Thanksgiving Turkey Jokes

120 thanksgiving turkey jokes and hilarious thanksgiving turkey puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about thanksgiving turkey that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Quick Jump To

Funniest Thanksgiving Turkey Short Jokes

Short thanksgiving turkey jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The thanksgiving turkey humour may include short turkey thanksgiving jokes also.

  1. Russia might not celebrate thanksgiving but I'm pretty sure they will be frying a turkey.
  2. What do Americans and Putin have in common? They'll both be nuking turkey after Thanksgiving.
  3. What's the difference between retail workers and turkeys? We let the turkey rest on Thanksgiving.
  4. What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children? If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!
  5. Why don't the Bulgarians, Greeks, and Armenians celebrate Thanksgiving? Because they don't like Turkey.
  6. Did you hear about the guy who got addicted to eating thanksgiving leftovers out of the fridge? He had to quit cold turkey.
  7. I couldn't bring myself to shoot my own turkey for thanksgiving ... So I dressed one up in baggy sweat pants and gave it a bag of skittles and a cop shot it for me
  8. After eating Thanksgiving at my house, my friends are always asking me how I prepare the turkey... ...easy, I tell the bird he is going to die.
  9. Why should you never set the turkey next to the dessert? Because he will gobble, gobble it up!
  10. My family told me to stop eating the leftover Thanksgiving food from the fridge. But sadly, I couldn't quit cold turkey.

Share These Thanksgiving Turkey Jokes With Friends

Thanksgiving Turkey One Liners

Which thanksgiving turkey one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with thanksgiving turkey? I can suggest the ones about christmas turkey and turkey.

  1. I used to be addicted to Thanksgiving leftovers I had to quit cold turkey
  2. What's the best dance to do on Thanksgiving? The turkey trot.
  3. What are the Russians eating for thanksgiving? Beef with turkey
  4. It's Thanksgiving, who doesn't like Turkey? Russia
  5. I'm not going to eat Thanksgiving leftovers anymore. This year, I'm quitting cold turkey.
  6. What happened when the turkey got into a fight? He got the stuffing knocked out of him!
  7. I've decided to avoid Turkey this Thanksgiving... Way too close to Syria.
  8. What's a turkey's favorite dessert? Apple gobbler.
  9. What is a turkey’s favorite dessert? Peach gobbler!
  10. Why did the turkey play the drums in his band? Because he already had drum sticks!
  11. The EU was invited to a thanksgiving dinner but they refused to have turkey
  12. Why isn't the turkey hungry at Thanksgiving? Because he's already stuffed!
  13. Would you like some Thanksgiving leftovers? I'm trying to quit cold turkey.
  14. What's the best song to sing when preparing your turkey? All About That Baste.
  15. What was the turkey suspected of? Fowl play.

Share Hilarious Thanksgiving Turkey Jokes and Enjoy Unforgettable Laughter

What funny jokes about thanksgiving turkey you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean kids turkey jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make thanksgiving turkey pranks.

Why did the Pilgrims eat turkey on Thanksgiving?
They couldn't get the moose in the oven!

Who doesn't eat on Thanksgiving? A turkey because it is always stuffed.

Q: What is the difference between a chicken and a turkey?
A: Chickens celebrate Thanksgiving!

Help! This is my first time cooking for Thanksgiving.

The turkey's been in the oven for two hours, and it's still running around!

Why did the turkey play drums in his band? Because he already had drumsticks!

There's always something to be thankful for on Thanksgiving. Even if it's just not being a turkey.

Scientists created a six-legged turkey for families who fight over the drumsticks.

But the turkeys escaped, and no one can catch them.

You should be happy we're having turkey, rather than the turkey have us.

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys for Thanksgiving, but she couldn't find one big enough for her family.

She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

A woman walks into a tattoo parlor.

Asking the man in charge to put a picture of a turkey saying "Happy Thanksgiving!" on one thigh and a picture of Santa saying "Merry Christmas!" on the other. The man looked confused by her odd request, so he asked her why. She calmly looked at him and replied without even a stutter. "My husband always complains that there's nothing good to eat between Christmas and Thanksgiving."

The first year I didn't eat Thanksgiving leftovers on the day after.

I quit cold turkey.

Thanksgiving in Bulgaria

Obviously Thanksgiving is an American holiday. However, as a former soldier deployed to Southern Europe, I was given a week long pass during the week of Thanksgiving. I decided to go to Bulgaria. You know what the best thing about Thanksgiving in Bulgaria is?
Bulgaria is next to Turkey and Greece.

Why shouldn't you join alcoholics anonymous on Thanksgiving?

Because all they serve is cold turkey.

I always heat up my Thanksgiving leftovers.

I quit cold turkey a long time ago.

After Thanksgiving a woman continually finds her husband rummaging through the fridge...

... ravenously devouring leftovers from their Thanksgiving feast. It gets to the point where she begins to get worried and asks, "Honey can you stop eating like that? You aren't even heating your food!" To which the husband replies, "Everyone knows it is futile to try and quit cold turkey!"

Q: Where do turkeys go to dance?

A: The butterball.

What sound does a turkey’s phone make?

Wing! Wing!

Why did the turkey cross the road?

It was the chicken’s day off!

What did the turkey say before it was roasted?

Boy! I’m stuffed!

What do you call a running turkey?

Fast food.

When do you serve tofu turkey?


What's the key to a great Thanksgiving?


I've been addicted to eating the Thanksgiving leftovers... I decided to quit cold turkey.

A lady goes to a tattoo parlor and gets a tattoo of a turkey on her left thigh.

A week later she gets a tattoo of Santa Claus on her right thigh. The artist asked what's the significance. she replies turkey is for Thanksgiving, Santa is for Christmas. My husband complains there is nothing to eat in between Thanksgiving and Christmas, now he can't complain

Why is there so much leftover turkey after a Kardashian Thanksgiving?

Because they only like the dark meat

Why was the United Nations concerned when the waitress dropped the platter on Thanksgiving?

It meant the fall of Turkey, the ruin of Greece, and the breakup of China.

We went shopping for a turkey to cook for Thanksgiving.

We're expecting 20 people at our house and my husband wanted to find the perfect turkey for the s**.... After picking through the stock at the grocery store he can't find one he wants. He says, "Don't these get any bigger?" I replied. "No, honey. They're already dead."

How does Vladimir Putin like his Thanksgiving turkey?


Obama calls Putin and asks abut his Thanksgiving.

Putin: Turkey is about to be cooked.

Why does Russia not celebrate Thanksgiving?

Because they hate Turkey

Who celebrates thanksgiving in Canada?

All the turkeys that made it across the border.

I've decided to completely forgo Thanksgiving leftovers this year.

I'm quitting cold turkey.

What's worse that burning the turkey on thanksgiving?

Being a starving African Child.

Why can't vin diesel differentiate Thanksgiving Turkey from his best friend?

Because they're both roasted

What do thanksgiving dinner and the r**... crisis in Europe have in common?

Turkey and grease

So I guess it's going to be ham for Thanksgiving

lulz. cause no more Turkey

Just after Thanksgiving this year..

I quit left overs, cold turkey.

In honour of canadian thanksgiving...

I will be tickling the turkey instead of choking the chicken all day today

Q: Should you have your whole family for Thanksgiving dinner?

A: No, you should just have the turkey!

Somebody stole my Thanksgiving turkey...

I suspect fowl play

How do you break into someones house on Thanksgiving?

Use a Turkey.

What do you call someone talented at cooking turkey?

A master-baster.
Have a great thanksgiving.

What song do turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day?

God save the kin.

I didn't think housework is a full-time job, so for Thanksgiving my wife served me a raw turkey.

Revenge is a dish best served cold.

A Native American scolded me for celebrating Thanksgiving, a celebration of s**...

So I said, "you're right, it's awful what they've done to the turkeys all these years."

What's the worst part about Thanksgiving leftovers?

Having to quit cold turkey.

What's the difference between a Thanksgiving turkey and an EA game?

The turkey is stuffed with content and you only have to pay for it once.

What would you get if you crossed a turkey with a ghost?

A poultry-geist

What did turkey do on thanksgiving?

Changed its foreign policy on syria.

Teacher: What are you thankful for this Thanksgiving?

Teacher: What are you thankful for this Thanksgiving?
Student: I'm thankful I'm not a turkey.

I like to keep my Thanksgiving dinner simple: turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, and veggies

Everything else is just gravy

What do Black Friday shoppers and the Thanksgiving turkey have in common?

They both know what it's like to be jammed into a small place and stuffed

When you heat up leftovers from thanksgiving...

You're quitting cold turkey

I dropped the thanksgiving dinner and caused a geopolitical incident.

The fall of Turkey. The splattering of Greece. And the breaking up of China.

A soccer mom walked into a tattoo parlor and asked for a Christmas tree on her left thigh and a turkey on the right thigh.

When they were done the artist asked why she wanted these tattoos.
She replied, "My husband always complains that there's nothing to eat between Thanksgiving and Christmas."


I'm going to bed with a frozen turkey and tomorrow I will wake up to thanksgiving dinner
Anita Marie Echevarria Cynical Comic

What's the most ironic thing about Trump pardoning a Turkey on Thanksgiving?

He's also going to pardon a Saudi Arabia

how do you unlock a door on Thanksgiving?

with tur-keys

Police are investigating who stole the Thanksgiving turkey...

Right now there is no leads... But they suspect FOWL Play..

What's the hardest thing about smoking your Thanksgiving Turkey?

Getting the zigzag to seal?
... or keeping it lit?

From a conversation at the the Thanksgiving table about the turkeys Trump pardoned

Why did John Lennon hate carrots?
Because he wanted to give peas a chance.

Overheard in poultry section: When does the turkey expire?

Me: About ten seconds after you cut the head off.
Happy Thanksgiving

This Thanksgiving, I'm proud to have Trump as out president.

He was gracious enough to give the Thanksgiving pardon to Robert Muller. Fingers crossed he chooses the right turkey.

Chief Justice John Roberts is visiting the White House for Thanksgiving

Trump is desperately trying to have himself legally declared a turkey.

The day after Thanksgiving someone wished me Happy Turkey Recovery Day

Sorry to burst your bubble, but those turkeys aren't recovering from yesterday.

In Turkey we are not allowed to celebrate Thanksgiving...

Because the law considers it cannibalism

What do leftover Thanksgiving dinner and overcoming an addiction have in common?

They both involve cold turkey.