Temple Jokes
90 temple jokes and hilarious temple puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about temple that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article shares a collection of Temple jokes that poke fun at Temple Run and Temple University. Laugh along with stories of robed monks and Buddhists that will make you chuckle. You won't regret a good giggle while reading this temple-themed humor!
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Funniest Temple Short Jokes
Short temple jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The temple humour may include short mosque jokes also.
- My body is a temple. What I mean by that is, it looks and feels like something the Romans destroyed 2,500 years ago.
- That priest from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom was actually a really inspirational guy. He touched so many hearts.
- I'm in a band. We do covers of Stone Sour, Stone Temple Pilots, and The Rolling Stones. We're a rock band.
- My girlfriend tells me her body is a temple Everyone's welcome, but you just have to take your shoes off before you enter.
- Your body is your temple is a really terrible proverb to promote chastity. Literally anyone can come inside a temple.
- I've started disguising landmines as temple doormats. Prophets are going through the roof.
- They say your body is a temple, and mine is the Temple of Aphrodite... Destroyed and in ruins
- My ex girlfriend used to say that her "body was a temple", what she meant by that was... ...you can't wear shoes when you're inside of her.
- I invented a new drink today; basically you start with a Shirley Temple and put a really old cocktail sausage in it. I call it the "Judge Roy Moore".
- A bartender walks into... ...a church, a temple and a mosque.
He has no idea how jokes work.
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Temple One Liners
Which temple one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with temple? I can suggest the ones about palace and cathedral.
- What did the Buddhist monk say when asked to leave his temple? 'Nah imma stay.'
- A temple for atheists... Is a "nonprophet" organisation.
- The temple of the giant sea cow has recently been rebuilt Faith in huge manatee restored
- My body is a temple My liver is a battlefield
- Did you hear about the temple that burnt down? Holy smokes.
- My body is a temple of the LORD Only the high priest is allowed to come inside.
- My body is like a temple... More like a Catholic church. Full of wine, bread, and guilt.
- Where was Soloman's temple located? On the side of his head.
- Where do head lice go to pray? The temple
haha.
-My Friend Devon - My church says to treat my body like a temple. And let all the priests inside.
- The Islamic temple I went to had a weird smell... it was a strange mosque
- My body is a temple... ... just not the kind you'd pay to visit.
- When I go to the bar I get a Lindsey Lohan. It's a Shirley Temple with a lot of coke
- I saw a Doric temple in Corinth today Pretty Ionic don't you think?
- My body is a temple If you take your shoes off, you can come inside
Shirley Temple Jokes
Here is a list of funny shirley temple jokes and even better shirley temple puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I tried to get drunk off of Shirley Temples But I didn't feel Annie-thing.
- How was Shirley Temple's kidnapper able to get so much ransom money from her father? He had him by the short and curlies.
- If a monk were to become a bartender, where would he study? The Shirley Temple
People Temple Jokes
Here is a list of funny people temple jokes and even better people temple puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- You know what they say; Your body is a temple, make sure you charge people for entrance.
- Temples are free to enter but still empty. Pubs charge to enter, but are full. People ignore inner peace &choose to pay for self destruction
Buddhist Temple Jokes
Here is a list of funny buddhist temple jokes and even better buddhist temple puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why didn't the gorilla join the Buddhist temple? It was too monk-y.
- Two friends are hanging out at a buddhist temple One says to the other "I think im gonna go man, you coming?"
The other says "nah-mastay"
Uproarious Temple Jokes to Have a Laugh Out Loud Good Time
What funny jokes about temple you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean tomb jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make temple pranks.
A Zen Buddhist and a Christian got in a fight over a neighborhood nativity scene last winter. The Buddhist trashed the 3 Wisemen display right before he went to temple.
They charged him with premeditated myrrhder.
My body is a temple.
My body is a temple. I care about it three to five times a year purely out of guilt.
Why does Godzilla go to temple?
because he's a kaiju
A Jewish kid goes up to his dad...
Son: "Hey papa?"
Father: "Yes, ma' boy?"
Son: "I met this beautiful girl at temple today. I want to take her out. Can I borrow fifty bucks?
Father: "Forty bucks? What the heck are you gonna do with thirty bucks? Do I look like I have twenty bucks heres fifteen now take ten and bring me back five."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Bob Saget walks in to a bar. ..
He joyfully exclaims to the bartender "Tonight I'm celebrating the first successful test of my time machine! Give me a v**... Shirley Temple!"
The bartender looks confused and says "but mister Saget, a Shirley Temple is always a v**...."
Bob Saget winks and says, "Not anymore."
I entered a speaking competition at my jewish temple
I didn't win, but at least i got honorable mensch-en
does anyone think the temple is hypnotic?
And is that intentional?
What was the most pivotal point in Jesus' ministry?
When he turned the tables on the Temple vendors!
What do you call Harrison Ford shivering in the corner of the Temple of Doom?
Indiana Jonesing
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If your body is a temple, does than mean that bald guys get to come inside you?
I treat my body like a temple..
That's been destroyed by ISIS
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A magician calls a man onstage...
and he gives the man a sledgehammer, and he says, "I want you to take this sledgehammer and hit me as hard as you can in the head." The guy says, "Alright." The magician puts his head down on a block a wood and the guy hauls back and BAM! Pops this magician in the temple. Ten years later, the magician wakes up out of a coma in the hospital and goes, "TADAAA!"
Catching imaginary characters
"How much time do you waste catching imaginary characters on your phone" my father said to me as I was playing Pokemon Go.
And then he left for the temple.
Did you read my mother's retraction of her support of the president over his hyper critical aide's tantrum at the Hindu temple?
It was my mama's Obama's trauma llama Brahma drama reclama.
Why didn't the monk sell his temple?
*Because it had no monastery value.*
Thought of this one on my own while playing WoW a couple days ago and I'm pretty sure it hasn't been told before. I like corny jokes. I Googled it and didn't find anything (:
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you hear about the druggie who stumbled into a Jewish temple?
He was s**....
(My 99 y/o Jewish grandma told me this joke tonight and I have never heard it before) - "Why was Abraham Lincoln Jewish?"
Because he was shot in the temple.
I just found out JFK was jewish.
He was shot in the temple.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
- Doctor, I want to live very old
- Do you drink?
- Never, only water.
- You smoke?
- Oh no, my body is a temple
- Do you have crazy nights out dancing while doing c**... and coming back home to have unprotected s**... with multiple partners?
- Never, I'm single and abstinent.
- I see. So could you explain me exactly why you want to live old?
"Do you know what my husband said? My body is a temple..."
"...But it's a temple where a lot of pigs get slaughtered."
All credit to Samira Ahmed
Did you know Abraham Lincoln was jewish?
He was shot in the temple
Assume your office is a Temple.
Assume your office is a Temple and your boss is GOD, and you are an athiest for a happy life.
If I can't get in your man cave, you won't be allowed in my temple...
That's what she shed...
Your body maybe a temple...
But mine is a trap house
My body is built like a temple
There are many hollow passageways where things enter and leave
What part of the head...
Do Egyptians love most?
The temple
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My body is a temple.
It requires frequent animal sacrifice.
My body is a temple...
...it's sometimes referred to as a house, is usually only active on the weekend and many Jews have been inside it.
My body is a temple;
Most of the time it has a priest in it.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I read a news story recently about a large group of secretive gay vigilantes who founded a temple to the god of sailing that moonlights as a b**... club.
The headline read
"Masked Masc for Masc Masses create Mast Mass for Masochists"
Of course trump will challenge the results. He will not take no for an answer.
Just ask Ivana trump, Jill hearth, Jean carrol, summer zervos, alva Johnson, Jessica leeds, Kristen Anderson, Lisa boyne, Cathy heller, temple McDowell, Amy dorris, Karena Virginia, karen Johnson, mindy mcgillivary, Jennifer Murphy, Rachael crooks, Natasha stoynoff, juillet huddy, Jessica drake, ninni laaksonen, Cassandra searless, Mariah billado, Victoria Hughes, Bridget Sullivan, Tasha Dixon, and Samantha holvey.
Stress relief
Doctor : What do you do when you feel stressed?
Patient: I go to the temple...
Doctor : Good...and u pray there ?
Patient : No... I mix-up all shoes kept outside and watch people more stressed than me..... and my stress goes away
The wish.
One day, a married couple walked into a temple. The preist said "today is a fortunate day for praying, you both pray to god and ask a wish each and it will be granted"
The Wife prays "God, I hope me and my husband stay together for 7 lives"
Husband after listening this, prays "God, may this be the seventh life of us staying together".
So Jesus, God said, You said that when you saw the money-changers in the temple you…turned into a tiny crucifix?
No, Jesus said, I said I became a little cross!
My body is a temple.
And I treat it as if I was a late 19th century archeologist.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A bunch of s**... dudes decide to play Russian roulette
After they pick who goes first, a guy grabs the p**..., puts it to his head and pulls the trigger — BAAM! — He falls on the ground dead
Everyone is terrified, but they go on.
The second guy grabs the p**..., puts it to his head and pulls the trigger — BAAM! — There is a huge hole in his temple
Finally, the third guy grabs the p**..., puts it to his head, gets ready to pull the trigger... Then he suddenly stops, thinks for a moment and asks:
"Don't they play Russian roulette with revolvers?"
[Meanwhile, at the Jedi Temple]
[Meanwhile, at the Jedi Temple]
OBI-WAN: [Rubbing his chin] There's only one thing on Dathomir that concerns me
ANAKIN: Which is, Master?
OBI-WAN: Exactly
ANAKIN: .....
A vampire walks into a bar
He tells the bartender he wants a Shirley Temple. The bartender heads to the backroom and a few moments later, he comes out with his drink. The vampire sips his drink and quickly spits it out. "This isn't a Shirley Temple," he tells the bartender. "I can't help it, buddy," the bartender says. "She's been dead for eight years."
A man approaches an ancient temple seeking enlightenment
He hails the monk guarding the gate, "I have come to seek enlightenment for I know nothing"
The monk perks up, "Greetings, what is your name traveler?"
The man smiles, "I am Steve"
The monk laughs, "Lying so soon?"
I went to Japan alone and visited a temple
I went to Japan alone and visited a temple that everyone says miracles could happen after prayers.
Once arrived, I opened my wallet, and poured all my money into the offering box and prayed,
"God, I want a girlfriend, it would be great if she's from Japan, and she likes anime like I do. Please grant my wish."
I went for a coffee afterwards, when I pay for the bill, I saw that all of the money I offered was back in my wallet.
