JokoJokes

Text Message Jokes

72 text message jokes and hilarious text message puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about text message that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Quick Jump To

Funniest Text Message Short Jokes

Short text message jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The text message humour may include short texting jokes also.

  1. What did the Irishman text his Wife? "Honey I'm down at the pub having a pint with the lads. Be home in about 30 min. If I'm not back by then please read this message again."
  2. My girlfriend told me I was one in a million My girlfriend told me I was one in a million. When I looked through her text messages, I had to admit she was right.
  3. I've been texting this cute dyslexic girl. I think she likes me, but she keeps sending mixed messages.
  4. I text my wife tonight, "Honey, I'm going to stay in the bar another hour with my friends for another pint..." "...if I'm not back in an hour then read this message again."
  5. A woman texted me with the message, "Your adorable." I texted back, "No. YOU'RE adorable."
    Now she's falling for me. I was only correcting her grammar.
  6. Last night I was thinking to myself "I wonder how much Google really knows about me?" But then my Android phone texted me the message "not much". So I feel better now.
  7. A woman is calling her cell provider... Woman: I don't get my text messages
    Tech support: Have you tried reading them again?
  8. My heart sank when i received a text from my gf " I can't take this anymore,let's break up " You can imagine the tears of joy I had when i received a follow up message
    "Sorry ,wrong number"
  9. Historians have discovered that human rights activist Malcolm X was actually just called Malcolm He was rather affectionate at the end of his text messages.
  10. Texting messages on the cell phone at 12 midnight ... - How are you baby?
    - I am in bed and thinking about you … And you my dear?
    - I am at a club … And sitting right behind you!!

Share These Text Message Jokes With Friends




Text Message One Liners

Which text message one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with text message? I can suggest the ones about texted and message.

  1. How do you get a woman to stop texting you? Reply to her message within a minute
  2. Sorry, my dog ate your text message.
  3. Why did the mob boss write an abusive text? To send a message.
  4. What did the pasta sauce text message the chef? Noods?
  5. What do you call a rude text message? A disrespext.
  6. Chuck Norris can hear your text messages.
  7. What was Jesus's first text message? NEW TESTAMENT WHO DIS?
  8. What's an SMS message's favorite kind of food? Text-Mex
  9. My asian girlfriend made me mad so I replied in text message with.. -_-
  10. Funny SMS / Text Messages
  11. Sorry I missed your text message last night; I was out looting.
  12. Send Text Messages From your PC with Mobogenie Hi

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about text message can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of text message puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Cheeky Text Message Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle

What funny jokes about text message you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean phone call jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make text message prank.

My voicemail message is just instructions on how to send a text message with brief pauses filled with heavy sighing.

Why call someone when you can just decide where you and your friend want to meet by exchanging 76 text messages?

My wife texted "I'm leaving you"

And followed with "after lunch to go shopping with my sister."
I asked why in the world she sent the message that way. "I just wanted you to realize how good you have it with me."
I texted her back "Remind your sister she said she would come over later to give me a h**..."
A minute later I finished the message "-searching and resume building."

Don't forget capital letters...

In the world of high-tech gadgetry, more and more people who send text messages and emails have forgotten the art of capital letters.
For those of you who fall into this category, please take note of the following statement:
"Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle j**... a horse, and helping your uncle j**... a horse."

How many of you love your husbands??


There was a group of women gathered at a seminar on how to live in a loving relationship with your husband.
The women were asked, 'How many of you love your husbands?'
All the women raised their hands.
Then they were asked, 'When was the last time you told your husband you loved him?'
Some women answered today, some yesterday, some didn't remember.
The women were then told to take their cell phones and send the following text: "I love you, sweetheart."
Then the women were told to exchange phones and read the responding text messages.
Here are some of the replies:
1. Who is this ???
2. Ah, mother of my children, are you sick ?
3. I love you too !!
4. What now ? Did you c**... the car again ?
5. I don't understand what you mean ?
6. What did you do now? I won't forgive you this time !
7. ?!?
8. Don't beat about the bush, just tell me how much you need?
9. Am I dreaming?
10. If you don't tell me who this message is actually for, someone will die.
11. I asked you not to drink anymore. I'll leave if you are tired of me !

she can't open windows.

On a cold winter morning, while her husband is away on business, a wife has a problem at home and sends a text message to her husband:
Windows frozen, it won't open
Husband texts back:
Pour boiling water over it inside and outside
Five minutes later, wife texts back.
Computer's really s**... up now...

The following text messages were exchanged on a cold winters day.

Wife: Windows frozen.
Husband: Pour some warm water over them.
Wife: Computer completely s**... up now.

Women Think Differently

Husband's Text Message by cell phone:
"Honey, got hit by car when I was out of office. Paula brought me to Hospital. They're doing tests and X-rays now. Blow to my head very strong, fortunately it didn't cause serious injury, but I have three broken ribs, a compound fracture in left leg, and they may have to amputate right foot.
Wife's Text Response by Cell Phone:
"Who's Paula?"

Please Advise?

An older couple had just learned how to send text messages on their new cell phones. The wife was the romantic type and the husband more of the no-nonsense type.
One afternoon the wife went out with some friends for coffee. Being the romantic women she was, she decided to send her husband a text to let him know she was thinking of him.
It read:
"If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you."
A couple minutes later the husband text back, "I'm on the toilet. Please advise."

An elderly couple had just learned how to text.

The wife was a romantic type and the husband was more of a no-nonsense guy.
One afternoon the wife went out to meet a friend for coffee. She decided to send her husband a romantic text message and she wrote:
"If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you."
The husband texted back to her:
"I'm on the toilet. Please advise."

Frozen...

Text Message from Wife:
Windows frozen. Won't Open.
Husband:
Pour lukewarm water on window. Tap gently with hammer to free windows.
Wife:
Computer really messed up now. Nothing works.

The Way Women Think

Husband's Message (by text):
"Darling, I got hit by a car outside the office. Paula brought me to the hospital. They have been doing tests and taking X-rays. The blow to my head though very strong, should not have any serious or lasting effect but, I have three broken ribs, a broken arm, a compound fracture of the left leg and they may have to amputate my right foot. Fingers crossed!"
Wife's Response:
"Who's Paula?"

My heart sank when I received the text message "I am breaking up with you. It's over between us" from my partner.

But "Sorry, wrong number baby" came afterwards. Whew, what a relief!

Why would anyone still use traditional sms text messages when you can just use WhatsApp, Facebook Messenger etc. for free?

It's not about the money. It's about sending a message!

I received a text message from an unknown number

"I'm sorry. It's not your fault. I met someone else. Please don't call me anymore!"
... Even other people's girlfriends are dumping me now

From an English Professor.

"In the world of hi-tech gadgetry , I've noticed that more and more people who send text messages and emails have long forgotten the practice of using capital letters.
The use of capitals , known as capitalization , is the difference between helping your Uncle j**... a horse, and helping your uncle j**... a horse.
Is everybody clear on that ?"

My friend asked me why I care about using encrypted texting services...

I don't, really. It's about sending a message.

A Roman receives a text message....

A Roman receives a text message and looks at it confused. "Why does it end with twenty?" he thinks to himself.

My brother in jail will send text messages

They're full of prison slang. I think he's trying to say he's sorry and he loves us but I just don't get the con text.

I thought about going to a psychic, but then I started having doubts and changed my mind

At that moment I received a text message that said "Well, that's too bad"

How do you get a Samsung owner to throw their phone out the window?

End your text with "this message will self destruct in 10 seconds"

Just received a text message...

Just received a text message telling me I've won a competition! The prizes are £500 cash or front row tickets to see an Elvis tribute act. I don't know if its a scam though?
It says to press 1 for the money and 2 for the show.

I tried to send my friend a text message about how my mobile carrier's reception deeply frustrates me, but it didn't work.

I resent it.

A woman gets a new number

She sends a text message to her husband.
W - "Hi honey, this is my new number. Can't wait to see you tonight"
M - "Hey babe. I can't tonight. I'm having dinner with my wife"

Wife and husband are in the living room.

She's doing stuff in her computer, while he's sitting on the couch typing on his phone.
At one point, wife's cellphone receives a message.
Her phone is charging in the kitchen, so she stands up from her desk and goes to the kitchen.
At the kitchen, she looks up her phone and see's a text message from her husband.
"Well, since you're in the kitchen, might as well make me a sandwich."

After s**... time, the man receives a text message. The woman asks "Who's texting?"

He replies "My wife. She says she's at the movies with you."

A guy, arriving at the hotel in his dream vacation, sends his wife an SMS but he accidentally mistyped her number...

...the text went to a widow, which had just attended to her husband f**....
When she read the message she instantly passed out. Here's the message:
"Hey, babe, this place is so peaceful. You're coming next week, I just made your reservation. I miss you so much. Bring light clothes cause the temperature here is hellish. Xoxo"

My mom sent her friend a gif via text message.

Said to my mother:"even moms are sending memes now days."
Mother said "its the memeing of life.

Beware of a new scam message going around

I just got a text message saying "Congratulations you are the winner of the Elvis tribute competition.
You have a choice of two prizes you can take,
Option 1 is £50.00
Option 2 is for 2 tickets to an Elvis tribute concert
To make your choice
text
1 for the money or 2 for the show
(disclaimer: stolen from my Facebook feed. Never seen this joke before and wanted to share)

There was a fight in the White House between the president and the First Lady

She said her text messages are always left on red.

Malcolm X chose that name because he didn't want to admit that he accidentally put a kiss at the end of his text message...

Just got a text message but I think it's a scam.....

It says congratulations you have won £500 or four tickets to an Elvis tribute act.
press one for the money, or two for the show.

Your wife is our hostage. You have 12 hours to send us one million dollars or we'll kill her!

Upon reading this text message, the husband responds...
My wife is actually sleeping right next to me, safe and sound but please tell me more about this deal, I may be interested.

I should send a text message to Voyager 1 satellite.

I am more likely to get a response from it than I do with human beings on Facebook and text messages.

A woman accuses her boyfriend of cheating after seeing incriminating text messages from another woman.

So the man says " Don't worry babe she is nothing but an afterthot."

I told my dad I was going for an eye test today

He texted me afterwards asking "How did it go?"
Two hours later I replied, "Sorry, I didn't see your message."

Irish text message to the wife

Mary, I'm just out for a pint with the lads, if I'm not back in 20 minutes, just read this message again

A man joins the mob and becomes the personal assistant to the Godfather

One day he receives a text message from the boss. "I've been having problems with my wife. Please pull the plug and then call someone in to take care of the matter."
The man knows better than to question the Godfather, so he dutifully carries out the command. He shoots the boss's wife, and then calls in the clean up crew.
But a short while later, he receives another message. "s**... autocorrect. I meant wifi."

A wife sent her husband a romantic text message…

 She wrote: If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you. Her husband texted back: I'm on the toilet, please advise.

My first one here.

Once there was an old lady who lived her life without having s**... ever. She was very proud of this achievement as the only one in the town where she lived.
While in her death bed she made a wish that this achievement of her be made public on her grave so she told someone to make her grave read as " born v**..., lived v**... and died v**...".
The sculptor who was suppose to make that text happen on her grave found the message to be long so he shortened it
"Parcel returned unopened".

jokes about text message

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these text message jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.