telegraph Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious telegraph puns


A dog walks into a telegraph office, puts $1 on the counter and says:
"Woof woof woof, woof woof, woof woof woof woof"

The operator says to the dog "Its $1 for 10 words, shall I put another woof on there?"

The dog then says "But then that wouldn't make any sense!"


Dog walks into a telegraph office...

Clerk says, "What's your message?"

Dog says, "Woof woof, woof woof woof, woof woof woof woof."

Clerk says, "You know, for the same price, you can fit one more 'woof' in."

Dog replies, "But that wouldn't make any sense."


A dog goes into a telegraph office

A dog goes into a telegraph office, takes a blank form, and writes: Woof Woof. Woof Woof. Woof Woof. Woof Woof, Woof.

The clerk examines the paper and politely tells the dog: There are only nine words here. You could send another 'Woof' for the same price.

The dog looks confused and replies, But that would make no sense at all."


A dog walks into a telegraph office

He goes up to the counter and asks to send a message. It reads "woof, woof, woof." The lady says you know, for the same price, you could add another woof.

The dog gives her a confused look and says "but that would make no sense!"


Paddy the irishman gets a job

Paddy and his friend were hired to install telegraph poles.
After his first day his boss approaches and asks how many poles he put down yesterday.
paddy says "2"
"2!!" says his boss, "My other guys can put 10-15 poles in a day"
"yes, but do you see how far theirs are sticking out of the ground"


What are the three fastest forms of communication?

Telephone, telegraph, tell a woman.



A dog walked into a telegraph office and said, Woof, woofโ€ฆ woof, woof, woof โ€ฆ woof, woof, woof, woof!

The telegraph operator looked at the dog. Do you know , said he, If you add another 'woof' then the cost of the telegram will be cheaper?"

The dog looked at the telegraph operator and answered, But that wouldn't make sense now, would it?


What are the three fastest methods of communication?



Tell a woman


american , Japanese, Indian travelling together

**American :** Know what when we dug up our ancient cites we found these thick cables...U know what this means?

**Indian & Japanese** : NO.. tell us.

**American :** This means Telegraph was 1st used here

**Japanese not to be outdone :** When we dug our ancient cities we found these thin wires ... know what this means
**American & Indian :** ... no .. tell us

**Japanese: means we invented the telephone

*Both The ame**rican and the Japanese now look at the Indian with a smile*

**Indian :** Well we dug and found nothing ... know what that means

**The other 2:** no ... tell us

**Indian : **Who do you think invented wireless


I know a telegraph operator who was so bad he always had to send his messages again.

He had a lot of remorse about that.


How do telegraph operators apologize?

Remorse code


A dog walks into a telegraph office

The clerk says, "What's your message?"

The dog says, "Woofwoofwoof woof woof, woof woof woof woof."

Thr clerk says, "You know what? I'll let you add in one more 'woof' in for the same price"

To which the dog replies, "But that wouldn't make any sense."


The telegraph must be the most heartless invention...

...because Samuel had no remorse.


The three modes of communication

Telegraph and
Tell a woman


Help with telegraph/Morse code joke

I am doing a presentation on the Telegraph and my teacher is a sucker for a good joke/pun. Any help?


What did Samuel Morse say when he finished building his sexy, new telegraph transmitter?

"I'd tap that!"


How do you have phone sex over a telegraph line?

Oh baby, don't stop. STOP.


I've been told the telegraph operator who repeats himself

Has re-morse.


Before telephones were invented, fighting couples would actually make up over telegraph.

But first they had to learn re-Morse code.


I'm not saying your mom's an old slut but...

..the bitch gets booty calls on a telegraph.


What do you call two telegraph poles standing together?



A study in the Daily Telegraph says that women have better verbal skills than men

I just want to say to the authors of that study: Duh!


What's the three fastest ways of communication?

Telephone, telegraph, and tell-a-woman.


What are the most funny Telegraph jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Telegraph? Well, here are the best Telegraph dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Telegraph pick up lines to share with friends.


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