Following is our collection of funny Temperature jokes. There are some temperature warm jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these temperature celsius puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Raise the oven's temperature.
I just got off the phone with a friend living in North Dakota near the Canadian Border. He said that since early this morning the snow has been coming down, it is nearly waist high and is still falling. The temperature is dropping way below zero and the north wind is increasing to near gale force. His wife has done nothing but look through the kitchen window and just stare. He says that if it gets much worse, he may have to let her in.
360 degrees
Doesn't exist by definition.
6 Below
Lukewarm
I just got off the phone with my friend in Boston. He said that since early this morning, the snow has been nearly waist high and still falling. The temperature is dropping way below zero and the north wind is increasing to near gale force. His wife has done nothing but look through the kitchen window and just staring. He said, if it gets much worse, he may have to let her in.
At womb temperature!
Two Inuits are out fishing on a kayak. They've been out all day, and the sun's setting. As the temperature drops, they decide to light a campfire on the watercraft, which, unsurprisingly sinks. This just goes to prove that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
The guy is impressed, and he remembers that he had a classmate who moved to Irkutsk. So he finds his number and calls him. "Hey, how are you doing? I heard you have really terrible temperature in Irkutsk, right?" "No, why, we have, like, -5C (23F) here", replies his friend. "Oh, and the weather forecaster says that you have -35!" "Ah, it's probably outside", friend replies.
..it is always room temperature
You can explore temperature thermometer reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean temperature humidity dad jokes. There are also temperature puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Luke Warm.
May the 4th Be With You!
Don't worry. I'm 0K
...the vet said that it would probably be better if I waited outside while she took my dog's temperature.
Should have put it on aloha temperature.
Luke warm.
^^im ^^sorry
Don't worry though, he's 0K.
... having glorious unadulterated sex. Eve decided to go wash up in the river close by. Just as she dipped her toe in the water to feel the temperature, she heard a thundering voice, "Do NOT go into the water!". Eve shrugged, and thought to herself, "What's the worse that could happen?". She waded into the water waist deep.
.... Another thundering voice came from the sky, "Now i'll NEVER get the smell out of the FISH!".
I now let it sit at room temperature for 30 minutes first.
1.) Storing milk at room temperature
2.) Grandparents
3.) Black people in a movie theatre
"Because I'm trying to take your temperature."
But you're just room temperature.
He says: "Cadets, write down: the temperature ofΒ boiling water is 90Β°."
One of the privates replies, "ComradeΒ praporshchik, you're mistaken β it's 100Β°!"
The officer consults his handbook, and then announces, "Right, 100Β°. It is a *right angle*Β that boils at 90Β°."
B: Oh really?
A: No, rectally.
"Honey.. Its Saturday.. you're late..."
"I'm busy with my team in an experiment"
"Whats that?"
"We've just added a derivative of C2H5OH with ambiant temperature H2O and aqueous CO2. To cool this mixture added some super low temperature, solidified H2O, now while waiting for some protein, we are fumigating the lab with vapours of nicotine...
It's 4 or 5 round experiment.. So I will be late."
"Oh dear.. I won't disturb you. Take your time.."
Given the current temperature of the political climate....
Do you think we can all finally agree on climate change?
Flat and room temperature.
Now I don't care what temperature it is
Non existent, but I hope every day.
He was 0K
The Specific Ocean.
A ther-mom-meter
From my 10 year old who had the flu the past couple of days.
Luke warm
No pressure
Wife: Have you noticed he feels a little warm?
Me: Yes, but he is teething, so that is to be expected. He seems to be feeling ok.
Wife: Well I took his temperature just now.
Me: Did you give it back?
Wife: ...
I should have cooked it at aloha temperature.
The temperature, the people, and the IQs.
It was quite an eclipse. The earth's shadow blocked out the sun completely. It got very dark. The temperature dropped. It was eerie. But, after a few hours, I got tired and went inside to sleep.
I hear that there will be another one tonight and every evening next week.
Womb temperature.
I said, Nah, it's probably womb temperature.
Because only a Sith deals in absolutes
Blue, a little below room temperature, and easy to slice
Womb temperature.
...and says to the barman, "I demand one pint of lager. I will pay the full price, provided that the following criteria are met. The beer should be served to me within one minute of ordering, and at a temperature of between 6-9 degrees Celsius. The beer should be served in a clean, cold glass and a beer mat must be provided. If the quality of the provided beer does not meet my high standards, you must agree to refund the full amount charged, and provide any additional financial compensation for any discomfort, stress or time wasted."
The barman looks at the crab and says, "why the big clause?"
It's zero degrees, Kelvin.
CELLsius
Luckily he turned out to be 0K
Lukewarm.
Because tonight I'm dipping into the teens
A thermoometer.
Because, while the temperature is 30Β°, the real feel is in the teens.
My mercury levels were so high I knew the waiter's temperature when he brought the check.
That is why America measures temperature in Fahrenheit.
...you will still be 0K.
Lukewarm.
Homostasis.
A BRRRRR GRRRRR!
...about what would happen if you put a lightsaber in water. Would it break? Would the water heat up or cool? Recent scientists have discovered the water will heat to about the internal temperature of a tauntaun...luke warm.
So I told her to stick it where the sun doesn't shine.
Warm Warm
That's an absolute unit right there
He said I'd be 0K
Luke warm
Seemed appropriate with all the Hoth stuff floating around.
Republicans said the temperature is -40Β° F
And democrats immediately said it was -40Β° C.
The weather goes straight to hail.
It's coal man
room temperature.
Yeah, he will be 0K.
360 degrees.
Trigonometric joke I created myself
Broom Temperature.
I should have put it on Aloha Temperature.
A woman was taking my temperature because of the coronavirus
I was 1.8 meters and she was 1.5 meters, so I got down in knee just for her to take my temperature , and everyone started clapping
They thought that I was proposing
Luke warm
I should have put it on aloha temperature
lukewarm
Credit to my friend James for that.
Don't let them take your forehead temperature at the supermarket, because it erases your memory. I went for macaroni and cheese.
And came home with two cases of beer.
It was the worst case of 3rd degree murder I've ever heard of.
Guess I should cooked it at aloha temperature
The Temperature, the Humidity, the Average Age, and the IQ.
Should've used aloha temperature
Romeostasis.
I should have cooked it on Aloha temperature.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the temperature unsurprisingly jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working temperature climate piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.