Temperature Jokes

Funniest Temperature Short Jokes

Short temperature jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The temperature humour may include short heat jokes also.

1. I like Florida. Everything is in the 80s: The people, the temperature, and the average IQ.
2. Did you hear about the guy who burnt his house down buy overcooking a Hawaiian pizza? ###He should have cooked it at aloha temperature...
   I know where the door is.
3. if you put a man in a place where the temperature is -273.15°C for a while, will he be alright? Yeah, he will be 0K.
4. In what way is ice cream like a first date? You're a psychopath if you eat either at room temperature.
5. when you visit America, what will the temperature of the water be? It depends what state it's in
6. What do a neckbeard and a cold beverage have in common? They get sweaty sitting at room temperature.
7. Warning. Don't let them take your forehead temperature at the supermarket, because it erases your memory. I went for macaroni and cheese.
   And came home with two cases of beer.
8. What do you call a sea that prefers the temperature outside to be between 31.2 °C and 33.1 °C? The Specific Ocean.
9. My mother in law complained that the thermometer I gave her (which she hung in a very sunny spot) wasn't showing an accurate temperature. So I told her to stick it where the sun doesn't shine.
10. Turns out that Roy Moore is having a bad influence on weather in Alabama. The temperatures are flirting with the teens this week.

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Temperature One Liners

Which temperature one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with temperature? I can suggest the ones about altitude and pressure.

1. I used to do drugs in the 90s. Now I don't care what the temperature is.
2. Burnt my Hawaiian pizza today.. I should have cooked it at aloha temperature.
3. How warm is a janitor's closet? Broom Temperature.
4. My friend's body temperature is currently -273.15 °C Don't worry though, he's 0K.
5. What's the internal temperature of a tauntaun? Luke Warm.
   May the 4th Be With You!
6. I have a temperature of -273.15°C Don't worry. I'm 0K
7. My girlfriend is like the temperature of a molecule. Doesn't exist by definition.
8. What do you use to take a cow's temperature? A thermoometer.
9. I need you to make a container with finite temperature and infinite volume No pressure
10. What's the internal temperature of a Ton-ton? Lukewarm
11. What's Darth Vader's least favorite temperature? Luke warm.
    ^^im ^^sorry
12. A necrophiliac would say: "I like my coffee like I like my women... room temperature.
13. When asked the temperature I enjoy giving it in Kelvin. I'm losing my friends by degrees.
14. What's the temperature in a taun taun? lukewarm
    
15. My IQ really is room temperature Its 120F please help me i'm dying

Room Temperature Jokes

Here is a list of funny room temperature jokes and even better room temperature puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• My new thermos is incredible... Four days ago I filled it with room temperature water, and it's *still* room temperature.
• Researchers in Canada have reported finding a superconductor that they say works at room temperature.
• [WARNING, spoilers ahead!] 1.) Storing milk at room temperature
  2.) Grandparents
  3.) Black people in a movie theatre
• I quit smoking cold turkey. I now let it sit at room temperature for 30 minutes first.
• No matter what temperature your room is.. ..it is always room temperature
• At the age of 94, my grandma is like a fine wine... She's best just left on her side at around room temperature.
• The only thing that bakes at room temperature. Stoners.
• I like my Scotch like I like my women. Room temperature.
  And you were thinking 12 years old.

Cold Temperature Jokes

Here is a list of funny cold temperature jokes and even better cold temperature puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Why are California almond farmers so concerned about the record cold temperatures? They don't want their nuts to freeze off.
• What do you call a sandwich that is not well-liked at cold temperature? A BRRRRR GRRRRR!
• Showerthought: My lukewarm beer and my ice cold coffee have the same temperature. Maybe I should stop getting drunk at 9 am.
• Cold weather makes my hands go numb. After the temperatures get extremely low, they're just numbers.

Body Temperature Jokes

Here is a list of funny body temperature jokes and even better body temperature puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• If your body temperature decreased to -273 C°... ...you will still be 0K.
• Hey, do you want to come back to my place and regulate our body temperatures using external sources? No hom(e)o(stasis)
• I asked a scientist what would happen if my body temperature hit absolute zero. He said I'd be 0K
• Why are normal human body temperatures around 98.7*F? Because we're all a little obtuse.
• I'm so ill, my body temperature is 39° celsius One more celsius and I'm votka!
• I can describe my height and body temperature in one word: Fahrenheit.

Hot Temperature Jokes

Here is a list of funny hot temperature jokes and even better hot temperature puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I went to a hot spring today. Their water temperature was too low. It was a tepid experience.
• I met a girl who was looking hot and I said to her: Your temperature is high today,as usual got weird reaction.

Hilarious Fun Temperature Jokes That Will Have You Rolling with Laughter

What funny jokes about temperature you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean degree jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make temperature pranks.