Thanksgiving Jokes
178 thanksgiving jokes and hilarious thanksgiving puns to laugh out loud. Read holiday jokes about thanksgiving that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
My Experiences with Thanksgiving Jokes
Thanksgiving always holds a special place in my heart, and not just for the food and family gatherings. My personal tradition? Cracking Thanksgiving jokes, suitable for all audiences, sparking laughter and lightening up the festive atmosphere.
Thanksgiving Jokes for Adults
Adults at my Thanksgiving table enjoy a certain brand of humor that goes just beyond the simple puns. More sophisticated and tongue-in-cheek, these jokes tend to bring about chuckles followed by thoughtful nods. There's something truly special about sharing these laughs with my grown-up friends and family.
Thanksgiving Jokes for Church
Sharing Thanksgiving jokes at church brings a wholesome and spirited cheer to the gathering. I exhibit extra care to keep these jokes pertinent and respectful to the setting. It's wonderful to see the congregation laughing together, encapsulating a unique sense of community only humor can bring.
Thanksgiving Jokes for Senior Citizens
Finally, cracking Thanksgiving jokes with senior citizens is so rewarding. They've cherished these traditions the longest, and their laughter makes my day. I often find them sharing their own jokes in return, enriching my collection even further.
From one-liners to tailored jokes for various groups, Thanksgiving jokes have indeed been a special part of my holiday gatherings, adding an extra layer of joy and bonding everyone at a whole new level.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Thanksgiving Short Jokes
Short thanksgiving jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The thanksgiving humour may include short christmas turkey jokes also.
- Russia might not celebrate thanksgiving but I'm pretty sure they will be frying a turkey.
- Why did the farmer run a steamroller over his potato field on Thanksgiving Day? He wanted to raise mashed potatoes.
- As a Canadian I never realized how slow my internet was until today. I just now started seeing Thanksgiving posts!
- Thanksgiving is probably the only day that there are more searches for "stuffing" on Google than on PornHub.
- What's the difference between retail workers and turkeys? We let the turkey rest on Thanksgiving.
- What's the worst part of thanksgiving dinner in Alabama? Having to sit around a table with all the people you've slept with.
- What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children? If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!
- If there's anyone out there who has no family and is planning to stay home alone this Thanksgiving, please let me know. I need to borrow some chairs.
- Why don't the Bulgarians, Greeks, and Armenians celebrate Thanksgiving? Because they don't like Turkey.
- If you login to Amazon and other retailers websites for Thanksgiving sale, you may save up to 70%........
But if you don't login, you'll save 100%
Share These Thanksgiving Jokes With Friends
Thanksgiving One Liners
Which thanksgiving one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with thanksgiving? I can suggest the ones about turkey day and turkey.
- I used to be addicted to Thanksgiving leftovers I had to quit cold turkey
- What does miley cyrus serve on Thanksgiving? Twerky.
- Happy Thanksgiving Guys! I hope Internet Explorer sends this in time.
- What are the Russians eating for thanksgiving? Beef with turkey
- It's Thanksgiving, who doesn't like Turkey? Russia
- I'm not going to eat Thanksgiving leftovers anymore. This year, I'm quitting cold turkey.
- What dish makes the worst jokes at a Thanksgiving dinner? The corny bread.
- What happened when the turkey got into a fight? He got the stuffing knocked out of him!
- Why was the Thanksgiving soup so expensive? It had 24 carrots.
- I've decided to avoid Turkey this Thanksgiving... Way too close to Syria.
- Knock Knock. Who's there? Arthur.
Arthur who? Arthur any leftovers? - A Chinese family's dog ran away one night ...Thanksgiving was ruined.
- I think my favorite Thanksgiving food is pie But some people say that's irrational...
- Why didn't my teddy bear get invited to Thanksgiving? He 's already stuffed!
- What does Thanksgiving have in common with Halloween? Gobble-ins!
After Thanksgiving Jokes
Here is a list of funny after thanksgiving jokes and even better after thanksgiving puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- How will Joe and Jill Biden spend thanksgiving with proper social distancing? Biden selves.
- Did you hear about the guy who got addicted to eating thanksgiving leftovers out of the fridge? He had to quit cold turkey.
- I couldn't bring myself to shoot my own turkey for thanksgiving ... So I dressed one up in baggy sweat pants and gave it a bag of skittles and a cop shot it for me
- This year, I'm going to save money on Christmas gifts by bringing up politics during Thanksgiving dinner.
- How do you win an argument with your family this Thanksgiving? Click the 'End Meeting' button
- Why should you never set the turkey next to the dessert? Because he will gobble, gobble it up!
- My family told me to stop eating the leftover Thanksgiving food from the fridge. But sadly, I couldn't quit cold turkey.
- What did the hipster say the day after thanksgiving? I liked the leftovers before they were cool.
- How do you stop a baby from turning blue? Take it out of the plastic bag.
(no joke, told by my 12 year old daughter at Thanksgiving dinner) - What can never be eaten for Thanksgiving dinner? Thanksgiving breakfast.
Turkey Thanksgiving Jokes
Here is a list of funny turkey thanksgiving jokes and even better turkey thanksgiving puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why did the cranberries turn red at Thanksgiving dinner?
Because they heard the turkey got stuffed! - Why do turkeys love thanksgiving? Because they don't have to worry about buying Christmas presents
- The EU was invited to a thanksgiving dinner but they refused to have turkey
- Why isn't the turkey hungry at Thanksgiving? Because he's already stuffed!
- Would you like some Thanksgiving leftovers? I'm trying to quit cold turkey.
- Finally time for my thanksgiving joke!! Why did the turkey get kicked out of the football stadium?
Because he tryptophan - What's the best song to sing when preparing your turkey? All About That Baste.
- What's the difference between a Thanksgiving turkey and an EA game? The turkey is stuffed with content and you only have to pay for it once.
- What was the turkey suspected of? Fowl play.
- Knock Knock. Who's there? Tamara. Tamara who? Tamara we'll have turkey leftovers!
Thanksgiving Turkey Jokes
Here is a list of funny thanksgiving turkey jokes and even better thanksgiving turkey puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I always heat up my Thanksgiving leftovers. I quit cold turkey a long time ago.
- Why shouldn't you join alcoholics anonymous on Thanksgiving? Because all they serve is cold turkey.
- I didn't think housework is a full-time job, so for Thanksgiving my wife served me a raw turkey. Revenge is a dish best served cold.
- Ever year after Thanksgiving, I give up all my bad habits. I can do it, because I have lots of cold turkey.
- Why can't vin diesel differentiate Thanksgiving Turkey from his best friend? Because they're both roasted
- What do you call a running turkey? Fast food.
- I dropped the thanksgiving dinner and caused a geopolitical incident. The fall of Turkey. The splattering of Greece. And the breaking up of China.
- What did turkey do on thanksgiving? Changed its foreign policy on syria.
- What song do turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day? God save the kin.
- I make vegetarian thanksgivings dinners They're called chive turkeys
Thanksgiving Dinner Jokes
Here is a list of funny thanksgiving dinner jokes and even better thanksgiving dinner puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What role do green beans play in Thanksgiving dinner? The casse-role.
- A new survey found that 80% of men claim they help cook Thanksgiving dinner. Which makes sense, when you hear they consider saying 'that smells good' to be helping.
- After the Thanksgiving dinner, everyone says (√-1)/8
- Thanksgiving dinners take 18 hours to prepare. They are consumed in 12 minutes. Half-times take 12 minutes. This is not coincidence.
- What kind of 'tude is appropriate at the family dinner? Gratitude.
- What does a stripper eat for thanksgiving dinner? Twerky
- Why was the cook late to Thanksgiving dinner? He lost track of thyme.
- I like to keep my Thanksgiving dinner simple: turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, and veggies Everything else is just gravy
- I invited OJ Simpson to my Thanksgiving dinner. He's good at carving white meat.
- There was going to be a big thanksgiving dinner in the hood for homeless people and it was canceled . Because the cameras weren't working
Cheeky Thanksgiving Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle
What funny jokes about thanksgiving you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean christmas dinner jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make thanksgiving pranks.
If your left leg was thanksgiving, and your right leg is Christmas, can I come visit you between the holidays?
Q: What is the difference between a chicken and a turkey?
A: Chickens celebrate Thanksgiving!
My family always celebrates Thanksgiving with a fast. The faster we eat, the more food we get.
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys for Thanksgiving, but she couldn't find one big enough for her family.
She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
After eating Thanksgiving at my house, my friends are always asking me how I prepare the turkey...
...easy, I tell the bird he is going to die.
Thanksgiving in Bulgaria
Obviously Thanksgiving is an American holiday. However, as a former soldier deployed to Southern Europe, I was given a week long pass during the week of Thanksgiving. I decided to go to Bulgaria. You know what the best thing about Thanksgiving in Bulgaria is?
Bulgaria is next to Turkey and Greece.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
You want to know what's the toughest part about Thanksgiving dinner at my house?
The s**... tensions
What did Voltaire eat for Thanksgiving?
Candide yams
What's the key to a great Thanksgiving?
Turkey
Why does Thanksgiving feel like a date with Bill Cosby?
You wake up 3 hours later drowsy and wondering why you feel like you just got stuffed with dark meat
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did the r**... do for thanksgiving?
Pump kin pie.
Why was the United Nations concerned when the waitress dropped the platter on Thanksgiving?
It meant the fall of Turkey, the ruin of Greece, and the breakup of China.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
We went shopping for a turkey to cook for Thanksgiving.
We're expecting 20 people at our house and my husband wanted to find the perfect turkey for the s**.... After picking through the stock at the grocery store he can't find one he wants. He says, "Don't these get any bigger?" I replied. "No, honey. They're already dead."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What are ISIS militants using to stuff their Thanksgiving goat?
Their d**...!
Why does Russia not celebrate Thanksgiving?
Because they hate Turkey
I ate so much at Thanksgiving,
I had to loosen my Fitbit.
I hope that Cyber Monday extends to the deep web...
Because I'm going to need to a discount on a new liver after all of that Thanksgiving drinking!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do thanksgiving dinner and the r**... crisis in Europe have in common?
Turkey and grease
So I guess it's going to be ham for Thanksgiving
lulz. cause no more Turkey
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
We're having a traditional Thanksgiving this year.
We're going to invite the neighbors to dinner, m**... them, and take their land.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The cowboys play the r**... this year in thanksgiving day.
Just like the first thanksgiving.
What do Japanese people say after a Thanksgiving prayer?
Ra'men.
Looking forward to my traditional 7-course Irish Thanksgiving meal
A six pack and a potato
It's almost Thanksgiving day...
Remember to set all your scales back 10 pounds tonight.
Thanksgiving is here, and I love trigonometry
sorry, I went off on a tangent.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
With all the bad luck that the US has seen this year...
You'd almost think this country was built on an ancient Indian burial ground.
Thanksgiving.
The day in 1621 when Native Americans shared a meal with undocumented immigrants who never left.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I don't understand why the Lions and Vikings get to play on thanksgiving.
Shouldn't the Patriots play the r**..., and then steal their stadium?
Thanksgiving...
Thanks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Native American scolded me for celebrating Thanksgiving, a celebration of s**...
So I said, "you're right, it's awful what they've done to the turkeys all these years."
The day after Thanksgiving is often the biggest capitalist/materialistic shopping day every year. I'm protesting it this year, and had to think of the movement's slogan...
Black Fridays Matter.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Political opinions are like d**.......
Sometimes they lean left, sometimes they lean right, and nobody likes it when your crazy uncle whips his out at Thanksgiving dinner.
Why is Secretary of State Tillerson holding middle east peace talks during Thanksgiving in Wisconsin?
It's the only state that serves curds and turks at the same table.
Thanksgiving...
The only holiday where you eat the mascot
For $60 you can have Thanksgiving at EA headquarters.
For another $2000 they'll unlock the whole buffet.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Give a man some corn, he eats for a day.
Teach a man to grow corn, he kills you and steals your land!
Today I'm thankful that...
EA isnt in charge of Thanksgiving.
I couldnt afford the sense of pride and accomplishment it'd take to get to the pecan pie.
What do robots eat for dessert on thanksgiving?
Raspberry pi.
Has anyone ever had a turducken?
Yeah I have. I started to push it out, but it ducked right back in
Two men from Texas are having a conversation...
The first man asks the second man "Imagine being in the same room with all of the people you've slept with." The second man responds with "I don't have to imagine, I do that every thanksgiving."
A soccer mom walked into a tattoo parlor and asked for a Christmas tree on her left thigh and a turkey on the right thigh.
When they were done the artist asked why she wanted these tattoos.
She replied, "My husband always complains that there's nothing to eat between Thanksgiving and Christmas."
Put the conspiracies to rest, I've seen a real flying saucer before
It was not my family's proudest thanksgiving.
I am a macho man, i always say the final words while argueing with my wife!
"Yes honey you are right"
"As you wish"
"Ok we can go to your family on thanksgiving no problem"
"I'm on it"
What did the cannibal eat for Thanksgiving?
A Turk
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was in an o**... last year
It was strange, but my family has always had weird thanksgivings
Why was O.J. allowed out of jail for thanksgiving?
He was the only one in his family who knows how to carve up white meat.
