The Best 59 Thankfully Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Thankfully jokes. There are some thankfully grandma says thank you jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these thankfully phew puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Thankfully Jokes and Puns

My neighbor is so inconsiderate!

He came pounding on my front door at 4am.

Thankfully I was already awake practicing my drum solo, but very rude!

Trudeau has been re-elected as the minority government, thankfully

he has just the suit to wear

My neighbor got in serious trouble for saying she would kill me in Sign Language.

Thankfully she was arrested for deaf threats

Thankfully joke, My neighbor got in serious trouble for saying she would kill me in Sign Language.

Did you hear about the plane that crashed on the way to the ginger convention?

Thankfully there were no souls on board.

When I was younger, I always felt like I was a man trapped in a woman's body.

Thankfully, it all changed when I was born.


My birthday is coming up, wife agreed to bday sex.

Thankfully she'll be out of town on a business trip so I'll have the house all to myself.

My chess board grew a tumor

Thankfully it's B-9

Thankfully joke, My chess board grew a tumor

A man once became addicted to cocaine from foreign countries. He spent all his money to travel and sample the evil drug in all parts of the world.

Thankfully, he stopped once he hit the Finnish line.

My math teacher told me that 3/5 of the kids in my class don't understand fractions

Thankfully I'm a part of the other 3/5.

My check engine light just turned on.

I opened up the hood and the engine is still there. Thankfully everything is fine, but I was worried for a minute.

There was a maniac in town earlier today threatening to splash passersby with acid.

Thankfully, police managed to neutralise him.

You can explore thankfully splinter reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean thankfully thank god dad jokes. There are also thankfully puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Cheese shop exploded

Thankfully I was only hit by da brie

I stuck my hand in my pocket and my pencil stabbed me

Thankfully it didn't draw blood

My Father taught me everything I know about sex.

Thankfully, he was a gentle man.

I'm 60 days clean now.

It's been hard showering every day, but thankfully I had heroin to help me through it.

My dad always wanted me to be a millionaire and thankfully I didn't disappoint him.

He died before he got a chance to see how poor I am.

Thankfully joke, My dad always wanted me to be a millionaire and thankfully I didn't disappoint him.

I fell off a 50 foot ladder today...

Thankfully I was only on the first step!

Thankfully, someone created an online resource for everyone who suffered retinal damage watching the solar eclipse.

It truly is a site for sore eyes.

Wife hanging from a rope.

I found my wife hanging from a rope in the attic. There was a note saying, "I really can't stand your criticsm any longer!" I quickly cut the rope and reanimated her. Thankfully I could bring her back to life. As she lay in my arms I could see her eyes slowly open and I said, "Come on, that's not how you spell criticism."


I once had a dream that I was swimming in an ocean of carbonated orange juice.

Thankfully it was just a fanta sea.

I accidentally washed my cameras memory card.

Thankfully it still works but now all my images are watermarked.

Thankfully in divorce court, there is always two winners!

The lawyers.

A friend told me he saw a black guy on a stolen bike getting hit by a train

I rushed home, afraid that it was mine.

But thankfully, mine was still in my basement shining my shoes.

A pun and a hyperbole walk into a bar.

As they enter, the hyperbole is frightened by a shifty looking non sequitur pacing outside the door. The pun just chuckles lightly and reassures the hyperbole (it can be a bit dramatic sometimes). They take their seats at the bar, and the hyperbole finally relaxes. For a moment it had seemed certain that the sketchy non sequitur was entering right behind them, but thankfully, it does not follow.

I burnt my hand on the barbecue.

Thankfully it was still edible

I walked into a test today......

I walked into a test today and realised I had left my whiteout in my house, so I quickly ran all the way home.

Thankfully, he was still in his cage.

My wife wanted to visit a jubilant psychic, and I wanted to see a jovial palm reader.

Thankfully, we managed to find a happy medium.

According to statistics one in three people live next to a paedophile

Thankfully I just live next to some really hot 11 year olds

My girlfriend always tells me that the one thing she won't tolerate is infidelity...

She would leave, no questions ask, if I ever cheated on her. Thankfully, my wife is a little more lenient.

I fell off a 50 ft ladder

Thankfully I was on the first rung. (this was on my school's TV monitors today)

My married friends say their "honey-do" lists run them ragged.

Thankfully I've already told the girlfriend I cantaloupe.

Started going to the gym and I dropped 10 pounds very quickly.

Thankfully the dumbbell missed my foot.

I fell off of a 20 foot ladder today at work.

Thankfully I was on the bottom step.

Although the cannibalism of the praying mantis may seem severe, it is thankfully brief. In other species, the female will slowly suck the life out of her partner over a period of decades.

This process is commonly called marriage.

A man cut off his finger at work

He called his wife and said honey, I just cut my finger off at work
She replied your whole finger?!
Thankfully no, the one next to it.

Little Mary asks her mother: Mum, why do people go to heaven with their legs up?

A tad bit confused, her mother replies: Mary, what do you mean by that?

Well , Mary says. This afternoon, I saw the maid laying on the kitchen table with her legs up. She was screaming: Oh God, oh Lord, I'm coming, I'm coming! Thankfully, daddy was laying right on top of her to stop her from going!

I was at a cafe when I had to fart. Thankfully there was loud music playing so I let it rip.

Turns out I was wearing ear buds.

When God integrated Planet Earth, he thankfully recalled his Calculus lesson.

He remembered to add the sea.

A group wearing tuxedos were sat down in a coffee shop, when a car suddenly smashed through the shop front.

Thankfully there were no casual teas

The President was injured in a Tornado.

Thankfully his spin-doctor was close by.

Sure was cold at the Super Bowl last night.

Thankfully there was no Brees though.

After having loud sex with my girlfriend, my father called me downstairs.

Thankfully by that time they were both dressed.

I was being chased by a criminal but thankfully I had some strawberry spread

I was able to jam the door shut

I went in to get a brain transplant..

..thankfully the surgeon managed to change my mind.

I'm a computer scientist and my life used to be a mess.

Thankfully, I was eventually able to get my life in order after nlog(n) attempts.

I wish I could show everyone out there how to do the same, but you have to be the right sort.

I had a rare condition growing up where I had to eat dirt 3 times a day.

Thankfully my brother told me, I could have died.

A guy tried to get me into an MLM plan for selling mini trees once.

Thankfully I realized before I joined that it was just a bonsai scheme.

Just read that Paddington Bear is very sick

Thankfully it isn't COVID-19...but it is a really bad case of marmal-AIDS.

Thankfully evolution gave us ears a million years ago...

Now we finally get to use them to wear masks.

You ever hear about the canine pilot from WWI?

He got into a dog fight but thankfully he shook his tail.

In serious news there was a kidnapping at the local school.

Thankfully the child woke up in time for lunch!

I grew up listening to music that demeaned women, glorified violence and normalized criminal behavior. I know it definitely influenced the culture around me.

Thankfully, I stopped listening to country music and found hip hop.

I bought three sniffer dogs, to try and solve the drug problem in my area.

Thankfully, they managed to find me some.

My uncle woke up mid-surgery

Thankfully the patient was still sleeping

A man opens the bonnet

of his VW Beetle. His jaw drops - "Oh my god, someone stole my engine!"

Then he goes round the back and opens the trunk. "Phew, thankfully I have a spare."

My wife and I just finished watching all of The Office back to back...

Thankfully I was the one facing the telly.

I used to have a shower addicition...

Thankfully, I'm 4 months clean now!

I once woke up mid surgery.

Thankfully the patient was still asleep.

It's going to be ok...

Yesterday I ended up in the hospital. Tripped over a box of Kleenex. Thankfully it was only tissue damage.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the thankfully miraculously jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working thankfully safety piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes