Thanos Jokes
122 thanos jokes and hilarious thanos puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about thanos that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Are you looking for some Thanos jokes to make your friends laugh? Check out this article for some of the best jokes featuring Marvel's mad-titan. You'll get a good chuckle from the jokes involving his snap and his battles against the Asgardian Chrono and Creamer.
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Funniest Thanos Short Jokes
Short thanos jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The thanos humour may include short infinity jokes also.
- Thanos' finger snap would have a greater impact if they found a way to make it seem like half the audience disappeared. Apparently only DC movies can do that.
- Thanos goes to his urologist. The urologist says, "Congrats Thanos, you now also have the kidney stone"
- Your momma so fat It's been four weeks since Thanos snapped his fingers and she's still disintegrating.
- I'm not allowed to dress up as a superhero and visit the children's hospital anymore. And I put so much work into my Thanos costume.
- Thanos would have made a great President. He would have achieved social distancing in a snap.
- Brilliant idea for a start-up Imma build a new operating system which, when the disk gets full, randomly deletes half your files.
Gonna call it thanOS. - Why is there always dust at the bottom of a bag of cereal? It's a sign Thanos has ensured you get a "balanced" breakfast.
- (Infinity War Speculation) When Thanos gains the mind stone, he will turn into Palpatine. Because The Avengers will pay for their lack of Vision.
- Thanos wasn't completely responsible for all the deaths caused by the Infinity Gauntlet... But he had a hand in it.
- Thor, upon his mighty steed, approaches his enemy, Thanos. Thanos asks "Who might you be?" "I AM THORRRR!!!"
His horse perks up and says "Well, then wear a thaddle thilly."
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Thanos One Liners
Which thanos one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with thanos? I can suggest the ones about thanos snap and snap.
- Yo mama so fat Thanos had to snap twice.
- Thanos seems a lot like a pessimist to me Y'know, the 'universe half empty' kind of guy
- Yo mama so fat... Thanos had to clap to get rid of her
- Marvel's greatest villain is Thanos. DC's greatest villain is Rotten Tomatoes.
- Your momma's so fat Thanos had to clap
- What is Thanos favourite social media? Obviously snapchat
- Yo Momma so fat (Avengers Edition) Yo Momma so fat it took Thanos 2 Snaps to destroy her.
- What is Thanos' favourite game? Half-Life.
- My ex-wife's nickname is Thanos Cuz she snapped and now half my stuff is gone.
- What's Thanos' favorite drink? Snapple
- Why was oj simpson turned down for the role of Thanos? The glove didn't fit.
- Thanos would make a great accountant The books would always be balanced.
- What's Thanos's favorite video game? Half life
- How does Thanos smell things? Through Thanose.
- Yo mamma so fat That Thanos had to clap
Thanos Snap Jokes
Here is a list of funny thanos snap jokes and even better thanos snap puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I think my boss might actually be Thanos in disguise Today, he snapped his fingers and half my weekend disappeared.
- What snapped harder than Thanos' finger? Gwen stacy's neck
- In Avengers: Infinity War, Thanos absolutely went crazy. He snapped.
- my from 10y daughter. so proud! Yo mama is so fat, she broke the stairway to heaven!
Yo mama is so fat, when Thanos snapped his fingers, only half of her dissappeared! - What part of the body hurts the most when it snaps? Thanos
- Thanos's snap in infinity war would've had a greater impact if marvel made it seem that half of the audience wasn't there, But apparently only DC movies can do that.
- The only thing scarier than Thanos is a sassy gay Thanos *Snaps in a Z formation*
- Thanos has four kids. He used to have five, but one of them bugged him, until, well… …he snapped.
- Yo mamma so fat... Thanos snapped his fingers and only she disappeared
- I just made a woman cry. I just told her that she looked like thanos, I guess that's why she snapped...
Comical Thanos Jokes and Gems that Will Get You in Laughter Land
What funny jokes about thanos you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean cyclops jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make thanos pranks.
What is Iron Man's least favorite operating system?
ThanOS
Where does Thanos like to swim?
In the Infinity Pool.
How would rocket raccoon react if groot joined forces with Thanos in Infinity War?
"et tu Groot?"
Kim Jong Un was working for Thanos the whole time
He was trying to get the Seoul Stone
What's the least violent thing Thanos ever did? [SPOILERS]
He squished a spider!
If Thanos were English what would he collect?(No spoilers)
The Infinity Scones
What software does the Infinity Gauntlet run on?
ThanOS
Which app does Thanos use to communicate with half of the universe? (Infinity War Spoilers)
Snapchat
Thanos zodiac sign
Libra, since he likes "balanced" things
If Thanos owned a ship,
I'd think he'd own the Titanic
[SPOILER] Infinity War
Why is Red Skull happy to see the mad titan on Vormir?
Cos he is missing Thanos on his face.
The Infinity Gauntlet was for the left hand
Even Thanos had priorities.
What Does Thanos Say When He Makes A Mistake?
Oh Snap.
What operating system is most popular in the Marvel universe?
ThanOS.
Thanos once tried to wipe out half of the DC universe.
Access denied.
What kind of creamer does Thanos put in his coffee?
Half and Half
Net neutrality is back!
Thanos was a republican
How does Thanos keep in shape?
With a balanced diet.
Why doesn't Thanos play online video games?
Because they're never properly balanced.
Thanos appears in the Universe of Steven Universe
He snaps his fingers and half of Steven is gone.
Yor mom is so fat...
...that Thanos had to snap twice.
Your mama so fat, Thanos had to click his fingers twice.
what is Thanos favorite song?
Another One Bites the Dust
Which app do you not want Thanos to use?
Snapchat
What operating system does Thanos' devices run on?
ThanOS
How is Thanos and a feminist similar?
They both wanna wipe out half the world
I'm starting a petition for every wife considering divorce to be legally renamed Thanos.
It's only fitting, given that the moment one snaps, half the money disappears
Why did it take only one movie for Thanos to get all of the infinity stones?
Because he wanted to make it snappy.
Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.
When you over hear a conversation and aren't sure if they're reading from the Bible or quoting Thanos.
What does Thanos like to eat?
A healthy and perfectly balanced breakfast. As all breakfasts should be.
If Thanos ever had to go to a hospital
He'd be sent to the Infinity Ward
Yo momma so fat, that Thanos
Could not find space to land so he left
To think that out of 14,000,605 futures that Strange had seen, not even one of them has Peter didn't screw up or Thor actually "go for the head".
Thanos must be the luckiest Titan alive.
What's the best operating system?
ThanOS. It maximizes its resources by periodically killing half of its processes.
What happens when Thanos watches The Addams Family?
3/4 of the universe dies.
DooDooDooDoo *click* *click*
A glass of water that is half full
Optimist: The Glass is half full.
Pessimist: The glass is half empty.
Thanos: Perfectly balanced.
How does Thanos like his pizza?
perfectly balanced, as all pizzas should be.
Why would the Avengers have been better able to see a solution to the infinity war if Thanos had arrived just a couple of years later?
They'd have had 2020 Vision
(I'm so sorry)
Why does Thanos Car have top of the line tires?
The hardest choices require the strongest of wheels.
People are like a bundle of straw
Thanos snapped them in half
Thanos got a new phone
He added half of his contacts on Snapchat
What video game does Thanos like most?
Half-Life
Why does Thanos love gymnasts?
Because they are perfectly balanced, just as all things should be.
What social media does thanos use?
Snapchat
What operating system does the Infinity Gauntlet use?
thanOS
Thanos snap finaly got to
Stan lee
Why is Thanos so healthy?
His meal is perfectly balanced.
Did you know Thanos's name has Spanish origin?
Thanar- to equalize/make as something should be
Thano
Thanos
Thana
Thanos was not the Mad Man
All he wanted was someone to go for head.
h**... is basically Thanos...
...he turned half of Germany to dust.
Chuck Norris once passed 6 kidney stones.
They were then subsequently collected by Thanos to wipe out half of all life in the universe.
Why doesnt Thanos use instagram?
He prefers SNAPchat.
Job hunting joke
When you apply to 100 jobs in one day and the next day get only one email asking for an interview. I imagine thanos in the corner saying all that for a drop of blood
What would thanos be called if he was a soundcloud rapper?
Xanos!
The 1 reality that survived Infinity Wars..
..was the one where Thanos didn't know how to snap his fingers.
Thanos seems like an optimistic guy.
You know, universe half full kind-of-guy.
Anyone else curious to see if the Avengers will show up today and prevent Tom Brady from becoming Thanos?
We are in the endgame now
Stand aside Thanos...
Tom Brady has the six infinity stones now.
When Thanos snaps...
Avengers: Oh no, he did it he managed to get rid of half the universe we did not stop him there is no hope. We are in Endgame now.
Karen: ThE VaCCinEs TurNEd My KIdS tO DuSt !!!!!
