Teenage Jokes
148 teenage jokes and hilarious teenage puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about teenage that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Find out what makes teenage humor so unique and entertaining! From young adults still trying to find their prepubescent selves to young boys going through the difficulties of boyhood, teenage jokes have something for everyone. Read this article to learn more about the comedy that resonates with teenagers everywhere.
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Funniest Teenage Short Jokes
Short teenage jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The teenage humour may include short schoolgirl jokes also.
- Tide has some serious ad time during the superbowl this year Must be able to afford it after cornering the teenage snack food market
- Just been chatting to my neighbour's teenage daughter and it turns out she's really into UFOs and alien. Which is cool because tomorrow she's getting abducted.
- How many teenagers does it take to change a lightbulb? I don't know, like one, three, five? Whatever, I just can't even...
- British teenager Emma Raducanu has just won $2.5m by winning the US open final Sadly she needed 2 band-aids and a bandage for a cut on her leg in the last game, so she still owes about $25k
- I was teaching a bunch of black teenagers about slavery. None of them liked the concept, but their grandparents were sold on the idea.
- My teenage daughter can't decide whether she wants to be a hairdresser or a short story writer... I guess she'll have to flip a coin....
Heads or Tales. - I asked my teenage son to pass me the phone book He laughed, called me a dinosaur and handed me his iPhone.
So, the spider is dead. The iPhone is broken and my son is furious. - A group of teenagers robbed our local supermarket and stole 180 cans of red bull. I don't know how these people can sleep at night.
- My teenage son treats me like a god. He acts like I don't exist, until he wants something.
- AskReddit is 16 years old next month ... Typical teenager, it has an answer for everything.
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Teenage One Liners
Which teenage one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with teenage? I can suggest the ones about young age and youth.
- Why do teenage girls hang out in odd-numbered groups? Because they can't even.
- It dawned on me why teenagers are always in groups of 3 or 5 Because they can't even
- I'm 50, and I have the cholesterol of a teenager. It's amazing what you can find on eBay.
- What does a teenager with a lisp and a nun have in common? Faith book
- What do passwords and teenagers have in common? They are both insecure.
- How are teenage boys and the enzyme helicase similar? They both want to unzip your genes
- How to know if someone is a teenager on Reddit:
- When I was a teenager, I had to learn how to drive a stick. We couldn't afford a car.
- What did the teenage tornado say to his parents? Nothing. He just stormed off.
- A teenage boy is like an alarm clock Comes in handy once a day
- What does a suicidal teenager do on the weekends? Hang at home.
- Why is X = 2K + 1 called the teenager equation? because it can't even.
- What do you call an annoying teenager? A minor inconvenience.
- What's the biggest challenge saudi teenagers face? Losing their mom in the mall.
- What does JCPenny and teenagers have in common? Pants 50% off
Teenage Boys Jokes
Here is a list of funny teenage boys jokes and even better teenage boys puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Voldemort is like a teenage girl. He has a diary, a tiara, a special cup, a pet he adores, and an obsession with a famous teenage boy.
- Overheard in line for a movie... Theater employee: "That's an R-rated movie. When's your birthday?"
Teenage boy: "October 12th."
Employee: "What year?"
Boy: "Every year." - A teenager buys condoms for the first time... The cashier says, "That'll be $9.95 plus tax.".
Horrified, the boy exclaims "I thought they stayed on by themselves!" - "I have the brain of a german shepherd and the body of a teenage boy. They're both in my trunk and I want you to see them."
- How are teenaged boys like the enzyme helicase? They both want to unzip your genes!
credit goes to Hank from CrashCourse on Youtube :) - The entire plot of spiderman A teenage boy finds out he can shoot white stuff out his body
- How do teenage boys keep warm? Jackit
- Our teenage boy just volunteered to do his own laundry for the first time… I guess he doesn't want mom to touch his socks.
- What did the teenage boys right leg say to the left leg? Hey look! The little ones growing a beard!
- What do a teenage boy and a dog have in common? They both want to bury their bone.
Teenage Girl Jokes
Here is a list of funny teenage girl jokes and even better teenage girl puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A teenage girl went to visit the doctor for her cough complaint. The doctor examined her with his stethoscope. 'Big breaths' he said. 'Yeah, and I am only thixteen' she replied.
- When I was a teenager, my mom always said that your bedroom is so messy that you will never get any self-respecting girl to come back here. Luckily they weren't the ones I was going after.
- What's the difference between a teenage girl and the Popes luggage? One is totes blessed and the other is blessed totes.
- Instagram causes depression in teenage girls... ...just like everything else.
- Why do popular teenage girls travel in odd numbers? Because they can't even.
- My 14 year old girl asked me what hairstyle would look good on her Don't ever google tips for grooming a teenage girl. I'm now on a list somewhere….
- What is the difference between a driveway and a teenage girl? Roy Moore pulls out of the driveway.
- What did the teenaged girl zombie say? I decay.
- At some point out there... There's a teenage girl that's taking pictures of the Grand Canyon with the camera in Portrait mode.
- If you're a teenage girl and you need to visit the mall to get supplies for art class, just say so. Don't turn to your dad as you leave the house and say "I'm going to the mall to get felt."
Teenage Mutant Jokes
Here is a list of funny teenage mutant jokes and even better teenage mutant puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I've just been robbed by a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Though ironically, he wasn't wearing a mask so I don't know which one he was.
- What do you say to the teenage mutant ninja turtle Raphael when he is holding a miniature version of his weapons? Those are the wrong Sais
- Why do the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles burn all their bank statements? Because they don't want to have a Shredder in the house.
- Why don't the enemies of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles just flip them on their backs?
- A teenage mutant ninja turtle walks into a bar Yeah, right, like ninjas would ever be *seen* walking into a bar.
- What do the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles call Usain Bolt? Master Sprinter.
- How many teenage mutant ninja turtules does it take to screw in a light bulb? Five. It's a huge problem.
- Do you think the writers for all the teenage mutant ninja turtle movies had trouble deciding if Krang should be in them? Because I think it must have been a no brainer
- Why do Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles often fight 4 vs 1? Because their Sensei is a rat.
- What is the favourite pizza base of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Sewer dough.
Teenage Humor Jokes
Here is a list of funny teenage humor jokes and even better teenage humor puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Q: What do pregnant teenagers and their unborn babies have in common?
A: Both their moms are going to kill them!
Rib-Tickling Teenage Jokes that Bring Friends Together
What funny jokes about teenage you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean school girl jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make teenage pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I told my teenage niece to go get me a phone book...
She laughed at me, and said
"Oh uncle J you're so old. Just use my phone."
So I slammed her phone against the wall to kill a spider.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A teenager gets pulled over for speeding...
The cop says "License and Registration please."
As the teenager is grabbing it out of the glove compartment, the cop then says, "Ya know, I've been waiting for a s**... kid like you all day."
The teenager says, "Well officer, I got here as quick as I could."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Reggie, Joe, and Chuck
There was once a farmer who had three teenage daughters. On prom night, a young boy rang his doorbell.
**Reggie:** My name's Reggie, I'm here to pick up Betty, we're going to go eat some spaghetti, is she ready?
He told his Betty that someone was there to pick her up and they left.
A while later, there someone else rang the doorbell.
**Joe:** My name's Joe, I'm here to pick up Flo, we're going to watch a show, is she ready to go?
So he told Flo and they left.
A bit later, there was yet another boy at his door. He said:
**Chuck:** My name's Chuck...
And the farmer shot him.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why does Batman call his teenage, tights wearing sidekick Robin?
cause s**... was too obvious.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
First Impressions
A young teenage couple have been dating for a little while, so the girl says to the boy that she wants him to meet her parents. He is a little skeptical at this, but she tells him that if he can make a good impression with them that she will reward him with s**....
Extremely excited at the prospect of losing his virginity, the boy rushes to the local pharmacy to get some protection. However, he is a little embarrassed and unsure of himself. The pharmacist at the counter notices this and walks over to see if he can help. "First time?" the pharmacist guesses. The boy nods sheepishly. So the pharmacist gives him the basics on picking condoms. The boy thanks him, buys some, and leaves.
Finally, the big night arrives and the boy arrives at the girl's house. As the couple and the girl's parents sit down for dinner, they all bow their heads to say grace over the meal. Afterwards, they all look up to start eating, except for the boy, who still has his head bowed in prayer. Respectfully, the girl and her parents sit quietly as he continues praying to himself. After about 5 minutes pass, the girl leans over and whispers to him, "I never knew you were so religious!" He looks up at her and whispers back, "I never knew your dad was a pharmacist!"
How many teenagers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One. He holds it up, and the world revolves around him to screw it in.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
When I was a teenager, I'd lock myself in my bedroom for hours every night...
One night, my dad kicked the door open to find out what I was doing. He walked in to discover me sitting on my hand.
"Ah, that old trick," he laughed. I gave an awkward smile back.
"I have to say, son," he continued, "I'm relieved to be honest. I thought you might've been doing something weird. I'll leave you to it."
When he closed the door behind him, I just shrugged my shoulders and carried on f**... myself
I asked my daughter's dentist for her favorite joke. Was not disappointed.
What is the latest fad among teenage mermaids in the city of Atlantis?
Taking shellfies with their shellphones.
Hot girl at prom
A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever.
Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there's a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers.
Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there's a large limo line at the rental office, but he's patient and gets the job done.
Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there's no punchline.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Teenage twin boys in a "special needs" class were suspended for online gambling while at school...
Turns out they have DoubleDown syndrome.
A teenager had just passed his drivers test, and he asked his dad to buy him a car
"Dad, will you be able to get me a car?" Asked the boy
"I suppose a car would be in order *if* you can raise your grades from C's to B's, you study your Bible, and cut your hair." Replied the father.
After contemplating for many hours, the boy decided it was a good and fair compromise. Six weeks later, the father is astonished. His son was excelling in school, he studied his Bible every day, but his hair was still long and shaggy.
"I am very impressed with you" said the father "you are passing all of your classes, and you read the Bible every day. But why wont you cut your hair?"
"After reading the Bible, I have noticed something." Said the boy "Moses, Samson, and Absalom all had long hair. There is even evidence that *Jesus* may have had long hair!"
The father replied back "Did you also notice how they had to walk everywhere too?"
An honest lawyer, a wealthy garbage collector, a teenage girl who's oblivious to what others think of her, and Santa Claus are in an elevator. Who's in the elevator?
Only Santa Claus, the other 3 don't exist.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A teenage boy decides to stop m**....
A teenage girl had been talking on the phone for about half an hour
A teenage girl had been talking on the phone for about half an hour, and then she hung up.
"Wow!," said her father, "That was short. You usually talk for two hours. What happened?"
"Wrong number," replied the girl.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What is the difference between American teenage girls amd Muslim teenage girls? (Offensive)
American teenage girls get s**... BEFORE they have s**....
My 4 year old son just got me with a dad joke I hadn't heard before.
My son was playing with his teenage mutant ninja turtle action figures, and was making them fight each other.
Me: "Where are their weapons? Are they just fighting with their bare hands?"
Son: "No, they are fighting with their turtle hands."
Doesn't have a clue why I was laughing so hard.
A teenager got his driver's license...
...and asked his father, who was a minister, if he could use his car.
The father said, "If you bring your grades up, study the Bible, and get a haircut, then you can use the car."
One month later, the teenager asked his father about using the car again. The father said, "Son, I'm proud of you. You have brought your grades up and studied the Bible every day. But you still haven't gotten a haircut!"
His son said, "Dad, in my studying of the Bible, I found that many great people had long hair. Samson had long hair. Moses, Noah, and John the Baptist had long hair. Even Jesus had long hair."
His father said, "Yes, and they walked everywhere they went!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
We hired a teenage girl at my hardware store
I was showing her around the aisles when I picked up something off the shelf and pointed it at my self and made a beeping sound.
I said, "This is a stud-finder" and laughed.
She pulled up her sleeve, showed me her FitBit and made a beeping sound. She said, "This is a p**...-meter."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
When I was a teenager I saw my grandparents having s**......
...It was the grossest thing I ever saw...
...once I finished.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A teenage girl come home from school and asks her mother, "Is it true what Rita just told me?"
"What's that?" asks her mother. "That babies come out of the same place where boys put their p**...?" said her daughter.
"Yes it is dear!" replies her mother, pleased that the subject had finally come up and that she wouldn't have to explain it to her daughter.
"But then, when I have a baby," responded the teenager, "won't it knock my teeth out?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why do teenage girls go to the bathroom in 3s and 5s?
Because they literally can't even.
My teenage son told me I am a resentful has-been. We had a good, hearty laugh together about that.
Then i changed the WIFI password
A woman was trying on her new fur coat.
Her teenage daughter walked up to her and said.
"Mother, do you realize that this coat is the result of the suffering of a poor, defenseless animal?"
The woman looked strictly at her daughter.
"Young lady, don't you dare talk about your father like that."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A teenage boy goes up to his father
"Father I am not a v**... anymore"
Father: "Wow that's great! Lets sit down and drink something celebrate about this moment"
Son: "Ok, I can drink with you but I can't sit"
My teenage son is obsessed with the difference between sine and cosine.
But I'm sure it's just a phase.
Blonde Moments: Life with a Blonde Teenage Daughter
SCENE: My teenage daughter and me in the car.
Lauren: Dad, do you know what the most commonly used letter in a girl's name is?
Me: Hmm, is it a consonant or a vowel? (Silence.) Please tell me you know what consonants and vowels are.
Lauren: You're no fun, Dad. Forget it.
Me: What is a vowel?
Lauren: OK, OK. A vowel is … ahh … eh … well, oh … uh …
Me: Close enough.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My teenage daughter came home in a rage.
"I've just had s**... education in school today, Dad!
You lied to me!
You told me if I have s**... before my sixteenth birthday my boyfriend will die!"
I put down my paper: "Oh, he will sweetheart, he will.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do h**... and teenage girls have in common?
They both use chemicals to remove the polish.
Two teenagers snuck into a crypt at night. One tripped over a small bone and the other unashamedly laughed.
Can't blame him though, it was a little humerus.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An Indian joke translated to english
A teenage girl wearing a skirt climbing up a staircase sees boys on the ground floor looking up and laughing. She goes to her mom and complains.
Girl: "Mom, boys saw me climbing up the stairs and were laughing"
Mom: "Oh dear, they must be laughing cuz they could see your p**..."
Girl: "But I wasn't wearing any!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
When I was a teenager, my dad found cigarettes in my room & made me smoke the whole pack.
I'm really glad he didn't find my bag of h**....
When I was a teenager, I used to punch my memory foam pillow when my anger was getting beyond control.
Now it's memorized all my moves, and I live in constant fear.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Once when I was a teenager
...I stopped at the drugstore to purchase some of those "necessary supplies." I told the pharmacist, "Better give me a dozen, I've got a hot date tonight with the school t**...!" When I got to her house, her mother insisted I join them for dinner. I offered to say grace, and I prayed and prayed and prayed. When I finished, my date leaned over to me and said, "Why, Paul! I had no idea you were so religious!" I replied, "And I had no idea your father was a pharmacist!"
He's a good boy.
A teenage girl is having a heated argument with her mother about her boyfriend, whom the mother does not like at all. "You can ground me, you can take my cell phone, but I am still seeing Roger". "I don't think he's any good" said mom. "He is too a good boy, why else would he be doing 200 hours of community service?".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
2 teenage friends were outside when they saw a female streaker walking down the street.
One of them ran away as soon as he saw her, but the other one stayed and watched for a while.
They saw each other at school the next day, and the one who stayed asked his friend why he ran away. His friend said "My mom said that if I ever look at a n**... girl too long I'll turn to stone. And I already felt something getting hard."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Yesterday I was nothing more than a sad, teenage v**...
But today I turned 20
A teenager lost a contact lens while playing in the driveway...
After a fruitless search, he went inside the house and told his mother he lost a lens and, try as he might, could not find it.
Undaunted, the mother went outside and in only a few minutes returned with the lens in her hand.
"How did you manage to find it, mom?" the teenager asked.
"We weren't looking for the same thing" she replied. "You were looking for a small piece of plastic. I was looking for $150".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Roy Moore says he'll bring Alabama values to Washington, but I'm not so sure. I mean, he s**... assaulted teenage girls...
But he wasn't related to any of 'em!
How many teenagers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Only two, but good luck fitting them in there.
What does Verizon have in common with my teenage daughter?
I go from not hearing from them at all to 5 times a day when they want money.
My teenage daughter was worried that she was too one-dimensional when it came to applying for schools. I told her that wasn't true and that she was like an onion. She has many layers.
She also smells really bad and makes me cry.
A teenager, who just turned 18, desperately wants a car.
His mother tells him to buy one himself. A chemistry student himself, he finds an effective money-making strategy. Every day, he would sell mixtures of Rhenium, Phosphorus, Osmium, and Tennessine, and he was earning a lot from the sales. Curious, his mother asks him about the mixtures.
The teen replied: RePOsTs are the fastest way to car, Ma.
A teenager girl goes for confession and tells the preist that she's pregnant with the second coming.
Naturally, the priest is furious at the implied blasphemy.
"How dare you? That's blasphemy. Explain yourself. How do you know you're pregnant with the second coming?" he thundered.
I... I... I.. I swallowed the first.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why do teenagers travel in groups of 1,3,5 or 7?
Because they literally can't even.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why do white teenage girls always hang out in groups of 3, 5 or 7?
They just, like, literally can't even
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A family was having dinner when the topic of s**... came up.
Teenage son: I know s**... feels good for both people but does it feel better for the man or woman?
Mom replies: What feels better, an itchy ear or your pinky finger?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I just found out my teenage son had s**... with his teacher, and I am furious.
I should have never agreed to home schooling.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My wife and I caught our teenage son with w**... so we decided to play good cop bad cop
I shot him in the back while she just looked the other way
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two teenage boys are walking down an alley
when they see a stray dog l**... its c**....
The one boy says, Man, I really wish I could do that.
His friend responds, I don't know, you'd better pet him and see if he's friendly, first.
Just wanted to tell sad teenage Reddit to not lose hope yet.
It gets worse so lose hope later.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why do teenagers travel in groups of three?
Because they can't even.
What does a teenage cowboy say when he throws somebody out of the saloon?
Yeet-haw!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A teenager got s**... in well.
He calls 911.
Boy: 911?
Operator: 911, what's your emergency?
Boy: I'm stuck in a well.
Operator: How old are you? Is the well deep?
Boy: im14andthisisdeep.
I said to my teenage son "There are two words I'm hearing a lot, and they're starting to grate"
"I'd like you to stop using them so much, please. One of them is 'cringe' and the other is 'epic'. Do you think you could manage that?"
He said "Sure, Dad -- what are the two words?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why are teenage girls always in groups of three, five, seven or nine?
Because they can't even.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why do teenage girls walk in groups of 3, 5 and 7?
Because they literally can't even
I caught my teenage son flying a kite during a thunderstorm, after I told him not to do it.
So I immediately grounded him.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Teenage boys
Two teenage boys go to confession. In the booth the first boy admits having s**... with a girl but refuses to name her. The priest asks, 'It wasn't Mary Jones, was it?' The boy says 'No, Father it wasn't'. The priest asks' 'Was it Angela Brown?'. The boy replies 'No, Father. it wasn't. 'It wasn't Jane Carter by any chance?' The boy says 'No father it wasn't' The priest gives up and says 'Well for your penance say fifty Hail Mary's and leave half your pocket money in the poor box.' When the boy leaves his friend asks him how it went. He replies 'Not bad, a $5 fine and three great leads!'
