The Best 47 Tellin Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Tellin jokes. There are some tellin showin jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these tellin yer puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Tellin Jokes and Puns

"You're telling me that I'm losing my job because Donald Trump won the election? WHY, BECAUSE I'M BLACK?!"

"Mister President, we've been over this..."

As I was telling my grandfather goodnight over the phone, he proceeded to tell me "the height of conceit."

Which in his own words:

"You know the height of conceit son? A flea floating on his back down a river, sporting a hard-on, yelling 'OPEN THE DRAWBRIDGE' "

That man.

I tried telling my friend from down south how becoming blood brothers works.

He couldn't understand the concept because they were all related already.

Tellin joke, I tried telling my friend from down south how becoming blood brothers works.

I tried telling a pun to a group of kleptomaniacs..

..but they kept taking things literally

I keep telling my Grandma that she needs hearing aids...

...but she just won't listen.


I was telling my Asian friend about my phone

I told my Asian friend that was fresh off the boat about how I can push a button on my phone and tell it to do something and it does it. He said "That's just Siri"

how do you know someone got an iphone?

he's tellin you

Tellin joke, how do you know someone got an iphone?

They keep telling me to submit a strong resume, but

RESUME is getting me nowhere!

Telling a girl she has nice hair is not sexual harassment

Unless you're a dwarf

I tried telling him to stop eating Canadian provinces

But he's having Nunavut

Thanks for telling me what BOGO means...

It means a great deal to me.

You can explore tellin marys reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean tellin prayers dad jokes. There are also tellin puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Thank you for telling me the definition of "many".

It means alot.

Telling a girl to calm down:

works about as well as trying to baptize a cat.

I like telling science puns...

Just to see the reaction...

Telling a racist joke is like getting in a car with an asian driver

If they are not really good, there's a very good chance you'll crash and burn.

Everyone keeps telling me that the holocaust happened..

But I don't know if it Israel.

Don't go around telling people what Teresa Ripoll is an anagram of before they've solved it.

Spoiler alert

Telling your parents your a philosophy major is like reading them poetry

They snap

I was telling a great joke about the importance of the guillotine in the French Revolution...

But it didn't really land.
I guess execution really is key


So I was telling my dad

That the entire team that worked on finding Nemo had to take fish biology 101. Then he says "so does it ever bother you that the fish are talking?"

That was the hardest I laughed in a while

Telling a dark joke is like saying "I love you"

Some people haven't heard it before.

I was telling my wife about how diabetes runs in my family.

She told me, "Don't be silly, nobody runs in your family."

There's a way of telling if an orange is male or female…

If it squirts you in your eye without warning, it's a male.

If it's bitter for no apparent reason, it's a female.

Why is everyone always telling me to invest in a retirement program?

If I have them rotated every 6000 miles like I'm supposed to I shouldn't have to re-tire in the first place.

I've been telling him too many dad jokes apparently.

Wife: I was feeling sad because the sun went away.

10-year old boy: I'm right here!

I always seem to be telling jokes at the most inappropriate moments.

For years I've been attempting to suppress my gag reflex.

When someone is telling you to hold your horses,

They're telling you to be stable.

Telling someone that you work in IT support can be such a turn off...

And then a turn on again.

They keep telling me to put on my seat belt to keep me safe during an accident

But don't they know the safest place during an accident is outside the car.

Why is telling flat earth society jokes so hard?

Because they are too stupid to understand.

I tried telling a joke to this blind guy...

...but I don't think he saw the humor in it.

Telling a joke is like food in a third-world country,

Some people just won't get it.

Everyone keeps telling me the polite thing to do is to open a door for a woman...

But she just screamed and fell out of the plane.

So you're telling me you don't like foreplay...

but you let your dishes soak for days before finally doing them?

I tried telling a traffic sign to turn. It said "No, ...

U Turn"

I kept telling a pun to the passersby during a marathon

It was a running joke.

I tried telling a joke in zero gravity.

It didn't go down well.

What do you say after telling a really bad eye joke?

Corny uh?

I was telling a suicide joke today when I realized...

It really killed the mood

I was telling my girlfriend a joke about inflation, but she didn't get it.

It really fell flat.

Thanks for telling me the meaning of plethora

It means a lot

I keep telling my kids that limousine jokes are the funniest kind.

They think it's bit of a stretch though

Without telling my wife, I bought a gaming pc for my son as a birthday gift. Check out the specs: Intel Core i7 10700K, MSI MPG Z490 Gaming Carbon WiFi, Nvidia GeForce RTX 2080 Super, G.Skill TridentZ RGB 4x16 DDR4-4000, Samsung 970 Evo 1TB, Corsair RM850x, Cooler Master MasterLiquid ML240R RGB

He is turning one tomorrow.

I kept telling chernobyl jokes to my russian friend

But every one went straight over his heads

Telling a dad joke when you're not a father...

...is a bit of a faux Pa.

I was telling my friend about an officially Jewish country, and she said it was fake.

I said it Israel.

Without telling me you're married, tell me you're married.

I'll start with I'm sorry, you're right

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the tellin lookin jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working tellin brenda piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes