Thai Jokes

What are some Thai jokes?

A guy sits down on a bench next to a Thai kid wearing soccer cleats.

"So, who are you rooting for in the World Cup Final?" the man asks, noticing the soccer gear.

"I don't know, who's playing?" the boy answers.

"Jesus Christ, have you been under a rock or something?"

I was sitting on a train next to a hot Thai girl.

I thought to myself "Please don't get an erection, please don't get an erection."

But.....she did.

I'm glad the cave rescue is complete....

Now when I google Thai boys I can get back to normal results

I was sitting next to this really hot Thai girl on the bus and all I could think to myself was, "Don't get an erection, don't get an erection"...

But she did

I had a race with an Asian today

It was a Thai

I was sitting on a train yesterday and saw this stunningly beautiful Thai girl.

I thought to myself, Please don't get an erection, Please don't get an erection . But she did.

Saw a beautiful Thai woman on the train today...

kept thinking, don't get an erection, don't get an erection, don't get an erection, but then she did.

Hot Thai girl

I was sitting opposite a really hot Thai girl on the train this morning.

I thought to myself, "Please don't get an erection, Please don't get an erection."

But she did.

Four men walk into an upmarket bar...

One is Malaysian, one Laotian, one Burmese and the other Vietnamese. As they walk in, the doorman stops them and says, "sorry gentlemen, I can't let you in without a Thai."

I was sucking off my new Thai bride, last night

When I thought.. "Hang on a fuckin' minute"

When I heard the news that 12 Thai schoolboys had been rescued from underground...

I had to run home and make sure my basement was still padlocked.

"IT'S A BOY!" I shouted. "A BOY! I DON'T BELIEVE IT, IT'S A BOY!"

And with tears streaming down my face, I swore I'd never visit another Thai Brothel...

I broke up with my Thai girlfriend today.

She was a little bit too cocky for my taste.

A man is in bed with his Thai girlfriend. [NSFW]

After having great sex, she spends the next hour just stroking his goods, something she had lovingly done on many occasions. Rather enjoying it, he turns and asks her, 'Why do you love doing that?' She replies: 'Because I really miss mine'

Is my Thai girlfriend a trap?

Something deep inside me says yes

I used to by my dad a neck tie on father's day, but now I buy him an Asian hooker.

It's better to buy a Thai that he'll actually use.

Hey girl are you a Thai cave?

Cuz I want to put 12 kids in you

I keep making racist jokes about my dad and his Thai bride. He finds it very annoying…

..and so does my dad.

Did you hear about that boxer who adopted a child from Asia?

It's Mike's Thai Son.

Do you know what Elon Musk could've called his submarines if they were built in time to save those children?

Thai Pods.

'It's a boy!', I shouted.....

.. and at that moment, I regretted visiting a Thai brothel.

I got on the bus and sat down next to this really sexy Thai chick.

All I could think to myself was "Please don't get an erection, please don't get an erection." And then she did.

I sat next to this attractive Thai girl on the train...

I kept thinking *don't get an erection*,*don't get an erection*, but she did.

The difference if you marry a Canadian girl...

Three friends married women from different parts of the world...

The first man married a Greek girl. He told her that she was to do the dishes and house cleaning.

It took a couple of days, but on the third day, he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away.

The second man married a Thai. He gave his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking.

The first day he didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done, and there was a huge dinner on the table.

The third man married a girl from Canada. He ordered her to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, laundry washed, and hot meals on the table for every meal.

He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything either but by the third day, some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye and his arm was healed enough that he could fix himself a sandwich and load the dishwasher.

He still has some difficulty when he pees.

Who holds the record for longest time trapped in a cave with a soccer team?

It's a Thai

Two asians ran a race..

It was a Thai.

What did the businessman wear to the thai restaurant?

A plaid tie.

Free sex tonight

At a travel agency in Bangkok, I asked the Thai girl behind the counter if she could escort me on a city tour and asked her for her mobile number so I could call her to make arrangements.

She gave me a big smile, nodded her head and said,

"Sex sex sex, wan free sex for tonight".

I replied, "Wow, you Thai women are really hospitable!"

A guy standing next to me who had overheard our conversation tapped me on the shoulder and said,

"Don't get too excited. What she really said was: 666136429."

A Hot Thai Nurse

After experiencing the discomfort and embarrassment of a prostate test on the National Health Service in the UK, a friend of mine decided to have his next test carried out while visiting Thailand where the beautiful nurses are rather more gentle and accommodating.


As usual he was asked to strip off, he lay naked on his side on the bed and the nurse began the examination.


"At this stage of the procedure it's quite normal to get an erection" said the nurse.


"I haven't got an erection" said the man.


"No, but I have" replied the nurse.

I sat next to a smoking-hot thai woman on an aeroplane once...

I thought to myself.... *"please don't get an erection, please don't get an erection...."*


And then she did.

"It's a boy!"

I shouted, as I ran from the Thai brothel.

When I was in Thailand I had a driver that ran through all the red lights.

I got mad at him but he said he was a professional driver. When he stopped at a green light I asked why, and he said Just in case there are other professional drivers out there

How do you know when a Thai woman likes you?

She gets an erection

My friend wasn't sure which Asian restaurant he liked better

He said it was a Thai.

In the 18th century, a hopeful Asian laborer landed in America and went straight to the employment office.

He didn't speak a word of English, and the men at the employment office couldn't figure out where he was from. They took a vote to see if he was Chinese or Japanese.

It was a Thai.

Now that all the Thai boys were rescued, we can now joke about the situation.

But please, one at a time.

Do you know who holds the world record for time spent in a cave?

It turns out it's actually a Thai

Now that Brazil is out of the World Cup they should go help the Thai kids stuck in that cave...

After all they're the world's most talented divers.

When you marry it is important to patience to see the results....

Three friends married women from different parts of the world.....


The first man married a nice girl from Timbucktu. He told her that she was to do the dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple of days, but on the third day, he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away.


The second man married a Thai. He gave his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. The first day he didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done, and there was a huge dinner on the table.



The third man married a girl from Ireland . He ordered her to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed, and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything either but by the third day, some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye and his arm was healed enough that he could fix himself a sandwich and load the dishwasher. He still has some difficulty when he pees.

After a hard and long night's wait, he finally broke down to his knees and began to cry "It's a boy! it's a boy!"

..he was too emotionally drained to leave the Thai brothel.

What kind of tie is best to wear in a fight?

Muay Thai

Who won the Asian cooking contest?

It was a Thai!

I saw a Thai girl on the bus. I told myself, Don't get an erection, don't get an erection, don't get an erection...

But she did.

What's the difference between Elon Musk and Jared the Subway guy?

Elon wanted to put Thai boys into small objects, Jared wanted to put small objects into Thai boys.

Somebody should've told Logan Paul the Thai kids in the cave had died.

He would have found them in no time.

My friend opened a mexican-thai fusion bar.

Named Thai Juan On.

Did you hear about the race between Cambodia and Burma?

It was a Thai.

I keep making jokes about my dads new Thai bride. He's getting pretty sick of them.

My dads getting sick of them too.

I was making fun of my Dad's new Thai bride, and he wasn't too happy about it.

My dad wasn't too pleased either.

Yeah, it's cool that the Thai kids were rescued.

They're just not as entertaining as they were when they first got trapped and not too many people knew them. I guess you could say I liked them more when they were underground.

My Thai girlfriend is so generous

She gave me a pearl necklace.

Who won the cooking competition between the two Asians?

It was a Thai.

The Thai Girl

One day, I decided to take a bus to work for a change. Seated across the aisle from me was a beuatiful thai girl. I thought to myself, "please don't get an erection".

But she did.

A Filipino, a Korean, a Laotian, a Chinese, a Japanese and a Vietnamese go to a fancy restaurant. "Sorry" says the Maitre d' ...

"You can't be seated without a Thai."

Made in Thailand

Have you heard of the mountain climber from Bangkok?

He became famous as the Thai of the Eiger.

~

Who won the election for mayor of Bangkok?

It was a Thai.

I heard the last two kids rescued raced eachother to the end of the cave...

Rescuers reported the race ended in a Thai.

As an armchair pundit, I can't help thinking the Thai team would have escaped sooner

If they'd made better use of their subs

I was going to work this morning and sat across from a really hot Thai girl on the train. I kept blushing and sweating and thinking "Please don't get a hard-on".

But she did.

What's the difference between Thai kids and American kids?

Thai kids are trapped by water.

American kids are trapped by ICE.

A friend went for Thai massage in Bangkok recently.

A friend went for Thai massage in Bangkok recently. He requested for two masseurs, one for him and another for his wife.

After massaging the man for a long time, the Thai massuer said, "Massage pinis". He kept ghastly quiet pretending not to have heard it.

Again, the massuer repeated herself, "Massage pinis". Again he kept quiet, turned his face away from wife and gave a cheeky smile.

Then the wife shouted across, "How many times do you need her to repeat? She said massage has finished!!

When the little boys stuck in that cave in Thailand are rescued, there's definitely gonna be a movie. There's a ex US Navy Seal helping. They're gonna make the movie all about him

and have Scarlett Johansen playing one of the Thai boys.

It is taking much longer to rescue the boys trapped in the Thai cave.

All the diving experts are participating in the World Cup in Russia.

TIFU by sitting next to a really hot Thai chick on the bus home today

and kept thinking, "Don't get an erection, don't don't don't..."

But she did.

Had a bet going with a friend over who would be the first to get those kids out of that cave, Elon Musk or the Navy SEALs...

...He said Elon Musk, I said it would be a Thai.

what do you eat at a formal event in thailand?

black thai curry

I hate arguing with my friends on which Asian restaurant to eat at.

We always end in a Thai

Which is the best Asian food, Vietnamese or Chinese?

It's a Thai.

What's the difference between the Thai cave boys and English football?

The boys are coming home

Unlike my other girlfriends, my new Thai girlfriend is really into me.

about four inches into me to be precise.

Why can no one win at the Bangkok Olympics ?

Because it's always a THAI game.

It's a good thing my new Thai girlfriend doesn't have an issue with small penises.

I just wish she didnt have one.

On the train in Bangkok....

...a young, long-haired, busty Thai sat down directly opposite me & started putting on lipstick.

I thought to myself, "Please don't get an erection, please don't get an erection, please don't get an erection."

But he did.

An Englishman, Scottishman, Irishman, Welshman, Frenchman, Russian, Spaniard, Mexican, American, Norweigan, Swede, Albanian, Italian, Indian, Moroccan, Dutchman, Brazilian, Kenyan, Australian and Belgian walk into a bar.

The barman says; "You can't come in here without a Thai."

What type of sushi does Bob Seger like?

That Old Thai Moroccan Roll.

The Thai rescue divers were given tight trunks to wear as they maneuvered through the narrow caves

So they wouldn't Bangkok.

How to make Thai jokes?

We have collected gags and puns about Thai to have fun with. Do you want to stand out in a crowd with a good sense of humour joking about Thai? If Yes here are a lot more hilarious lines and funny Thai pick up lines to share with friends.

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