The Best 71 Terrorist Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Terrorist jokes. There are some terrorist pornography jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these terrorist jihad puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Terrorist Jokes and Puns

Did you hear the one about the Islamic terrorist?

Oh well, guess Jihad to be there

What do terrorists do on vacation?

They go waterboarding.

How do you tell the difference between a terrorist and a tenured professor?

You can negotiate with a terrorist.

Terrorist joke, How do you tell the difference between a terrorist and a tenured professor?

A plane gets hijacked by a couple of terrorists

The head terrorist is in the cockpit with the pilot. He demands that the pilot takes them to a free country or else the entire plane will blow up.

The pilot retorts: " This is an airliner, not a spaceship!"

What's the difference between a Jewish mother and a terrorist?

You can negotiate with terrorists.


How do terrorist surfers spend free time at Guantanamo Bay?

WATERBOARDING!!!

Terrorists hijack a plane flying into London. They tell everyone to raise their hands over their heads if they are British or American.

They wanted French people too but they already had their hands up.

Terrorist joke, Terrorists hijack a plane flying into London. They tell everyone to raise their hands over their hea

What did the terrorist that hijacked a jumbo-jet full of I.R.S. agents do?

How did Isis move from 5th wanted terrorist group to the most wanted terrorist group?

They cut a head

Where do terrorists go to get a bite to eat?

the Allahu snack-bar.

What's the difference between a muslim wedding and a terrorist training camp?

I don't know either, I'm just the drone pilot.

You can explore terrorist sexy reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean terrorist undercooked dad jokes. There are also terrorist puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Why do terrorist use Nokia phones?

so they can reuse the phone after the explosion

Once i did the "is your dad a terrorist?, because you are a bomb.." line to a muslim girl.

Totally blew up in my face

Why did the polar bear join the terrorist group.

Because that is where the ISIS.

What's the difference between a terrorist and a civilian?

I don't know man, I just fly the drones.

The Red Cross must be a terrorist group, everywhere they go there's a disaster.

Terrorist joke, The Red Cross must be a terrorist group, everywhere they go there's a disaster.

Terrorists have hijacked a plane filled with politicians...

They say they will release one politician per hour if their demands aren't met.

I had sex with a terrorist once.

She said I was the best Jihad.

Two terrorists having discussion in a bar...

The waiter asks them what the discussion was about?

Terrorist :- We are planning to kill 14 thousand people and a donkey..

Waiter :- Why a donkey?

Then one terrorist says to the other,
"See I told you nobody will care about the 14 thousand people


What's a terrorists favorite sex toy? [NSFW]

A blow up doll!

What do you call a terrorist in the North Pole?

An ISISicle!

Terrorists make the worst comedians.

They always bomb.

Whats the difference between a terrorist training camp and an orphanage?

I don't know I just fly the drone.

What do you call a monkey terrorist?

A Baboom!

Why don't terrorists shop at Walmart?

They prefer a Target.

Dark humor is like a terrorist attack...

the timing needs to be just right.

Two conspiracy theorists die and go to heaven.

They ask God who did 911. God replies, "It was perpetrated by members of the Islamic terrorist group Al Qaeda."

One whispers to the other, "Dude, this goes way higher than I thought."

I was arrested on my way to school today on suspicion of being a terrorist

Turns out I bombed the test

What's the most important part of a terrorist joke?

The execution. ( อกยฐ อœส– อกยฐ)

What's the difference between a terrorist cell and a children's hospital?

... Don't ask me man, I just fly the drones.

Two terrorists in a bar

Two terrorists discussing in a bar. The waiter finds their behavior suspicious so he comes to their table and asks: "What are you talking about?"

Terrorist: "We are planning to kill five hundered people and a goat."

Waiter: "Why a goat?"

The first terrorist says to the other: "See? I told you nobody will care about five hundered people."

Terrorists now have a brand new state of the art weapon that can be hidden in plain sight

The Galaxy Note 7

What's the difference between a lead guitarist and a terrorist?

You can actually negotiate with a terrorist.

What Did the Muslim Terrorist Say?

Who you gota blow to get some virgins around here?

Best explanation of Star Wars

The story of an orphaned boy who becomes radicalised after a military strike kills his family. He is indoctrinated into an ancient religion, joins a band of rebel insurgents, and carries out a terrorist attack which kills 300'000 people.

What do you call a terrorist with eight legs?

An Iraqnid.

A mathematician is afraid of flying

A mathematician is afraid of flying due to the small risk of a terrorist attack. So, on every flight he takes a bomb with his hand luggage. "The probability of having a bomb on a plane is very low", he reason, "and the probability of having two bombs on the same plane is virtually zero."

What's the difference between Muslim and a terrorist?

I don't know, I just sign executive orders.

I'll be here all week.

How many terrorists does it take to paint a house?

It depends on the force of the explosives.

Where do terrorists go when they die?

Every where.

A terrorist tells the suicide bomber they shouldn't attack the Statue of Liberty, because she's "too easy" ...

The bomber shrugs and replies "Eh, I'd still bang"

What do you call a french terrorist?

Napoleon Blown apart

There is a new terrorist religion that hates addition

The Tally Ban

What's the difference between a terrorist and a five year old?

I don't know, I just pilot the drone

A terrorist had two cases at home...

he stuffed one of them with explosives and headed to the metro. Once inside a wagon he waited until the doors were closed and shouted "Infidels!! now you will die!". Fortunately, that was not the case.

What do you get when you cross a terrorist and a Hawaiian food truck?

Aloha snack bar!

I'm sorry

I recently failed out of military school when I was asked what steps I would take to ensure my safety during a terrorist attack.

Apparently, 'Fucking large ones' wasn't the right answer.

Where do terrorists go for a drink?

At the Allahu-ak Bar

Terrorists have taken >500 hostages at the Bar Association annual conference

Unless their demands are met, they'll release one lawyer every hour.

What do you call a terrorist with Tourette's?

A ticking time bomb

A terrorist struck a local farm, setting off explosives inside the farmer's prized steer, blowing it to smithereens, but apparently committing no other mischief. The crime scene investigator had these words at the press conference...

"Abominable. Simply abominable."

What do terrorists and inflatable sex dolls have in common?

They both get blown up to be greeted by virgins.

A mathematician is afraid of flying because of the risk of a terrorist bombing it in mid air. So he takes a bomb in his hand baggage

"The probability of having a bomb on a plane is very low", he reason, "and the probability of having two bombs on the same plane is virtually zero.

Two terrorists were installing a bomb

One says to another what will happen if this one explodes while we are installing it?

The other responds:

Don't worry I'm carrying a spare

Terrorist holding dad at gunpoint-

Terrorist: "Say your last words!"

Dad: "Your last words!"

Terrorist: "What? ugh, you Americans. Be serious!"

Dad: "Okay, I'll be Sirius. Who are you going to be?"

Terrorist: "Stop. Why isn't this scaring your?"

Dad: "Nothing really scares me anymore; not since I saw that monster henway."

Terrorist: "What's a 'henway'"?

Dad: "About a pound and a half."

Terrorist: "Stop! I'm serious!"

Dad: "Hi Sirius! I'm Dad!"

Two terrorists are in a car, driving to bomb some place.

One had a bomb on his lap, the other was driving. The car went over a speed bumper too fast.

"Hey, watch it, Joe! You are gonna set this bomb off!"

"Relax, dude, we have a spare one in the trunk."

I found a terrorist!

....said no TSA agent ever

When I was in middle school, I was kidnapped by a terrorist organization.

Al-gebra.

A terrorist is teaching a class

He carefully puts on a jacket loaded with explosives and, turning to his pupils, says:

"Now watch carefully, because I'm only going to do this once!"

A mathematician is afraid of flying due to small risk of a terrorist attack. So, on every flight he takes a bomb with him in his hand luggage.

The probability of having two bombs on the same plane is virtually zero!

I accidentally started a worldwide terrorist organization.

I just didn't expect it to blow up so much

What do terrorists and masturbating in an airplane have in common?

Hijacking

Q: What is the difference between a teenager and a terrorist?

A: You can negotiate with a terrorist.

What's the difference between a school and a terrorist base?

I don't know, I'm just the drone pilot.

So a time traveler meets George W Bush...

Time Traveler: "What year is it?"

George Bush: "2001"

TT: "Before or after the 9/11 terrorist attack?"

GB: "Before"

Can you beat my top 3 Polish jokes?

>What's long and hard that a Polish bride gets on her wedding night?

A new last name

>Did you hear about the Polish carpool?

They meet at work in the morning

>Did you heal about the Polish terrorist that tried to blow up the bus?

He burnt his lips on the exhaust pipe

What do you call a terrorist who delivers food on the side?

Door Daesh

What's the difference been a hardworking, caring, mother of 4, and a terrorist?

You can negotiate with a terrorist

Did you hear about the Trump terrorist who tried to blow up a car?

He burned his mouth on the exhaust pipe.

What makes terrorist jokes funny?

The execution.

I fell in love with a female terrorist

That's my Guantanamo Bae.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the terrorist muslim jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working terrorist slavery piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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