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Tennis Jokes

144 tennis jokes and hilarious tennis puns to laugh out loud. Read sport jokes about tennis that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Professional jokes about ball, raquet and tennis elbow that if said on Wimbledon will make you look rude and sound dirty. Some old tennis player jokes about love are among the best tennis jokes for adults. We have also tennis and golf jokes along with table tennis one liners.

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Funniest Tennis Short Jokes

Short tennis jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The tennis humour may include short golf jokes also.

  1. My girlfriend was devastated when she found out the reason why my nickname is The Love Machine . It's because I'm terrible at tennis.
  2. My girlfriend told me love means nothing to her That's what I get for dating a tennis player.
  3. My wife said, "I can think of 14 reasons to leave you, plus your obsession with Tennis." I replied, "That's 15 love."
  4. My girlfriend was devastated to find out that my mates call me 'The Love Machine' because I'm terrible at tennis.
  5. You should never get into a relationship with a tennis player. Love means nothing to them.
  6. Did you know that if all the capillaries of a human lung were rolled out onto a tennis court... The game would likely be cancelled
  7. I lost my job as a waiter when I served one of the customers his food. On the downside, I got chicken all over my tennis racket.
  8. My wife said, I can think of 14 reasons to leave you, and don't even mention your obsession with Tennis. I replied, "That's 15 love."
  9. Don't ever get into a romantic relationship with a tennis player... Love means nothing to them.
  10. There's a new game called "Silent Tennis." It's like regular Tennis, but without the racquet.

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Tennis One Liners

Which tennis one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with tennis? I can suggest the ones about soccer and volleyball.

  1. Why do librarians hate tennis? Too much racket.
  2. Have you ever played quiet tennis? It's just like regular tennis but without the racket.
  3. A tennis ball walks into a restaurant.... a waiter asks: "Have you been served?"
  4. I had to break up with my tennis player girlfriend Love meant nothing to her
  5. What do you call a girl who stands in the middle of a tennis court? Annette.
  6. What do you call a tennis match between helen keller and Stevie Wonder? Endless love
  7. I invented silent tennis... It's like regular tennis but without the racket.
  8. What does love mean to a tennis player? Nothing
  9. Never date a girl that plays tennis They may be athletic, but love means nothing to them.
  10. You know why you should never date a tennis player? Love means nothing to them.
  11. Never date a tennis player.. Love means nothing to them.
  12. Why do orphans like tennis? Only place they can get love
  13. Selling all of my old tennis equipment but I can't figure out What's the net worth?
  14. Why should you never marry a tennis player ? Because love means nothing to them.
  15. What is Quiet Tennis? It's like normal Tennis, but without the racket

Tennis Player Jokes

Here is a list of funny tennis player jokes and even better tennis player puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • How many tennis players does it take to screw in a lightbulb? What?!? It's out? That's totally in.
  • They say Federer is the greatest tennis player in Grass Court and Nadal for Clay Court. How about for Djokovic? Federal Court.
  • Why do tennis players not ever get married? They think that love means nothing.
  • Never get in a serious relationship with a tennis player. Because love means nothing to them.
  • A tennis player is leaving the court and and a guy walks up to him. Hey what's all that in your pocket?
    He says It's tennis balls
    Well, if it's anything like tennis elbow, it must be painful!
  • Tennis players are the most heartless kinds of people. Because to them, love means nothing.
  • I was cheated on by a tennis player... Should've seen it coming. Love means nothing to them.
  • My first girlfriend was a tennis player, and she broke my heart... It was like love meant nothing to her.
  • My tennis career has taught me that I can be the best basketball player ever Nothing but net
  • I always wondered why there is such a high rate of divorce among tennis players Then I realized love means nothing to them.

Tennis Ball Jokes

Here is a list of funny tennis ball jokes and even better tennis ball puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My friend, who noticed a bulge in my pocket says "What's that"? I said "Golf ball". He says "Oh man, that must hurt! I had tennis elbow once."
  • I went to a busy bar last night dressed as a tennis ball I got served straight away.
  • I just returned my pet hamster. I'm starting to think we should have used a tennis ball.
  • What can you serve but not eat? A tennis ball.
  • The employees play basketball or soccer Department directors play tennis. CEOs play golf!
    The higher the position, the smaller the balls...
  • A tennis ball walked into a bar It was served right away
  • What is the difference between a tennis ball and the Prince of Wales? One is thrown in the air, and the other is heir to the throne.
  • I'm on a customer help live chat right now and the message tone sounds like someone hitting a tennis ball. Now that's service.
  • Tennis would be way more exciting if they used dogs for ball boys.
  • I went to a fancy dress party dressed as a tennis ball. I got served straight away.
Tennis joke, I went to a fancy dress party dressed as a tennis ball.

Tennis Racket Jokes

Here is a list of funny tennis racket jokes and even better tennis racket puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why did the old man hate living next to the tennis courts? He couldn't stand all the racket!
  • My neighbor, who makes tennis equipment, makes me want to move out. He is ALWAYS making racket.
  • Two tennis players got into a shouting match. They made quite a racket.
  • Tennis players grunt too much when they practice... There's no need for all that racket.
  • Have you ever played quiet tennis? It's regular tennis, but without the racket.
  • He kept buying more rackets, but stopped after he had nine. Tennis too many.
  • Why are tennis equipment factories so loud? Because everyone's making a racket.
  • Have you ever played silent tennis? it's just like normal tennis but without the racket!
  • The police receive a noise complaint from a nearby tennis equipment factory They were making a racket.
  • A man complains about the noise of a tennis factory "You lot are making a racket in there."

Tennis Court Jokes

Here is a list of funny tennis court jokes and even better tennis court puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Maria Sharipova has been banned from tennis for 2 years There's a sign at every court with her mugshot that says "do not serve this woman".
  • My local tennis club doesn't allow courts to be pre-booked. It works on a first come, first serve basis.
  • Where does a half-man, half- horse play tennis at Wimbledon? Centaur Court
  • Basketball sued Tennis for no reason Now they have to go to court
  • My wife is taking me to court because she said she's fed up of me beating her and she needs more than just love . The problem is, I'm just way better than her at tennis.
  • I'm surprised there are not a lot of Jewish tennis players. After all, Moses served in Pharaoh's court.
  • What's a glutton's favorite place to play tennis? A food court.
  • Where is the first tennis match mentioned in the Bible? When Joseph served in Pharaoh's court
  • Why is it not good to play tennis in a court? Because you might get arrested.
  • My inferiority complex has a pool and tennis courts.
Tennis joke, My inferiority complex has a pool and tennis courts.

Comical Tennis Jokes to Spread Joy and Laughter

What funny jokes about tennis you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean chess jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make tennis pranks.

What's the definition of endless love?

Ray Charles and stevie wonder playing tennis

We play GTA because it let's us do things we wouldn't even think about doing in real life...

Like golf, tennis and yoga.

What's better than tennis?

Elevenis

I'm making a documentary...

I'm making a controversial documentary that reveals decades of covered-up s**... misconduct in youth tennis programs across the country. It's called *15 - Love*.

My 5 year old daughter wants a t**... for Christmas

She has no idea what it is, but she knows what you can do with it.
Swim, ride, hike, dance, play tennis, ...

Why can't tennis players ever find happiness?

Because love means nothing to them.

Why doesn't h**... play table tennis?

Because he's dead.

Two brothers live together, and one of them makes tennis equipment for people with gigantism.

Late one night, he is up, hard at work, when his brother knocks on the door. He gets up from his desk, and answers the door.
"What do you want?" he asks.
His brother responds: "Hey, I'm trying to sleep. Can you stop making a huge racket?"

I named my son "Tennis" but he doesn't mind being bullied about it.

He's a good sport really.

I've just got back from a f**... of a friend who was killed after being hit in the head with a tennis ball.

It was a lovely service.

I just got a new doorbell that when the button is pressed has a gorilla singing about table tennis.

It's called The King Kong ping pong Sing Song Ding d**...

I had to use my glasses when playing tennis.

Because its a no contact sport.

Why don't tennis players ever get married?

Because love means nothing to them.

The neighbours kept me up last night because they were having s**... into the early hours of the morning.

I would have asked my wife to knock on their door, but she was out playing tennis with her friends.

It's no surprise that the Williams sisters...

It's no surprise that the Williams sisters always win at tennis.
Black people have centuries of experience serving.
And appearing at the courts, for that matter.

How many magazines do you need to buy to get a pair of tennis shoes?

Ten issues.

Two young boys go to a store

They have $6 between them and want a cool toy. After shopping around they come up to the register with a box of tampons. The clerk asks "Why?" One little boy replies "It says on the box you can go swimming, horse-back riding, play tennis, and other activities!! We just need to figure out how they work."

I once volunteered to help out at a special needs school

I played games with them like football, tennis, basketball etc.
It makes you feel so good inside...
Because you always win.

I wrote a book called Endless Love

It's about a tennis match between Stevie Wonder and Hellen Keller

UNFAITHFUL WIVES

A man is talking to his friend "I think my wife is being
unfaithful to me. And I think she's going out with a tennis
player."
The friend asks "Tennis player? Why?"
"Because", answers the other, "I found a racquet under our bed".
The friend thinks for some seconds and says "Gee, I think then
my wife is being unfaithful to me with a horse".
"A horse?? How come? Why??"
"Because I found a jockey under our bed."

What do you call a woman standing in the middle of a tennis match?

Annette

My wife hates cleaning so now I'm paying for a maid, she hates changing diapers so now I'm paying for a nanny...

And she hates having s**... with me so now I'm paying for a tennis coach.

Dog Years Are b**...

Dog years are b**.... My dogs 10 and she still chases tennis b**... when I throw them. When my grandma was 70 and I threw a tennis ball and told her to get it she smacked me in the head and walked away muttering.

Why do orphans like playing tennis?

It's the only love they'll ever get.

What do you call a tennis match between ray charles and Stevie Wonder?

Endless love.

What's the meaning of eternal love?

Two blind people playing tennis.

Why are fish no good at tennis?

They don't like getting close to nets

You should never date a tennis player.

To them, love means nothing.

Sean Connery was making a tennis date with a lady friend.

He asks her "what time would you like to meet?"
She says "Tennish"
He says, "I know but what time?"

A man gets on a bus, with both his front pants pockets filled with golf b**...

He sit's down next to a beautiful blonde woman.
The blonde kept looking quizzically at him and his obviously bulging pants.
Finally, after many such glances from her, he turns to her & says, It's golf b**....
The blonde looked at him compassionately and said:
Oh you poor thing. I bet that hurts a whole lot worse than tennis elbow

There's a tennis court on top of a skyscraper in my city

Takes a lot of b**... to play there.

The Story of Creation as told by Dog

On the first day of creation, God created the dog.
On the second day, God created man to serve the dog.
On the third day, God created all the animals of the earth (especially the horse) to serve as potential food for the dog.
On the fourth day, God created honest toil so that man could labor for the good of the dog.
On the fifth day, God created the tennis ball so that the dog might or might not retrieve it.
On the sixth day, God created veterinary science to keep the dog healthy, and the man broke.
On the seventh day, God tried to rest, but He had to walk the dog.

Why do tennis players s**... at relationships?

Because love means nothing to them.

Novak Djokovic is the first person to be knocked out of the Australian Open.

He only missed two shots.

My wife was disappointed when she found out why my friends call me The Love Machine .

Because I s**... at tennis.

I once dated a tennis player, but it didn't work out...

...it turned out love meant nothing to her.

Sport b**...

At age 25 men play basketball
At age 40 men play tennis
At age 60 men play golf
The moral of the story is the older you get the smaller your b**... get

I signed up for a singles program looking for love.

It turns out it's a tennis program.
I've never played tennis before, and I'm a bit out of shape. Wish me luck, hope I score!

Tennis joke, I signed up for a singles program looking for love.

jokes about tennis