The Best 77 Tense Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Tense jokes. There are some tense grammar jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these tense nostrildamus puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Tense Jokes and Puns

It's impossible to run through a campsite...

It has to be ran.

Because its past tense

I had posted this on Clean Jokes, just thought you guys would appreciate it.

So, The Past, Present, and Future all walk into a bar
It was tense.

A guy goes to see his doctor...

The doctor asks what's wrong.

The guy says "Two nights ago, I dreamed I was a wigwam. Then last night, I dreamed I was a tepee."

The doctor replies, "Oh, you just need to relax. You're too tense."

Tense joke, A guy goes to see his doctor...

Tense, moody joke

Guy lands at Logan, hops a cab, and says to the driver, "Well now that i'm in Boston, where can I get scrod?" Cabbie says, "You know, I've heard that question a thousand times, but never in the pluperfect subjunctive."

A guy run up to me and started yelling,

"I'm a teepee! I'm a wigwam!"

I said, "Calm down, man. You're too tense."


Guy walks into a psychiatrist's office....

stammering over and over "I'm a teepee I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee I'm a wigwam..."

.... The psychiatrist says calmly, "settle down you're too tents (tense)...

So...the past, the present, and the future walked into a bar.

It was tense.

Tense joke, So...the past, the present, and the future walked into a bar.

There's a question in the exam that said,

"What is the past tense of 'think'?"
So I thought and thought and thought and eventually I picked 'thinked'.

A German walks into a bar after the World Cup.

As he is ordering a beer, he notices an American sitting at the edge of the bar.

After a tense pause, he says, "Hey American! How many world cups have you won?"

The American calmly replies

"Hey German. How many World Wars have you won?"

Three words are having an argument...

Had, Made, and Did were having a very heated argument. They became more and more agitated as the argument went on. It was beyond tense... It was past tense.

Fascinate

Teacher: Can anyone use the word "fascinate" in a sentence?

Billy: I was fascinated by the sunrise.

Teacher: Good, but "fascinated" is past tense. Can anyone else try?

Suzie: It was fascinating to see the flowers grow.

Teacher: Good, Suzie, but you added an "ing" at the end of the word and made it an adjective. I just want to hear the verb "fascinate".

Ernie: Yo mama got a blouse with 12 buttons on it...but she so fat, she can only fascinate!

You can explore tense antsy reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean tense wigwam dad jokes. There are also tense puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Growing old is a lot like grammar

The past is perfect and the present, tense

So I was asked the past tense of 'think' in a English test today

I thought and thought and thought and finally wrote 'thunk'.

Change sentence to tense?

Teacher: Change this sentence into Future Tense, "I killed a person"
.
Student: The Future tense is "You will go to a jail"

English class......

Teacher.
One day our country will be corruption free. which tense is it??
student.
Future impossible tense.

What tense do Italians speak in?

Pasta continuous.

Tense joke, What tense do Italians speak in?

What do you call an English teacher who used to have anxiety?

Past tense.

I can't help but think that The Last Supper must have been a bit tense...

...with Jesus relating the bread to his broken skin and the wine to his own blood.

I bet no one touched the meatballs.

The past, the present and the future had a meeting.

It was tense in there.


Why was Bob shaking?

Because he was past tense.

A man went to his therapist, freaking out that he'd dreamt he was a teepee one night and a wigwam the next.

The doctor told him, "Calm down. You're too tense."

A son gets home from his English quiz...

and sees his mom at house.

"How did you do?" she asked,

"It was easy but question 5 confused me," he said.

"What was it?" said his mom.

"The question wanted the past tense of 'think.' I thought and thought and thought and finally came up with 'thinked.'"

My 16 year old cousin Mary finally got her period today.

So, that was a tense couple of years for me.

Man walks into a psychologists office and says "Doc. You gotta help Me! I'm having these terrible dreams!"

Doc asks the guy "what happens in these bad dreams?"

The guy says "Sometimes I'm a teepee, then I'm a wigwam, then a teepee, then a wigwam, teepee, wigwam, teepee, wigwam. It's all night! I can't take it!"

Doc says "you've got to calm down. You're too tense."

The past, present and future walk into a room.

It got all tense.

Teacher and Student

* Teacher said the students to convert the sentence "I killed a person" into future tense.
* Suddenly Johnny stands up and said, Sir the future tense is "I will go to jail"!

A native American indian is talking to his psychiatrist

He tells him "Doc, I dont know what is wrong with me. One moment I think I'm a teepee, the next I think I'm a wigwam."

The doctor says "Ah, I think I see your problem. You're too tense."

What is the past tense of blink?

___

How to get laid??

1. Lay on bed.
2. Wait two hours.
3. Lay becomes past tense.

Actually, the past tense is "hanged", as in "he hanged himself"

Sorry about your Dad, though

I was taking my English final and they asked Write the past tense of 'Think' .

I thought and thought about this for ages.

Eventually, I went for 'Thunk'.

What's the past tense of William Shakespeare?

Wouldiwas Shookspeared

The ghosts of Christmas past, present and future are all sitting in a bar together.

What a tense atmosphere.

Son comes home after giving an exam.

Dad: So, how was the exam?

Son: I knew all the answers, but one question got me confused.

Dad: What was the question?

Son: Well, the question was 'What's the past tense of *think*? '. I didn't know the answer, so I thought and thought and finally wrote *thank*.

A Lion walks into a bar

The atmosphere is tense

English Exam

Two boys were in a class taking an English exam.

**After Exam**

Boy 1: What took you so long to finish the test?

Boy 2: Well, I got stuck in a question, it was "What is the past tense of think?". So I *thought*, *thought*, and *thought*, but I gave up and wrote thinked.

Teacher: What is the tense of the phrase "I am beautiful"

Student: Past

Had an English test the other day and...

was asked the past tense of "think",
I thought... thought... thought and wrote "thinked".

If women ruled the world there would be no wars

Just periods of very tense negotiations once a month

Recurring dreams

A man goes to a psychiatrist and says Dr. you have to help me, I keep having these recurring dreams. One night I dream that I am a wigwam and the next night I dream I am a teepee. It alternates one night wigwam, one night teepee. . The psychiatrist says I think I know what your problem is. You are too tense.

Carrot Stuck....

Is the past tense of Carrot Stick.

Unfortunately, my wife did not appreciate this as she was gesturing to her throat and coughing.

I don't fuss over the difference between "can" and "may" like other English teachers.

In fact, once a student asked me this: "Can you give me an example of future progressive tense?"
I responded with "Certainly. I will be seeing you after class."

He must have wanted another example, as he was still standing in my classroom when I arrived the next day.

John, a 5yr old boy asks his 1yr elder brother, Tom, a question.

John- Is the past tense of "drink", "drunk" or "drank"?

Tom- It's "drank".

John- Then what about "drunk"?

Tom- That's future tense. Our father always gets drunk after he drinks.

Two middle aged women are in Boston's fish market on Friday.

"I come here every Friday to get scrod!"

"I do too, but I didn't know it has a past tense."

How to get laid in 3 simple steps

* Lay on your bed

* Wait 2 hours

* Lay becomes past tense

My kid just asked 'What's the past tense of yeet?'. So I told him it's 'yate'.

In the morning, yeet your breakfast.

Then you're full because yate your breakfast.

(mayeb it isn't really a joke, but he laughed when I said it)

This joke won the funniest joke award at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival.

Working at the Jobcentre has to be a tense job - knowing that if you get fired, you still have to come in the next day.

Did you hear about the Taiwanese man who was too tense?

He had a Taipei personality.

Working at the unemployment agency would have to be a tense job

Knowing that if you get fired, you still have to come in the next day.

Two Parents Get Arrested

A couple is arrested after they get caught burning their son's name on farms. Picture a big bonfire, but it spells their son's name.

It's a tense ride into the station. The parents are obviously nervous, so the officer makes some small talk.

After a while, though, the curiosity gets the best of him so he asks them why.

Cop: Of all things to spell out, why your son's name?

Dad: We figured it was the best way to show how much we love arson.

Why does bourbon come in fifths?

Because you need it when you're too tense.

Student 1: "How did your English test go?"

Student 2: "It was easy, but question 8 was confusing."

Student 1: "What was it?"

Student 2: "It asked for the past tense of 'think'. I thought and thought and thought, and I ended up putting down 'thinked.'"

A guy goes to a therapist. He asks the therapist over and over, "Am I a tepee or a wigwam? Am I a tepee or a wigwam? Tepee or a wigwam, tepee or a wig wam?!"

Therapist replies, "You're too tense."

What is a Trump supporter's favorite grammar tense?

Past perfect.

A teacher asks, If I say, 'I am beautiful,'"

"Which tense is that?

Student: Obviously past.

Tomorrow I learned...

How to speak in the future tense.

The past, present and future got into a fight

Things got pretty tense

A blonde joke

A blonde gets an opportunity to fly to a nearby country. She has never been on an airplane anywhere and was very excited and tense. As soon as she boarded the plane, a Boeing-747, she started jumping in excitement, running over seat to seat and starts shouting, "BOEING! BOEING!! BOEING!!! BO....."
She sort of forgets where she is, even the pilot in the cock-pit hears the noise. Annoyed by the goings on, the Pilot comes out and shouts "BE SILENT!"
There was pin-drop silence everywhere and everybody is looking at the blonde and the angry Pilot. She stared at the pilot in silence for a moment, concentrated really hard, and all of a sudden started shouting,"OEING! OEING! OEING! OE...."

Past, Present, and Future walked into a bar at the same time

The encounter was is will be tense.

What's the future tense of England?

Brexit.

So the past, present and future walk into a bar

Things got a little tense

The future, the present and the past walked into a bar.

Things got a little tense.

That just makes a lot of sense

Did you know that the past tense of the word "read" is Reddit?

The future, the present and the past walk into a bar....

....needless to say, things got a little tense.

After an extremely tense argument with my girlfriend, the house was so quiet you could hear a pin drop.

Things got a lot worse when I saw the grenade fly towards me.

Why is nostalgia like grammar?

We find the present tense and the past perfect

The Past, The Present, and The Future walk into a bar

It was tense.

A student got home from school and his mum asked him how the test went.

He said it was easy but one question held him up. The mother asked what the question was.
" They asked what the past tense of think was" the boy answered. "So what did you write?" the mother asked.

"I thought and thought and thought until I finally wrote thinked"! The boy replied.

I told my doctor I wasn't sleeping well. I told him that sometimes I dream that I am a wigwam, and sometimes I dream that I am a teepee.

He said, Well there's your problem, you're too tense.

Past, Present, and Future walked into a bar, and it was simply tense.

As they were drinking it was clear it was becoming progressively tenser.

By the time they'd walked out it had become perfectly tense.

The past, the future, and the present all walked into a bar at the same time.

It was tense.

An English Class

Sentence: I live in Czechia.

"What is the verb in this sentence?"

"Umm... live?"

"Great, now how do we say this sentence in past tense?"

"Umm... I live in Czechoslovakia?"

The Past, The Present, and The Future walk into a bar.

The situation was tense.

The Past, the future and the present walked into a bar

An things got tense

A pharmacist comes back from his lunch break

He finds his assistant standing by a customer who seems very tense.
What's wrong with this man? The pharmacist asks his assistant.
He has a terrible cough! The assistant replied. And there was no cough medicine so I prescribed him laxatives instead.

The customer gives a soft groan as the pharmacist looks horrified.

You can't prescribe laxatives to treat a cough!

Well of course you can, replied the assistant. Look at the customer, he's far too scared to cough

The past, present, and future walk into a bar

It was tense.

what's the past tense of seesaw?

is it seensaw or sawsaw?

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the tense visions jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working tense nervous piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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