Teeth Like A Jokes
78 teeth like a jokes and hilarious teeth like a puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about teeth like a that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Teeth Like A Short Jokes
Short teeth like a jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The teeth like a humour may include short your teeth look like jokes also.
- I like my men like my teeth, 32 of them, indentured to me, and ready to devour any temptation I have on call.
- The dentist said, "You need two root canals. They'll be expensive, but I'll let you pay... ..for them for $500 a month for 36 months."
I said, "Wow, those sound like car payments."
"They are." - Boy: your teeth are like stars GIRL: Aww.. thanks are they that much pretty?
Boy: no, far away from each other - When I was a kid, my grandfather told me his teeth are like the stars... ...they come out at night.
- My dentist offered to give me dentures for only a dollar. It sounded like a good deal at the time, but now I have buck teeth.
- Donald Trump told me that I have very nice teeth which is not surprising, seeing as he only likes things that are straight and white.
- Her teeth were exquisite. They were bright and dazzling like the stars in the sky. They also came out at night.
- Do you brush your teeth without making a mess like in the commercials? I usually look like I have minty fresh rabies…
- My wife's been nagging me to see the dentist about a tooth extraction. She says getting me to go is like pulling teeth.
- retired man joke There were two retired men. One of the men said
"I feel like a newborn baby,".
The other man asked why.
The man said, " I have no hair, no teeth, and I just peed in my pants.
Share These Teeth Like A Jokes With Friends
Teeth Like A One Liners
Which teeth like a one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with teeth like a? I can suggest the ones about teeth and teeth gum.
- I'd like to dedicate this joke to my wisdom teeth. [Removed]
- "Darling, your teeth are like stars." "So yellow and so far apart..."
- Teeth are like college. After experiencing with drugs, a few might drop out.
- People are like ice cream They hurt my teeth when I bite them.
- I don't like eating rabbit I always get hare stuck in my teeth
- I once told someone their teeth looked like stars.... Yellow and far apart.
- I like my teeth like I like my people Straight and White
- Washington liked his wooden teeth enough. Unfortunately, they were all bark and no bite.
- People are like teeth... Most of them are yellow.
- Do you know why Polish girls don't like vibrates? It chips their teeth.
- Your teeth are like stars Yellow and far away from each other
- I made myself golden teeth ro eat apples but it looks like i don't like apples
- Getting people to stop poaching animals is like pulling teeth.
- My orthodontist made an impression on my teeth today. It was a good one. They liked her.
- You hear about the guy who's teeth is like a shopping mall There's a big GAP
Comical Puns & Laughs: Enjoy Fun, Witty Teeth Like A Jokes with Friends.
What funny jokes about teeth like a you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean your teeth jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make teeth like a pranks.
One day a blonde is sitting on a plane next to one of those annoying, pushy businessmen.
He asks her if she would like to play a game.
She politely declines, but the man explains the game to her anyway.
He says, "It goes like this: I will ask you a question and if you get it wrong you will give me $5, and vice-versa."
She says no again, and tries to fall asleep.
The man tries harder, saying, "Aw, come on. I'll give you $50 for each question. Or how about $500?"
At that number, the blonde agrees.
The businessman explains again, "If you get my question wrong you give me $5. And when you ask the question, and I get it wrong, I will pay you $500.
"Got it," she replies.
He asks, "Who was the sixth president?" She admits she doesn't know and gives him $5.
Now it's her turn, and she says, "What has purple legs, five arms and only two yellow teeth?"
The businessman doesn't know - he uses his laptop, checks the Internet, e-mails his friends.
No one knows the answer.
So he gives her $500.00.
Then, as they're landing he asks her, "What was that thing anyway?"
She thinks a few minutes, hands him $5 and walks off the plane.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two old women were talking about their s**... lives.
Ethel was upset because her s**... life had really died, while Mildred said her s**... life was great.
Mildred counseled Ethel, "When my Sammy is getting ready for bed, I get undressed, lie on the bed, and put both legs behind my head.
When he sees me like that, he gets so excited, we have wild s**... the rest of the night."
Ethel said, "I'm going to try that tonight."
While Ethel's husband Harold was in the bathroom that night, she took off all her clothes.
She struggled to get both legs behind her head.
After accomplishing this great feat, Ethel fell backwards and couldn't move.
Harold came out of the bathroom with a shocked look on his face.
"For God's sake Ethel, comb your hair and put your teeth in. You look like an a**hole."
Why don't whales eat sushi very often?
Of course whales like sushi.
It's just those itty-bitty chop sticks that keep getting stuck in their teeth.
I went to the groceries because I wanted to buy one bottle of milk.
I have found out that I´ve got only 0,50 cent and the mild has cost 1 euro.
I have told the saleswoman that I have only 0,50 cent and I want to buy one bottle of milk.
She has solved the situation very practically.
She has taken the mop, went to the storage, cleaned the floor with spilled milk on it, she has pressed out the mop to the carry bag and gave it to me.
At home I have added this milk to the coffee, I have felt something like stones or something like that under my teeth, but the coffee was really tasty.
After that came my friends and the party has continued as usual.
One of my favorites
A little boy and his mother are in a department store shopping one afternoon. The mother decides to try some clothes on and tells her son to wait outside the changing room for her. A few minutes later she walks out to find her son has his hand up the dress of a mannequin in the store. She quickly rushes over and slaps her sons hand exclaiming "don't ever stick your hand up a girls dress!" The boy seems confused and asks why. His mother explains that "girls have teeth up there and you could lose a finger" Never learning any different several years pass and the boy is now in his teens and has managed to get himself a girlfriend. After a couple months of making out with his girlfriend after school she one day asks him why he never puts his hand up her dress when they are kissing. The boy says "are you crazy I'm not going to put my hand up your dress, you have teeth up there and I could lose a finger." Confused the girl lifts up her dress to show him and says "what are you talking about there aren't any teeth up there" The boy takes a good long look and says "Yeah...not with gums like those"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Am I racist?
I only seem to like w**..., and I absolutely
hate black, brown and yellow teeth.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
50 Shades of Grey
The missus bought a Paperback,
down Shepton Mallet way,
I had a look inside her bag;
T'was "fifty shades of grey".
Well I just left her to it,
And at ten I went to bed.
An hour later she appeared;
The sight filled me with dread...
In her left she held a rope;
And in her right a whip!
She threw them down upon the floor,
And then began to s**....
Well fifty years or so ago;
I might have had a peek;
But Mabel hasn't weathered well;
She's eighty four next week!!
Watching Mabel bump and grind;
Could not have been much grimmer.
And things then went from bad to worse;
She toppled off her Zimmer!
She struggled back upon her feet;
A couple minutes later;
She put her teeth back in and said
I am a dominator !!
Now if you knew our Mabel,
You'd see just why I spluttered,
I'd spent two months in traction
For the last complaint I'd uttered.
She stood there n**... and n**...
Bent forward just a bit
I went to hold her, sensual like
and stood on her left t*t!
Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;
My god what had I done!?
She moaned and groaned then shouted out:
"Step on the other one"!!
Well readers, I can't tell no more;
About what occurred that day.
Suffice to say my jet black hair,
Turned fifty shades of grey.
A guy with a wooden eye goes to a dance.
He searches the room for a lady ugly enough to dance with someone like himself. He spots one with jutting buck-teeth. He asks, "Will you dance with me?" She replies excitedly, "Would I!?" He angrily yells back at her, "BUCK TEETH!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A 70 year old man went to his doctor's office to get a s**... count
A 70 year old man went to his doctor's office to get a s**... count. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring me back a sample tomorrow." The next day the 70 year old man reappears at the doctor's office and gives him the jar, which is as clean and empty as on - the previous day. The doctor asked what happened and the man explains: "Well, doc, it's like this: First I tried with my right hand, but, nothing. Then I tried with-my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She - tried with her right hand, with nothing. Then her left, but nothing. She - even tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with the teeth-out, and still nothing. We even called up the lady next door and-she tried with both hands and her mouth too, but nothing." The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor?" the old man replied, "yep, but no matter what we tried we couldn't get the DARN jar open!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A guy goes to the bar on his 21st birthday.
He says to the bartender, "I just turned twenty-one; give me a shot of bourbon!"
The bartender says, "Congratulations!" and pours him the shot. A p**... approaches the man and says "You've just turned twenty-one huh? Ever been laid, boy?"
The man replies, "No ma'am. My momma always told me those things have teeth." The p**... laughs and leads him upstairs to her room. She pulls down her skirt and laughs, "You see any teeth down there boy?" He says, "No ma'am; and with gums like those I can see why!"
There is a mute who wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing one's teeth, he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done. Now, if there is a blind man who wishes to buy a pair of sunglasses, how should he express himself?
He opens his mouth and says. "I would like to buy a pair of sunglasses."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Yoda stands in the doorway, surveying the crime scene.
The victim is lying face down on the floor in a pool of his own blood. Huge chunks have been taken out of him, and clear teeth marks are visible around the open wounds. Against a nearby wall lies the suspected killer. Mouth full of blood (likely not his own) and back broken in such a way that he can't have lasted long.
Yoda's partner, Luke, looks around in disgust.
"What do you think? Open and shut case of m**... s**...?"
Yoda stares grimly, nods, but says nothing.
Yoda walks into the room, and walks around the corpse on the floor.
"So should I just go ahead and tell Nine's family?" Luke says.
Yoda looks at Luke with a glimmer in his eye. "Eaten alive, this man was. Disfigured, he is. Nine, he looks like. But Nine, this man is not. Six, Seven eight."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Hey, will you settle an argument i'm having with my friend? He says he brushes his tongue when he's brushing his teeth...
*
**you:** Yeah, so he says he brushes his tongue! do you do that?
**unsuspecting mark:** uh, yeah, i definitely do that, it's an important part of dental hygiene!
**you:** really? you brush your tongue? how do you even do that?
**unsuspecting mark:** like this! *
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So this guy is eating out his wife...
So this guy is eating out his wife 69 style. Everything is going great until he realizes the time.
G: '**..., I'm gonna be late to the dentist!''
So the couple stops immediately and the guy heads to the bathroom to brush his teeth thouroughly.
The guy arrives at the dentist and the dentist begins doing his thing.
After about 15 minutes or so, the dentist starts giggling.
D: ''You were eating out someone earlier weren't you... 69 style?''
The guy quickly checks his breath and it smells minty fresh.
G: ''WHAT!? How did you know! You even got the position right!''
D: ''Because your forehead smells like a**...''
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Feminism is like wisdom teeth...
useful in the past, but painful, annoying, and useless now.
First Date
Years back, before electronic car door locks, there were two brothers, Andy and Oby. Andy was 4 years older than 16 year old Oby. Oby had never been on a date and wanted to take out a girl he had met. So...he asked Andy for advice. "I want to take this girl out for a walk and I just don't know what to do or say" Andy told him "It's easy. Just compliment her and everything will fall into place". "What do you mean" asked Oby. Andy told him to compliment her on her hair "your hair is like silk", her teeth "your teeth are like pearls", her eyes "your eyes are like sapphires", etc.
So Oby take her for a walk, and comes home with a black eye. Andy asked him what happened. Oby says: "Well, I tried to compliment her on her hair, but she didn't have much, and not many teeth either. Her eyes were one blue and one brown like some dogs, and I didn't know what to say about that, so...I said for a fat girl you sure don't sweat much!"
Widdel Wabbits
A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks, in the sweetest little lisp, between two missing teeth,
"Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?"
As the shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees so that he's on her level and asks,
"Do you want a widdle white wabbit, or a thoft and fuwwy bwack wabbit, or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabbit over there?"
She, in turn, blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says, in a tiny quiet voice,
"I don't think my python weally gives a thit."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A homless lady pushing a cart at 2 am told my friends and i this. "What did the one lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire"
See you the same time next month.
And then she cackled like a witch who'd been smoking for 40 years most of her teeth missing, it was horrifying and hilarious at the same time.
This guy asked me if I wanted vampire teeth.
I said, "Yes."
He said, "Would you like to join the long line of people over there then?"
I said, "No fang queue."
A precious little girl walks into a Pets Mart Shop and asks,
A precious little girl walks into a Pets Mart Shop and asks, in the sweetest little lisp, between two missing teeth, "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?"
As the shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees so that he's on her level and asks, "Do you want a widdle white wabbit, or a thoft and fuwwy, bwack wabbit, or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabbit over there?"
She, in turn, blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says, in a tiny quiet voice,
"I don't think my python weally gives a thit !!"
Teacher asked kids to tell her what they liked the most about her and she would tell them who they would be when they grew up.
Sally : I like your hair teacher!
Teacher: well, you're going to be a hair stylist!
George : I like your teeth teacher!
T : Well, you're going to be a dentist.
Then little Johhny jumps out of his seat and yells : I already know what i'm gonna be!
T : well, tell us.
Johhny : A milkman!
Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree.
One turns to the other and says, "John, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age, how do you feel?"
John replies, "I feel just like a newborn baby."
"Really! Like a newborn baby, you say?"
"Yep. No hair, no teeth, I wear a diaper, and I even drool on myself."
Old lady on the bus
There was an old lady who would ride on the bus every day. Every time she would get off the bus she would hand the bus driver a handful of almonds. The bus driver appreciated the old lady's good deeds however one day he asked her why she gave him a handful of almonds every time she got off the bus. She stated that she had no teeth therefore she could not eat them. Confused, the bus driver asks her why she had the almonds in the first place. Her response was "i like the chocolate around them"
The teacher tells the students:
You have to tell me what part of my body do you like the most, and I will tell you what will you be when you grow up. Let's see, Paul, which part of my body do you like the most?
I love your long hair, teacher.
Nice, Paul! You will be a hairdresser when you grow up. And you, Peter, what is your favourite part?
My favourite part of you are your teeth, teacher.
You will be a dentist, Peter, when you grow up. William, it's your turn.
I really like your blue eyes, teacher.
You will be a very good oculist when you grow up, William. And you, Johnny, which part of my body do you like the most?
I think I don't need to say it. I just found out I want to be a milkman when older!
A little old lady got on a city bus
and sat down behind the bus driver.
After a couple minutes, she asked him, "Hey, mister! Want some peanuts?", and held up a bag full.
"Sure!", he said, and popped a handful in his mouth.
After eating several more, he asked, "Hey...don't you want to have some of these?"
"Nope," the old lady replied, "Ain't got no teeth! I just likes the chocolate on the outsides!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I like to brush my teeth while I take my morning p**....
I call it taking a number tooth.
If you get pulled over and you have some Coke in your car, you're likely to get arrested.
However, if you get pulled over and you have some Pepsi in your car, you're likely to make a new friend.
Remember to always brush your seatbelts, buckle your teeth, and drink Pepsi.®️
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A cowboy walks into a bar...
A cowboy walks into a bar and orders a drink, as a woman comes in and sits next to him. After a few minutes, she asks "Are you a real cowboy?". "Well, I work on a barn, watch my cattle and fix the fences, I guess I'm a real cowboy."
The woman says "Hm, I'm a lesbian. I think of women the whole day. When I get up, when I brush my teeth, when I go to work and when I go to bed. I can't stop thinking of women."
An hour later, the lesbian left already, a couple sits next to the cowboy. The wife turns to the cowboy and asks "So are you a real cowboy?"
And the cowboy replies "Well I thought I was, but it seems like I'm a lesbian."
*Source:* Plato and a Platypus walk into a bar...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A female friend of mine told me that i should act more like a knight
So i stopped showering, brushing my teeth and i r**... her
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A boy asks his mom, When I grow up will I have two p**... like daddy?
Mom: Daddy doesn't have two p**... son
Son: Sure he does! He has the little one he uses to pee and the big one he uses to brush the babysitter's teeth!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two Old Men
Two old men were sitting in the yard outside the care home one day when Tim turned to the other and said "John I'm really feeling my age today I just hurt all over, how are you feeling?
John replied "I feel just like a new born babe"
Tim looked at him startled "A New Born babe really?"
"Yep, I have no hair, no teeth, and I think I just s**...t my pants."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Crude Dental Work (In Australian)
Man on island, has bad tooth. Needs tooth removed. Friend with an axe is like, I know what to do mate. Uses axe to try to remove tooth but unintentionally knocks out all his teeth. First guy is like, Ouch-aroo mate, that is a 10/10 on the pain scale. Axe guy says, 'Hey man, it was Axe-y Dental'
Baby teeth
\- Hey neighbour what is going on, why is your husband screaming like that?!!
\- Nothing to worry neighbour, his teeth are coming out!
\- Wait what? Isn't he like 60 years old?!
\- Yeah, that's true but last night, during his sleep, he swallowed his dentures ...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do we know about Gandhi?
Well, he walked barefoot and was a vegetarian.. he ate very little and practiced yoga, and was a minimalist who likely didn't brush his teeth either, giving him bad breath.
He was a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A bear dad and a bear mum are getting worried as they found their cub doesn't like meat...
So, the dad showed him how to catch salmons from a river, roared, and bite them with his sharp teeth.
Showing no interest at all, the cub turned to his mum.
The mum then showed him how to chase a rabbit, grabbed the rabbit on its neck, and bite on it.
The cub seems excited this time, he chased a smaller rabbit, grabbed it on its neck, showed his teeth to it, and roared, "give me your carrot".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I finally got to go to the dentist for the first time since the pandemic started…
The doctor was shocked at how clean my teeth were but said my breath smelled like s**... and he couldn't figure out why.
He asked if I'd been brushing regularly and I said yes.
He asked if I flossed regularly and I said as much as I normally do.
He asked if I changed my diet and I told him it was the same as it always was.
After sitting there for a moment, he looks at me and asks:
Doctor: Is there anything that's changed?
Me: Well…I did get a bidet and I haven't quite figured out the water pressure.
Look! Magic!
One day, an explorer was captured by native warriors and taken to their chieftain, a gigantic man with teeth filed to dagger-like points. Desperately, the explorer tried to think of a way to save him self. He pulled out his cigarette lighter, held it in front of the chief's face and lit it, exclaiming, "Look! Magic!"
The chief's eyes were huge in astonishment. "It certainly must be magic," he said. "I have never seen a lighter light on the first try!"
The world's best dentist and the world's worst pastry chef walk into a bar.
Being friends of the owner, he pours them both a drink and sits them down to catch up.
How was your birthday? He asks the dentist.
It was like pulling teeth he says with a smile.
Then the owner turns to the pastry chef.
How was your divorce?
It was as easy as pie the chef mumbles sadly.
