The Best 48 Temper Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Temper jokes. There are some temper stress jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these temper testy puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Temper Jokes and Puns

What temperature do you bake two pies?

360 degrees

Pilot Choice

As the crowded airliner is about to take off, the peace is shattered by a five-year-old boy who picks that moment to throw a wild temper tantrum. No matter what his frustrated, embarrassed mother does to try to calm him down, the boy continues to scream furiously and kick the seats around him. Suddenly, from the rear of the plane, an elderly man in the uniform of an Air Force General is seen slowly walking forward up the aisle. Stopping the flustered mother with an upraised hand, the white-haired, courtly, soft-spoken General leans down and, motioning toward his chest, whispers something into the boy's ear.

Instantly, the boy calms down, gently takes his mother's hand, and quietly fastens his seat belt.

All the other passengers burst into spontaneous applause. As the General slowly makes his way back to his seat, one of the cabin attendants touches his sleeve.

"Excuse me, General," she asks quietly, "but could I ask you what magic words you used on that little boy?"

The old man smiles serenely and gently confides, "I showed him my pilot's wings, service stars, and battle ribbons, and explained that they entitle me to throw one passenger out the plane door, on any flight I choose."

What is the temperature of the average coffin?

6 Below

Temper joke, What is the temperature of the average coffin?

My father held his temper very well....

Every time we would get mad, he would just count to 100.

Then take my head out of the water.

My manager at the millinery has a really short temper

I mean he gets really angry at the drop of a hat!


I have a temperature of -273.15°C

Don't worry. I'm 0K

What is the difference between Donald Duck and Donald Trump?

One is a cartoon character with a hot temper and the other is a duck.

Temper joke, What is the difference between Donald Duck and Donald Trump?

What's the temperate inside of a ton-ton?

What's the temperature inside of a ton-ton?

Lukewarm.

My dad had the worst temper when he watched sports. One day it got so bad he ripped off his shirt and began shouting racial slurs...

Really ruined my little league game.

People say Frankenstein's monster had a temper,

but actually he was surprisingly level headed.

I have a really bad temper.

I once punched a man with a lazy eye just for looking at me wrong.

You can explore temper anger reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean temper demeanor dad jokes. There are also temper puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


A: Took my temperature today.

B: Oh really?
A: No, rectally.

I am for temperance...

... but I don't exaggerate it.

It was fortunate that Hillary had a moderator

Lester temper get out of hand.

My daughter was throwing one of her temper tantrums when she shouted at me...

"Well sorry for being born!"

I looked her straight in the eyes and said, "It's all right, just don't do it again."

Why was the steel angry?

Because it lost it's temper.

Temper joke, Why was the steel angry?

Why did the doctor lose his temper?

because he ran out of patients.

Which candy is the angriest?

Temper mints.

Why didn't the other metals want to hang out with the hard steel?

Because of his hot temper


What is the keyboard shortcut to becoming an idiot who throws temper tantrums like a child?

Alt-right.

What temperature is best for helping babies grow?

Womb temperature.

How do you take the temperature of a gorilla ?

With great caution.

What do you use to take a cow's temperature?

A thermoometer.

How do you take a lion's temperature?

Carefully

What is the temperature of the inside of a Taun-Taun?

Luke warm.

What is the temperature of a tauntaun?

A pregnant woman with a ferocious temper...

What do you call a midget with a bad temper?

SHORT tempered

What temperature are babies cooked in?

Womb temperature

Historically, the Inuit are one of the few groups of people who never lose their temper. After decades of research, scientists were able to figure out why...

They're nomads.

Why did the sword's wife leave him?

He had quite the temper.

My wife went shopping and we got into a fight

My wife went shopping and we got into a fight when she came home.

She spent $1000 on a bag of pasta. I couldn't believe it, and I lost my temper.

But she reassured me that it would be worth every penne.

NSFW. A girl catches her boyfriend having sex with her mother.

She loses her temper and starts shouting at both of them.
The boyfriend says "It's your fault for calling me daddy all the time"

What's the temperature of a light saber?

Warm Warm

Did you hear the one about Hitler's temper?

He was Fuhrerious.

Men are like steel

They're useless when they lose their temper

The temperature is so cold outside...

that if you make your girlfriend wet, you also make her hard.

Anti-Vaxx parents hate it when you call their toddler's outbursts a "temper tantrum."

They prefer the term "mid-life crisis"

What happens when the temperature drops during a torrential rain?

The weather goes straight to hail.

You guys see that new hairy guy who started last week?? Moving slow, bad temper, and you can't understand a word he's saying..

C'mon guys, take it easy on him.. He'll get it soon enough, he's still just a Wookie..

Sorry about the temperature down the mine today

It's coal man

What temperature do you bake 2pi?

360 degrees.

Trigonometric joke I created myself

What do call it when a toddler with antivax parents throws a temper tantrum?

A midlife crisis

I tried to build a car out of spaghetti, my wife lost her temper and said it would never work and threatened to leave me, anyway, you should have seen her face when I drove pasta. After a while my obsession got the better of me and she walked out..

Now I'm feeling cannelloni.

What temperature does a caterpillar like?

Worm Temperature

What's the temperature in a taun taun?

lukewarm

Credit to my friend James for that.

What do yo call a tall, muscular Irishman with a temper that you shouldn't mess with?

Liam Malone

My 7yr old son told me this tonight. What do you call a snowman temper tantrum?

A meltdown


*edit* Thanks for the silver, its greatly appreciated

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the temper temperamental jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working temper outburst piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes