Telegram Jokes
15 telegram jokes and hilarious telegram puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about telegram that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article has everything about funny telegram jokes for weddings and other events! Find out about the best telegram non veg jokes, telegram channels for materialist jokes, telegram bot for weddings, funny telegram jokes for cable jokes, and more. Get ready to make your upcoming event a hit with these hilarious telegram jokes!
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Funniest Telegram Short Jokes
Short telegram jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The telegram humour may include short chat jokes also.
- Oldie - -Communist China telegrams Soviet Russia Communist China:
WE ARE OUT OF FOOD. SEND GRAIN
Soviet reply:
WE ARE ALSO OUT OF FOOD. TIGHTEN YOUR BELTS
Communist China:
SEND BELTS - What are the three quickest ways of spreading a rumour (or gossip). Telegram
Telephone
Tell a woman
Perhaps not very politically correct in the times we live in, but worth a slight chuckle. - Telegram from Putin to Kolinda (president of croatia) CONGRATULATIONS STOP GREAT GAME STOP YOU WERE BETTER STOP GAS STOP OIL STOP TOURISTS STOP INVESTMENTS STOP
- I felt so bad about what happened that I sent two telegrams apologizing. I guess I had to express my re-morse.
- What are four ways of spreading information that begins with "tel"? Telephone, telegram, television, and tell a woman.
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Telegram One Liners
Which telegram one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with telegram? I can suggest the ones about twitter and telephone.
- There are three ways to spread news telegram, television and tellawoman.
- What do you call a death threat sent by telegram? A kilogram!
- Where to find most dumb and impatient people? Telegram group of crypto currencies.

Cheerful Telegram Jokes for Unforgettable Laughter with Friends!
What funny jokes about telegram you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean tweet jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make telegram pranks.
This Goat walks into a post office
And says to the Postmaster "I need to send a telegram."
The Postmaster says "OK, what is it?"
The Goat says "I need it to say, maa maa maa maa maa maa maa." The Postmaster counts the words and says "Well, for the same price, I can put 4 more "MAAs" in for you."
The Goat looks at him and says "But then it wouldn't make any sense."
Woof
A German Shepherd went to a Western Union telegram office, took out a blank form and wrote:
"Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof."
The clerk examined the paper and politely told the dog, "There are only nine words here. You could send another "Woof" for the same price."
"But," the dog replied, "That would make no sense at all."
A man has to leave the country..
A man has to leave the country on business and he entrusts with his best friend the job of keeping an eye on his wife. If anything out of the ordinary should occur, he was to be notified immediately.
After about a week of no news the business man received a telegram: "The man who comes to visit your wife every night didn't show up yesterday..."
A dog walks into a telegram office and walks up to the counter.
The guy at the counter says: What would you like to write on your telegram today dog?
The dog goes: woof, woof, woof woof woof woof, woof woof, woof.
The guy writes it down and says: Listen, dog, we have a special on telegrams today. For ten words we've got a special deal but you've only got nine words, we can add an extra woof for free if you'd like.
Then the dog says: Well yeah but then it wouldn't make any sense.
Telegram
A dog walked into a telegraph office and said, Woof, woof… woof, woof, woof … woof, woof, woof, woof!
The telegraph operator looked at the dog. Do you know , said he, If you add another 'woof' then the cost of the telegram will be cheaper?"
The dog looked at the telegraph operator and answered, But that wouldn't make sense now, would it?
Just after WWII begins the commander of one of African garrisons recieves a telegram:
''The war is declared, immidiately find and arrest all enemies in your area.''
After some time he sends a performance report:
''The order was executed. 4 Germans, 2 French, 1 Belgian, 3 Americans were arrested. Please, immidiately report who are we at war with.''
A dog walks in a telegram office
He takes a piece of paper and writes:
"Woof woof, woof. Woof woof woof, woof."
He then gives it to the clerk. The clerk looks at it and politely says to the dog, "You can write three extra woofs for the same price."
The dog looks confused and says,
"But that would make no sense at all!"
A dog goes into a post office to send a telegram...
The clerk gives him the relevant form and he goes to the desk to fill it in.
When he has finished he hands it back to the clerk with the fee and the clerk reads it through.
The message reads Woof woof, woof woof woof; woof woof, woof woof woof.
The clerk then tells the dog that, at no extra cost, he could have another 'woof' in the message.
The dog replies, Yes, I know, but then it wouldn't make any sense!
A blonde and a brunette inherit their parent's ranch but they soon run into money trouble
The brunette says "I'll go to town to buy a bull to produce offspring then send you a telegram when I'm done."
So she gets the bull, goes to the telegram office but she only has enough money left for 1 word. She tells the man at the office to send the word "Comfortable" and he says she'll never know what that means.
So the brunette says "My sister's a blonde so she'll read the word very slowly: Com-for-tha-bull."
Short message telegram
In days past, pre- phones and faxes and emails, a group of young ladies went on a picnic.
Unfortunately, the picnic was cut short as one of their group, Anna, sat down on an anthill and was rushed to hospital (Accident and Emergency in the UK).
Her friends needed to inform Anna's parents, but only had enough money to send a six word telegram (in addition to the address).
The telegram read, "Anacin hospital adamant bitter asinine places."
