The Best 52 Tele Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Tele jokes. There are some tele sung jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these tele tvs puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Tele Jokes and Puns
Telegram
A dog walked into a telegraph office and said, Woof, woof… woof, woof, woof … woof, woof, woof, woof!
The telegraph operator looked at the dog. Do you know , said he, If you add another 'woof' then the cost of the telegram will be cheaper?"
The dog looked at the telegraph operator and answered, But that wouldn't make sense now, would it?
My telescope broke the other day and I was hoping the local observatory could repair it
They said they'd look into it.
Telekinesis
It's the thought that counts.
Why do Televisions have buttons?
because they cant have zippers
Telegraph
A dog walks into a telegraph office, puts $1 on the counter and says:
"Woof woof woof, woof woof, woof woof woof woof"
The operator says to the dog "Its $1 for 10 words, shall I put another woof on there?"
The dog then says "But then that wouldn't make any sense!"
Why are there no televised fights about the environment?
There's too much Gore
The telephone rings, and the little boy answers it.
"Are your Mom or Dad home?" asks the lady at the other end of the line.
"They was in earlier, but now they is out," replied the little boy.
"My," said the lady. "Where's your grammar!"
The boy replied, "She's upstairs napping."
I know a telegraph operator who was so bad he always had to send his messages again.
He had a lot of remorse about that.
Help with telegraph/Morse code joke
I am doing a presentation on the Telegraph and my teacher is a sucker for a good joke/pun. Any help?
Telephone - Funny Joke
A teenage girl had been talking on the phone for about half an hour, and then she hung up.
"Wow!," said her father, "That was short. You usually talk for two hours. What happened?"
"Wrong number," replied the girl.
Two television antennas got married...
The service was a bit confused, but the reception was fantastic 😂
You can explore tele smirnoff reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean tele television dad jokes. There are also tele puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Because telescopes work using mirrors...
We'll never know if there are any space vampires.
How do telegraph operators apologize?
Remorse code
I used to be a telemarketer
I phone up one of my usual numbers and a little boy answers the phone.
"Are you parents home, young man?" I ask.
I hear him drop the phone and burst into tears. I wait a few seconds until someone pick up the phone. An elderly voice at the end of the line barks back at me:
"For the last time, this is an orphanage. PLEASE stop calling."
Why do telescopes like the Moon so much?
Because they find him very down to earth.
My new television is really hyperactive.
It's an ADHDTV.
A telephone rang. "Hello! Is your phone number 444-4444?"
"Yes, it is," came the reply.
"Thank Goodness! Could you call 911 for me? I super-glued my finger to the phone."
So I telephoned BT to report a nuisance caller.
The woman on the line said "Not you again."
If you are telekinetic,
raise my hand.
Only telepathic people will understand this pun.
I'll see myself out.
I wish teleportation was possible..
I would never get late to the airport and lose my flight again...
All those with telekinetic powers raise my hand.
Wow! I wasn't expecting that!
A telecoms engineer joins the army...
On the shooting range the Sergeant shows him the distant target and tells him to fire six rounds, which he does. The Sarge walks all the way to the target and shouts back "You haven't hit it at all!" The telecoms guy puts his finger over the end of the barrel, pulls the trigger and blows his finger clean off and shouts back:- "It's leaving here ok - the problem must be at your end!"
Does the telephone remind you of anything?
No, but it rings a bell
If you think you have telekinetic powers like Carrie White's then you should ...
Keep calm and NOT Carrie ON ....!
The teletubbies are for everyone.
Small people and high people
What is a Telecom Executives favourite finishing move?
A Cream Pai
If they are any telekinetics in the room
Please raise my hand
Why is television called a medium?
Because it isn't rare and is never quite well done
Why are telescopes pointing away from earth?
Because they are searching for intelligent life.
Teleports behind you
We've updated our Privacy & Policy
The telegraph must be the most heartless invention...
...because Samuel had no remorse.
Why do televangelists go to church every Sunday?
To pray on the week.
Television was never really black and white before color
It was basically just 50 shades of gray
Telegram from Putin to Kolinda (president of Croatia)
CONGRATULATIONS STOP GREAT GAME STOP YOU WERE BETTER STOP GAS STOP OIL STOP TOURISTS STOP INVESTMENTS STOP
How do Italian kids watch cartoons?
On their Taglia Tele
I took a course in telepathy, now I know what you're thinking...
What is a children's television show centered on the imaginary adventures of comatose Christians be called?
Veggie Tales!
Veggie Tales!
Veggie Tales!
Why do the teletubbies go to the toilet at the same time?
They only have 1 Tinky-Winky
I like The Teletubbies..
It's my favourite TV show about four chubby aliens that live on a giant miniature golf course.
How did they know which Teletubby was gay?
Tinky Winky had a stinky dinky
I saw a telephone wire starting to fall on someones car the other day on my way home from work but I don't think they noticed
They would be in for a shock
Telephone rap battle
Two rappers were exchanging insults over the phone when one got upset and the line went dead.
Diss connected.
What does a telegraph operator feel when he has to send the same message again?
Remorse.
Telemarketers don't have managers
They have ring leaders
The American man and the British man
(Not sure where I learned this one)
Once there was an American man talking to a British man. The American man was lecturing the British man, saying he was saying things wrong. He said its not lift its elevator, its not Tele its TV and its not a boot its a trunk of a car. The British man calmly said back "its not a shooting range its a school
a telephone call
A wife answers the phone.
Husband to wife: "How come you talked only 15 minutes?"
Wife: "It was wrong number."
Do you know how to use a telescope?
You should look into it.
Why are telescopes pointed away from earth?
Because they search for intelligent life
Those who believe in telekinetics
Raise my hand
If you believe in telekinetics
Raise my hand
Almost got on a television show once....
So pissed they cancelled COPS
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the tele arthritic jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working tele telly piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.