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Textbook Jokes

45 textbook jokes and hilarious textbook puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about textbook that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Textbook Short Jokes

Short textbook jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The textbook humour may include short book and author jokes also.

  1. A mathematician, a college professor, and a textbook author walk into a bar. *[The punchline is left as an exercise for the reader.]*
  2. Campus bookstore robbed The Campus bookstore was just robbed of $25000. The criminal was seen taking a sweatshirt and 4 textbooks
  3. Why is the last chapter in a chemistry textbook about benzene? Because it's the PHENYL CHAPTER :D
    I came up with this myself. I'm so proud.
  4. Did you hear about the poor chap who got smashed in the head by a grammar textbook? He remains in a comma.
  5. My university lecturer makes all of his students buy his book at the beginning of the term. It's textbook economics.
  6. I want my boyfriend to treat me like a textbook spend a lot of money on me and then never touch me after
  7. I was dating a math textbook for a while. Things have been kind of rough lately, and last night I decided to break it off. There were just too many problems.
  8. I just got my math textbook for College Trig, and it's a little emo It's called *I Write Sines Not Trajectories*
  9. Fun fact: Having friends gives you memory loss. I read this in a textbook on page 53 at 4:37 PM on Friday May 12, 2006
  10. I found a discount code hidden in the pages of my economics textbook Now that's a marginal benefit

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Textbook One Liners

Which textbook one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with textbook? I can suggest the ones about bible and children book.

  1. $2.1 million worth of textbooks were stolen the other day All eight books were recovered.
  2. How do you hide money from a Republican? Put it in a science textbook.
  3. I pirated an ethics textbook. I'll find out if I did the right thing soon enough.
  4. What did the psychology textbook say to the math textbook? You've got problems!
  5. Why is my algebra textbook so sad? It has a lot of problems.
  6. The podiatry textbook used footnotes while the proctology textbook used endnotes.
  7. Why do math textbooks only ever give you one angle in a triangle? Just cos.
  8. Muslims are spreading their religion to the roots of society Textbook Radicle Islam.
  9. If you have 99 problems… …you're a math textbook.
  10. I just bought $400 in textbooks. God knows how much the second page will cost.
  11. Are you a math textbook? Because you're a lot of problems!
    (Not mine, I heard it)
  12. Hey, man, are you full of problems? Cause you're a math textbook
  13. A mathematician and a textbook reader walk into a bar.
  14. My really old textbook fell apart today. It was bound to happen.
  15. I littered the street with my textbooks, Education.

Textbook joke, I littered the street with my textbooks,

Rib-Tickling Textbook Jokes that Bring Friends Together

What funny jokes about textbook you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean cookbook jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make textbook pranks.

The year is 2540, a student notices something odd about his history book

How come these textbooks skip the years 1990 through 1999? He asks
The teacher puts down his marker, lowers his head and sighs.
Because... he lifts his head, a single tear rolls down his cheek, ...only 90's kids remember the 90's

A guy carrying a backpack gets stopped by the police on suspicion of terrorism..

The police officer asks him to let him check his backpack. The guy obliges. In his backpack, the officer finds some textbooks, a calculator, a compass and a ruler.
"Aha!", shouts the policeman, "as I suspected. You are under arrest!"
"But why?" the guy protests.
"You have been caught in procession of weapons of math instruction!"

It always shocks me when people say republicans are anti-communists

With trying to make abortions i**..., get rid of birth control, defund planned parenthood, those all are textbook examples of seizing the means of reproduction.

The Age Factor

(Taken from Reader's Digest Year:1998)
Even though she's been teaching English for 25 years, my mother never felt her age was an issue, until the day she helped a student with a report on the Vietnam War. Mom recognised the name of a war correspondent mentioned in the textbook and blurted, "I used to date him!"
Peering up from his work, another wide-eyed student asked, "You dated someone from our history book?"

A guy carrying a backpack gets stopped by the Police on suspicion of terrorism

A guy carrying a backpack gets stopped by the Police on suspicion of terrorism.
The Police officer asks him to let him check his backpack. The guy obliges.
In his backpack, the officer finds some textbooks, a calculator, a compass and a ruler.
"Aha!", shouts the policeman, "as I suspected. You are under arrest!"
"But why?" the guy protests.
"You have been caught in possession of weapons of maths instruction!"

A man goes to the doctor and he says "Doctor, Doctor you've got to help me...

A man goes to the doctor and he says "Doctor, Doctor you've got to help me, I can't stop singing what's new p**..."
The doctor says "Seems like a textbook case of Tom Jones syndrome"
The man says "Well, what is it? Is it rare"
And the doctor goes "Well, It's not unusual"

Today, in math class,

I had the urge to f**.... I had the bright idea that if I dropped my textbook and f**... at the same time, nobody would hear it. I dropped my textbook, everyone looked at me, then I f**....
Loudly.

My Girlfriends asked me why the Body cells go through Meiosis and why her textbook sexualized them.

I replied "s**... Cells."

I want a textbook wedding.

One that costs way too much and is of no use to me later in life.

I beat up some people with an algebra textbook and was arrested

I was charged with using a Weapon of Math Instruction
(Hoping this is somewhat original)

Its the year 2500 and students are in history.

A student asks the teacher why is there a gap in the textbook between 1990 and 1999 and the teacher answers because only 90's kids remember.

My ex is like a McGraw-Hill textbook

She's impossible to understand and has way too many problems

Textbook joke, My ex is like a McGraw-Hill textbook