Terrorism Jokes
39 terrorism jokes and hilarious terrorism puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about terrorism that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Terrorism Short Jokes
Short terrorism jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The terrorism humour may include short threat jokes also.
- They say you can't tell a funny joke about terrorism, but you can. It's all in the execution.
- Clowns terrorizing the streets. A real life billionaire villain running for president. We need Batman now more than ever
- USA is so lucky. Wherever they start fighting terrorism, they manage to find oil reserves.
- Say what you will about terrorism in Europe At least our planes take off and land at an airport.
- What's the difference between abortion and terrorism? Terrorism is funded by the US government!
- My girlfriend recently asked me if I wanted to get more serious. I said, "What do you think we can do to keep the second amendment while making sure terrorism and crime are not enacted?"
- Have you heard the latest trend... Have you heard the latest trend that's blowin' up the Internet?
It's cyber-terrorism. - Did you hear about the guitarist who was recently detained for suspected crimes of terrorism? They had to pull some strings but they finally got that confession.
- A break-dancer got arrested on suspicion of terrorism His boombox was safely detonated by the bomb squad.
- I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.
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Terrorism One Liners
Which terrorism one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with terrorism? I can suggest the ones about peace and riot.
- Global warming can reduce terrorism because the isis melting.
- Did you know global warming is reducing terrorism? The ISIS melting.
- 11/9 The day America terrorized themselves.
- How does a mathematician want to solve terrorism? He wants to simplify the radicals.
- What do you call a Muslim abortion clinic? Counter-terrorism
- What did the ghost say during its planned act of terrorism? Allaboo Akbar.
- So I'm taking a Terrorism and Covert Politics class Pretty sure I bombed the midterm.
- I took a pretty difficult quiz on terrorism today. I totally bombed it.
- How do we fight kitchen terrorism? By remaining Tupperware
- ISIS isn't the organization terrorizing the American dream... ICE is
- For all my terrorism news... I never miss an issue of Reader's Daesh
- The more you know, the more you don't know. What constitutes terrorism
- Can I watch French fry? Or is that watching terrorism?
- I like my beer like I like my terrorism... Domestic.
- Some people say I'm a dreamer But my therapist calls them night terrors
Loads of Fun with Charming Humor Terrorism Jokes
What funny jokes about terrorism you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean violent jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make terrorism pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
They say the feds track all internet activity and look out for keywords that indicate terrorism or otherwise
I wanted to test this out and Googled "h**... President"
Few days later I received a care package containing ammo
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Americans are so lucky
Americans are so lucky that wherever they fight terrorism they manage to find oil.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
When I die, I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like Fidel Castro ...
... not screaming in t**..., like his victims.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A grandfather and his grandson in the supermarket
A woman in a supermarket is following a grandfather and his badly behaved three-year-old grandson. It's obvious to her that he has his hands full with the child screaming for candy in the candy aisle, cookies in the cookie aisle and for cereal and soda in the other aisles.
Meanwhile, Granddad is working his way around, saying in a controlled voice: "Easy, William, we won't be long, easy, boy."
Another outburst, and she hears the granddad calmly say: "It's OK, William, just a couple more minutes and we'll be out of here. Hang in there, boy."
At the checkout, the little t**... is throwing items out of the cart, and Granddad says again in a controlled voice: "William, William, relax buddy, don't get upset. We'll be home in five minutes; stay cool, William."
Very impressed, the woman goes outside where the grandfather is loading his groceries and the boy into the car. She says to the elderly gentleman: "It's none of my business, but you were amazing in there. I don't know how you did it. That whole time, you kept your composure, and no matter how loud and disruptive he got, you just calmly kept saying things would be OK. William is very lucky to have you as his grandpa."
"Thanks," said the grandfather, "but I'm William. The little s**...'s name is Kevin."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I visited a haunted house today, and my friends fled in t**....
I've been to this place for the last 271 years and haven't seen a single ghost.
Absolute cowards.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
It's too soon to make jokes about the Sweden t**... Attack
We should wait for it to happen first.
A guy carrying a backpack gets stopped by the police on suspicion of terrorism..
The police officer asks him to let him check his backpack. The guy obliges. In his backpack, the officer finds some textbooks, a calculator, a compass and a ruler.
"Aha!", shouts the policeman, "as I suspected. You are under arrest!"
"But why?" the guy protests.
"You have been caught in procession of weapons of math instruction!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I've been dating a muslim girl. She gave me a h**... yesterday but it was a bit rough so I've nicknamed her...
...the t**... wrist.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
True t**... is to wake up one morning and discover
that your high school class is running the country.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Just found this hillarious joke
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather.
Not screaming in t**... like his passengers.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I want to die like dad – peacefully in my sleep.
Not like mom – screaming in t**... in the passenger seat.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A couple of jokes on the theme of "How I would like to die"
1) When I die, I want to go peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather, not screaming in t**... like his passengers
2) I want to leave this world as I entered it - k**..., screaming, and covered in somebody else's blood
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My friend fell into the gelatto machine.
Ice creamed in t**....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If a mime went jihadi and did a s**... b**......
Would it be an unspeakable act of terrorism?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Was awoken this morning by a loud b**... on my front door. Got up and someone was there yelling and screaming in t**... Help! Help! there is a crazy person trying to kidnap me. They kept screaming and yelling at the top of their lungs and b**... on the door.
Finally got so annoying I unlocked the door and let them out.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A politician was crossing a pasture when he stepped into something soft.
He immediately stopped and looked down to see his foot completely covered in a large cow-pie.
Standing still, he cried out in t**..., "Please someone help me, I'm melting!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A old woman was arrested on terrorism charges today
A elderly woman was arrested on terrorism charges at Heathrow airport today.
She had tried to bring a bomb onto a plane with her.
When questioned as to why she did such a thing she said she was deathly afraid of her plane being blown up by a t**... and thought the chances of two bombs being on one plane where astronomical.
