temporary Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious temporary puns

Yesterday I went to a temporary tattoo parlour to get a tattoo.

After it wouldn't wash off this morning I went back to complain, but the tattoo parlour wasn't there.

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went to a temporary tatoo parlor

it wouldn't wash off so I went back to complain but the shop was gone.

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When guys are best friends it's a bromance. When girls are best friends it's.....

Temporary.

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A guy gets pulled over for speeding...

...and when the officer asks him if he knew why he was pulled over, the guy replies "No, sir."

"Well, for starters," says the officer, "You were going 50mph over the speed limit, and on top of that you were driving right down the center of the road!"

"Oh, you've misunderstood, officer," says the guy, "My license says I can do that."

The officer doesn't believe this, of course, and asks for proof, so the guy pulls out his license, which is little more than a temporary learner's permit printed on a piece of paper from the DMV.

"Right there at the bottom," says the driver, "It clearly reads 'tear down the dotted line.'"

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Einstein dies and arrives at the Pearly Gates...

Einstein dies and arrives at the Pearly Gates, where he is greeted by St. Peter. St. Peter tells him, "Oh, Einstein, we've not quite finished preparing your living quarters, so we'll have to ask you to temporarily room with a few other men for the time being." Einstein obliges, and St. Peter takes him to his temporary room, where he meets his 3 roommates. St. Peter, introducing Einstein to the first man, says "Einstein, this is Mark. He has an IQ of 130." Einstein says "Oh, wonderful, we'll be able to discuss physics together." St. Peter introduces him to the second man, "Einstein, this is James. He has an IQ of 150." Einstein says, "Marvelous, we'll be able to discuss mathematics and literature together." St. Peter introduces him to the third man, "Einstein, this is Will. he has an IQ of 80." Einstein turns to Will and says, "Oh, nice to meet you Will! So where do you think interest rates are headed?"

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A jury finds a man not-guilty in court...

During trial much evidence had been produced that showed the defendant to be guilty.
Upon the jury's decision the prosecutor incredulously asked the judge: "Your honor, on what basis could the jury possibly have acquitted the defendant?!"
The judge replied: "Temporary insanity".
To which the prosecutor exclaimed: "All 12 of them?"

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A man is pulled over by a cop...

The cop approaches the car and says, "Sir, step out of the vehicle. You are under arrest. Not only were you speeding well above the limit, but you were driving straight down the middle of the road!"

The man protests, "But officer, I'm allowed to do that! It says so on my driver's license!"

The cop doesn't believe the man, and demands to see where it says that he's allowed to drive so recklessly. The man pulls out his license, which is a temporary license printed on paper, and points to the bottom.

"See? It says right here: tear down the dotted line."

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The Temporary Playground Supervisor

The playground supervisor needs some time off, so Mrs. Smith the Supermom agrees to stand in for her. While Mrs. Smith is supervising, she sees a little girl, by herself, intently watching the other kids play. Mrs. Smith goes up to the little girl and says "They look like they are having fun with that ball."

Little girl says "Yup." Stares at the kids.
Mrs. Smith says "Wouldn't you like to be over there with them?"
Little girl says "Nope." Stares at kids.
Mrs. Smith says "Why? Are you shy?"
Little girl says "Nope. I'm the goalie. Now get the fuck off my pitch."

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I'm thinking of starting a business will use free child labor in exchange for temporary housing.

Although I don't know if I can compete with the Girl Scouts...

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My mom says she dropped me as a baby and got temporary amnesia

What a liar I think I'd remember something so huge about my life.

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Today, I hired a midget to do some temporary house work for me...

She asked to be paid under the table.

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What do Steve Harvey and a dentist have in common?

They're both experts at placing temporary crowns.

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Pain is temporary, pride is forever.

Does not apply to irritable bowel syndrome.

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I really hate permanent markers

Temporary markers though, on the other hand, are remarkable!

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What do suicide and plastic surgery have in common?

They're both temporary solutions for a permanent problem.

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You know what's a permanent solution to a temporary problem...

....eating yourself.

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My friend was in a comma, the he woke up.

I suppose it was a temporary rest.

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My friend was in a coma, then he woke up.

It was a temporary rest.

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What is a name for people who like to blow stuff up?

Temporary

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What should an undercover spy take on a mission involving a temporary sex change?

A one-time pad

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What are the most funny Temporary jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Temporary? Well, here are the best Temporary dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Temporary pick up lines to share with friends.

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