teeny Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious teeny puns

I was teased about my cock size every day of elementary school.

I got called names like teeny weenie, micro-soft, and pickled pecker.

9 year old girls sure can make a teacher feel bad.


I was teased about my penis size almost every day of elementary school.

I got called names like teeny weenie, micro dong, and pickled pecker.

If it weren't for that, being home-schooled wouldn't have been so bad.


Have you ever smelled mothballs?

How'd you get their teeny legs apart?


A French traveled to Spain

He passed by a restaurant in Madrid after a bullfight. They were advertising that they served the balls of the bull who lost the bullfight.

Intrigued, the man went inside, only to find that there was a six-week waiting list to get to eat the loser's balls. So he signed up and came back six weeks later.

When he got his meal, there were two teeny, teeny balls on his plate. He called the waiter over to complain.

I've waited six weeks for bull balls. What are these?

Sir, the waiter said, the bull doesn't always lose.


A man has an unfortunately sized penis...

And he doesn't have a lot of money. He goes to a doctor and says "Doc, please can you help me? My penis is so small, I don't know what to do!" The doctor says "Well yes, but the procedure is $10,000."
"Aw geez doc I could NEVER afford that!" he says defeated

The doctor replies "Well, if you really want there is risky experimental procedure that we would do for you for free"

The man with the teeny weenie leans in closer to listen to the doctor "The experiment involves grafting some tissue from the trunk of an elephant, and putting it on your penis."

"Well" the patient replies "I don't have many options, so count me in!"

The following Friday the procedure is done and is a great success, and the doctor warns "Be sure not to try to use your new penis until Monday after it has had a chance to heal."

On Monday morning the man is so excited to use his new addition that he calls up a prostitute to have breakfast with him then sexy times.

The hooker and the man are having a pleasant conversation at breakfast, when suddenly the mans dick comes LUNGING from under the table, flops around for a second on top of the table, grabs a blueberry muffin, then DISAPPEARS back under the table!

"Oh! Oh my god was that your dick!?!?" The aghast hooker exclaimed

"Oh yes, yes it was sorry about that" he says

"Do..do you think you could do that again?!?" she asks

"Well, I would, but I am not sure I could fit another muffin up my ass!"


What's tinier than a teeny weenie ant?

An ant's teeny weenie.


some knock knock jokes my daughter told me on the way home from school

"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"Banana skin."
"Banana skin, who?"
"Yay! Someone slipped on me! You know, *because people slip on banana skins*."

"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"Toilet paper."
"Toilet paper, who?"
"Noooo! Don't wipe me on your droopy bottom!"

"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"Garbage, who?"
"You won't get me clean! I like being smelly!"

"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"House, who?"
"I'm going to chomp you up! Into teeny, tiny pieces! ***because I'm an evil house***"

I don't think she quite grasps how knock knock jokes are supposed to work.


A man goes to the doctor.

He says to the doctor "I have a big problem. But first I want you to promise me you won't laugh."

"Oh, no sir, that would be very unprofessional. I have been practicing medicine for over 30 years and I've seen it all. So you have my word."

"OK" says the man and drops his pants. As soon as the doctor sees the man's teeny tiny micropenis, he drops to the floor with a hysterical laughing fit. Finally after five minutes, he regains his composure and says,

"I do apologize sir, I really do. What seems to be the problem?"

"It's swollen" says the man.


Have you ever smelled mothballs?

How did you get your head in between those teeny legs?


What's smaller than a teeny weeny fly?

A fly's teeny wienie.


I think that this entire Jared thing will just end up resulting in a teeny jail sentence.


What makes teenagers the maddest?

Hey man, why do look you so TEENY tiny today?


What do both teenyboppers and hereditary muscle-men have?

Ripped genes. (jeans)


What are the most funny Teeny jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Teeny? Well, here are the best Teeny dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Teeny pick up lines to share with friends.


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