Teeth Gum Jokes
18 teeth gum jokes and hilarious teeth gum puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about teeth gum that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Teeth Gum Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good teeth gum joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
My dentist has the inside of his whole building covered in posters of teeth, gums, toothbrushes etc.
God was i relieved to see that its not industry standard when I took my wife to the gynaecologist...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Always read the package insert
"Doc, the suppository you prescribed... they really stuck to my gum and teeth".
"What? You didn't s**... them, did you?"
"Of course I did, what else was I supposed to do with them, shove 'em up my a**...?"
Christmas Day accident
Grandpa woke up unusually early yesterday to celebrate Christmas with the family. He was half asleep still when went to the restroom to brush his teeth. In the early morning brain fog, he accidentally got his Polident mixed up with his Preparation H.
His gums aren't itching, but now, he can't get his underwear off!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I recently switched over to cinnamon flavored toothpaste
so when I do brush my teeth, I can't tell how much my gums are bleeding.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Cloyd went to a Charleston dentist complaining his gums had shriveled up and his teeth were falling out.
After examining him, the dentist said, "Your mouth is really bad. Do you brush?"
"Ah sure do!" replied Cloyd. "Everee single day!"
"What do you brush with?" asked the dentist.
"Preparation H," said the r**....
Do you have gum?
There's already some above your teeth.
A Preacher and His Dentures
A preacher went to get his teeth pulled. As a result he would need dentures. The first Sunday after, he preached 10 minutes. The second he preached 20 minutes and the third he preached an hour and a half.
Some members of the congregation asked about the different amounts of time. The preacher says, "The first Sunday my gums were so sore I could barely talk. The second Sunday, my dentures were causing the pain. The third Sunday, I grabbed my wife's dentures and could not stop talking."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a midget with no teeth
A gum job.
False teeth.
A Pastor goes to the dentist for a set of false teeth. The first Sunday after he gets his new teeth, he talks for only eight minutes. The second Sunday, he talks for only ten minutes. The following Sunday, he talks for 2 hours and 48 minutes.
The congregation had to mob him to get him down from the pulpit and they asked him what happened.
The Pastor explains the first Sunday his gums hurt so bad he couldn't talk for more than 8 minutes. The second Sunday his gums hurt too much to talk for more than 10 minutes. But, the third Sunday, he put his wife's' teeth in by mistake and he couldn't shut up.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A guy goes to the bar on his 21st birthday.
He says to the bartender, "I just turned twenty-one; give me a shot of bourbon!"
The bartender says, "Congratulations!" and pours him the shot. A p**... approaches the man and says "You've just turned twenty-one huh? Ever been laid, boy?"
The man replies, "No ma'am. My momma always told me those things have teeth." The p**... laughs and leads him upstairs to her room. She pulls down her skirt and laughs, "You see any teeth down there boy?" He says, "No ma'am; and with gums like those I can see why!"
A woman sees an old couple sharing a meal at McDonald...
A woman walks into McDonald and orders her meal. As she sits down with her food, she sees an old couple in a corner booth sharing a single happy meal. The old woman ate while the old man watched hungrily.
"They must be really poor", she thought and decided to do a good dead and bought another meal and brought over to the old couple. When she brought the meal over and explained, the old man thanked her but declined.
"Thank you, my dear, but we have plenty of money. We are sharing because when we were married over 50 years ago we vowed to share everything. Even a simple meal"
The woman who bought the meal was embarrassed and apologized, but she had one more question before she left them alone.
"I understand sharing everything, but why are you watching her eat? why not split the meal and eat together?" she asked
The old man flashed his gums to the younger woman and told her:
"Because it's her turn for the teeth"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An Englishman is having breakfast in Paris one morning....
...(coffee, croissants, bread, butter and jam) when a Frenchman chewing bubble-gum, sits down next to him. The Englishman ignores the Frenchman who, nevertheless, starts a conversation.
Frenchman: 'You English folk eat the whole bread??'
Englishman (in a bad mood): 'Of course.'
Frenchman: (after blowing a huge bubble) 'We don't. In France , we only eat what's inside.. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle it, transform them into croissants and sell them to England .' The Frenchman has a smirk on his face.
The Englishman listens in silence.
The Frenchman persists: 'Do you eat jam with the bread??'
Englishman: 'Of Course.'
Frenchman: (cracking his bubble-gum between his teeth and chuckling).
'We don't. In France we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds, and leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam, and sell the jam to England .'
After a moment of silence, The Englishman then asks: 'Do you have s**... in France ?'
Frenchman: 'Why of course we do', he says with a big smirk.
Englishman: 'And what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?'
Frenchman: 'We throw them away, of course.'
Englishman: 'We don't. In England , we put them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into bubble-gum, and sell them to France .'
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An Australian man was having coffee...
and toast with butter and jam in a cafe, when an American tourist, chewing gum, sat down next to him.
The Australian politely ignored the American who, nevertheless, started up a conversation. The American snapped the gum in his mouth and said, 'Do you Australian folk eat the whole bread?'
The Australian frowned, annoyed with being bothered during his breakfast, and replied, "yeah, of course."
The American blew a huge bubble. "We don't. In the States we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle them, transform them into croissants and sell them to Australia."
The American had a smirk on his face, the Australian listened in silence. The American persisted, "D'ya eat jam with the bread?" Sighing, the Australian replied "yes."
Cracking his gum between his teeth, the American said, "We don't. In the States we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, we put all the peels, seeds and leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam, and sell it to Australia.
The Australian then asked, "Do you have s**... in the States?" The American smiled and said, "yeah, of course we do." The Australian leant closer to him and asked, "what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?"
"We throw them away of course" replied the American.
Now it was the Australian's turn to smile. "We don't. In Australia, we put them in containers, recycle them, melt them down into chewing gum and sell them to The United States.
One of my favorites
A little boy and his mother are in a department store shopping one afternoon. The mother decides to try some clothes on and tells her son to wait outside the changing room for her. A few minutes later she walks out to find her son has his hand up the dress of a mannequin in the store. She quickly rushes over and slaps her sons hand exclaiming "don't ever stick your hand up a girls dress!" The boy seems confused and asks why. His mother explains that "girls have teeth up there and you could lose a finger" Never learning any different several years pass and the boy is now in his teens and has managed to get himself a girlfriend. After a couple months of making out with his girlfriend after school she one day asks him why he never puts his hand up her dress when they are kissing. The boy says "are you crazy I'm not going to put my hand up your dress, you have teeth up there and I could lose a finger." Confused the girl lifts up her dress to show him and says "what are you talking about there aren't any teeth up there" The boy takes a good long look and says "Yeah...not with gums like those"
The Pastor's New Teeth
The Pastor goes to the dentist to get a new set of false teeth. On the first Sunday after he gets his new teeth, he talks for only eight minutes. On the second Sunday, he talks for only ten minutes.
But the following Sunday, he talks for 2 hours and 48 minutes. The congregation had to mob him to get him down from the pulpit and they asked him what had happened to cause that.
The Pastor explained that the first Sunday his gums hurt so bad he couldn't talk for more than 8 minutes. The second Sunday his gums hurt too much again to talk for more than 10 minutes. But, on the third Sunday, he put his wife's teeth in by mistake and he couldn't shut up...
An old man and a young man work together in an office.
The old man always has a jar of peanuts on his desk, and the young man really loves peanuts.
One day, while the old man is away from his desk, the young man yields to temptation and scarfs down over half of the contents of the jar. When the old man returns, the young man feels guilty and confesses to his crime.
"Don't worry, son. I never eat the peanuts anyway," the old man replies.
"Since I lost my teeth, all I can do is gum chocolate off the M&M's."
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Teeth Gum One Liners
Which teeth gum one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with teeth gum? I can suggest the ones about chewing gum and your teeth.
- Do you have gum? There's already some above your teeth.
- What do you call a midget with no teeth A gum job.