Thanksgiving Jokes
178 thanksgiving jokes and hilarious thanksgiving puns to laugh out loud. Read holiday jokes about thanksgiving that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
My Experiences with Thanksgiving Jokes
Thanksgiving always holds a special place in my heart, and not just for the food and family gatherings. My personal tradition? Cracking Thanksgiving jokes, suitable for all audiences, sparking laughter and lightening up the festive atmosphere.
Thanksgiving Jokes for Adults
Adults at my Thanksgiving table enjoy a certain brand of humor that goes just beyond the simple puns. More sophisticated and tongue-in-cheek, these jokes tend to bring about chuckles followed by thoughtful nods. There's something truly special about sharing these laughs with my grown-up friends and family.
Thanksgiving Jokes for Church
Sharing Thanksgiving jokes at church brings a wholesome and spirited cheer to the gathering. I exhibit extra care to keep these jokes pertinent and respectful to the setting. It's wonderful to see the congregation laughing together, encapsulating a unique sense of community only humor can bring.
Thanksgiving Jokes for Senior Citizens
Finally, cracking Thanksgiving jokes with senior citizens is so rewarding. They've cherished these traditions the longest, and their laughter makes my day. I often find them sharing their own jokes in return, enriching my collection even further.
From one-liners to tailored jokes for various groups, Thanksgiving jokes have indeed been a special part of my holiday gatherings, adding an extra layer of joy and bonding everyone at a whole new level.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Thanksgiving Short Jokes
Short thanksgiving jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The thanksgiving humour may include short christmas turkey jokes also.
- Russia might not celebrate thanksgiving but I'm pretty sure they will be frying a turkey.
- Why did the farmer run a steamroller over his potato field on Thanksgiving Day? He wanted to raise mashed potatoes.
- What do Americans and Putin have in common? They'll both be nuking turkey after Thanksgiving.
- As a Canadian I never realized how slow my internet was until today. I just now started seeing Thanksgiving posts!
- If anyone has no family and will be alone on thanksgiving please let me know I really need to borrow some chairs from you.
- Jesus invited prostitutes to dine with him, and he's the light of the world, I do it, and it ruins Thanksgiving.
- Thanksgiving is probably the only day that there are more searches for "stuffing" on Google than on PornHub.
- What's the difference between retail workers and turkeys? We let the turkey rest on Thanksgiving.
- With all the bad luck that the US has seen this year... You'd almost think this country was built on an ancient Indian burial ground.
- What's the worst part of thanksgiving dinner in Alabama? Having to sit around a table with all the people you've slept with.
Share These Thanksgiving Jokes With Friends
Thanksgiving One Liners
Which thanksgiving one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with thanksgiving? I can suggest the ones about turkey day and turkey.
- I used to be addicted to Thanksgiving leftovers I had to quit cold turkey
- What does miley cyrus serve on Thanksgiving? Twerky.
- Happy Thanksgiving Guys! I hope Internet Explorer sends this in time.
- What's the best dance to do on Thanksgiving? The turkey trot.
- What are the Russians eating for thanksgiving? Beef with turkey
- It's Thanksgiving, who doesn't like Turkey? Russia
- I'm not going to eat Thanksgiving leftovers anymore. This year, I'm quitting cold turkey.
- What dish makes the worst jokes at a Thanksgiving dinner? The corny bread.
- What happened when the turkey got into a fight? He got the stuffing knocked out of him!
- Why was the Thanksgiving soup so expensive? It had 24 carrots.
- I've decided to avoid Turkey this Thanksgiving... Way too close to Syria.
- What's a turkey's favorite dessert? Apple gobbler.
- Knock Knock. Who's there? Arthur.
Arthur who? Arthur any leftovers? - What is a turkey’s favorite dessert? Peach gobbler!
- A Chinese family's dog ran away one night ...Thanksgiving was ruined.
After Thanksgiving Jokes
Here is a list of funny after thanksgiving jokes and even better after thanksgiving puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children? If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!
- Give a man some corn, he eats for a day. Teach a man to grow corn, he kills you and steals your land!
- If there's anyone out there who has no family and is planning to stay home alone this Thanksgiving, please let me know. I need to borrow some chairs.
- Why don't the Bulgarians, Greeks, and Armenians celebrate Thanksgiving? Because they don't like Turkey.
- If you login to Amazon and other retailers websites for Thanksgiving sale, you may save up to 70%........
But if you don't login, you'll save 100% - Q: April showers bring May flowers. What do May flowers bring? A: Separatists and small pox.
- How will Joe and Jill Biden spend thanksgiving with proper social distancing? Biden selves.
- Did you hear about the guy who got addicted to eating thanksgiving leftovers out of the fridge? He had to quit cold turkey.
- I couldn't bring myself to shoot my own turkey for thanksgiving ... So I dressed one up in baggy sweat pants and gave it a bag of skittles and a cop shot it for me
- After eating Thanksgiving at my house, my friends are always asking me how I prepare the turkey... ...easy, I tell the bird he is going to die.
Turkey Thanksgiving Jokes
Here is a list of funny turkey thanksgiving jokes and even better turkey thanksgiving puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why should you never set the turkey next to the dessert? Because he will gobble, gobble it up!
- My family told me to stop eating the leftover Thanksgiving food from the fridge. But sadly, I couldn't quit cold turkey.
- Why did the cranberries turn red at Thanksgiving dinner?
Because they heard the turkey got stuffed! - Why do turkeys love thanksgiving? Because they don't have to worry about buying Christmas presents
- Why did the turkey play the drums in his band? Because he already had drum sticks!
- The EU was invited to a thanksgiving dinner but they refused to have turkey
- Why isn't the turkey hungry at Thanksgiving? Because he's already stuffed!
- Would you like some Thanksgiving leftovers? I'm trying to quit cold turkey.
- The first year I didn't eat Thanksgiving leftovers on the day after. I quit cold turkey.
- Finally time for my thanksgiving joke!! Why did the turkey get kicked out of the football stadium?
Because he tryptophan
Thanksgiving Turkey Jokes
Here is a list of funny thanksgiving turkey jokes and even better thanksgiving turkey puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What's the best song to sing when preparing your turkey? All About That Baste.
- What's the difference between a Thanksgiving turkey and an EA game? The turkey is stuffed with content and you only have to pay for it once.
- What was the turkey suspected of? Fowl play.
- Knock Knock. Who's there? Tamara. Tamara who? Tamara we'll have turkey leftovers!
- I always heat up my Thanksgiving leftovers. I quit cold turkey a long time ago.
- What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter on Thanksgiving Day? Quack, quack!
- Why shouldn't you join alcoholics anonymous on Thanksgiving? Because all they serve is cold turkey.
- I didn't think housework is a full-time job, so for Thanksgiving my wife served me a raw turkey. Revenge is a dish best served cold.
- Ever year after Thanksgiving, I give up all my bad habits. I can do it, because I have lots of cold turkey.
- Why did the turkey cross the road twice? To prove he wasn't a chicken
Thanksgiving Dinner Jokes
Here is a list of funny thanksgiving dinner jokes and even better thanksgiving dinner puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- This year, I'm going to save money on Christmas gifts by bringing up politics during Thanksgiving dinner.
- How do you stop a baby from turning blue? Take it out of the plastic bag.
(no joke, told by my 12 year old daughter at Thanksgiving dinner) - What can never be eaten for Thanksgiving dinner? Thanksgiving breakfast.
- What role do green beans play in Thanksgiving dinner? The casse-role.
- A new survey found that 80% of men claim they help cook Thanksgiving dinner. Which makes sense, when you hear they consider saying 'that smells good' to be helping.
- After the Thanksgiving dinner, everyone says (√-1)/8
- "Doctor, I have heard lots of voices that are making me want to kill my family" Doctor - "Yeah that is just Thanksgiving Dinner"
- Thanksgiving dinners take 18 hours to prepare. They are consumed in 12 minutes. Half-times take 12 minutes. This is not coincidence.
- What kind of 'tude is appropriate at the family dinner? Gratitude.
- What does a stripper eat for thanksgiving dinner? Twerky
Cheeky Thanksgiving Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle
What funny jokes about thanksgiving you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean christmas dinner jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make thanksgiving pranks.
If your left leg was thanksgiving, and your right leg is Christmas, can I come visit you between the holidays?
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys for Thanksgiving, but she couldn't find one big enough for her family.
She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
A woman walks into a tattoo parlor.
Asking the man in charge to put a picture of a turkey saying "Happy Thanksgiving!" on one thigh and a picture of Santa saying "Merry Christmas!" on the other. The man looked confused by her odd request, so he asked her why. She calmly looked at him and replied without even a stutter. "My husband always complains that there's nothing good to eat between Christmas and Thanksgiving."
Thanksgiving in Bulgaria
Obviously Thanksgiving is an American holiday. However, as a former soldier deployed to Southern Europe, I was given a week long pass during the week of Thanksgiving. I decided to go to Bulgaria. You know what the best thing about Thanksgiving in Bulgaria is?
Bulgaria is next to Turkey and Greece.
You want to know what's the toughest part about Thanksgiving dinner at my house?
The s**... tensions
What do you call a running turkey?
Fast food.
Why was the cook late to Thanksgiving dinner?
He lost track of thyme.
Why does Thanksgiving feel like a date with Bill Cosby?
You wake up 3 hours later drowsy and wondering why you feel like you just got stuffed with dark meat
A lady goes to a tattoo parlor and gets a tattoo of a turkey on her left thigh.
A week later she gets a tattoo of Santa Claus on her right thigh. The artist asked what's the significance. she replies turkey is for Thanksgiving, Santa is for Christmas. My husband complains there is nothing to eat in between Thanksgiving and Christmas, now he can't complain
What did the r**... do for thanksgiving?
Pump kin pie.
We went shopping for a turkey to cook for Thanksgiving.
We're expecting 20 people at our house and my husband wanted to find the perfect turkey for the s**.... After picking through the stock at the grocery store he can't find one he wants. He says, "Don't these get any bigger?" I replied. "No, honey. They're already dead."
What are ISIS militants using to stuff their Thanksgiving goat?
Their d**...!
What did the hipster say the day after thanksgiving?
I liked the leftovers before they were cool.
So my girlfriend and my mom have never met...
So I told my girlfriend that my mother is deaf, so she will need to speak slowly and loudly for her to understand you. I then called my mom and told her to be nice, cause my girlfriend is r**.... Boy it's going to be a fun Thanksgiving this year!
What did the circus owner say to the human-cannonball when the he wanted to retire?
How will I ever find another performer of your caliber?
I think my favorite Thanksgiving food is pie
But some people say that's irrational...
I ate so much at Thanksgiving,
I had to loosen my Fitbit.
Why can't vin diesel differentiate Thanksgiving Turkey from his best friend?
Because they're both roasted
We're having a traditional Thanksgiving this year.
We're going to invite the neighbors to dinner, m**... them, and take their land.
The cowboys play the r**... this year in thanksgiving day.
Just like the first thanksgiving.
What do Japanese people say after a Thanksgiving prayer?
Ra'men.
Looking forward to my traditional 7-course Irish Thanksgiving meal
A six pack and a potato
It's almost Thanksgiving day...
Remember to set all your scales back 10 pounds tonight.
Thanksgiving is here, and I love trigonometry
sorry, I went off on a tangent.
What song do turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day?
God save the kin.
Thanksgiving.
The day in 1621 when Native Americans shared a meal with undocumented immigrants who never left.
I don't understand why the Lions and Vikings get to play on thanksgiving.
Shouldn't the Patriots play the r**..., and then steal their stadium?
A Native American scolded me for celebrating Thanksgiving, a celebration of s**...
So I said, "you're right, it's awful what they've done to the turkeys all these years."
Why do they call the day after Thanksgiving "Black Friday"?
Because everything is a steal.
The day after Thanksgiving is often the biggest capitalist/materialistic shopping day every year. I'm protesting it this year, and had to think of the movement's slogan...
Black Fridays Matter.
Political opinions are like d**.......
Sometimes they lean left, sometimes they lean right, and nobody likes it when your crazy uncle whips his out at Thanksgiving dinner.
Thanksgiving...
The only holiday where you eat the mascot
What did turkey do on thanksgiving?
Changed its foreign policy on syria.
Why didn't my teddy bear get invited to Thanksgiving?
He 's already stuffed!
Two men from Texas are having a conversation...
The first man asks the second man "Imagine being in the same room with all of the people you've slept with." The second man responds with "I don't have to imagine, I do that every thanksgiving."
I dropped the thanksgiving dinner and caused a geopolitical incident.
The fall of Turkey. The splattering of Greece. And the breaking up of China.
A soccer mom walked into a tattoo parlor and asked for a Christmas tree on her left thigh and a turkey on the right thigh.
When they were done the artist asked why she wanted these tattoos.
She replied, "My husband always complains that there's nothing to eat between Thanksgiving and Christmas."
Put the conspiracies to rest, I've seen a real flying saucer before
It was not my family's proudest thanksgiving.
I am a macho man, i always say the final words while argueing with my wife!
"Yes honey you are right"
"As you wish"
"Ok we can go to your family on thanksgiving no problem"
"I'm on it"
I was in an o**... last year
It was strange, but my family has always had weird thanksgivings
A lady walked into a tattoo parlor and said, "Can you do a tattoo of a turkey on my right inner thigh and one of a Christmas tree on my left inner thigh?"
"Sure,* the tattoo artist said. "But if you
don't mind me asking, why did you choose
those two designs?"
The lady smiled. "My husband' she explained. "He says there's never anything to eat
between Thanksgiving and Christmas!"
Why was O.J. allowed out of jail for thanksgiving?
He was the only one in his family who knows how to carve up white meat.
What kind of key can't open doors?
A tur-key.
What does Thanksgiving have in common with Halloween?
Gobble-ins!
