Term Jokes

What are some Term jokes?

Trump should not have said "shit-hole countries".

The correct term is "turd-world countries".

Why will the congress never impeach Trump?

Because the republicans always insist on carrying a baby to full term.

I called two girls hipsters and got slapped.

Apparently the correct term is "conjoined twins".

My friend gets really upset when I call him a flat-Earther

He says the correct term is bulldozer operator.

I don't like the term 'Anal Bleaching'.

I prefer to call it 'changing my ringtone'.

I never use the term "feminazi"...

Because the Nazis actually got stuff done.

If smoking Marijuana causes short term memory loss,

what does smoking Marijuana do?

Hipsters

I had the joy of meeting a couple of hipsters today, and they yelled at me for making fun of them. Apparently the politically correct term is "conjoined twins".

Why didn't the terminator upgrade to windows 10?

I asked him and he said, "I still love vista, baby!"

A termite walks into a pub

and asks, "Is the bar tender here?"

My mum suffers with short term memory loss

Hope it doesn't run in the family because my mums got it too

Someone called me racist for saying "black paint"

Apparently the politically correct term is "Tyrone, please paint the fence".

The term "Every 60 seconds in Africa..." is really stupid

Everyone knows Africans don't get seconds, they're lucky if they get a single serving.

The United States doesn't use torture techniques such as water boarding

The prefer the term "tactical baptism"

Studies have shown that smoking weed causes short term memory loss.

Next thing you know they'll be saying smoking weed causes short term memory loss.

Today I ended a long term relationship.

I don't really care though, it wasn't mine.

Ted Cruz has aborted his campaign

..but I say he should be forced to carry it to full term

My girlfriend said that I should use the term 'make love' instead of 'fuck.'

What the make love is she talking about?

Board Game Shop

Me: I want a dice.


Clerk: The correct term is 'die'.


Me: I want 2 die.


Clerk: Plural is dice, alone it's die.


Me: I want 2 die alone.

What's the engineering term for a one night stand?

A nut and bolt.

Hippies.

Had the pleasure to meet a couple of hippies today, and they hooted at me for making fun of them. Apparently the politically correct term was 'conjoined twins'.

Anti-Vaxx parents hate it when you call their toddler's outbursts a "temper tantrum."

They prefer the term "mid-life crisis"

The Inca people were one of the few who ever mastered hunting with owls, much like traditional falconry.

Legend says they learned calls to communicate with the intelligent birds, even to the point of planning attack strategies ahead of time.

And that's where we get the term Inca-hoots.

What is the gender-neutral term for "sugar daddy?"

Glucose guardian.

How did the terminal cancer patient do in school?

He passed.

The term 'Grammar Nazi' is outdated and offensive...

...we prefer to be called the Alt-Write

What idiot coined the term ex-fiancΓ©

Instead of near-Mrs

Given the terms crab , tuna , lobster , and Chinese guy caught in an avalanche of boulders , which does not fit?

Ans: tuna . The other 3 are crushed asians.

Terminator decided to stop killing and take up an honest job.

Now he's an exterminator

What's the technical term for a female to male sex change?

A strapadictome

How did the Terminator convince his girlfriend to move in with him?

He said, "Live with me if you want to come."

Slavery is such an ugly word...

I prefer the term lifetime unpaid internship.

I get ignored so much.

My name should be Terms and Conditions.

The scientific term for lazy eye is atchaphoria.

One eye is looking atcha and the other is looking phoria.

There's an actual medical term for when your foot falls asleep.

It's called 'coma toes'

These days you can't even say "blackboard" anymore.

The politically correct term is: "Jamal, get on my ship."

What is the most commonly searched term on Internet Explorer?

Google Chrome.

Which President had the shortest term?

Grover Cleveland.

He was the twenty second President.

How do you keep Trump busy for the rest of his term?

Tell him his twitter phone is in the corner of his office.

My father suffers from short term memory loss

I hope it doesn't run in the family because my dad has it.

I asked my librarian if she had a book on short term memory loss...

I asked my librarian if she had a book on short term memory loss...

So my parents were "debating" at the dinner table the other night

Mom: Cougar is the term used to describe an older woman who desires young men. I'm seeing a double standard here. Why isn't there a term for an older man who desires young women? What is he called?

Dad: Smart.

Why can't astronauts stay in a long term relationship?

They need space.

TIL that it's not politically correct to say someone is gay...

The preferred term is "Navy enlisted personnel."

The two girls I met at a party were quite upset when I called them hipsters.

Apparently, the correct term is 'conjoined twins'.

A father who is very much concerned about his son's bad grades in math.

A father who is very much concerned about his son's bad grades in math decides to register him at a catholic school. After his first term there, the son brings home his report card: He's getting "A"s in math. The father is, of course, pleased, but wants to know: "Why are your math grades suddenly so good?" "You know", the son explains, "when I walked into the classroom the first day, and I saw that guy on the wall nailed to a plus sign, I knew one thing: This place means business!

The term "Every 60 seconds in Africa , a minute passes" is stupid

Because the majority of Africans don't get seconds , they'll be very lucky if they even get their first servings .

A termite walks into a bar...

He waits and waits and nobody appears. He turns to a termite next to him and asks him, "Hey, is the bar tender here?". The second termite says, "Yeah. It's okay".

What's the kid friendly term for Bukkake?

Baby-shower

What do you call a show about two cokeheads with short term memory loss?

Whose Line Is It Anyway?

What's the medical term for a chill pill?

A relaxative

What do a three paragraph term paper and a 5'2" Mexican have in common?

They're both short essays.

The Terminator and his friends decided to go to a costume party dressed up as famous classical musicians.

"I'll be Beethoven!", said one friend.

"I'll be Mozart!", said the other friend.

"I'll be Bach.", said The Terminator.

I'm currently a recovering alcoholic...

But I prefer the term "hungover."

How to make Term jokes?

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