thanos Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious thanos puns

Yo mama so fat

Thanos had to snap twice.

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Yo mama so fat...

Thanos had to clap to get rid of her

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Thanos goes to his urologist.

The urologist says, "Congrats Thanos, you now also have the kidney stone"

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Your momma's so fat

Thanos had to clap

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What is Thanos favourite social media?

Obviously Snapchat

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Your momma so fat

It's been four weeks since Thanos snapped his fingers and she's still disintegrating.

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Yo Momma so fat (Avengers Edition)

Yo Momma so fat it took Thanos 2 Snaps to destroy her.

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I'm not allowed to dress up as a superhero and visit the children's hospital anymore.

And I put so much work into my Thanos costume.

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Why was OJ Simpson turned down for the role of Thanos?

The glove didn't fit.

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Thanos would make a great accountant

The books would always be balanced.

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Why is there always dust at the bottom of a bag of cereal?

It's a sign Thanos has ensured you get a "balanced" breakfast.

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(Infinity War Speculation) When Thanos gains the mind stone, he will turn into Palpatine.

Because The Avengers will pay for their lack of Vision.

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Yo mamma so fat

That Thanos had to clap

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Thanos came to Earth in 2023

seeking the six Infinity Stones. As he sat on a rock, waiting for his underlings to bring the Stones to him, three strange men arrived in front of him, seemingly out of nowhere. One wore a red cape, another bore a red shield, the third was clad in a red suit. They fought, and it was a bloody battle, but Thanos was mighty, and eventually took control of the gauntlet which housed the Stones.

As he shaped to snap his fingers, Thanos smiled, and slowly declared:

"I - am - inevitable."

Nothing happened.

With a look of shock on his face, Thanos watched as the man in the red suit lifted his right hand, revealing the real Infinity Stones.

"And we - ", said the man in the red suit, "are...

... the Spanish Inquisition."

And nobody, not even Thanos, expects the Spanish Inquisition.

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Thor, upon his mighty steed, approaches his enemy, Thanos. Thanos asks "Who might you be?"

"I AM THORRRR!!!"

His horse perks up and says "Well, then wear a thaddle thilly."

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Thanos wasn't completely responsible for all the deaths caused by the Infinity Gauntlet...

But he had a hand in it.

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How does Thanos keep in shape?

With a balanced diet.

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The Infinity Gauntlet was for the left hand

Even Thanos had priorities.

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I think my boss might actually be Thanos in disguise

Today, he snapped his fingers and half my weekend disappeared.

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What does Thanos like to eat?

A healthy and perfectly balanced breakfast. As all breakfasts should be.

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In Avengers: Infinity War, Thanos absolutely went crazy.

He snapped.

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Which app does Thanos use to communicate with half of the universe? (Infinity War Spoilers)

Snapchat

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What is Iron Man's least favorite operating system?

ThanOS

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Why can't the Avengers fight Thanos in the dark?

Their Vision's fucking useless.

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Kim Jong Un was working for Thanos the whole time

He was trying to get the Seoul Stone

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Why does Thanos Car have top of the line tires?

The hardest choices require the strongest of wheels.

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what is Thanos favorite song?

Another One Bites the Dust

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How is Thanos and a feminist similar?

They both wanna wipe out half the world

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Where does Thanos like to swim?

In the Infinity Pool.

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A glass of water that is half full

Optimist: The Glass is half full.
Pessimist: The glass is half empty.
Thanos: Perfectly balanced.

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What is Thanos favourite app?

Snap chat

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The only thing scarier than Thanos is a sassy gay Thanos

*Snaps in a Z formation*

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What does thanos and marriage has in common?

Both can take away half your shit with a snap of a finger

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What operating system does Thanos' devices run on?

ThanOS

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What software does the Infinity Gauntlet run on?

ThanOS

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What are the most funny Thanos jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Thanos? Well, here are the best Thanos dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Thanos pick up lines to share with friends.

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