Tennis Jokes
143 tennis jokes and hilarious tennis puns to laugh out loud. Read sport jokes about tennis that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Professional jokes about ball, raquet and tennis elbow that if said on Wimbledon will make you look rude and sound dirty. Some old tennis player jokes about love are among the best tennis jokes for adults. We have also tennis and golf jokes along with table tennis one liners.
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Funniest Tennis Short Jokes
Short tennis jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The tennis humour may include short golf jokes also.
- My girlfriend was devastated when she found out the reason why my nickname is The Love Machine . It's because I'm terrible at tennis.
- My girlfriend told me love means nothing to her That's what I get for dating a tennis player.
- My wife said, "I can think of 14 reasons to leave you, plus your obsession with Tennis." I replied, "That's 15 love."
- My girlfriend was devastated to find out that my mates call me 'The Love Machine' because I'm terrible at tennis.
- You should never get into a relationship with a tennis player. Love means nothing to them.
- Did you know that if all the capillaries of a human lung were rolled out onto a tennis court... The game would likely be cancelled
- I lost my job as a waiter when I served one of the customers his food. On the downside, I got chicken all over my tennis racket.
- There's a new game called "Silent Tennis." It's like regular Tennis, but without the racquet.
- How many tennis players does it take to screw in a lightbulb? What?!? It's out? That's totally in.
- I wrote a book called Endless Love It's about a tennis match between stevie wonder and Hellen Keller
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Tennis One Liners
Which tennis one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with tennis? I can suggest the ones about soccer and volleyball.
- Why do librarians hate tennis? Too much racket.
- Have you ever played quiet tennis? It's just like regular tennis but without the racket.
- A tennis ball walks into a restaurant.... a waiter asks: "Have you been served?"
- I had to break up with my tennis player girlfriend Love meant nothing to her
- What do you call a girl who stands in the middle of a tennis court? Annette.
- What do you call a tennis match between helen keller and Stevie Wonder? Endless love
- I invented silent tennis... It's like regular tennis but without the racket.
- What does love mean to a tennis player? Nothing
- Never date a girl that plays tennis They may be athletic, but love means nothing to them.
- Selling all of my old tennis equipment but I can't figure out What's the net worth?
- How many magazines do you need to buy to get a pair of tennis shoes? Ten issues.
- Why do orphans like playing tennis? It's the only love they'll ever get.
- I had to use my glasses when playing tennis. Because its a no contact sport.
- I went to a busy bar last night dressed as a tennis ball I got served straight away.
- I just returned my pet hamster. I'm starting to think we should have used a tennis ball.
Tennis Player Jokes
Here is a list of funny tennis player jokes and even better tennis player puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- They say Federer is the greatest tennis player in Grass Court and Nadal for Clay Court. How about for Djokovic? Federal Court.
- Never get in a serious relationship with a tennis player. Because love means nothing to them.
- A tennis player is leaving the court and and a guy walks up to him. Hey what's all that in your pocket?
He says It's tennis balls
Well, if it's anything like tennis elbow, it must be painful! - I was cheated on by a tennis player... Should've seen it coming. Love means nothing to them.
- My first girlfriend was a tennis player, and she broke my heart... It was like love meant nothing to her.
- My tennis career has taught me that I can be the best basketball player ever Nothing but net
- I always wondered why there is such a high rate of divorce among tennis players Then I realized love means nothing to them.
- Two tennis players got into a shouting match. They made quite a racket.
- Tennis players grunt too much when they practice... There's no need for all that racket.
- Who are the least romantic athletes? Tennis players.
Love means nothing to them.
Tennis Ball Jokes
Here is a list of funny tennis ball jokes and even better tennis ball puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My friend, who noticed a bulge in my pocket says "What's that"? I said "Golf ball". He says "Oh man, that must hurt! I had tennis elbow once."
- What can you serve but not eat? A tennis ball.
- The employees play basketball or soccer Department directors play tennis. CEOs play golf!
The higher the position, the smaller the balls... - A tennis ball walked into a bar It was served right away
- I'm on a customer help live chat right now and the message tone sounds like someone hitting a tennis ball. Now that's service.
- Tennis would be way more exciting if they used dogs for ball boys.
- My dad told me that on their walk today my dog was able to retrieve a tennis ball that landed 2 miles away Sounds far fetched
- As a tennis ball falls off a table, a golf ball shouts a question, "Are you going to be ok?" The tennis ball replies, "Of course. I'll bounce back."
- My grandmother didn't approve of me working at the nudist tennis club. But you should have seen her face when I told her I'd been promoted from ball boy to head of staff.
- Pope came to the balcony and said "Love All" People were ecstatic. then he threw a tennis ball in the crowd and said 15-love
Tennis Racket Jokes
Here is a list of funny tennis racket jokes and even better tennis racket puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why did the old man hate living next to the tennis courts? He couldn't stand all the racket!
- My neighbor, who makes tennis equipment, makes me want to move out. He is ALWAYS making racket.
- Have you ever played quiet tennis? It's regular tennis, but without the racket.
- He kept buying more rackets, but stopped after he had nine. Tennis too many.
- Why are tennis equipment factories so loud? Because everyone's making a racket.
- A man complains about the noise of a tennis factory "You lot are making a racket in there."
- Why does the man want to buy nine rackets? because tennis too many.
- I know a store that sells tennis equipment at ridiculously high prices. What a racket!
- I think my son might be starting a minor Tennis manufacturing business in his room. He's making a racket up there.
- Why is a tennis game a noisy game? Because each player raises a racket.
Tennis Court Jokes
Here is a list of funny tennis court jokes and even better tennis court puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Maria Sharipova has been banned from tennis for 2 years There's a sign at every court with her mugshot that says "do not serve this woman".
- My local tennis club doesn't allow courts to be pre-booked. It works on a first come, first serve basis.
- Where does a half-man, half- horse play tennis at Wimbledon? Centaur Court
- Basketball sued Tennis for no reason Now they have to go to court
- My wife is taking me to court because she said she's fed up of me beating her and she needs more than just love . The problem is, I'm just way better than her at tennis.
- I'm surprised there are not a lot of Jewish tennis players. After all, Moses served in Pharaoh's court.
- What's a glutton's favorite place to play tennis? A food court.
- Where is the first tennis match mentioned in the Bible? When Joseph served in Pharaoh's court
- Why is it not good to play tennis in a court? Because you might get arrested.
- My inferiority complex has a pool and tennis courts.
Comical Tennis Jokes to Spread Joy and Laughter
What funny jokes about tennis you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean chess jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make tennis pranks.
What's the definition of endless love?
Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder playing tennis
We play GTA because it let's us do things we wouldn't even think about doing in real life...
Like golf, tennis and yoga.
What's better than tennis?
Elevenis
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I'm making a documentary...
I'm making a controversial documentary that reveals decades of covered-up s**... misconduct in youth tennis programs across the country. It's called *15 - Love*.
Why does Ellen Pao play so much tennis?
Its the only place she can get love.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My 5 year old daughter wants a t**... for Christmas
She has no idea what it is, but she knows what you can do with it.
Swim, ride, hike, dance, play tennis, ...
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Why doesn't h**... play table tennis?
Because he's dead.
Two brothers live together, and one of them makes tennis equipment for people with gigantism.
Late one night, he is up, hard at work, when his brother knocks on the door. He gets up from his desk, and answers the door.
"What do you want?" he asks.
His brother responds: "Hey, I'm trying to sleep. Can you stop making a huge racket?"
I named my son "Tennis" but he doesn't mind being bullied about it.
He's a good sport really.
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I've just got back from a f**... of a friend who was killed after being hit in the head with a tennis ball.
It was a lovely service.
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I just got a new doorbell that when the button is pressed has a gorilla singing about table tennis.
It's called The King Kong ping pong Sing Song Ding d**...
I could never marry a tennis line judge...
They always point out your faults.
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Went to my old tennis coach's f**... last week.
His death was tragic but the service was lovely.
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The neighbours kept me up last night because they were having s**... into the early hours of the morning.
I would have asked my wife to knock on their door, but she was out playing tennis with her friends.
Why did the people living next door to the tennis factory call the cops?
Because they were making a racquet.
It's no surprise that the Williams sisters...
It's no surprise that the Williams sisters always win at tennis.
Black people have centuries of experience serving.
And appearing at the courts, for that matter.
Two young boys go to a store
They have $6 between them and want a cool toy. After shopping around they come up to the register with a box of tampons. The clerk asks "Why?" One little boy replies "It says on the box you can go swimming, horse-back riding, play tennis, and other activities!! We just need to figure out how they work."
I once volunteered to help out at a special needs school
I played games with them like football, tennis, basketball etc.
It makes you feel so good inside...
Because you always win.
A manager was told by his doctor to take up some sport for exercise, so he decided to play tennis. After a couple of weeks, his administrative assistant asked him how he was doing.
"It's going fine," the manager said. "When I'm on the court and I see the ball speeding towards me my brain immediately says, "To the corner! Backhand! To the net! Smash! Go back!"
"Really? What happens then?" the woman asked enthusiastically.
"Then my body says, 'Who? Me? Don't talk nonsense!'"
UNFAITHFUL WIVES
A man is talking to his friend "I think my wife is being
unfaithful to me. And I think she's going out with a tennis
player."
The friend asks "Tennis player? Why?"
"Because", answers the other, "I found a racquet under our bed".
The friend thinks for some seconds and says "Gee, I think then
my wife is being unfaithful to me with a horse".
"A horse?? How come? Why??"
"Because I found a jockey under our bed."
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My wife hates cleaning so now I'm paying for a maid, she hates changing diapers so now I'm paying for a nanny...
And she hates having s**... with me so now I'm paying for a tennis coach.
Did you hear about the tennis player who lost her finger?
I heard she plays ninenis now
A man is jogging along the road when he find an absolutely pristine tennis ball on the ground.
It doesn't seem to belong to anyone. So he picks it up and puts it in his pocket.
While waiting at a cross walk another man notices the bulge and asks "What is that?"
"A tennis ball" he replies.
"Oh, that must hurt a lot! I once had a Tennis Elbow"
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They call me Love Master
Because I s**... at tennis.
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Dog Years Are b**...
Dog years are b**.... My dogs 10 and she still chases tennis b**... when I throw them. When my grandma was 70 and I threw a tennis ball and told her to get it she smacked me in the head and walked away muttering.
Two guys are chatting at the gym, and the first guy says to the second "what's that bulge in your pants?"
The second guy replies: "Tennis ball."
The first guy thinks about it for a second and says, "ouch. I had tennis elbow once."
What's the meaning of eternal love?
Two blind people playing tennis.
Why are fish no good at tennis?
They don't like getting close to nets
Sean Connery was making a tennis date with a lady friend.
He asks her "what time would you like to meet?"
She says "Tennish"
He says, "I know but what time?"
Why did the tennis shoe walk away quietly?
It was a sneaker. :)
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A man gets on a bus, with both his front pants pockets filled with golf b**...
He sit's down next to a beautiful blonde woman.
The blonde kept looking quizzically at him and his obviously bulging pants.
Finally, after many such glances from her, he turns to her & says, It's golf b**....
The blonde looked at him compassionately and said:
Oh you poor thing. I bet that hurts a whole lot worse than tennis elbow
If a tennis player can get tennis elbow
Does that mean a gynecologist can get tunnel vision?
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There's a tennis court on top of a skyscraper in my city
Takes a lot of b**... to play there.
The Story of Creation as told by Dog
On the first day of creation, God created the dog.
On the second day, God created man to serve the dog.
On the third day, God created all the animals of the earth (especially the horse) to serve as potential food for the dog.
On the fourth day, God created honest toil so that man could labor for the good of the dog.
On the fifth day, God created the tennis ball so that the dog might or might not retrieve it.
On the sixth day, God created veterinary science to keep the dog healthy, and the man broke.
On the seventh day, God tried to rest, but He had to walk the dog.
Novak Djokovic is the first person to be knocked out of the Australian Open.
He only missed two shots.
I'm really big into tennis...
So I hate when people make a Djokovic.
Why did Jabeur lose the U.S. Open Tennis final?
She was Iga to play, but she just couldn't turn it ons.
I signed up for a singles program looking for love.
It turns out it's a tennis program.
I've never played tennis before, and I'm a bit out of shape. Wish me luck, hope I score!
