Term Jokes
159 term jokes and hilarious term puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about term that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Enjoy a good laugh with this collection of term jokes! See how many definitions you can guess correctly in jokes related to end of term, half term, medical term, long term, music term, accounting term, and legal term. Discover different types of term jokes and share a few stories that might have a derogatory or narrative punchline.
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Funniest Term Short Jokes
Short term jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The term humour may include short phrase jokes also.
- Why will the congress never impeach Trump? Because the republicans always insist on carrying a baby to full term.
- I called two girls hipsters and got slapped. Apparently the correct term is "conjoined twins".
- I got fired from my job because I kept asking my customers whether they would prefer Smoking or Non-smoking . Apparently the correct terms are Cremation and Burial .
- I angered two people by calling them hipsters... Apparently the correct term is conjoined twins.
- My friend gets really upset when I call him a flat-Earther He says the correct term is bulldozer operator.
- I'm tired of all these forced gender neutral terms The girl I'm going out with insist on calling me just friend instead of boyfriend
- Yo girl, are you a zero APR loan? Because I don't really understand your terms and you keep saying you have no interest.
- Hipsters I had the joy of meeting a couple of hipsters today, and they yelled at me for making fun of them. Apparently the politically correct term is "conjoined twins".
- America should go 4 years with no president after this term ends. Taking some time to be single after an abusive relationship is really important.
- My mum suffers with short term memory loss Hope it doesn't run in the family because my mums got it too
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Term One Liners
Which term one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with term? I can suggest the ones about tent and subject.
- There's a term for guys like Donald Trump. But apparently not 2 terms.
- Why did Obama get two terms? Because black men always get a longer sentence
- There's a term for Presidents like Trump.. Probably not *two* terms though...
- Today I ended a long term relationship. I don't really care though, it wasn't mine.
- Why do Adam and Eve use Android? Because Eve violated the apple terms and conditions.
- What's the engineering term for a one night stand? A nut and bolt.
- Adam & Eve The first people to not read the Apple terms and conditions.
- When Chuck Norris updates Windows ...Microsoft accepts his terms and conditions
- What is the gender-neutral term for "sugar daddy?" Glucose guardian.
- The military is now using gender neutral terms like... cannonfodder and expendable
- What idiot coined the term ex-fiancé Instead of near-Mrs
- TIL the term "cannibal" is offensive. They prefer to be called "humanitarians."
- Slavery is such an ugly word... I prefer the term lifetime unpaid internship.
- I get ignored so much. My name should be Terms and Conditions.
- What is the biggest lie in the Universe I have read and accepted the terms and conditions
Long Term Jokes
Here is a list of funny long term jokes and even better long term puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why can't astronauts stay in a long term relationship? They need space.
- As a guy who is 5'7 , I'm surprised guys my height think they're locked out of dating Most ladies' profiles say looking for long term, open to short
- My friends Scott and Ruth broke up after a long-term relationship. He's now ruthless and she got off, scott free.
- I just ended a long-term relationship today I'm not too bothered, it wasn't mine
- Complaint from 3017: These children's long-term zero gravity soccer leagues are raising weak adults. Every kid gets atrophy.
- Piece of Dating Advice Do not date a car mechanic if you're looking for a long term partner. Typically, a mechanic just nuts and bolts.
- The NHS has just revealed a list of long-term side effects of vaccines! - Old age
- grey hair
- General decrease of diseases - Why did Chris Brown stop having long-term relationships? He wanted 2 hit singles
- Someone asked me about minerals that are long term contributors to lung cancer the other day, I just answered asbestos I could.
- Why do pediatricians not like long term investments? They have little patients.
End Of Term Jokes
Here is a list of funny end of term jokes and even better end of term puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- As his Presidency comes to an end, I think it's important to reflect on the one positive result of Donald Trump's term. His Covid19 test result.
- Discussing with a woman is like reading software license terms. In the end you ignore everything and click on "accept".
- Arguing with the wife is a lot like trying to read the Terms of Use on the internet. In the end you just give up and go I Agree .
- What's another term for a "dead end job"? "Income without outcome".
- Now I'm just going to wait till the end of 2016 and hope Obama says: "Chill out guys, all of this was just a prank. I'm going for the 3rd term".
- I ended a long term relationship today... Lucky, it wasn't mine.
- Trump stated that all Americans will live like royalty by the end of his term More than 2 million people have been coronated already.
- Arguing with your Lady is like reading "Terms and Conditions of Use" In the end You just give up understanding, and say: "I Agree"
- I am satisfied with my life choices. I no longer pay for rent, food, electricity and blow jobs... not until my jail term ends...
- Arguing with a woman is like reading Terms and Conditions You end up ignoring it all and just clicking "I agree" at the bottom
Medical Term Jokes
Here is a list of funny medical term jokes and even better medical term puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- There's an actual medical term for when your foot falls asleep. It's called 'coma toes'
- What's the medical term for a chill pill? A relaxative
- What is the medical term for a fat cow? Morbidly o-beef
- I asked my gynecologist what the medical term for queefing is... Twatulence.
- The medical term for owning too many dogs.... Rover Dose.
- Sphenopalatine ganglioneuralgia is the medical term for brain freeze. A quick way you can get this is by eating an ice cream...
or by trying to say the medical term for brain freeze. - I prefer to use the medical term for being Friendzoned: Autoplatonic asphyxiation.
- What is the medical term for a laxative? A relaxative.
- What's the medical term for an a**... transplant? An election.
- How did the medical community come up with the term "p**..."? "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken.
Term Describe Jokes
Here is a list of funny term describe jokes and even better term describe puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- We use a very accurate term to describe our government. Politics, poly meaning many, and ticks meaning bloodsucking creatures.
- What do you call the terms describing lawn ornaments? Gnomenclature
- There is a term used to describe Mongolians who follow Buddha's teachings. They are referred to as "nomads."
- I have been described by some women as a bit of a looker. v**... I think is the legal term.
- Even with all the terms there are today to describe one's gender orientation, there still wasn't one that fit me. So, I created my own: tri-s**.... I really would like to try it someday.
- What term describes a zombie's s**... life? Dear bedroom.
- What do you call a wordbook that describes s**... terms? A dicktionary
Silly Term Jokes for a Good Time with Friends
What funny jokes about term you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean sentence jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make term pranks.
Trump should not have said "s**...-hole countries".
The correct term is "t**...-world countries".
I don't like the term a**... Bleaching'.
I prefer to call it 'changing my ringtone'.
My uncle Larry got bit by a snake.
My uncle Larry got bit by a snake. Not knowing if it was poisonous, he quickly grabbed the creature by the head, bit it in half and drove me, himself and the snake's body to the hospital.
As soon as we got there, the doctor informed us that for future reference proper term was *venomous* and this particular snake was not.
Which would have been a relief, except by that point uncle Larry had died of a poisonous snake bite.
What's the technical term for a female to male s**... change?
A strapadictome
What did one termite say to another in a burning building?
"Barbecue tonight!"
What do a three paragraph term paper and a 5'2" Mexican have in common?
They're both short essays.
I'm currently a recovering alcoholic...
But I prefer the term "hungover."
How did the Terminator convince his girlfriend to move in with him?
He said, "Live with me if you want to come."
A termite walks into a bar...
He waits and waits and nobody appears. He turns to a termite next to him and asks him, "Hey, is the bar tender here?". The second termite says, "Yeah. It's okay".
Someone called me racist for saying "black paint"
Apparently the politically correct term is "Tyrone, please paint the fence".
A teacher is asking children how their weekend went...
And young Johnny said, "It was great, Miss! Me and my Dad went to the outback! We stuck big sticks of dynamite up cane toads' arses!"
The teacher replies, "Johnny! The correct term is r**...'."
"That's right, Miss! Wrecked 'em! Blew 'em to bits!"
The Terminator and his friends decided to go to a costume party dressed up as famous classical musicians.
"I'll be Beethoven!", said one friend.
"I'll be Mozart!", said the other friend.
"I'll be Bach.", said The Terminator.
Terminator, RoboCop, & Optimus Prime are all together thinking of their next costume for Halloween...
when RoboCop says "We should all be classical musical composers; I'll be..Beethoven!".
Optimus Prime agrees and says "alright - I'll be..Mozart!".
Terminator stands up and says "I'll be Bach!".
Why didn't the terminator upgrade to windows 10?
I asked him and he said, "I still love vista, baby!"
Ted Cruz has aborted his campaign
..but I say he should be forced to carry it to full term
My father suffers from short term memory loss
I hope it doesn't run in the family because my dad has it.
How did the terminal cancer patient do in school?
He passed.
The term "Every 60 seconds in Africa , a minute passes" is s**...
Because the majority of Africans don't get seconds , they'll be very lucky if they even get their first servings .
My girlfriend said that I should use the term 'make love' instead of f**....'
What the make love is she talking about?
Hippies.
Had the pleasure to meet a couple of hippies today, and they hooted at me for making fun of them. Apparently the politically correct term was 'conjoined twins'.
I never use the term "feminazi"...
Because the n**... actually got stuff done.
The term 'Grammar n**...' is outdated and offensive...
...we prefer to be called the Alt-Write
TIL "saltpeter" is a casual term for potassium nitrate.
The more you KNO...
How do you keep Trump busy for the rest of his term?
Tell him his twitter phone is in the corner of his office.
Which President had the shortest term?
Grover Cleveland.
He was the twenty second President.
I recently Learned that it's politically incorrect to talk about taking part in a school shooting.
Apparently the term 'School photos' is more acceptable.
A father who is very much concerned about his son's bad grades in math.
A father who is very much concerned about his son's bad grades in math decides to register him at a catholic school. After his first term there, the son brings home his report card: He's getting "A"s in math. The father is, of course, pleased, but wants to know: "Why are your math grades suddenly so good?" "You know", the son explains, "when I walked into the classroom the first day, and I saw that guy on the wall nailed to a plus sign, I knew one thing: This place means business!
Board Game Shop
Me: I want a dice.
Clerk: The correct term is 'die'.
Me: I want 2 die.
Clerk: Plural is dice, alone it's die.
Me: I want 2 die alone.
So my parents were "debating" at the dinner table the other night
Mom: Cougar is the term used to describe an older woman who desires young men. I'm seeing a double standard here. Why isn't there a term for an older man who desires young women? What is he called?
Dad: Smart.
The term "Every 60 seconds in Africa..." is really s**...
Everyone knows Africans don't get seconds, they're lucky if they get a single serving.
I asked my librarian if she had a book on short term memory loss...
I asked my librarian if she had a book on short term memory loss...
The scientific term for lazy eye is atchaphoria.
One eye is looking atcha and the other is looking phoria.
Studies have shown that smoking w**... causes short term memory loss.
Next thing you know they'll be saying smoking w**... causes short term memory loss.
What is the most commonly searched term on Internet Explorer?
Google Chrome.
TIL that it's not politically correct to say someone is gay...
The preferred term is "Navy enlisted personnel."
What's the kid friendly term for b**...?
Baby-shower
Given the terms crab , tuna , lobster , and Chinese guy caught in an avalanche of boulders , which does not fit?
Ans: tuna . The other 3 are crushed asians.
A termite walks into a pub
and asks, "Is the bar tender here?"
The United States doesn't use t**... techniques such as water boarding
The prefer the term "tactical baptism"
Terminator decided to stop killing and take up an honest job.
Now he's an exterminator
People say maintaining a long term relationship with a girl is the same as having a full time job. I for one think there complete opposites.
After 10 years, my job still s**....
I told my doctor that I was unable to do all the things around the house that I used to do.
The doctor started a long and thorough examination, but found nothing wrong with me. When the examination was completed, I said, "Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me" "Well, in plain English," the doctor replied, "you're just very lazy." "Okay," I said , "Now give me the medical term so I can tell my wife."
The Inca people were one of the few who ever mastered hunting with owls, much like traditional falconry.
Legend says they learned calls to communicate with the intelligent birds, even to the point of planning attack strategies ahead of time.
And that's where we get the term Inca-hoots.
If smoking m**... causes short term memory loss,
what does smoking m**... do?
Anti-Vaxx parents hate it when you call their toddler's outbursts a "temper tantrum."
They prefer the term "mid-life crisis"
Does anyone know the PC term for short people?
...or do yall also struggle with gnomenclature
These days you can't even say "blackboard" anymore.
The politically correct term is: "Jamal, get on my ship."
What do you call a show about two cokeheads with short term memory loss?
Whose Line Is It Anyway?
The two girls I met at a party were quite upset when I called them hipsters.
Apparently, the correct term is 'conjoined twins'.
If you suffer from short term memory loss
If you suffer from short term memory loss
So President Trump wants to abolish the two term limit on the Presidency.
Welcome back President Obama we missed you.
Do you want to know why the republicans won't impeach Trump?
Because they believe in carrying a baby to full term.
Joe : Barack....
Joe : Barack....
Obama : yes Joe, we have to go our on ways after our term is over.
Joe : I'll miss you man. I'm going to be....
Obama : Don't you say it !
Joe : I'm going to be ... *cries* .....*sobs*.
Obama : don't you ever say it !
Joe : it's just.... I'm going to be... *sighs*
Joe : OBAMASELFFF
I accidentally angered two people today by calling them hipsters.
Apparently the correct term is conjoined twins.
If Trump wins a second term he will halt all shredded cheese production.
He is going to make Americans grate again . . .
There is a term for people like Trump...
But not two terms
Women see s**... like buying a car
Can I see myself in this long term?
Is it safe?
Is it reliable?
Can it kill me?
Guys look at s**... like parking a car.
There's a spot.
There's another spot.
Oh I have to pay? Never-mind.
Handicapped? Hope no-one sees this!
They have a term for a guy like Trump.
Not two terms.
Just one term.
There's a term for people like Trump.
But there's not a second one.
In light of the pandemic - we will no longer use the term "immaculate conception"...
It is being updated to "contactless delivery."
If you thought alcohol was bad for your short term memory...
...just imagine what alcohol will do!
