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Temple Jokes

96 temple jokes and hilarious temple puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about temple that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

This article shares a collection of Temple jokes that poke fun at Temple Run and Temple University. Laugh along with stories of robed monks and Buddhists that will make you chuckle. You won't regret a good giggle while reading this temple-themed humor!

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Funniest Temple Short Jokes

Short temple jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The temple humour may include short mosque jokes also.

  1. My body is a temple. What I mean by that is, it looks and feels like something the Romans destroyed 2,500 years ago.
  2. That priest from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom was actually a really inspirational guy. He touched so many hearts.
  3. I'm in a band. We do covers of Stone Sour, Stone Temple Pilots, and The Rolling Stones. We're a rock band.
  4. My girlfriend tells me her body is a temple Everyone's welcome, but you just have to take your shoes off before you enter.
  5. Your body is your temple is a really terrible proverb to promote chastity. Literally anyone can come inside a temple.
  6. I've started disguising landmines as temple doormats. Prophets are going through the roof.
  7. They say your body is a temple, and mine is the Temple of Aphrodite... Destroyed and in ruins
  8. My ex girlfriend used to say that her "body was a temple", what she meant by that was... ...you can't wear shoes when you're inside of her.
  9. I invented a new drink today; basically you start with a Shirley Temple and put a really old cocktail sausage in it. I call it the "Judge Roy Moore".
  10. A bartender walks into... ...a church, a temple and a mosque.
    He has no idea how jokes work.

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Temple One Liners

Which temple one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with temple? I can suggest the ones about palace and cathedral.

  1. What did the Buddhist monk say when asked to leave his temple? 'Nah imma stay.'
  2. A temple for atheists... Is a "nonprophet" organisation.
  3. The temple of the giant sea cow has recently been rebuilt Faith in huge manatee restored
  4. My body is a temple My liver is a battlefield
  5. Did you hear about the temple that burnt down? Holy smokes.
  6. My body is a temple. It requires frequent animal sacrifice.
  7. My body is a temple of the LORD Only the high priest is allowed to come inside.
  8. My body is like a temple... More like a Catholic church. Full of wine, bread, and guilt.
  9. Where was Soloman's temple located? On the side of his head.
  10. Where do head lice go to pray? The temple
    haha.
    -My Friend Devon
  11. My church says to treat my body like a temple. And let all the priests inside.
  12. The Islamic temple I went to had a weird smell... it was a strange mosque
  13. My body is a temple... ... just not the kind you'd pay to visit.
  14. When I go to the bar I get a Lindsey Lohan. It's a Shirley Temple with a lot of coke
  15. I saw a Doric temple in Corinth today Pretty Ionic don't you think?

Shirley Temple Jokes

Here is a list of funny shirley temple jokes and even better shirley temple puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I tried to get drunk off of Shirley Temples But I didn't feel Annie-thing.
  • How was Shirley Temple's kidnapper able to get so much ransom money from her father? He had him by the short and curlies.
  • If a monk were to become a bartender, where would he study? The Shirley Temple
  • Where do fat people go to worship? The Shirley Temple.

People Temple Jokes

Here is a list of funny people temple jokes and even better people temple puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What's The Difference Between People, Who Pray In Temple And People Who Pray In A Casino? Those praying In Casino Are More Serious.
  • I think the phrase, "My body is a temple" is completely untrue... I don't know about other people, but my body is like a Catholic Church It's full of wine, bread and guilt.
  • You know what they say; Your body is a temple, make sure you charge people for entrance.
  • If your body is a temple then dies that mean a bunch of bald people come inside you?
  • Temples are free to enter but still empty. Pubs charge to enter, but are full. People ignore inner peace &choose to pay for self destruction
  • Sikh Temples Must be Boring People are dying to get out of them.
Temple joke, Sikh Temples Must be Boring

Buddhist Temple Jokes

Here is a list of funny buddhist temple jokes and even better buddhist temple puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why didn't the gorilla join the Buddhist temple? It was too monk-y.
  • Two friends are hanging out at a buddhist temple One says to the other "I think im gonna go man, you coming?"
    The other says "nah-mastay"

Temple Run Jokes

Here is a list of funny temple run jokes and even better temple run puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Yo mamma so fat she doesn't play temple run she plays temple roll.
Temple joke

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about temple can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of temple puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Uproarious Temple Jokes to Have a Laugh Out Loud Good Time

What funny jokes about temple you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean tomb jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make temple prank.

A Zen Buddhist and a Christian got in a fight over a neighborhood nativity scene last winter. The Buddhist trashed the 3 Wisemen display right before he went to temple.


They charged him with premeditated myrrhder.

My body is a temple.

My body is a temple. I care about it three to five times a year purely out of guilt.

Why does Godzilla go to temple?

because he's a kaiju

A Jewish kid goes up to his dad...

Son: "Hey papa?"
Father: "Yes, ma' boy?"
Son: "I met this beautiful girl at temple today. I want to take her out. Can I borrow fifty bucks?
Father: "Forty bucks? What the heck are you gonna do with thirty bucks? Do I look like I have twenty bucks heres fifteen now take ten and bring me back five."

Bob Saget walks in to a bar. ..

He joyfully exclaims to the bartender "Tonight I'm celebrating the first successful test of my time machine! Give me a v**... Shirley Temple!"
The bartender looks confused and says "but mister Saget, a Shirley Temple is always a v**...."
Bob Saget winks and says, "Not anymore."

I entered a speaking competition at my jewish temple

I didn't win, but at least i got honorable mensch-en

What do you call Harrison Ford shivering in the corner of the Temple of Doom?

Indiana Jonesing

If your body is a temple, does than mean that bald guys get to come inside you?

I treat my body like a temple..

That's been destroyed by ISIS

A magician calls a man onstage...

and he gives the man a sledgehammer, and he says, "I want you to take this sledgehammer and hit me as hard as you can in the head." The guy says, "Alright." The magician puts his head down on a block a wood and the guy hauls back and BAM! Pops this magician in the temple. Ten years later, the magician wakes up out of a coma in the hospital and goes, "TADAAA!"

Catching imaginary characters

"How much time do you waste catching imaginary characters on your phone" my father said to me as I was playing Pokemon Go.
And then he left for the temple.

Why didn't the monk sell his temple?

*Because it had no monastery value.*

Thought of this one on my own while playing WoW a couple days ago and I'm pretty sure it hasn't been told before. I like corny jokes. I Googled it and didn't find anything (:

I treat my body like a temple.

By that I mean that a bunch of Jewish guys enter me every Friday night.

Did you hear about the druggie who stumbled into a Jewish temple?

He was s**....

I just found out JFK was jewish.

He was shot in the temple.

- Doctor, I want to live very old

- Do you drink?
- Never, only water.
- You smoke?
- Oh no, my body is a temple
- Do you have crazy nights out dancing while doing c**... and coming back home to have unprotected s**... with multiple partners?
- Never, I'm single and abstinent.
- I see. So could you explain me exactly why you want to live old?

"Do you know what my husband said? My body is a temple..."

"...But it's a temple where a lot of pigs get slaughtered."
All credit to Samira Ahmed

Did you know Abraham Lincoln was jewish?

He was shot in the temple

A joke from Israel

o**... is driving his car in Tel-Aviv, looking for a parking spot. It's a busy day, and there's absolutely nothing available. So he starts praying to God. "Please, God, I need a parking space. Help me. I promise to go to the temple every Saturday, I promise to fast on Yom-Kippur, I will give money to charity, anything. Please help me find parking!". And indeed, in a few seconds he sees a car pull out, vacating a great spot. So he says "Okay forget it, I'm all set".

Assume your office is a Temple.

Assume your office is a Temple and your boss is GOD, and you are an athiest for a happy life.

My body is built like a temple

There are many hollow passageways where things enter and leave

What part of the head...

Do Egyptians love most?
The temple

My body is a temple...

...it's sometimes referred to as a house, is usually only active on the weekend and many Jews have been inside it.

My body is a temple;

Most of the time it has a priest in it.

Three friends throw darts for high scores at a pub...

The first dude hits the 20 three times and calls: "SIXTY!"
The second one hits two darts in the 20 and one in the triple 20 and shouts: "ONE HUNDRED!"
When the third guy takes his turn, after throwing a 20 and a triple 20 the third dart deflects off the board and hits a nun sitting at the table next to it right at the temple. The woman immediately drops off her chair and the player goes: "ONE NUN DEAD AND EIGHTY!"

I read a news story recently about a large group of secretive gay vigilantes who founded a temple to the god of sailing that moonlights as a b**... club.

The headline read
"Masked Masc for Masc Masses create Mast Mass for Masochists"

Of course trump will challenge the results. He will not take no for an answer.

Just ask Ivana trump, Jill hearth, Jean carrol, summer zervos, alva Johnson, Jessica leeds, Kristen Anderson, Lisa boyne, Cathy heller, temple McDowell, Amy dorris, Karena Virginia, karen Johnson, mindy mcgillivary, Jennifer Murphy, Rachael crooks, Natasha stoynoff, juillet huddy, Jessica drake, ninni laaksonen, Cassandra searless, Mariah billado, Victoria Hughes, Bridget Sullivan, Tasha Dixon, and Samantha holvey.

Stress relief

Doctor : What do you do when you feel stressed?
Patient: I go to the temple...
Doctor : Good...and u pray there ?
Patient : No... I mix-up all shoes kept outside and watch people more stressed than me..... and my stress goes away

The wish.

One day, a married couple walked into a temple. The preist said "today is a fortunate day for praying, you both pray to god and ask a wish each and it will be granted"
The Wife prays "God, I hope me and my husband stay together for 7 lives"
Husband after listening this, prays "God, may this be the seventh life of us staying together".

Two young boys are seated at the back of the congregation at a m**... temple wedding...

Two young boys are seated at the back of the congregation at a m**... temple wedding when one of them leans over and asks the other:
I'm confused, how many wives are we allowed to have?
His companion mulls it over, Sixteen… I think. *Four better, four worse, four richer, and four poorer.*

So Jesus, God said, You said that when you saw the money-changers in the temple you…turned into a tiny crucifix?

No, Jesus said, I said I became a little cross!

My body is a temple.

And I treat it as if I was a late 19th century archeologist.

A priest, an imam, and a rabbit walk into a bar

The priest has wine, the imam gets a Shirley Temple, and the bartender asks the rabbit, "what'll you have?"
The rabbit responds, "man, I dunno. I'm only here because of autocorrect."

A bunch of s**... dudes decide to play Russian roulette

After they pick who goes first, a guy grabs the p**..., puts it to his head and pulls the trigger — BAAM! — He falls on the ground dead
Everyone is terrified, but they go on.
The second guy grabs the p**..., puts it to his head and pulls the trigger — BAAM! — There is a huge hole in his temple
Finally, the third guy grabs the p**..., puts it to his head, gets ready to pull the trigger... Then he suddenly stops, thinks for a moment and asks:
"Don't they play Russian roulette with revolvers?"

My body is a temple

If you take your shoes off, you can come inside

[Meanwhile, at the Jedi Temple]

[Meanwhile, at the Jedi Temple]
OBI-WAN: [Rubbing his chin] There's only one thing on Dathomir that concerns me
ANAKIN: Which is, Master?
OBI-WAN: Exactly
ANAKIN: .....

A vampire walks into a bar

He tells the bartender he wants a Shirley Temple. The bartender heads to the backroom and a few moments later, he comes out with his drink. The vampire sips his drink and quickly spits it out. "This isn't a Shirley Temple," he tells the bartender. "I can't help it, buddy," the bartender says. "She's been dead for eight years."

A man approaches an ancient temple seeking enlightenment

He hails the monk guarding the gate, "I have come to seek enlightenment for I know nothing"
The monk perks up, "Greetings, what is your name traveler?"
The man smiles, "I am Steve"
The monk laughs, "Lying so soon?"

I went to Japan alone and visited a temple

I went to Japan alone and visited a temple that everyone says miracles could happen after prayers.

Once arrived, I opened my wallet, and poured all my money into the offering box and prayed,
"God, I want a girlfriend, it would be great if she's from Japan, and she likes anime like I do. Please grant my wish."

I went for a coffee afterwards, when I pay for the bill, I saw that all of the money I offered was back in my wallet.

Temple joke, I went to Japan alone and visited a temple

jokes about temple

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these temple jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.