Tennessee Jokes
58 tennessee jokes and hilarious tennessee puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about tennessee that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Enjoy a collection of funny jokes about the great state of Tennessee! From football rivalries to funny jokes about the weather, dive into a Southern state of laughter with jokes about Tennessee, Oklahoma, Nashville, and more!
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Funniest Tennessee Short Jokes
Short tennessee jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The tennessee humour may include short tornado jokes also.
- If a man and a woman get married in Tennessee then move to Texas and get divorced… Are they still brother and sister?
- If the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags," and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs," then... what does that make the Tennessee Titans?
- When I was young man I met a girl in Tennessee turned out she was a moonshiners daughter. That was a long time ago.. But I love her still.
- I used to date someone from Albania, Viet Nam, Turkey, Morocco, Trinidad and Tobago, Russia, Tennessee, Tunisia, and China Too many red flags
- Hey girl are you from Tennessee? Because I was wondering if you'd still be interested in me if I wasn't your cousin
- Some people don't know which American state puns are terrible, and which ones good. I Tennessee the difference, though.
- Why is a toothbrush called a TOOTHbrush and not a TEETHbrush? It was invented in Tennessee
- Why are murders so hard to solve in Tennessee? Because there are no dental records and the DNA is all the same.
- Why do black people prefer Hennessey to Jack Daniel's? Hennessey isn't made in Lynchburg, Tennessee.
- FAA study of black boxes found in domestic US, fatal, small airplane crashes shows 98% say "may day" remaining 2% are pilots from Tennessee who say, "hey good buddy, hold my beer and watch this"
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Tennessee One Liners
Which tennessee one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with tennessee? I can suggest the ones about southeast and earl.
- What has 3 teeth and 100 legs An unemployment line in Tennessee.
- You know what's better than Tennessee? Elevennessee.
- What did Tennessee? Same thing Arkansas
- Anyone wanna road trip to Tennessee? I hear Gatlinburg is pretty lit
- Serena Williams' nickname should be... Tennessee Williams
- Hey girl, are you from Tennessee? Because you're on fire right now.
- What do MLK, Elvis, and the Houston Oilers have in common? They all died in Tennessee
- What's so great about being in Tennessee today? I'm seeing triple
- Hey are you from Tennessee? Because you have a very strong accent.
- Anyone hear my hot new mixtape? I dropped it down in Tennessee.
- Apple should make the iPhone XS in... Tennessee
- Are you Tennessee? Because you're a state
- Are you from Tennessee? Cause it looks like your parents are cousins
- What do you call head from a Tennessee girl? Rocky Top
- *to girl* Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only 10 I see.
Tennessee Football Jokes
Here is a list of funny tennessee football jokes and even better tennessee football puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Q: How can you tell if a University of Tennessee football player is married?
A: There is tobacco spit on both sides of his pickup truck.
Experience Instant Grins & Giggles with Playful Tennessee Jokes
What funny jokes about tennessee you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make tennessee pranks.
Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House.
One is from Chicago, another is from Tennessee, and the third is from Minnesota. All three go with a White House official to examine the fence. The Minnesota contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. "Well," he says, "I figure the job will run about $900. $400 for materials, $400 for my crew, and $100 profit for me." The Tennessee contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, "I can do this job for $700. $300 for materials, $300 for my crew, and $100 profit for me." The Chicago contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, "$2,700." The official, incredulous, says, "You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?" The Chicago contractor whispers back, "$1000 for me, $1000 for you, and we hire the guy from Tennessee to fix the fence." "Done!" replies the government official. And that, my friends, is how the new stimulus plan will work.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My friends are real jerks. I was excited to text that I landed a full scholarship to the Southern Tennessee Forensics University
And they all wrote back s**....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Poetry Contest
The finals of the National Poetry Contest last year came down to two finalists. One was a Duke University Law School graduate from an upper crust family; well-bred, well-connected, and all that goes with it. The other finalist was a red-neck from Southeast Tennessee A & M. The rules of the contest required each finalist to compose a four-line poem in one minute or less and the poem had to contain the word "Timbuktu". The Duke graduate went first. About thirty seconds after the clock started, he jumped up and recited the following poem:
Slowly across the desert sand
Trekked the dusty caravan.
Men on camels, two by two
Destination Timbuktu.
The audience went wild!! How, they wondered could the red neck top that?! The clock started again and the red neck sat in silent thought. Finally, in the last few seconds, he jumped and recited:
Tim and me, a-huntin' went.
Met three w**... in a pop-up tent.
They were three, we was two,
So, I bucked one and Timbuktu.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The 100 MPH Goat
*(I live in Tennessee. No offense to r**... everywhere else...)*
Two Tennessee r**... are out hunting, and as they are walking along they come upon a huge hole in the ground. They approach it and are amazed by the size of it.
The first hunter says, "Wow, that's some hole; I can't even see the bottom. I wonder how deep it is."
The second hunter says, "I don't know, let's throw something down and listen and see how long it takes to hit bottom."
The first hunter says, "There's this old pickup transmission here, give me a hand and we'll throw it in and see."
So they pick it up and carry it over, and count one, and two and three, and throw it in the hole.
As they stand there listening and looking over the edge, they hear a rustling in the brush behind them.
They turn around to see a goat come crashing through the brush, run up to the hole and with no hesitation, jump in head first.
While they are standing there looking at each other, looking in the hole and trying to figure out what that was all about, an old farmer walks up.
"Say there," says the farmer, "you fellers didn't happen to see my goat around here anywhere, did you?"
The first hunter says, "Funny you should ask, but we were just standing here a minute ago and a goat came running out of the bushes doin' about a hunert miles an hour and jumped headfirst into this hole here!"
The old farmer said, "That's impossible. I had him chained to a transmission!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Dear Abby
My name is Gloria Mae and I'm from Tennessee. I'm 14 years old and am still a v**....
Is my brother gay?
Government contracts
Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House.
One is from Chicago, another is from Tennessee, and the third is from Minnesota.
All three go with a White House official to examine the fence.
The Minnesota contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil.
"Well," he says, "I figure the job will run about $900: $400 for materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit for me."
The Tennessee contractor also does some measuring and figuring, and then says, "I can do this job for $700: $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100 profit for me."
The Chicago contractor doesn't measure or figure but leans over to the White House official and whispers, "$2,700."
The official, incredulous, says, "You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?"
The Chicago contractor whispers back, "$1000 for me, $1000 for you, and we hire the guy from Tennessee to fix the fence."
"Done!" replies the government official. And that, my friends, is how our government operates.
Pentagon Contract
A contractor arrives home from Washington, D.C. and proudly tells his wife that he's gotten the contract to fix a cracked walkway into the Pentagon.
Two other contractors showed up to bid on the job, he explained to her. One was from Minnesota, the other from Tennessee. All three of us went to the Pentagon with an official to examine the cracked walkway.
The Minnesota contractor took out a tape measure, did some measuring, then worked some figures with a pencil.
'Well,' he said, 'I can do the job for about $9,000: $4,000 for materials, $4,000 for my crew, and $1,000 for me.'
The Pentagon official told him to write up his bid and send it in for consideration.
The Tennessee contractor then did the same, measuring and figuring, and then he said, 'I can do this job for $7,000. $3,000 for materials, $3,000 for my crew, and $1,000 for me.'
The Pentagon official told him to write up his bid and send it in for consideration.
I didn't measure anything. I just pulled the Pentagon official aside and whispered, I can do the job for $27,000.
The official was incredulous and said, 'You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such an incredibly high figure?'
I whispered, '$10,000 for you, $10, 000 for me, and we hire the guy from Tennessee to fix the walkway.
Tennessee Joke
Two guys are hunting in the woods one day and they get to arguing about a set of tracks they had spotted, "Them is deer tracks," one says. The other, "No them's bear tracks!" Back and forth for about an hour... Then they get hit by the train.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man in Tennessee was arrested for attempting to have s**... with an ATM.
Even worse, he received a penalty for early withdrawal.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two Flordia football players have been suspended for Saturday's game vs. Tennessee for refusing to take a u**... test...
I guess you might say u**... or your out.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Hey baby, are you from Tennessee?
Cause you look extremely i**...
Those fires in Tennessee are lit
Literally
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Most people in Tennessee don't think climate change is real..
But it's not really an educated opinion. Think about it, most labs here have the word m**... in front of it.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Hey girl, are you from Tennessee?
Cause you look like your parents were siblings.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A feller from Arkansas went to Tennessee.
While he was there he met a girl and they fell in love. Eventually they got married and went on their honeymoon. They are about to do the deed when she tells him she is a v**..., that she has saved herself for him. He gets flustered and doesn't know what to do, so he gets up and goes back home to ask his parents what to do. After explaining about his new bride being a v**..., his father says, "You done right. If she ain't good enough for her own family, she ain't good enough for you!"
Why are some types of silverware so difficult to find in Tennessee?
Well since everyone there spoons, nobody's family tree has a fork.
Are you possibly perfect and named after a southern state today?
Because you're Tentatively the only 10/10 I see, Tennessee
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Tennessee man accused of dipping t**... in customers salsa.
I'm sure j**... Lee Lewis wrote a song about that.
There's a reason they call it "March Madness".
A Duke fan, a Kentucky fan, and a Tennessee fan are climbing a mountain and arguing about who loves their team the most.
The Tennessee fan insists that he is the most loyal and then yells This is for the Vols! and jumps off the mountain.
Not to be outdone, the UK fan next professes his love for his team. He screams This is for the Cats! and pushes the Duke fan off the mountain.
Was driving through downtown Pigeon Forge and dropped this one…
So Pigeon Forge, Tennessee (US), is a HUGE tourist trap. We're talking zip lines, roller coasters, Ripley's Believe it or Not museum, Ferris wheels, life sized King Kong, etc.
Anywhoo, I was driving the family through this insanity when my wife pointed out a building to the kids and said look at that one with all the giraffes on top! I wonder what that is! Without missing a beat I said, Welcome, to Giraffic Park! And hummed the theme song while navigating through a left hand turn. I was proud and laughed out loud at my own joke. My 7 year old loved it.
