Terrible Christmas Jokes
17 terrible christmas jokes and hilarious terrible christmas puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about terrible christmas that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Terrible Christmas Short Jokes
Short terrible christmas jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The terrible christmas humour may include short bad christmas jokes also.
- Took my car to the mechanic because it was making a terrible noise. He removed the Mariah Carey Christmas CD, and now it's fine.
- On a blind date, the girl told me, Tell me a little bit about yourself. Me: I'm terrible with dates.
Her: Don't worry. You're doing fine so far.
Me: Christmas is on July 4th. - My mom went to go buy a Christmas tree from the store The man behind the counter said "are you going to put it up yourself?" Mom says "no thats terrible, im going to put it in the family room"
- I suffer from terrible insomnia But on the bright side it's only three more sleeps till Christmas.
- Darth Vader: Luke, I know what you're getting for Christmas. Luke: How?
Darth Vader: I felt your presents. - People question the Christmas present I got for my mother They say a fridge is a terrible gift when she already has one. But when I saw here face light up upon opening it, all doubts where gone.
- I just woke up from a coma, I think i've been out for like a day, what a terrible christmas.
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Terrible Christmas One Liners
Which terrible christmas one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with terrible christmas? I can suggest the ones about sick christmas and terrible.
- Insomnia is terrible. But on the plus side... Only three more sleep till Christmas
- Do you want to hear a dad joke about Christmas wrapping paper? Nevermind, it's terrible.
- What name does Jesus use when delivering pizzas?
Chjesus Chrust - What goes h**... h**... h**... thud? Santa laughing his head off.
Terrible Christmas Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about terrible christmas you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean traditional christmas jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make terrible christmas pranks.
A town decided to form a clergy group to have Catholics, Jews, Protestants and Muslims gather to talk about various issues facing their places of worship.
The Rabbi went first and said they were having a terrible issue with squirrels. He said they were hanging around outside of church and aggressively begging for food. He said they were scaring their kids. The preacher said they were having the same issue, in fact, a few of the squirrels had actually gotten inside of the church and had done some damage to the roof. The Imam agreed saying that in fact one of the squirrels had bitten a few people at the mosque. The Priest then spoke up and said they used to have the same issue but had solved it. He said they took all of their squirrels, Baptized them, confirmed them, and now they only come around on Christmas and Easter.
Church squirrels
All five churches in a small Texas town were having a terrible problem with squirrel infestations. Predictably, they all had different ways of dealing with the problem.
The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do. After much prayer and consideration they determined that the squirrels were predestined to be there, and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will.
In the Baptist church, the squirrels had taken up habitation in the baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a cover on the baptistery and drown the squirrels in it. The squirrels escaped somehow and there were twice as many there the next week.
The Methodist church got together and decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God's creation. So, they humanely trapped the squirrels and set them free a few miles outside of town. Three days later, the squirrels were back.
The Catholic church came up with what they thought was the best and most effective solution: they baptized the squirrels and registered them as members of the church. Now they only see them on Christmas and Easter.
Still, the Jewish synagogue beat them all: they took one squirrel and had a short service with him called a bris -- and they haven't seen a squirrel on the property since.