The Best 22 Terminally Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Terminally jokes. There are some terminally incurable jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these terminally blunt puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Terminally Jokes and Puns

An elderly man was on his deathbed.

A man is on home hospice, terminally ill and barely clinging to life. Well one afternoon he smells his absolute favorite thing in the whole world, peanut butter cookies, baking downstairs. After hours of anticipation the cookies don't come upstairs for him.

So he, against all odds, unhooks his IV's, creaks to his feet, and hobbles slowly down stairs where he beholds a platter of the cookies on the counter. He feebly reaches out for one and his wife slaps his hand away angrily.

"No! Those are for the funeral!"

For some reason the Pope didn't...

sponsor my program for terminally ill Chinese children. He said he didn't like the name - What's wrong with "Youth in Asia"???

There was a business man that used to travel a lot

But every time he went to the airport, he got sick right away.
When he visited his doctor, the doc said "Its nothing serious. You're just terminally ill".

Terminally joke, There was a business man that used to travel a lot

Man asks his terminally ill friend: "Have you any idea what's it like after death?"

He replies: "No, but I'm dying to know"

A terminally ill man talks to his doctor

Doctor: I've got good news and bad news.
Patient: Please give me the good news first.
Doctor: You have 30 days left to live.
Patient: And the bad news?
Doctor: I should have told you that 1 month ago.

My friend has just married his terminally ill girlfriend...

I give it six months

Would it be wrong to give terminally ill children tattoos?

I mean... it's not like they'll grow up to regret them. :(

Terminally joke, Would it be wrong to give terminally ill children tattoos?

So a terminally ill man arrives after calling an appointment with his doctor....

Man:How much time do I have left

Doctor: Ten

Man: Ten what I don't understand

Doctor: Eight

What did the doctor say to the terminally ill deaf patient?

"Now, this may be difficult to hear..."

What did the terminally-ill dock worker say about his health care?

"It's asbestos could be."

I want to start a charity where terminally ill people can request to sleep with hollywood celebrities...

I'll call it "Make A Wishbone"

You can explore terminally mellow reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean terminally kush dad jokes. There are also terminally puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

What did the vet say to the farmer about his terminally ill cow?

It'll beef alright

Did you hear about the marine veterinarian who stopped the zombie apocalypse and operated on a terminally ill sea cow?

People say she was Hugh manatee's only hope.

Went to a kids party today. It was sick.

I didn't know why they were celebrating while the kid was terminally ill...

I once wrote a hit song....

about a man who came home from the doctor to tell his wife that he was terminally ill.

Everybody who related to it soon died.

The success of the song was short lived.

How does one smoke in an airport?


Terminally joke, How does one smoke in an airport?

Have you heard the one about the terminally ill chil?

It never gets old

No matter what happens, I can't get angry.

I guess I'm terminally chill.

Vet : I'm sorry sir, I am going to have to put him down

Owner : What??? Why?? Is he terminally ill??
Vet : No, it's cos he is very heavy.

What do you call a group of terminally ill teens in Beijing, all of whom want to end their lives?


What happened to the performer who read poetry to terminally ill patients?

He suffered an elegiac reaction.

A man lay on his deathbed...

He had maybe a day left to live when he suddenly smelled his wife's prizewinning chili! He dearly loved her chili more than anything else in the world, especially the way his wife cooked them which was known throughout the state of Texas.

With every last bit of energy left in his mind and body, the terminally ill husband pulled himself out of bed, crawled across the floor, down the hall, and into the kitchen. Here, his wife was removing the fresh batch of chili from the stovetop. As he reached with a spoon for a taste from the pot, his wife smacked him in the back of the head with a wooden spoon.

"Leave it alone, Charlie!" she yelled. It's for the funeral!"

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the terminally minivans jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working terminally the terminal irishman piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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