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Tense Jokes

124 tense jokes and hilarious tense puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about tense that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Laugh out loud with these hilarious jokes about past, present, and future tenses. From the Simple Present Tense to the Present Perfect Tense, these jokes about the Jetsons, teepees, and antsy will have you in stitches.

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Popular Tense Short Jokes

Short tense jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The tense humour may include short tension jokes also.

  1. Actually, the past tense is "hanged", as in "he hanged himself" Sorry about your Dad, though
  2. So I was asked the past tense of 'think' in a English test today I thought and thought and thought and finally wrote 'thunk'.
  3. I had posted this on Clean Jokes, just thought you guys would appreciate it. So, The Past, Present, and Future all walk into a bar
    It was tense.
  4. I was taking my English final and they asked Write the past tense of 'Think' . I thought and thought about this for ages.
    Eventually, I went for 'Thunk'.
  5. My 16 year old cousin Mary finally got her period today. So, that was a tense couple of years for me.
  6. After an extremely tense argument with my girlfriend, the house was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. Things got a lot worse when I saw the grenade fly towards me.
  7. The past, the future, and the present all walked into a bar at the same time. It was tense.
  8. There's a question in the exam that said, "What is the past tense of 'think'?"
    So I thought and thought and thought and eventually I picked 'thinked'.
  9. A teacher asks, If I say, 'I am beautiful,'" "Which tense is that?
    Student: Obviously past.
  10. An English Class Sentence: I live in Czechia.
    "What is the verb in this sentence?"
    "Umm... live?"
    "Great, now how do we say this sentence in past tense?"
    "Umm... I live in Czechoslovakia?"

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Tense One Liners

Which tense one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with tense? I can suggest the ones about tender and tighten.

  1. So...the past, the present, and the future walked into a bar. It was tense.
  2. Why is nostalgia like grammar? We find the present tense and the past perfect
  3. How to get laid?? 1. Lay on bed.
    2. Wait two hours.
    3. Lay becomes past tense.
  4. Teacher: What is the tense of the phrase "I am beautiful" Student: Past
  5. What do you call an English teacher who used to have anxiety? Past tense.
  6. I used to have a problem with grammatical tenses. But not yet.
  7. The Past, the future and the present walked into a bar An things got tense
  8. The Past, The Present, and The Future walk into a bar It was tense.
  9. The past, present and future walk into a room. It got all tense.
  10. Did you hear about the Taiwanese man who was too tense? He had a Taipei personality.
  11. The Past, The Present, and The Future walk into a bar. The situation was tense.
  12. The future, the present and the past walked into a bar. Things got a little tense.
  13. What is the past tense of blink? ___
  14. The past, present, and future walk into a bar It was tense.
  15. Why does bourbon come in fifths? Because you need it when you're too tense.

Past Tense Jokes

Here is a list of funny past tense jokes and even better past tense puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Had an English test the other day and... was asked the past tense of "think",
    I thought... thought... thought and wrote "thinked".
  • The Past, Present, and Future unexpectedly meet in a bar ... It was a very tense situation!
  • what's the past tense of seesaw? is it seensaw or sawsaw?
  • Three words are having an argument... Had, Made, and Did were having a very heated argument. They became more and more agitated as the argument went on. It was beyond tense... It was past tense.
  • The past, the present and the future had a meeting. It was tense in there.
  • How to get laid in 3 simple steps * Lay on your bed
    * Wait 2 hours
    * Lay becomes past tense
  • The past, present and future got into a fight Things got pretty tense
  • The past, present and the future started fighting. It was in*tense*
  • Past, Present, and Future walked into a bar at the same time The encounter was is will be tense.
  • Growing old is a lot like grammar The past is perfect and the present, tense

Future Tense Jokes

Here is a list of funny future tense jokes and even better future tense puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What's the future tense of England? Brexit.
  • Teacher and Student * Teacher said the students to convert the sentence "I killed a person" into future tense.
    * Suddenly Johnny stands up and said, Sir the future tense is "I will go to jail"!
  • Tomorrow I learned... How to speak in the future tense.
  • English class...... Teacher.
    One day our country will be corruption free. which tense is it??
    student.
    Future impossible tense.
  • So the past, present and future walk into a bar Things got a little tense
  • The ghosts of Christmas past, present and future are all sitting in a bar together. What a tense atmosphere.
  • Change sentence to tense? Teacher: Change this sentence into Future Tense, "I killed a person"
    .
    Student: The Future tense is "You will go to a jail"
  • The future, the present and the past walk into a bar.... ....needless to say, things got a little tense.
  • The past, present and future walk into a bar... Bartender says... "Well this is tense."
  • It was fun watching a Christmas carol. The ghosts of Christmas past, present and future were great. It was in tense.
Tense joke, It was fun watching a Christmas carol. The ghosts of Christmas past, present and future were great.

Present Tense Jokes

Here is a list of funny present tense jokes and even better present tense puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Teacher: "What is the present tense for the sentence 'I killed someone'?"
    Student: "The present tense would be 'I am in prison.'"
  • Siri: The past, present and future walk into a bar. It was tense.
    I did have to ask for a joke in English, as the first time Siri said she would, but I wouldn't understand a joke in her language.
  • What happened when past, present and future met each other? Things got a little tense
  • When separating, what did present tense say to future tense? See you later.
  • It wasn't that I didn't like my future present It's just it was two tense.
  • Future, Present and Past were having an argument It was getting pretty tense
  • Why doesn't past like present or future tense? Because they're too tense together.

Verb Tense Jokes

Here is a list of funny verb tense jokes and even better verb tense puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • All my physical relationships are like past-tense verbs They end with ED.
  • Conjugating verbs is great It's always in-tense
Tense joke, Conjugating verbs is great

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about tense can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of tense puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Entertaining Tense Jokes to Laugh Out Loud Fun with Everyone

What funny jokes about tense you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean stressful jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make tense prank.

It's impossible to run through a campsite...

It has to be ran.
Because its past tense

A guy goes to see his doctor...

The doctor asks what's wrong.
The guy says "Two nights ago, I dreamed I was a wigwam. Then last night, I dreamed I was a tepee."
The doctor replies, "Oh, you just need to relax. You're too tense."

Tense, moody joke

Guy lands at Logan, hops a cab, and says to the driver, "Well now that i'm in Boston, where can I get scrod?" Cabbie says, "You know, I've heard that question a thousand times, but never in the pluperfect subjunctive."

A guy run up to me and started yelling,

"I'm a teepee! I'm a wigwam!"
I said, "Calm down, man. You're too tense."

Guy walks into a psychiatrist's office....

stammering over and over "I'm a teepee I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee I'm a wigwam..."
.... The psychiatrist says calmly, "settle down you're too tents (tense)...

A German walks into a bar after the World Cup.

As he is ordering a beer, he notices an American sitting at the edge of the bar.
After a tense pause, he says, "Hey American! How many world cups have you won?"
The American calmly replies
"Hey German. How many World Wars have you won?"

Fascinate

Teacher: Can anyone use the word "fascinate" in a sentence?
Billy: I was fascinated by the sunrise.
Teacher: Good, but "fascinated" is past tense. Can anyone else try?
Suzie: It was fascinating to see the flowers grow.
Teacher: Good, Suzie, but you added an "ing" at the end of the word and made it an adjective. I just want to hear the verb "fascinate".
Ernie: Yo mama got a blouse with 12 b**... on it...but she so fat, she can only fascinate!

What tense do Italians speak in?

Pasta continuous.

I can't help but think that The Last Supper must have been a bit tense...

...with Jesus relating the bread to his broken skin and the wine to his own blood.
I bet no one touched the meatballs.

Why was Bob shaking?

Because he was past tense.

A man went to his therapist, freaking out that he'd dreamt he was a teepee one night and a wigwam the next.

The doctor told him, "Calm down. You're too tense."

A son gets home from his English quiz...

and sees his mom at house.
"How did you do?" she asked,
"It was easy but question 5 confused me," he said.
"What was it?" said his mom.
"The question wanted the past tense of 'think.' I thought and thought and thought and finally came up with 'thinked.'"

Man walks into a psychologists office and says "Doc. You gotta help Me! I'm having these terrible dreams!"

Doc asks the guy "what happens in these bad dreams?"
The guy says "Sometimes I'm a teepee, then I'm a wigwam, then a teepee, then a wigwam, teepee, wigwam, teepee, wigwam. It's all night! I can't take it!"
Doc says "you've got to calm down. You're too tense."

A native American indian is talking to his psychiatrist

He tells him "Doc, I dont know what is wrong with me. One moment I think I'm a teepee, the next I think I'm a wigwam."
The doctor says "Ah, I think I see your problem. You're too tense."

What's the past tense of William Shakespeare?

Wouldiwas Shookspeared

Son comes home after giving an exam.

Dad: So, how was the exam?
Son: I knew all the answers, but one question got me confused.
Dad: What was the question?
Son: Well, the question was 'What's the past tense of *think*? '. I didn't know the answer, so I thought and thought and finally wrote *thank*.

A Lion walks into a bar

The atmosphere is tense

English Exam

Two boys were in a class taking an English exam.
**After Exam**
Boy 1: What took you so long to finish the test?
Boy 2: Well, I got stuck in a question, it was "What is the past tense of think?". So I *thought*, *thought*, and *thought*, but I gave up and wrote thinked.

If women ruled the world there would be no wars

Just periods of very tense negotiations once a month

Recurring dreams

A man goes to a psychiatrist and says Dr. you have to help me, I keep having these recurring dreams. One night I dream that I am a wigwam and the next night I dream I am a teepee. It alternates one night wigwam, one night teepee. . The psychiatrist says I think I know what your problem is. You are too tense.

Carrot Stuck....

Is the past tense of Carrot Stick.
Unfortunately, my wife did not appreciate this as she was gesturing to her t**... and coughing.

I don't fuss over the difference between "can" and "may" like other English teachers.

In fact, once a student asked me this: "Can you give me an example of future progressive tense?"
I responded with "Certainly. I will be seeing you after class."
He must have wanted another example, as he was still standing in my classroom when I arrived the next day.

John, a 5yr old boy asks his 1yr elder brother, Tom, a question.

John- Is the past tense of "drink", "drunk" or "drank"?
Tom- It's "drank".
John- Then what about "drunk"?
Tom- That's future tense. Our father always gets drunk after he drinks.

My kid just asked 'What's the past tense of yeet?'. So I told him it's 'yate'.

In the morning, yeet your breakfast.
Then you're full because yate your breakfast.
(mayeb it isn't really a joke, but he laughed when I said it)

Working at the Jobcentre has to be a tense job

knowing that if you get fired, you still have to come in the next day.

Working at the unemployment agency would have to be a tense job

Knowing that if you get fired, you still have to come in the next day.

Two Parents Get Arrested

A couple is arrested after they get caught burning their son's name on farms. Picture a big bonfire, but it spells their son's name.
It's a tense ride into the station. The parents are obviously nervous, so the officer makes some small talk.
After a while, though, the curiosity gets the best of him so he asks them why.
Cop: Of all things to spell out, why your son's name?
Dad: We figured it was the best way to show how much we love arson.

Student 1: "How did your English test go?"

Student 2: "It was easy, but question 8 was confusing."
Student 1: "What was it?"
Student 2: "It asked for the past tense of 'think'. I thought and thought and thought, and I ended up putting down 'thinked.'"

A guy goes to a therapist. He asks the therapist over and over, "Am I a tepee or a wigwam? Am I a tepee or a wigwam? Tepee or a wigwam, tepee or a wig wam?!"

Therapist replies, "You're too tense."

What is a Trump supporter's favorite grammar tense?

Past perfect.

A blonde joke

A blonde gets an opportunity to fly to a nearby country. She has never been on an airplane anywhere and was very excited and tense. As soon as she boarded the plane, a Boeing-747, she started jumping in excitement, running over seat to seat and starts shouting, "BOEING! BOEING!! BOEING!!! BO....."
She sort of forgets where she is, even the pilot in the c**...-pit hears the noise. Annoyed by the goings on, the Pilot comes out and shouts "BE SILENT!"
There was pin-drop silence everywhere and everybody is looking at the blonde and the angry Pilot. She stared at the pilot in silence for a moment, concentrated really hard, and all of a sudden started shouting,"OEING! OEING! OEING! OE...."

That just makes a lot of sense

Did you know that the past tense of the word "read" is Reddit?

A student got home from school and his mum asked him how the test went.

He said it was easy but one question held him up. The mother asked what the question was.
" They asked what the past tense of think was" the boy answered. "So what did you write?" the mother asked.
"I thought and thought and thought until I finally wrote thinked"! The boy replied.

I told my doctor I wasn't sleeping well. I told him that sometimes I dream that I am a wigwam, and sometimes I dream that I am a teepee.

He said, Well there's your problem, you're too tense.

Past, Present, and Future walked into a bar, and it was simply tense.

As they were drinking it was clear it was becoming progressively tenser.
By the time they'd walked out it had become perfectly tense.

A pharmacist comes back from his lunch break

He finds his assistant standing by a customer who seems very tense.
What's wrong with this man? The pharmacist asks his assistant.
He has a terrible cough! The assistant replied. And there was no cough medicine so I prescribed him laxatives instead.
The customer gives a soft groan as the pharmacist looks horrified.
You can't prescribe laxatives to treat a cough!
Well of course you can, replied the assistant. Look at the customer, he's far too scared to cough

Present tense of cloud?

As I was saying goodnight to my 10 year old son this evening he said:
I saw a bunch of clouds while we were out hiking today. I wonder which one holds my data...
I groaned as I closed his bedroom door. He'll make a great dad someday!

(OC) A Killer Dies, And Meets His Victim In The Afterlife...

The killer stares awkwardly at the victim, the victim stares back. Unsure what to do, the killer finally says, "Well... This feels pretty tense."
The victim replies, "Oh, we're past tense."

A woman asks a psychiatrist what is wrong with her husband, who keeps saying over and over "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam."

"Easy diagnosis", the doctor says. "He's too tense."

Tense joke, A woman asks a psychiatrist what is wrong with her husband, who keeps saying over and over "I'm a te

jokes about tense

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these tense jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.