Teeth Jokes
160 teeth jokes and hilarious teeth puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about teeth that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Who doesn't love a good teeth joke? From wisdom teeth to dentists, flossophy to cavities, this collection of jokes is sure to leave you smiling. Get ready to add some fun to your next dental appointment!
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Funniest Teeth Short Jokes
Short teeth jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The teeth humour may include short dental jokes also.
- My teeth were stained, so the dentist asked me, do you smoke or drink coffee? I told him I drink it.
- What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear
My 8 year old daughter told me this joke - My dentist mocked me today, saying that even though he's much older than me, he has healthier teeth. I said it must be because he has the better dentist.
- I like my men like my teeth, 32 of them, indentured to me, and ready to devour any temptation I have on call.
- Why should you never brush your teeth with your left hand? Because a toothbrush works better.
- You can tell the toothbrush was invented in Alabama if it was invented anywhere else, it would've been called the teeth brush.
- Turns out my co-worker and I are getting our teeth checked the same day Isn't that coinciDENTAL?
I'll see myself out - Why do men give their jacket to women when its cold? Because it hurts to get blown by chattering teeth
- Why are no murders solved in West Virginia? Everyone has the same DNA and no one has any teeth.
- How to turn your tongue into very own super hero! Step 1: place tongue between teeth
Step 2: bite down. Hard.
Step 3: your tongue should now be Thor.
Share These Teeth Jokes With Friends
Teeth One Liners
Which teeth one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with teeth? I can suggest the ones about cavity and molar.
- What do you call a dinosaur that takes care of its teeth? A Flossiraptor
- I dated a dentist a while back, She had the whitest teeth I ever came across.
- What has 80 feet, 137 teeth and $72 in cash? The front row of a Trump rally
- I'd like to dedicate this joke to my wisdom teeth. [Removed]
- What has 132 legs and 8 teeth? The front row of a Toby Keith concert.
- I tell ya, my wife is a lousy cook. After dinner, I don't brush my teeth. I count 'em!
- What has a 1000 teeth and holds back a monster? My zipper.
- What's got no teeth and smells? The gearbox in the wife's car...
- I once dated a dental hygienist She had the whitest teeth I ever came across.
- What has 182 teeth and holds a small worm? My zipper
- What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
- Why does Donkey Kong brush his teeth? To prevent tooth DK.
- What has 3 teeth and 100 legs An unemployment line in Tennessee.
- What is 20ft long and has 5 teeth? The funnel cake line at the Alabama state fair
- Why are Ethiopian's teeth so white? Because they never use them
Your Teeth Jokes
Here is a list of funny your teeth jokes and even better your teeth puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- If dentists make all their money from bad teeth... ....why should we use toothpaste that 8 out of 10 dentists recommend.
- I started flossing again recently to remove food from between my teeth I never realized just how much blood I was eating
- So my girlfriend is getting a bit older and her teeth are starting to fall out. It's okay, though. They'll grow back.
- Got this from my dad tonight...You know why they don't have CSI in Arkansas? They don't have enough teeth for dental records, and they all have the same DNA.
- Why is the South the best place to hide in case of zombie takeover? Southerner zombies don't have any teeth to bite with.
- Did you know I'm dating a dental hygienist? She has the cleanest teeth I've ever come across.
- TIL the tooth brush was invented in Kentucky... Anywhere else and it would be called a teeth brush.
- "Darling, your teeth are like stars." "So yellow and so far apart..."
- The dentist said, "You need two root canals. They'll be expensive, but I'll let you pay... ..for them for $500 a month for 36 months."
I said, "Wow, those sound like car payments."
"They are." - A young girl walks in on her dad peeing... The dad fumbles around trying to cover up. Then the girl says "don't worry dad. I've seen one before. Mommy brushes her teeth with the neighbor's."
Brush Your Teeth Jokes
Here is a list of funny brush your teeth jokes and even better brush your teeth puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why do protesters refuse to brush their teeth? Because plaque lives matter.
- How to tell someone they have a bad breath nicely ? "Oh boy I am bored lets brush our teeth"
- My mom was always obsessed with dental hygiene... ...she would always take her electric toothbrush to bed and brush her teeth all night!
- I was so busy with maths homework that I didn't brush my teeth for a week The calculus had built up, and it was starting to get quite hard.
- I've been getting anonymous texts from someone telling me to shower, comb my hair & brush my teeth. I think they may be trying to groom me.
- I'm religious about brushing my teeth. I do it twice a year on Christmas and Easter.
- How come Link never brushes his teeth? He wants breath of the wild.
- A Game Dev wakes up, brushes their teeth, gets dressed, grabs their keys and walks out of the door Map Failed to Load
- I told the dentist I was concerned about the buildup on my teeth He just brushed it off.
- I couldn't tell if I brushed my teeth with tooth paste or shamoo last night I hope it was the former, not the lather.
Brush Teeth Jokes
Here is a list of funny brush teeth jokes and even better brush teeth puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I hate having to brush my teeth in the morning. I must be the only person in the world with hairy teeth.
- What does a gorilla brush his teeth with? A toothbrush.
- Most people don't clean their teeth properly They just brush past them
- Why did the chemist wear gloves to brush his teeth? His mouth was 4 molar
Post your favorite nerd chem jokes! - What's the difference between a crocodile and a toothbrush? You can't brush your teeth with a crocodile.
- My friend got an award for not brushing his teeth for a year. He said it was worth it for the plaque.
- What does the Night's King brush his teeth with? Wightening toothpaste.
- It wasn't too bad when I accidentally brushed my teeth with Preparation H, but.. Icey Hot on a hemorrhoid is not a good way to start the morning off.
- Do you brush your teeth without making a mess like in the commercials? I usually look like I have minty fresh rabies…
- I was abducted a few years ago. I was taken aboard a ship where they made me brush my teeth three times a day, wash behind my ears and eat all my greens I think I was on the mothership.
Teeth Like A Jokes
Here is a list of funny teeth like a jokes and even better teeth like a puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Boy: your teeth are like stars GIRL: Aww.. thanks are they that much pretty?
Boy: no, far away from each other - When I was a kid, my grandfather told me his teeth are like the stars... ...they come out at night.
- My dentist offered to give me dentures for only a dollar. It sounded like a good deal at the time, but now I have buck teeth.
- Teeth are like college. After experiencing with drugs, a few might drop out.
- People are like ice cream They hurt my teeth when I bite them.
- I don't like eating rabbit I always get hare stuck in my teeth
- Donald Trump told me that I have very nice teeth which is not surprising, seeing as he only likes things that are straight and white.
- I once told someone their teeth looked like stars.... Yellow and far apart.
- Her teeth were exquisite. They were bright and dazzling like the stars in the sky. They also came out at night.
- I like my teeth like I like my people Straight and White
Wisdom Teeth Jokes
Here is a list of funny wisdom teeth jokes and even better wisdom teeth puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I have to get my wisdom teeth pulled out I'm going to fail so many perception checks without them :(
- Did you see that documentary about wisdom teeth? It's called An Inconvenient Tooth .
- A cheapskate goes to have his wisdom teeth removed. The dentist said the procedure would cost $100. The cheapskate replies, "I'll give you $50 and just loosen it."
- Had my wisdom teeth removed and the doc wrote me a script for oxys The percs of dental surgery
- Which teeth are the brightest? The wisdom teeth
- Today is coming out day... ...so i got my wisdom teeth removed
- Oxycodone With my wisdom teeth gone, I was hoping of getting a bit of a high, but all it did was relieve pain.
well that was a "downer" - Why do chemistry majors get their wisdom teeth removed? It's dangerous to have too many molars.
- God invented wisdom teeth so that everybody could have a chance to try Vicodin. Title
- I used to give really good advice. Then I got my wisdom teeth taken out.

Share Hilarious Teeth Jokes and Enjoy Unforgettable Laughter
What funny jokes about teeth you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean wisdom teeth jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make teeth pranks.
Genie: I will grant you 3 wishes.
Me: I've seen this before. Whatever I wish for will come back and bite me in some way.
Genie: I promise that won't happen. I'm so sure it won't I'll give you infinite wishes if it does.
Me: Okay. I wish for a boomerang with teeth.
Genie: You son of a ........
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man is sentenced to 15 years in prison, but escapes after only 3 days
He's taken in front of a judge, who orders the prisoner to explain his actions. The prisoner says "Well your honor, the first day, they gave me a comb, then s**... off all my hair. The second day, they gave me a tooth brush, then pulled out all my teeth. The third day, they gave me a jock strap, I went over the wall". "Case dismissed" declares the judge
What do you get when you move 32 Texans into the same room?
A full set of teeth
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a fat kid with 3 teeth and a lazy eye?
Names.
A guy with a wooden eye goes to a dance.
He searches the room for a lady ugly enough to dance with someone like himself. He spots one with jutting buck-teeth. He asks, "Will you dance with me?" She replies excitedly, "Would I!?" He angrily yells back at her, "BUCK TEETH!"
what is green and, if stuck between your teeth, will kill you?
a tractor.
I told my dentist to make my teeth whiter..
so he named them Logan and moved them to a gated community.
Three apprentice vampire bats
Three apprentice vampire bats are taken out to a farm and told to get as much blood as they can find by their teacher. 15 minutes go by and the first vampire bay returns with a little bit of blood on his teeth.
'Where did you get that blood' asked the teacher.
'Do you see that chicken? That's where I got it.' the bat replied.
Shortly after the second vampire bat returns with blood dripping from his snout.
Where did you get that blood' asked the teacher.
'Do you see that chicken? Do you see that cow beyond the chicken? That's where I got it.' the second bat replied.
Some time later the third bat returns with his whole face caked in blood.
Where did you get that blood!' asked the teacher.
'Do you see that chicken? Do you see that cow beyond the chicken? Do you see that wall beyond the cow? I didn't.'
What do you get when you put 28 Alabama Sorority girls in one room?
A full set of teeth
The nice old lady..
An old lady always gave the bus conductor cashew nuts and almonds to eat.
Conductor: "So kind of you to give me those nuts to eat everyday. Why don't you eat them yourself?"
Old Lady: "I don't have the teeth to munch them."
Conductor: "Then why do you buy them?"
Old Lady: "I just love the chocolate around them!" :P :P :P
Whats green and can kill you if it gets between your teeth?
A tractor
The kindness of strangers
An old lady on a bus offers the driver some peanuts. The driver, being polite, accepts and munches them.
Every 5 minutes she gives him a handful more peanuts.
Driver : Why don't you eat them yourself ?
Old lady : I can't chew them. Look, I have no teeth.
Driver : Then why do you buy them ?
Old lady : Oh, I just love the chocolates around them.
Guy bursts into a dentist's office
Guy bursts into a dentist's office and says "HEY, listen here buddy, you have to help me NOW: my teeth are SO sensitive they can sense impending EARTHQUAKES" the dentist looked at him sternly for a moment and said "you've got some nerve"
Three pregnant women were knitting tops for their soon-to-be born.
One posh one says "I'm taking vitamin A, as I want my baby to have strong bones and teeth". The other posh one says "I'm taking vitamin C, as I want my baby to have a good constitution and good heart". The chavvy one says "I'm taking Thalidomide cos I can't knit arms".
To take her mind off being mistakenly judged Miss Universe,Miss Columbia went to get her teeth whitened..
The Dentist told her she needs a crown.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Past& Sees Her.
Susie is a p**... who doesn't want her gran to know. One day Police raid the brothel & line up the girls outside.The gran walks past& sees her.Quick thinking Susie tells her its a queue for free oranges, so her gran joins the queue. When the Police get to gran, they're surprised& ask her 'how do u do it at your age?'she replies ,I take my teeth out, peel back the skin& s**... 'em until they're dry.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
a cannibal family is sitting at the dinner table...
finishing up, when the youngest cannibal comes rushing in, panting, "am i too late?" the dad replies, picking his teeth "yep, everyone's already eaten".
A guy meets his friend on the street
but his friend has a horribly swollen face, is missing teeth, has scratches on his arms, blood all over his shirt and he looks scared and disorientated. Of course his friend gets extremely worried and asks:
"Are you all right?! What happened dude?"
"I just buried my mother-in-law..."
"So?"
"Well she resisted".
What's 80 feet long and has 22 teeth?
The front row of a Ted Nugent concert.
I said "My, what big eyes you have!"
Followed by "My, what big hands you have!"
And then "My what big teeth you have!"
My charity gig for children with disabilities did not start out well.
I have sensitive teeth...
And I'm afraid I'll say something that will hurt their fillings.
A man goes to the dentist with some broken teeth...
The dentist asks the man what happened, to which the man responds saying:
"My wife cooked some chicken and roti (Indian flatbread) but the bread was very hard and stiff."
The dentist replied: "You should have told her the bread was too hard and refused to eat it"
To which the man responds:
"Man, that's exactly what I did!"
(A joke originally told to me by my grandfather in Urdu)
A boy was sitting in a bus eating chocolate. The elderly man next to him asked him...
Man : If you eat chocolates young lad, you will spoil your teeth.
Boy : My grandfather lived 110 years.
Man : By eating chocolate?
Boy : No. By minding his own business.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you get when you put 20 m**... Heads in 1 room?
A full set of teeth
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
my brother just called me (11pm) with a joke so funny he was still laughing
**what is a bear without teeth?**
**answer: a gummy bear**
since he made it up all by himself, i informed him that i could no longer publicly claim him as my brother. he understood completely.
Human-beings get rich as they grow old:
Silver in Hair;
Gold in Teeth;
Sugar in Blood;
Precious Stones in Kidney;
And a never ending supply of Gas!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
You better start brushing your teeth, son!
o**...-B very mad!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Some people have 10 teeth, while others have 32
It's simple m**...
Teacher asked kids to tell her what they liked the most about her and she would tell them who they would be when they grew up.
Sally : I like your hair teacher!
Teacher: well, you're going to be a hair stylist!
George : I like your teeth teacher!
T : Well, you're going to be a dentist.
Then little Johhny jumps out of his seat and yells : I already know what i'm gonna be!
T : well, tell us.
Johhny : A milkman!
A man takes his Rottweiller to the vet.
'My dog is cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?' 'Well,' said the vet, 'let's have a look at him'.
So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then he checks his teeth. Finally, he says, 'I'm going to have to put him down.' 'What? Because he's cross-eyed?' 'No, because he's really heavy'.
What's the first thing you do after waking up and the last thing you do before going to bed?
Nephew: Brushing your teeth!
Mom: oh honey that's not a joke.
Nephew: it is if you think that's what I do!
Why do social justice warriors hate dentists?
Because they make teeth straight and white.
Dentist: How did you lose your three teeth?
Patient: "My wife prepared the pancakes and they were very hard to eat."
Dentist: "Then you could have refused to eat them."
Patient: "I did refused to eat them. Hence, I lost my three teeth."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An old woman falls asleep in church
The priest asks, "How many of you commit adultery? Those who do, stand up." Just then the old lady wakes up and asks her son-in-law, "What did he say?" The son-in-law wants to play a prank and answers "Those who take Tic Tacs have to stand up." The woman, who takes the pills by boxes, stands up. Everyone gasps, and the priest asks, "How could you, at your age?"
"Just because I've got no teeth doesn't mean I can't s**... 'em!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Dentists are racist and homophobic.
They want to make your teeth white and straight.
If you get pulled over and you have some Coke in your car, you're likely to get arrested.
However, if you get pulled over and you have some Pepsi in your car, you're likely to make a new friend.
Remember to always brush your seatbelts, buckle your teeth, and drink Pepsi.®️
What do you call the soft tissue between a shark's teeth?
A slow swimmer.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A boy asks his mom, When I grow up will I have two p**... like daddy?
Mom: Daddy doesn't have two p**... son
Son: Sure he does! He has the little one he uses to pee and the big one he uses to brush the babysitter's teeth!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A lumberjack chopped off my teeth
But later he apologized and said it was axedental.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Will Smith teeth joke
Jason Derulo classic golf moves leaving Will Smith with no front teeths !
Kanye West
After a long day of work, Kanye West goes to his Kanye Nest to take his Kanye Rest. He wakes up feeling his Kanye Best. Then he'll get Kanye Dressed on his Kanye Vest to go on a Kanye Quest. He goes to church and becomes Kanye Blessed, then to a hotel room to be a Kanye Guest. Then to school to take his Kanye Test. He forgot to brush his teeth. Did he run out of Kanye Crest? His neighbor stole it, what a Kanye Pest.
Thought of this last night. This is probably not that good....
Why do people with sharp teeth have a hard time being quiet?
It hurts to bite their tongue.
I went to the dentist to put all caps on my teeth...
...now I can't help but shout every time I talk.
What will the dentist give you for $1?
Buck teeth!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two old guys are working at a sewage treatment plant
o**... goes off to lunch and comes back to find his buddy standing above a vat of sewage with a long rake.
"What are you doing?!" he yells
"My coat fell in" his buddy yells back
"You're not really gonna wear that again are you?!"
"No, no. Gosh no, I'm not going to wear it. I have to get it back though, My teeth are in the pocket!"
(Just a silly joke my granddad told me yesterday. Didnt see it when I searched the sub so figured yall might enjoy)
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I've got a joke about p**... with teeth marks on it.
It's a bit s**....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How I lost my Teeth
I was in my local pub last night enjoying a nice cold pint of beer, when this b**... ugly fat bird came up to me and slapped me in the back, and said how about giving me your number handsome
I looked at her and asked Do you have a pen sure! She said.
So I said, Well you better get back in it before the farmer notices you're missing!
My dental surgery is this Friday!.
My friends said if you floss you'll be amazed at how much food is stuck between your teeth.
I don't remember eating this much blood
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Neighbor: I'll have you know our lawyer has a $50,000 retainer!
Me: Wow, how bad are his teeth?

