The Best 66 Terri Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Terri jokes. There are some terri teresa jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these terri fried puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Terri Jokes and Puns

I had a terrible dream of a dystopian future where robots controlled every aspect of our lives.

Luckily, I was awakened by my Tesla.

The most terrifying sentence in the world.

"I'm from the government, and I'm here to help."


This is terrible, and I'd like to apologize in advance, but could anyone tell me why hipsters prefer corpses over zombies?

Corpses are still underground.

Terri joke, This is terrible, and I'd like to apologize in advance, but could anyone tell me why hipsters prefer

I've got a terrible addiction, I can't stop eating deli meats.

I'm trying to quit cold turkey.

It would be terrifying if Elizabeth I were alive today...

... Because she's dead.

Note: Credit goes to my dryly-sarcastic history professor.

Terrible jokes my Dad told me as a kid

Joke 1: How do you know if an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The peanut butter has footprints

Joke 2: How do you know if an elephant is in your cherry tree? Elephants have blue eyes

I don't know if this has anything to do with how awful the jokes are, but my Dad immigrated from Germany in the 1960's

Terrible Chemistry Joke

Timmy was a Chemist
But now he is no more
What he thought was H2O
Was H2SO4

Terri joke, Terrible Chemistry Joke

A terrible joke

My friend was really mad at me because I was masturbating while sniffing his sisters underwear I think it was because she was still in them. It really made the rest of her funeral a real drag.

Terrifying Story

A guy in a taxi wanted to speak to the driver so he leaned forward and tapped him on the shoulder. The driver screamed, jumped up in the air and yanked the wheel over. The car mounted the curb, demolished a lamppost and came to a stop inches from a shop window. The startled passenger said "I didn't mean to frighten you, just wanted to ask you something." Taxi driver says "Not your fault Sir. It's my first day as a cab driver, I've been driving a hearse for the past 25 years".

I use to be terrified of speed bumps...

But I slowly got over it.

So I had a terrible asthmatic attack today.

You'd think I would have heard them hiding.

You can explore terri takeout reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean terri pam dad jokes. There are also terri puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

My wife's a terrible cook, she can never get her sauces right!

But I've stuck with her, through thick and thin.

I used to be terrified of my dentist.

He wasn't rough with my teeth or anything, he was just a paedophile.

A terribly ugly woman enters a store.

On each hand, she has a child. The clerk asks the woman: "Are those twins?" "No," the woman says, "TheyΒ΄re three years apart. Why? Do you think they look alike?" The clerk says: "No, I just canΒ΄t believe you got laid twice."

I am terrible at English...

But I love meth.

**Note: As far as I know my brother came up with this joke and I can't find it on the internet so.**

I had a terrible nightmare last night that I ate a muffler.

Today, I'm so exhausted.

Terri joke, I had a terrible nightmare last night that I ate a muffler.

What's a terrible plate pun?

dish one.

I just got a really terrible circumcision

What a rip-off!

I'm terrified of elevators

I take steps to avoid them

Terrible advice for a suicide survival hotline:

If at first you don't succeed...

I had a terrible cross-eyed teacher in primary schoool

She could never keep her pupils under control.

You know that you have a terrible sense of humor...

when you find that click-baiting is funny

A terrible homosexual

While getting absolutely destroyed in a video game, my buddy says "I'd be a terrible homosexual..." Confused, everyone stops and someone asks why.

"I mean look how bad I suck"

Terrible Headache

A patient to a doctor:
- Doc, I guess I am allergic to leather shoes. Whenever I wake up with my shoes on, I feel terrible headache.

I had a terrible night out at the club

I'm not much of a clubber, but I was starting to get the hang of it. They played "Jump Around" and I jumped around, they played "Put Your Hands Up" and I did, everything seemed to be going well. Then they played "Come On Eileen" and I got thrown out...

I had a terrible accident a while ago and fell into an upholstery machine.

I'm fully recovered now...

After a terrible fire that brought down their home, a man and his wife were grasping for answers

"Do you think it was arson?", she said.

"Which one?", he replied.

After a terrible night, two professors have to run through campus while naked...

As they run, the first guy covers his genitals and the second covers his face. The first guy asks the second, "Are you not ashamed of your indecency?"

The second guy responds, "Yeah... But, I don't know about you, but more people recognize me by my face than by my genitals"

What did the terrible fat Magician say to the audience?

I may not know any magic but I do have a few Twix up my sleeve.

I'm terrified of hurdles

I'll get over it.

Terrible diseases...

A newlywed couple on their honeymoon prepares to see each other naked for the first time.
The husband exposes his knotted and twisted feet. He explains, "I had tolio as a child."
The wife asks if he means polio. He says, "No, it only affects the toes."
He removes his pants and reveals deformed knees. He admits, "I had kneesles, too."
Finally, he pulls off his boxers. In shock, the woman gasps, "Oh no -- smallcox, too!"

If I am terrible in bed...

does that mean I'm bad to the bone?

I'm such a terrible lover...

I was masturbating and my hand fell asleep.

I have been having terrible dreams lately. Last night I dreamt I ate a giant marshmallow.

When I woke up, my pillow was gone.

What's the most terrifying word in nuclear physics ?


It must be terrible being the last banana in a bunch

...seeing your friends stripped and eaten one by one, your own health worsening daily.

A terrible joke my dad just told me

So a patient goes to his doctor and says "Doctor, if I give up wine, women, and song, will I live longer?". And the doctor says "No, I'm afraid not. will definitely feel longer"

I did terribly in my quantum physics class, but still got an "A"

and I also got an "F"
I'm not opening my report card.

There is a terrible head-on collision on a winding Russian road

Both cars, a brand new Mercedes and an old Zhiguli, are absolutely totaled, but fortunately both drivers are relatively unscathed.

The owner of the Mercedes looks sadly at the wreckage and moans, "My brand new car! I was saving money all year to buy it, and here it is, destroyed barely a month later."

The owner of the Zhiguli nods sadly and sighs, "Yeah. I had to save money for 15 years to buy mine."

How can you tell something is terribly wrong at Microsoft?

Windows hasn't updated in two weeks.

I had a terrible headache in a Chinese restaurant last night and asked for them to turn off the lights

or just dim sum.

I've always been terrified of elevators.

I think it's time I took steps to avoid them.

This was a terrible day.

First my ex got hit by a bus.

Then, I lost my job as a bus driver.

I'm terrified of bats, but I blame my childhood for that.

My dad always took a good swing at me.

This sub is just terrible bank of awful puns

and I'm losing interest

I had a terrible first time at that Soviet driving school

I just kept Stalin over and over again.

Terrible accident

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off?

He's all right now.

Although he did terrible things, Hitler

did manage to kill Hitler

What's a terrible thing to say, when you miss someone's wedding?

"Sorry, I'll try to be there next time."

I'm terrified any time I see a sausage

I always fear the wurst

I used to have terrible amnesia.

I used to have terrible amnesia.

I used to be terrified of gardening..

Until I grew a pear.

I just had a terrible dream. In a dystopian future, robots controlled every aspect of our lives.

Good thing my alarm woke me up.

A terrible hairdresser was known for cutting customers' scalps with scissors.

One such customer, fed up and covered in wounds, told the hairdresser off.

The hairdresser snapped back, "Hey buddy, show some appreciation! You only paid $5 for this haircut, and I've already used $10 worth of bandages!"

\- From "Philogelos", an ancient Greek joke book dated to around 200 AD.

Something terrible occurred in the bathroom

Me: what's the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain

Roommate: I don't know what is it

Me: So it was you

Me: I'm terrified of random letters

Therapist: You are?
Therapist: Oh, I see.
Me [screaming intensifies]

I'm terrified of random letters

Me: I'm terrified of random letters
Therapies: you are?
Me: (screams)
Therapies: oh I see
Me: (screaming intensifies)

Me: "i'm terrified of those big empty spaces people yell into."

Therapist: "A void."

Me: "Good advice, thank you."

What's the most terrifying to read in Braille?

"Do not touch."

I am terrified of elevators.

I'm going to take steps to avoid them.

I'm terrible at Greek mythology

It's my Achilles horse

It was a terrible day today. My ex got hit by a bus.

I also lost my job as a bus driver.

I'm terrible at delivering jokes

You're lucky to be alive

I had a terrific idea for a story!

It was a novel idea.

I'm terrified of the Backstreet Boys.

Therapist: "Tell me why"

Me: I'm terrified of the song 'I Want it That Way'

Therapist: Tell me why?

Me: **screams**

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the terri jenni jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working terri stephanie piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes