Than Jokes

Share These Than Jokes With Friends

Than Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.

What is a good than joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.

Share These Than Jokes With Friends

Better Than Jokes

Here is a list of funny better than jokes and even better better than puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Steve Jobs would've been a better president than Trump. But I guess comparing apples to orange is unfair.
  
• My son kept chewing on electrical chords, so I grounded him... He's doing better currently and conducting himself properly.
• Steve jobs would have been a better president than Donald Trump. But it's a silly comparison really, it's like comparing apples to oranges.
• Steve Jobs would have made a better president than Donald Trump... But that's comparing apples to oranges.
• Got my girlfriend a "get better soon" card She isn't sick, I just think she can get better
• My girlfriend told me women are better at multitasking than men. So I told her to sit down and shut up. Guess what... She couldn't do either!
• I used to be Christian.... Her: I used to be Christian.
  Him: It's all right, I don't really care for those sorts of things.
  Her; Thank god! It's so much better now that I'm Christine!
• A man crosses the mexican border seeking better living conditions for his family. Then his constituency calls for him to resign as a senator from Texas.
• After a long debate with my Wife, I decied that we won't Vaccine our kids We think the doctor would do a way better job than us
• What's better than enchiladas? n+1 chiladas.
  (sharing this joke I came up with tonight while making enchiladas, because my family didn't find it funny).

You Have More Excuses Than Jokes

Here is a list of funny you have more excuses than jokes and even better you have more excuses than puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• When I was a kid, my parents would always say "Excuse my french" after a swear word... ...I'll never forget that first day at school when the teacher asked did we know any french.
• International women's day should not be used as an excuse for sexist jokes Period.
• When I was a kid adults would use swear words then apologise by saying 'Excuse my French'. I still remember my first day at school when the teacher asked "Does anyone know any French?"
• Don't give me excuses, I wrote the book on excuses! Well, I started to, I mean, Its hard, and I got a lot to do...
• A man walks into a library... And he asks "Excuse me, is The Big Book of Turtles in?"
  "Hard back?"
  "Yeah, with little heads"
• An old woman stopped me and asked "Excuse me, can you show me how to get to the hospital"?
  I said "No problem"
  Then I pushed her under a bus
• My dad would swear and then say, "Excuse my French" One day the teacher asked if anyone could speak a foreign language and I raised my hand.
• International womens day is not an excuse for low effort sexist jokes. Period.
• I returned to my hotel after an evening of drinking, so I went to the front desk. Excuse me, I don't remember what room I'm in. I said. No problem, said the receptionist. You're in the lobby.
• I went to buy some condoms today, and I said to the pharmacist, 'Excuse me, I need some condoms.' He said, 'Just a minute.'
  And I said, 'Yep, that's my brand.'

Older Than Jokes

Here is a list of funny older than jokes and even better older than puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• As I get older and remember all the people I've lost along the way, I think to myself... maybe a career as a tour guide wasn't for me.
  
• When you are born you actually have 4 kidneys. But as you get older, two of them turn into adult knees
• My parents named me after my older brother. And before my younger brother.
• As a child I was obsessed with the difference between cosine and sine As I got older I realized it was just a phase
• I was named after my older brother. And before my younger brother.
• I was walking past a homeless man when he yelled, "Stephen King is my older brother and he stole the ideas for all his novels from me!" I replied, "Surely you must be joe."
• What is matthew mcconaughey' least favorite part of interstellar? "The girls get older, but he stays the same age"
  -first attempt at a original joke (apologies if its a repost that I'm unaware of)
• As I get older I remember all the people I've lost along the way I think to myself, maybe a career as a tour guide wasn't for me.
• My dentist mocked me today, saying that even though he's much older than me, he has healthier teeth. I said it must be because he has the better dentist.
• As I grow older, I remember all the people I lost along the way... Maybe being a tour guide wasn't such a great idea after all.

Faster Than Jokes

Here is a list of funny faster than jokes and even better faster than puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• When you live alone, the only thing that wakes you up faster than a cold toilet seat Is a warm toilet seat
• Did you hear that the US bobsled team put Donald Trump's picture on the front of the sled? Apparently nobody else can make America go downhill faster.
• If light travels faster than the speed of sound... how come I can hear the guy in the BMW behind me honk before the light turns green?
• Bruce Lee was fast, but he had an even faster brother… Sudden Lee
• I painted my computer black so it would run faster. Now it doesn't work.
  Then I painted my computer white so it would work.
  Now the whole system is corrupt.
• Painted my computer black hoping it would run faster... Now it just doesn't work.
• What is faster than a calculator? A Calcu-now.
• I had a racing snail, I thought it would be faster if I removed it's shell... It only made it more sluggish.
• Tuna must age about five times faster than humans. This is supported by the fact that tuna half-hours are equal to 150 minutes.
• I entered a my pet snail into a race and removed its shell thinking it would make it faster... Unfortunately, it only made it more sluggish.