I should have cooked it at aloha temperature.
Broom Temperature.
Don't worry though, he's 0K.
Luke Warm.
May the 4th Be With You!
Wife: Have you noticed he feels a little warm?
Me: Yes, but he is teething, so that is to be expected. He seems to be feeling ok.
Wife: Well I took his temperature just now.
Me: Did you give it back?
Wife: ...
Luke warm
Don't worry. I'm 0K
Should have put it on aloha temperature.
I said, Nah, it's probably womb temperature.
Doesn't exist by definition.
I just got off the phone with a friend living in North Dakota near the Canadian Border. He said that since early this morning the snow has been coming down, it is nearly waist high and is still falling. The temperature is dropping way below zero and the north wind is increasing to near gale force. His wife has done nothing but look through the kitchen window and just stare. He says that if it gets much worse, he may have to let her in.
"Honey.. Its Saturday.. you're late..."
"I'm busy with my team in an experiment"
"Whats that?"
"We've just added a derivative of C2H5OH with ambiant temperature H2O and aqueous CO2. To cool this mixture added some super low temperature, solidified H2O, now while waiting for some protein, we are fumigating the lab with vapours of nicotine...
It's 4 or 5 round experiment.. So I will be late."
"Oh dear.. I won't disturb you. Take your time.."
Because only a Sith deals in absolutes
A thermoometer.
Yeah, he will be 0K.
The temperature, the people, and the IQs.
...and says to the barman, "I demand one pint of lager. I will pay the full price, provided that the following criteria are met. The beer should be served to me within one minute of ordering, and at a temperature of between 6-9 degrees Celsius. The beer should be served in a clean, cold glass and a beer mat must be provided. If the quality of the provided beer does not meet my high standards, you must agree to refund the full amount charged, and provide any additional financial compensation for any discomfort, stress or time wasted."
The barman looks at the crab and says, "why the big clause?"
No pressure
...and goes downstairs into the kitchen. It's his birthday. It's the third day of the third month and Harry is thirty three years old. He notices that the kitchen clock has broken and stopped at 3:30am. On the radio, the weather announces that the temperature is 33 degrees. Opening the sporting section of his newspaper, he turns to page three; he sees that a horse called 'Triple Treble' is running in the 3.30. He rings up a bookmaker and puts £333 on it to win.
It comes in third.
Lukewarm
Lukewarm.
Luke warm.
^^im ^^sorry
Luckily he turned out to be 0K
The Specific Ocean.
room temperature.
So I told her to stick it where the sun doesn't shine.
I just got off the phone with my friend in Boston. He said that since early this morning, the snow has been nearly waist high and still falling. The temperature is dropping way below zero and the north wind is increasing to near gale force. His wife has done nothing but look through the kitchen window and just staring. He said, if it gets much worse, he may have to let her in.
Womb temperature.
The guy is impressed, and he remembers that he had a classmate who moved to Irkutsk. So he finds his number and calls him. "Hey, how are you doing? I heard you have really terrible temperature in Irkutsk, right?" "No, why, we have, like, -5C (23F) here", replies his friend. "Oh, and the weather forecaster says that you have -35!" "Ah, it's probably outside", friend replies.
Three professors (a physicist, a chemist, and a statistician) are called in to see their dean. Just as they arrive the dean is called out of his office, leaving the three professors there. The professors see with alarm that there is a fire in the wastebasket.
The physicist says, "I know what to do! We must cool down the materials until their temperature is lower than the ignition temperature and then the fire will go out."
The chemist says, "No! No! I know what to do! We must cut off the supply of oxygen so that the fire will go out due to lack of one of the reactants."
While the physicist and chemist debate what course to take, they both are alarmed to see the statistician running around the room starting other fires. They both scream, "What are you doing?"
To which the statistician replies, "Trying to get an adequate sample size.
... having glorious unadulterated sex. Eve decided to go wash up in the river close by. Just as she dipped her toe in the water to feel the temperature, she heard a thundering voice, "Do NOT go into the water!". Eve shrugged, and thought to herself, "What's the worse that could happen?". She waded into the water waist deep.
.... Another thundering voice came from the sky, "Now i'll NEVER get the smell out of the FISH!".
Now I don't care what temperature it is
That is why America measures temperature in Fahrenheit.
360 degrees
...you will still be 0K.
Luke warm
Seemed appropriate with all the Hoth stuff floating around.
He was 0K
Lukewarm.
A ther-mom-meter
From my 10 year old who had the flu the past couple of days.
Republicans said the temperature is -40° F
And democrats immediately said it was -40° C.
...about what would happen if you put a lightsaber in water. Would it break? Would the water heat up or cool? Recent scientists have discovered the water will heat to about the internal temperature of a tauntaun...luke warm.
"Because I'm trying to take your temperature."
Lukewarm.
1.) Storing milk at room temperature
2.) Grandparents
3.) Black people in a movie theatre
Blue, a little below room temperature, and easy to slice
B: Oh really?
A: No, rectally.
Raise the oven's temperature.
6 Below
Because tonight I'm dipping into the teens
Womb temperature.
That's an absolute unit right there
He said I'd be 0K
Warm Warm
Non existent, but I hope every day.
Two Inuits are out fishing on a kayak. They've been out all day, and the sun's setting. As the temperature drops, they decide to light a campfire on the watercraft, which, unsurprisingly sinks. This just goes to prove that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
It's coal man
360 degrees.
Trigonometric joke I created myself
He says: "Cadets, write down: the temperature of boiling water is 90°."
One of the privates replies, "Comrade praporshchik, you're mistaken — it's 100°!"
The officer consults his handbook, and then announces, "Right, 100°. It is a *right angle* that boils at 90°."
I now let it sit at room temperature for 30 minutes first.
My mercury levels were so high I knew the waiter's temperature when he brought the check.
..it is always room temperature
Given the current temperature of the political climate....
Do you think we can all finally agree on climate change?
It was quite an eclipse. The earth's shadow blocked out the sun completely. It got very dark. The temperature dropped. It was eerie. But, after a few hours, I got tired and went inside to sleep.
I hear that there will be another one tonight and every evening next week.
Because, while the temperature is 30°, the real feel is in the teens.
...the vet said that it would probably be better if I waited outside while she took my dog's temperature.
But you're just room temperature.
At womb temperature!
Flat and room temperature.
A BRRRRR GRRRRR!
Homostasis.
CELLsius
I - SCOLD - BEER !
It's zero degrees, Kelvin.
A rather incompetent nurse is working in her employer's office when she notices how chilly it is. She turns to the doctor and asks "Should I turn up the temperature in here?" The doctor- a very short-tempered man- says "I don't know. It all depends on what type of clothing our customers are wearing," in an attempt to brush her off. The nurse replies, "Well, what type of clothes are they wearing?" Irritated, the doctor peers out into the waiting room. He replies, "My patients are wearing thin."
OK
What's the temperature inside of a ton-ton?
Lukewarm.
Carefully
It's all about being acclimated to the womb temperature.
Students in an advanced Biology class were taking their mid-term exam. The last question was, 'Name seven advantages of Mother's Milk.' The question was worth 70 points or none at all.
One student, in particular, was hard put to think of seven advantages. However, he wrote:
1) It is perfect formula for the child.
2) It provides immunity against several diseases.
3) It is always the right temperature.
4) It is inexpensive.
5) It bonds the child to mother, and vice versa.
6) It is always available as needed.
And then the student was stuck.
Finally, in desperation, just before the bell rang indicating the end of the test, he wrote:
7) It comes in two attractive containers and it's high enough off the ground where the
cat can't get it.
He got an A.
Stupid bi-polar vortex
The weather goes straight to hail.
Lukewarm
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