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Texting Jokes

90 texting jokes and hilarious texting puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about texting that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Do you want to text some laughs to your friends? Check out our collection of the best texting jokes to make sure every conversation with your boyfriend, best friend, or even your parents ends in a smile! From April Fools pranks to inside jokes, there is something for everyone! So what are you waiting for? Get ready to send those SMS, FML, and upload some laughs of your own!

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Popular Texting Short Jokes

Short texting jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The texting humour may include short text message jokes also.

  1. In Britain, when you turn 100, you get a letter from the Queen. And when you turn 16, you get a text from Prince Andrew.
  2. When I drink alcohol, people call me alcoholic. But when I drink fanta, no one calls me or texts me, I'm so lonely, pls help.
  3. My girlfriend just text me, 'thespacebuttonisbrokenonmyphonecanyoupleasegivemeanalternative' Anybody know what 'ternative' means?
  4. One spelling mistake can completely ruin your marriage I accidentally texted my wife I'm having a wonderful time. I wish you were her.
  5. My girlfriend texted me "helpmyspacebarbrokecanyoucomeoverandgivemeanalternative" Anybody know what "ternative" means?
  6. I happily dad joked my fiancé While on her way to work, she texted me saying she only put deodorant on one side.
    To which I replied, "At least you won't smell half bad!"
  7. I saw a lady texting and driving today I was furious. I rolled down my window, and threw my beer at her.
  8. My gf texted me "myspacebuttonisbrokenonmyphonecanyoupleasegivemeanalternative" Do any of you know what "ternative" means?
  9. Met a cute guy at the bar, gave him my number and told him to text me when he got home I guess he's homeless.
  10. I've been talking to a 13 year old girl for about 2 weeks now We've been texting a lot lately and she just told me she's an undercover cop, that's quite impressive for her age.

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Texting One Liners

Which texting one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with texting? I can suggest the ones about texted and chatting.

  1. My friend text me 'what are you doing now?' I replied 'Probably failing my driving test'.
  2. Told a girl to text me when she got home. She must be homeless.
  3. A hot girl texted me "Come over, no one's home" So i went over...
    And no one's home
  4. The creator of predictive text died today His funfair is next monkey
  5. The inventor of predictive text has died. His funfair will be hello on Sundial.
  6. Drive safe I saw a driver texting and driving.
    It made me so mad I threw my beer at him.
  7. The guy who invented predictive text died last night... his funfair is next monkey
  8. I texted my girlfriend Ruth and told her it was over. I'm Ruthless.
  9. I always leave my phone on vibrate I like the text massages
  10. My math text book got recalled We were told it had too many problems
  11. Who is this Amber person… and why does she keep texting everybody about my cars?
  12. When she texts "I Love You"... but Auto-correct changes it to "who is this"
  13. I love girls who text first Mom you're the real MVP
  14. My DR sent me a text. I read;
    "What blod type are you?"
    I replied "Typo".
  15. how does a roman laugh when he's texting? lol 490

Texting And Driving Jokes

Here is a list of funny texting and driving jokes and even better texting and driving puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • On my way home from work saw a man texting while driving.. Knowing how dangerous this can be I pulled up next to him, rolled down my window and threw my beer at him.
  • I hate when I'm driving and I see people text and drive. It makes me want to throw my beer can at them.
  • What is it with people who text and drive? I swear to god the next time I see this happen, I'll roll down my window and throw my beer at them.
  • Yesterday I saw a girl driving next to me while texting on her phone... I was so disgusted by her irresponsible driving that I rolled down my window and threw my beer at her.
  • So I was driving home from work tonight, I saw a woman texting whilst driving. It infuriated me so much I threw my beer bottle at her car.
  • Some idiot was texting and driving and rear ended my car. It spilled my beer all over the place.
  • I almost got into an accident with someone who was texting and driving... luckily I braked just in time or else I would've spilt my beer.
  • I've had it with people texting and driving. if i see one more person on their phone while driving im going to roll my window down and throw my beer at them.
  • A lot of people text while driving. I'm not excusing it, but we've all done things we regret while we're drunk.
  • Text and drive? Oh cell no

Texting Driving Jokes

Here is a list of funny texting driving jokes and even better texting driving puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • They say 3 out of 4 people text and drive Not me; I watch YouTube videos.
  • I refuse to text and drive... I always end up spilling my beer.
  • Saw a "Don't Text and Drive" sign on my way into work today. Good thing I took a second to look up from my phone, otherwise I may have missed it.
  • A lady cut me off... The other day a lady cut me off who was texting while driving. I got so mad at her I pulled up beside her and threw my beer can at her.
  • I was driving down the highway today and saw a woman in the lane next to me reading a novel while driving I was so angry that I stopped texting and flipped her off
  • I get so mad every time I see someone texting and driving One of these days I'm going to throw my beer at their car!
  • I saw a women texting and driving in the lane next to mine... Incensed, I rolled my window down and threw my beer at her.
  • They banned texting while driving in my state... ...Now I read books and practice juggling.
  • I need to stop texting while driving It's really hurting my golf game.
  • A man is texting and driving in his ford By doing so he crashed and the car is totalled.
    You could say he lost his focus.
Texting joke, A man is texting and driving in his ford

Texting joke, A man is texting and driving in his ford

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about texting can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of texting puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Cheerful Fun Texting Jokes for Lovely Laughter

What funny jokes about texting you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean cellphone jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make texting prank.

A cop gave me a ticket for texting and driving.

But I got out of it because I could prove I was just taking a picture of my c**....

Real Middle-aged Texting.

Man: "Fair maiden, wherest doth thou reside on this fair evening?"
Woman: "Good sir, I am trapped within the reside of mine parents"
Man: "Oh, mine love, how I wish mineself were trapped in thine reside so I could bury my face deep within thine bossom."
Woman: "Mine parents shall rest in the hour next. Upon that time, I shall make mine escape, and help you polish your sword."
Man: "Mine sword shall stand in waiting for thine touch."

Text to gf

I was texting my gf today and said "I don't expect to see you much tonight."
She replied, "I do."
To which I said, "Well that's cause there are mirrors everywhere these days."
Took her a second.

The girl next to me in tragic was texting and driving

so I rolled down my window and threw my beer at her.

Texting messages on the cell phone at 12 midnight ...

- How are you baby?
- I am in bed and thinking about you … And you my dear?
- I am at a club … And sitting right behind you!!

I've been texting this cute dyslexic girl.

I think she likes me, but she keeps sending mixed message.

How can you tell if you're texting with a dyslexic pervert?

You get this: ===D==8=

My friend asked me why I care about using encrypted texting services...

I don't, really. It's about sending a message.

Texting while driving is incredibly s**... and dangerous

You're practically begging for typos.

Bill Clinton right now, texting Monica Lewinsky "You up?"

How do you get a woman to stop texting you?

Reply to her message within a minute

My brother dropped this on me the other day.

Me (Texting): "I stopped by your apartment. Where are you?"
Bro : "My friend called me to watch Sharktank at his place. And for that reason, I'm out."

As we waited for a bus in the frosty weather, the woman next to me mentioned that she makes a lot of mistakes when texting in the cold...

I nodded knowingly. It's the early signs of typothermia.

After s**... time, the man receives a text message. The woman asks "Who's texting?"

He replies "My wife. She says she's at the movies with you."

I was texting on my phone and accidentally rear ended someone this morning...

We Pulled into a residential area, the guy got out of his car and lo' and behold, he's a dwarf. He said, "I am NOT happy!!!" I said, "Well then which one are you?"

What is a pickup line you would use on someone who loves texting?

Talk qwerty to me

Two exes are texting..

Male Ex: Just ate a fish taco; it reminded me of you.
Female Ex: What a coincidence, because I ordered a pizza and it came in 20 seconds. It reminded me of you.

A robot steals your job. It hurts, but that's how the economy works. Nothing personal.

The robot starts texting your wife...

Slow typing...

After 25 years... I was chatting with my classmate -my childhood crush online. She asked me why am I typing so slow. I said because my other hand isn't free.
She's not replying anymore.
Lesson learnt
-Never smoke while texting..

Why was Anthony Wiener crying after his sentencing?

He was happy because when he gets out the girl he was texting will finally be 18.

I tried texting with gloves and it just wouldn't work...

So I went back to texting with a phone.

Once a driver texting and driving & getting accident.

I have been texting this girl and she just dropped the news that shes a vegetarian.

Bummer. I didn't even get to meat her.

Save Money on phone s**... lines

...by texting filth to your landline and have the BT woman read it to you at a fraction of the cost.

Internal note from Department Head to all employees

Dear Employees,
We do get to know when you are texting during meetings. Seriously, nobody looks at their private parts and smile.

Middle age texting..

I was texting a suicidal friend and haven't heard back...

I figure no news is good news.

I saw a girl and I wrote my number on a dollar.

I went to her and I dropped the dollar then I said: "Sorry to bother you, but this dropped from you."
But the s**... girl went and bought a sandwich with the dollar.
The problem is not here, but the problem is that the sandwich seller is texting me till midnight saying: "Did you love the sandwich beautiful?"

I was texting this new s**... coworker, and my autocorrect accidentally made me send "I'd like to have s**... with you on Tuesday."

I meant to say Thursday.

Batman walks into a bar

Finds Joker having some drinks and texting on his iPhone.
Feels bad that he couldn't bring his batmobile with him.

Me and a friend were walking in the park

He pulled out his phone and started texting. I told him Man, your looking a bit down.
He responded No I'm not!
Then he walked into a branch

Sometimes, telling the truth is not the best way

like texting your gf "u r my favr8 gf" in the morning

Just remember, son

When you text a girl, you are also texting at least 5 of her friends.

What does Sting call texting?

Sending out an SMS

My girlfriend says she's going to leave me because I exaggerate things way too much

But what do I care? I literally have a million girls texting me daily.

Girl:Don't you think it's funny how the person you're going to marry is on this earth as of right now?

Boy:Yeah, haha. That's weird.
Girl:Don't you ever wonder what they're doing?
Boy:Nope, I already know, she's texting me
Girl::Thats sweet of you.
Boy:But she just went to bed. So I'm talking to you

A man crashes his car

When the cops arrive on the scene , he is protesting loudly that it's this woman's fault. Officer, she was texting on her phone and drinking a beer!
The officer replied Sir, she can do whatever she wants in her living room .

Texting joke, Who is this Amber person…

jokes about texting

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these texting jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.