Tennis Balls Jokes

Following is our collection of snowwomen humor and racquet one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Tennis Balls puns for adults, dirty golf jokes or clean handball gags for kids.

There is an abundance of kickball jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 38 funniest jokes on tennis balls. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any sharapova witze you can hear about tennis balls.

The Best jokes about Tennis Balls

A tennis ball walks into a restaurant....

a waiter asks: "Have you been served?"

I've just got back from a funeral of a friend who was killed after being hit in the head with a tennis ball.

It was a lovely service.

An old man walks into a bar...

...and orders a beer. The bartender notices the guy's head is the size of a tennis ball.

"I have to ask, sir," says the bartender. "Without sounding rude, what happened to your head?"

The old guy sighs and tells him, "My ship was torpedoed by the Germans in WWII. A mermaid rescued me and promised to grant me three wishes. For my first wish, I asked to return to the States. My second wish was to have all the money I would ever need. Finally, my third wish was to have sex with the mermaid."

"That doesn't sound too bad," says the bartender. "Then what happened?"

"Well," sighs the man, "mermaids can't have sex, so I asked her if I could just have a little head... ."

Jogger finds a tennis ball

So Joe is out jogging alongside a tennis court. Unspurprisingly, he spots a tennis ball which has gone over the net. It's getting late and nobody's left playing, he figures they just left the ball there.

So Joe picks up the ball and puts it in his shorts pocket, to play with his dog later. He runs off, and stops by his regular watering hole to rehydrate. One of his friends spots the bulge in his shorts and asks:

"What have you got there Joe?"

"That? That's a tennis ball."

"Dear lord, and I thought having a tennis elbow was bad!"

A man goes for a jog... he passes the tennis courts he finds a tennis ball in the gutter. He picks it up and it seems to be a good find, so he puts it in his pocket and continues his jog. As he approaches home, he sees his next door neighbor outside watering the lawn. He stops to say hello and they start chatting. However, throughout their conversation the neighbor keeps looking down suspiciously at the bulge in the mans shorts. Finally the man tries to reassure his neighbor, "dont worry," he says, "it's just a tennis ball."

"Oh my goodness!" exclaims the neighbor, "I am so sorry. I had tennis elbow once, and I thought THAT was bad!"

The Psychic

Fearing her marriage is crumbling, a middle-aged woman visits a highly respected psychic renown for the accuracy of her predictions.

In a dark and hazy room, she tells the psychic of her fears and growing unhappiness.

The mystic peers into her crystal ball, then looks at the woman and delivers the grave news: "There's no easy way to say this... Your husband is planning to move all of the money in your joint account to an offshore bank, then file for divorce and marry his tennis instructor." She sighs heavily, peers again into the crystal ball, then gasps. "Wait!" she says. "You must prepare yourself. Before he can do these things, he will die a violent and horrible death."

Visibly shaken, the woman stares at the psychic's lined face, then at the crystal ball, then down at her hands. She takes a few deep breaths to compose herself.

She simply has to know.

She meets the fortune teller's gaze, steadies her voice, and asks: "Will I be acquitted?"

An old favorite for this festive day

A woman wakes up in a hospital bed to find that she's been in a coma after a car accident. She sees a doctor next to her and quickly asks him, Where is my son? He was really good at soccer, and had a long career ahead of him."

The doctor replies, I'm so sorry, in the accident he lost his leg. He won't be able to kick a soccer ball any more.

The woman asks about her daughter. Doctor, where is my daughter? She was really good at tennis and she could have been the best in the world and won at the US Open.

The doctor says, Sorry but in the accident she lost her arm and she won't be able to pick up a racket any more.

She begins to cry.

Doctor, asks the woman, how long have I been in this coma?

The doctor replies, Six months.

So what's the date? asks the woman.

April 1st, says the doctor.

The woman begins to laugh So you were joking then, were you?

Doctor: YES… they both died on impact.

My friend, who noticed a bulge in my pocket says "What's that"?

I said "Golf ball". He says "Oh man, that must hurt! I had tennis elbow once."

I went to a busy bar last night dressed as a tennis ball

I got served straight away.

Dog Years Are Bullshit

Dog years are bullshit. My dogs 10 and she still chases tennis balls when I throw them. When my grandma was 70 and I threw a tennis ball and told her to get it she smacked me in the head and walked away muttering.

I just returned my pet hamster.

I'm starting to think we should have used a tennis ball.

A man was walking through the park..

As he is walking down the trail, he notices a tennis ball in the grass. He looks around, doesn't see anybody it might belong to, so he picks it up and puts it in his pocket to take home, thinking the neighbor's dog might enjoy it. After leaving the park to walk home, he comes to a crosswalk. While waiting to cross he see's a gorgeous blonde waiting to cross as well. Out of the corner of his eye, he notices that she is checking him out. Finally, they make eye contact and with a curious look on her face she asks, "What is that bulge in your pants?" "Tennis ball," he replied. "Oh my gosh, that has GOT to hurt" she said "I had tennis elbow once."

A woman wakes up in a hospital bed to find that she's been in a coma after a car accident.

She sees a doctor next to her and quickly asks, "Where's my son? He's really good at soccer and has a long career ahead of him."

The doctor replies, "I'm so sorry- in the accident he lost his leg. He will not be able to kick a soccer ball any more."

Getting anxious, the woman asks about her daughter. "Doctor, where is my daughter? She's a tennis prodigy, and will likely win the US Open one day!"

The doctor says, "Sorry, but in the accident she lost her arm and will not be able to pick up a racket ever again."

The woman begins to cry.

"Doctor, how long have I been in this coma?"

"About a month," he replies.

"So what's the date?" asks the woman.

"April 1st," the doctor says, grinning.

The woman begins to laugh. "Ha, so you were joking all along, weren't you?"

Chuckling, the doctor says, "Yep! They both died on impact!"

Two guys are chatting at the gym, and the first guy says to the second "what's that bulge in your pants?"

The second guy replies: "Tennis ball."

The first guy thinks about it for a second and says, "ouch. I had tennis elbow once."

A tennis ball walked into a bar

It was served right away

What is the difference between a tennis ball and the Prince of Wales?

One is thrown in the air, and the other is heir to the throne.

A man is jogging along the road when he find an absolutely pristine tennis ball on the ground.

It doesn't seem to belong to anyone. So he picks it up and puts it in his pocket.
While waiting at a cross walk another man notices the bulge and asks "What is that?"
"A tennis ball" he replies.
"Oh, that must hurt a lot! I once had a Tennis Elbow"

A manager was told by his doctor to take up some sport for exercise, so he decided to play tennis. After a couple of weeks, his administrative assistant asked him how he was doing.

"It's going fine," the manager said. "When I'm on the court and I see the ball speeding towards me my brain immediately says, "To the corner! Backhand! To the net! Smash! Go back!"

"Really? What happens then?" the woman asked enthusiastically.

"Then my body says, 'Who? Me? Don't talk nonsense!'"

I'm on a customer help live chat right now and the message tone sounds like someone hitting a tennis ball.

Now that's service.

After a two year study, the National Science Foundation announced the following results on America's ball-related recreational preferences:

1. The sport of choice for unemployed or incarcerated people is basketball.

2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is bowling.

3. The sport of choice for blue-collar workers is football.

4. The sport of choice for supervisors is baseball.

5. The sport of choice for middle management is tennis.

6. The sport of choice for corporate officers is golf.

Conclusion: The higher you rise in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls become.

Tennis would be way more exciting if they used dogs for ball boys.

2 Guys walk out of the gym together.

The first guy has a big bulge near his pocket. The second guy points at and and asks what it is.

"Tennis ball."

The second guy makes a face like he's thinking, and then says "Well I had tennis elbow once..."

What can be served but not eaten?

A tennis ball.

My dad told me that on their walk today my dog was able to retrieve a tennis ball that landed 2 miles away

Sounds far fetched

As a tennis ball falls off a table, a golf ball shouts a question, "Are you going to be ok?"

The tennis ball replies, "Of course. I'll bounce back."

Just returned from my Friends Funeral..

He died from being hit on the head with a tennis ball.

It was a lovely service.

Pope came to the balcony and said "Love All"

People were ecstatic. then he threw a tennis ball in the crowd and said 15-love

My grandmother didn't approve of me working at the nudist tennis club.

But you should have seen her face when I told her I'd been promoted from ball boy to head of staff.

I was staring at a tennis ball, wondering why it was getting larger and larger.

And then it hit me.

Chuck Norris can win a football game by spiking a tennis ball over a volleyball net.

Age and sport

Men at 26 plays football,
Men at 40 plays tennis,
Men at 60 plays golf,
have you noticed every time you get older
your ball gets smaller

I was at the tennis court and I saw a tennis ball

It kept getting bigger and bigger... and then it hit me

Went to a fancy dress party dressed as a tennis ball

Got served first every time

Why did the tennis ball go to jail?

Because it got framed.

What happens when the ball hits the net while serving in Table Tennis?

they shout "reeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

Imagine being a tennis ball.

People applauding because you got hit really hard.

Me: "Hey did you buy '100 Count Tennis Balls' from Amazon?"
Wife: "No."
Dog: Pretending to read newspaper.

I went to a funeral the other day, my friend died after being hit on the head by a tennis ball. It was a lovely service.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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