Temp Jokes
42 temp jokes and hilarious temp puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about temp that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Need a break from the corporate grind? Check out this collection of temperature-related jokes that are sure to make you laugh. From humorous tales of cold office temperature wars to jokes about employees who excel in the hottest conditions, these joke provide a fun way to break the ice in any work environment.
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Funniest Temp Short Jokes
Short temp jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The temp humour may include short daytime jokes also.
- A coworker named Celcius recently retired from my company, so they hired a guy called Kelvin to replace him. He's the new temp.
- My coworker, Kelvin, recently retired from the weather station and was replaced by a new guy named Celsius He's the new temp.
- A coworker named Celsius recently retired at my work, so they hired a guy named Kelvin to replace him. He's the new temp.
- A coworker of mine, Celsuis recently retired. The company hired a guy named Kelvin to replace him. He's the new temp!
- How do you win one of Arizona's largest city's noodle counting contest? You've got to have the right Tempe-ramen-tally
- No wonder the devil has so much wealth to temp people with... He's been laundering money in an off-sheol account.
- My friend got a job at a temp agency, getting a job giving people jobs So he's basically a p**...
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Temp One Liners
Which temp one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with temp? I can suggest the ones about timing and times.
- The nurse sauntered in with the thermometer... She was here to temp me.
- My substitute teacher gave off fishy vibes. One describes it as temp-aura.
- I once had a job to measure how long it takes to cook a steak. It was temp-or-rarey
- I once had a temp job at a prune processing plant It was a plumb assignment
- Why did Freddy Mercury stay home from school? He had a temp of 200 degrees Farenheit.
- "Why is everyone talking about me? They seem mad..." -Temp worker at Foot Locker
Ridiculous Temp Jokes to Spark Fun and Laughter
What funny jokes about temp you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean term jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make temp pranks.
What temperature do you bake two pies?
360 degrees
What is the temperature of the average coffin?
6 Below
I have a temperature of -273.15°C
Don't worry. I'm 0K
went to a temporary tatoo parlor
it wouldn't wash off so I went back to complain but the shop was gone.
Surgeon's joke.
There used to be a rule that in order to get into anesthesia, applicants had to have an IQ greater than their body temp. For a while they couldn't get any new anesthesia trainees because nobody would pass.
Then they decided to switch from farenheit to celsius, and now there's a lot of them.
Where was Soloman's temple located?
On the side of his head.
I guess some things will never change...
I hired a temp while my secretary was on maternity leave.
Trying to arrive at an agreeable wage, I asked what she expected to earn.
She said, "Well... the minimum I could work for is $400 a week.
"I told her I'd give her that much with pleasure. She shook her head and replied,
"With pleasure, it'll be $600 a week."
What's the temperate inside of a ton-ton?
What's the temperature inside of a ton-ton?
Lukewarm.
A: Took my temperature today.
B: Oh really?
A: No, rectally.
I am for temperance...
... but I don't exaggerate it.
What do Tempurpedic mattresses and raptors have in common?
"They remember"
My body's a tempel
But only because it hates Palestine
A tempting offer
I was tempted by an offer which read, Sausage Biscuits 2 for $1.00".
"How much is it for one? I asked.
"75 cents , she replied.
"Ok, I'll have the other one".
A temple for atheists...
Is a "nonprophet" organisation.
What temperature is best for helping babies grow?
w**... temperature.
What do you use to take a cow's temperature?
A thermoometer.
How do you take a lion's temperature?
Carefully
What temperature are babies cooked in?
w**... temperature
I was really tempted to say mean things about an obese animal
But I decided not to because that would be hippo-critical.
What's the temperature of a light saber?
Warm Warm
The temperature is so cold outside...
that if you make your girlfriend wet, you also make her hard.
What happens when the temperature drops during a torrential rain?
The weather goes straight to hail.
Sorry about the temperature down the mine today
It's coal man
What temperature do you bake 2pi?
360 degrees.
Trigonometric joke I created myself
What temperature does a caterpillar like?
Worm Temperature
What's the temperature in a taun taun?
lukewarm
Credit to my friend James for that.
What is the temperature inside of a ton ton
About Luke warm (this is my dads joke)
What is the temperature inside of a tauntaun?
Luke warm
The temple of the giant sea cow has recently been rebuilt
Faith in huge manatee restored
