Teen Jokes
140 teen jokes and hilarious teen puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about teen that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Teen Short Jokes
Short teen jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The teen humour may include short daughter jokes also.
- If Snapchat has taught me anything .... .... it's that a lot of today's teens look better as farm animals.
- How many prepubescent teen boys does it take to screw in a light bulb? He said "screw" lolol
- What do a pregnant teen and her baby have in common? Both of their moms are gonna kill 'em
- My friend got arrested for shooting an unarmed black teen He was charged for impersonating a police officer.
- A teen is telling his parents what he wants to major in "I want to be a history major," he says.
The dad responds, "No you don't! There's no future in it!" - I'm 37 years old, a husband, and a father of two pre-teens AND I don't tell Dad jokes... because he left when I was 2.
- Why is Leo DiCaprio soo good at Black Jack? He always hits on teens and never goes over 21.
- My teen daughter is acting really odd. She can't even. It's causing a family divide. We've got to figure it out before our problems multiply.
- Roy Moore opened a clothing store in Birmingham, but it was quickly shut down. Parents were pretty upset when they realized "Teen girls clothes always half off" was the entry policy, not a sale.
- How many teens does it take to change a light bulb 1, they stand there and wait for the world to revolve around them
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Teen One Liners
Which teen one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with teen? I can suggest the ones about student and boys.
- Why do you always see teen girls in groups of three? Because they literally can't even.
- A pregnant teen and her baby is thinking the same thing... "My mom is gonna kill me."
- What is the opposite of a protein? An amateur teen ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
- Hey, Roy Moore; what's the weather forecast? Tonight, we'll be dipping into the teens.
- Why didn't the Muslim youth get the coronavirus? Because he was a Quran Teen.
- You can say what you will about Cis Teens But they can sure make a nice chapel
- Teen pregnancy? More like *child labour*
- What happened when the Eskimo teens went clubbing? They got new fur coats.
- What do you call an isolated, Religious, Islamic teenager? A Quran-teen
- What did the depressed teen say to the other depressed teen? Can you knot?
- Did you know teen pregnancies… Take a sharp decline at the age of 20.
- Why are Teen aged boys so good at fishing? Because they're Master Baiters.
- What do R. Kelly and current temperatures have in common? They're both in the teens.
- What do you call it when a school is made for Tumblr teens? Edgy-cation....
I'm sorry - What did 18 Year olds in the Byzantine Empire do for fun? Nothing they were busy teens.
Teen Mom Jokes
Here is a list of funny teen mom jokes and even better teen mom puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- the miracle of being a teen mom when you get pregnant young and your baby is born, hes feet are so small but even so he manages to stomp your dreams and goals.
- Q: What do pregnant teenagers and their unborn babies have in common?
A: Both their moms are going to kill them! - A teen got pregnant and said "Oh my god my moms going to kill me!" and then her fetus said "Oh my god my moms going to kill me!"
- My thoughts on MTV's "Teen Mom" being cancelled. MTV has cancelled "Teen Mom".
At least MTV knows when to pull out. - What do teen mothers and their unborn babies have in common? They're both thinking, "Oh my God, my mom's gonna kill me!"
- What does a teen mom and her baby have in common? They are both a disappointment to their parents
- What did the teen say when she found out she was pregnant? "My mom is gonna kill me!"
What did the fetus say when the teen found out she was pregnant?
" My mom is gonna kill me!" - Teen-aged Son: Hey Mom, what should I get my girlfriend for her birthday? Mom: A microscope.
- In what store will you always find a drunkard and a teen mom? Any store with the right parents
- So did you guys hear that Farrah from Teen Mom has a s**... video? It must be a prequel spin off.
Teen Spirit Jokes
Here is a list of funny teen spirit jokes and even better teen spirit puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A Hindu candle company has released a "Nirvana" scented candle. It smells like teen spirit.
- Kurt Cobain hated Smells Like Teen Spirit so much... He killed the songwriter
- Why did kurt Cobain kill himself? Because he thought his shotgun smelled like teen spirit!
- How do you react to the fragrance of a bottle of wine from the year 2000? Smells like teen spirit.
- How do you know if your wine was made in the 90's? It smells like teen spirit.
- My farts smells like teen spirit. t**....
Teen Pregnancy Jokes
Here is a list of funny teen pregnancy jokes and even better teen pregnancy puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why Does Italy Have Such A Low Teen Pregnancy Rate? Because the kids learn in Italian history to always pull out
- So I heard they're being stricter with teen pregnancies. Apparently people have problems with the child labor.
- Teen pregnancy is horrible... It creates child labor.
- Why aren't there any teen pregnancies at Hogwarts? *waves wand*
Fetus deletus
Uproarious Teen Jokes to Share with Friends
What funny jokes about teen you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean aged jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make teen pranks.
When I was a teen, my dad showed me a 30 minute PowerPoint presentation on why one should always wear a c**... during s**....
All the slide were just pictures of me.
A teenager gets pulled over for speeding...
The cop says "License and Registration please."
As the teenager is grabbing it out of the glove compartment, the cop then says, "Ya know, I've been waiting for a s**... kid like you all day."
The teenager says, "Well officer, I got here as quick as I could."
Whats the difference between a Priest and Acne?
*Acne waits until you're a teen to come on your face*
^^^^^^^^^^edit^^^^^^^^^^, ^^^^^^^^^^grammar
What do you say to the teenage mutant ninja turtle Raphael when he is holding a miniature version of his weapons?
Those are the wrong Sais
A teenage girl went to visit the doctor for her cough complaint.
The doctor examined her with his stethoscope. 'Big breaths' he said. 'Yeah, and I am only thixteen' she replied.
How many teenagers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One. He holds it up, and the world revolves around him to screw it in.
When I was a teenager, I'd lock myself in my bedroom for hours every night...
One night, my dad kicked the door open to find out what I was doing. He walked in to discover me sitting on my hand.
"Ah, that old trick," he laughed. I gave an awkward smile back.
"I have to say, son," he continued, "I'm relieved to be honest. I thought you might've been doing something weird. I'll leave you to it."
When he closed the door behind him, I just shrugged my shoulders and carried on f**... myself
How are teenaged boys like the enzyme helicase?
They both want to unzip your genes!
credit goes to Hank from CrashCourse on Youtube :)
Friends son turned 13 today. Any teenager jokes I could give him?
I'll start. Why do we know Abrahams son wasn't a teen when Abraham tried to sacrifice him? Because if he was a teenager, it wouldn't have been a sacrifice.
Why do teenage girls hang out in odd-numbered groups?
Because they can't even.
A teenager buys condoms for the first time...
The cashier says, "That'll be $9.95 plus tax.".
Horrified, the boy exclaims "I thought they stayed on by themselves!"
Foreplay
After the first week of s**... education class, a young shapely teen stormed out of the room after the class was over. Encountering a female friend in the hall, the friend asked, "Lori, what in the world is the matter with you? You look as if you're about to kill someone." "I am !!!" Lori fumed. "You just wait until I catch up with that Dennis. All summer long, that clown had me convinced that 'foreplay' involved tossing a coin for position."
How many teenagers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Whatever.
A teenager had just passed his drivers test, and he asked his dad to buy him a car
"Dad, will you be able to get me a car?" Asked the boy
"I suppose a car would be in order *if* you can raise your grades from C's to B's, you study your Bible, and cut your hair." Replied the father.
After contemplating for many hours, the boy decided it was a good and fair compromise. Six weeks later, the father is astonished. His son was excelling in school, he studied his Bible every day, but his hair was still long and shaggy.
"I am very impressed with you" said the father "you are passing all of your classes, and you read the Bible every day. But why wont you cut your hair?"
"After reading the Bible, I have noticed something." Said the boy "Moses, Samson, and Absalom all had long hair. There is even evidence that *Jesus* may have had long hair!"
The father replied back "Did you also notice how they had to walk everywhere too?"
A teenage boy decides to stop m**....
A teenage girl had been talking on the phone for about half an hour
A teenage girl had been talking on the phone for about half an hour, and then she hung up.
"Wow!," said her father, "That was short. You usually talk for two hours. What happened?"
"Wrong number," replied the girl.
How is an American teen girl different from an arab teen girl.
An American teen girl gets s**... *before* she has s**....
A teenager got his driver's license...
...and asked his father, who was a minister, if he could use his car.
The father said, "If you bring your grades up, study the Bible, and get a haircut, then you can use the car."
One month later, the teenager asked his father about using the car again. The father said, "Son, I'm proud of you. You have brought your grades up and studied the Bible every day. But you still haven't gotten a haircut!"
His son said, "Dad, in my studying of the Bible, I found that many great people had long hair. Samson had long hair. Moses, Noah, and John the Baptist had long hair. Even Jesus had long hair."
His father said, "Yes, and they walked everywhere they went!"
When I was a teenager I saw my grandparents having s**......
...It was the grossest thing I ever saw...
...once I finished.
A teenage girl come home from school and asks her mother, "Is it true what Rita just told me?"
"What's that?" asks her mother. "That babies come out of the same place where boys put their p**...?" said her daughter.
"Yes it is dear!" replies her mother, pleased that the subject had finally come up and that she wouldn't have to explain it to her daughter.
"But then, when I have a baby," responded the teenager, "won't it knock my teeth out?"
Why do teenage girls go to the bathroom in 3s and 5s?
Because they literally can't even.
My teenage son told me I am a resentful has-been. We had a good, hearty laugh together about that.
Then i changed the WIFI password
A teenage boy goes up to his father
"Father I am not a v**... anymore"
Father: "Wow that's great! Lets sit down and drink something celebrate about this moment"
Son: "Ok, I can drink with you but I can't sit"
After trick-or-treating, a teen takes a shortcut home through the cemetery.
Halfway across, he's startled by a tapping noise coming from the misty shadows. Trembling with fear, he spots an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at a headstone.
I thought you were a ghost, says the relieved teen.
What are you doing working so late?
Oh, those idiots, grumbles the old man. They misspelled my name!
The funny thing about teen pregnancy is that before it happens all you hear is "Don't do it! You'll regret it! You'll lose your freedom! Make the responsible choice!" Then after it happens, they say "We're a still disappointed, but we can still make the best of this. It's not the end of the world."
s**... auto-correct: I meant "Trump's presidency" not "teen pregnancy".
My teenage son is obsessed with the difference between sine and cosine.
But I'm sure it's just a phase.
My teenage daughter came home in a rage.
"I've just had s**... education in school today, Dad!
You lied to me!
You told me if I have s**... before my sixteenth birthday my boyfriend will die!"
I put down my paper: "Oh, he will sweetheart, he will.
Dad: When you turn 18, I'm taking you to the s**... club.
Teen: Of course not dad!
Dad: Oh shut up Jessica, it's time for you to start bringing money to the house.
Two teenagers snuck into a crypt at night. One tripped over a small bone and the other unashamedly laughed.
Can't blame him though, it was a little humerus.
When I was a teenager, my dad found cigarettes in my room & made me smoke the whole pack.
I'm really glad he didn't find my bag of h**....
The funny thing about teen pregnancy is they all say, "Don't do it! You will lose all your freedom! Make the responsible choice." But after it happens they say "We're disappointed but we can make the best of this. It's not the end of the world."
Whoops, I accidentally autocorrected "Trumps' Presidency" to "teen pregnancy"
Did you hear about the teen s**... figures throughout the Muslim community?
It's exploded in the past few years
How are teenage boys and the enzyme helicase similar?
They both want to unzip your genes
When I was a teenager, I used to punch my memory foam pillow when my anger was getting beyond control.
Now it's memorized all my moves, and I live in constant fear.
A teenage girl brought her new boyfriend home to meet her parents.
They were appalled by his leather jacket, motorcycle boots, tattoos, and pierced nose. Later, the parents pulled their daughter aside and confessed their concern. "Dear," the mother said, "he doesn't seem very nice."
"Oh please, Mom," the daughter replied. "If he wasn't nice, why would he be doing 200 hours of community service?"
When I was a teenager, my mom always said that your bedroom is so messy that you will never get any self-respecting girl to come back here.
Luckily they weren't the ones I was going after.
2 teenage friends were outside when they saw a female streaker walking down the street.
One of them ran away as soon as he saw her, but the other one stayed and watched for a while.
They saw each other at school the next day, and the one who stayed asked his friend why he ran away. His friend said "My mom said that if I ever look at a n**... girl too long I'll turn to stone. And I already felt something getting hard."
A teenage boy is like an alarm clock
Comes in handy once a day
A teenager lost a contact lens while playing in the driveway...
After a fruitless search, he went inside the house and told his mother he lost a lens and, try as he might, could not find it.
Undaunted, the mother went outside and in only a few minutes returned with the lens in her hand.
"How did you manage to find it, mom?" the teenager asked.
"We weren't looking for the same thing" she replied. "You were looking for a small piece of plastic. I was looking for $150".
Give a teen a pizza, they'll be full for a day
Give a teen a tide pod, they'll be full for the rest of their life
What does a teenager with a lisp and a nun have in common?
Faith book
I don't know why Christians are so hard on u**... teen mothers.
I mean, Jesus turned out alright.
What did the teenage tornado say to his parents?
Nothing. He just stormed off.
My teenage daughter came home from school and she was blazing mad. We had s**... education today dad and you lied to me! You told me if I have s**... before my sixteenth birthday, my boyfriend will die! I put down my newspaper, looked at her and said…
Oh, he will, sweetheart, he will.
Why do teenagers always walk in groups of three?
Because they can't even.
I don't understand this recent trend where everyone seems to be obsessed with protein.
I'm way more into amateur teen.
A teenager takes a seat on a bench next to a middle aged man reading a newspaper...
After a few minutes the man looks over and stares intently at the youth's multicolored mohawk. The teenager looks over at the man and says "What's the matter old man, never done anything interesting in your life?"
The man responded, "I once got drunk and had s**... with a parrot, I was just wondering if you were my son."
A teenager, who just turned 18, desperately wants a car.
His mother tells him to buy one himself. A chemistry student himself, he finds an effective money-making strategy. Every day, he would sell mixtures of Rhenium, Phosphorus, Osmium, and Tennessine, and he was earning a lot from the sales. Curious, his mother asks him about the mixtures.
The teen replied: RePOsTs are the fastest way to car, Ma.
A teenager girl goes for confession and tells the preist that she's pregnant with the second coming.
Naturally, the priest is furious at the implied blasphemy.
"How dare you? That's blasphemy. Explain yourself. How do you know you're pregnant with the second coming?" he thundered.
I... I... I.. I swallowed the first.
Why do teenagers travel in groups of 1,3,5 or 7?
Because they literally can't even.
When I became a teenager, my father gave me a 30 minute Power Point Presentation on the dangers of having unprotected s**....
All the slides were just pictures of me.
A teenage girl comes home from school and asks her mother
"Is it true that babies come out of the same place that boys put their p**...?"
The mother, hesitatingly replies "Yes dear" and plans on how to explain s**... to her daughter.
The shocked teenager responds "But then when I have a baby, won't it knock out all my teeth"
My teenage son treats me like a god.
He acts like I don't exist, until he wants something.
Two teenage boys are walking down an alley
when they see a stray dog l**... its c**....
The one boy says, Man, I really wish I could do that.
His friend responds, I don't know, you'd better pet him and see if he's friendly, first.
Why do teenagers travel in groups of three?
Because they can't even.
How to know if someone is a teenager on Reddit:
After trick-or-treating on Halloween, a teen takes a shortcut through a cemetery.
Halfway across, he's startled by a tapping noise coming from the misty shadows. Trembling with fear, he spots an old man chipping away at a headstone. "I thought you were a ghost," says the relieved teen. "What are you doing working so late?" "Oh, those idiots," grumbles the old man. "They misspelled my name!"
A teenager got s**... in well.
He calls 911.
Boy: 911?
Operator: 911, what's your emergency?
Boy: I'm stuck in a well.
Operator: How old are you? Is the well deep?
Boy: im14andthisisdeep.
I said to my teenage son "There are two words I'm hearing a lot, and they're starting to grate"
"I'd like you to stop using them so much, please. One of them is 'cringe' and the other is 'epic'. Do you think you could manage that?"
He said "Sure, Dad -- what are the two words?"
My teenage daughter can't decide whether she wants to be a hairdresser or a short story writer...
I guess she'll have to flip a coin....
Heads or Tales.
When I was a teenager, I had to learn how to drive a stick.
We couldn't afford a car.
Why are teenage girls always in groups of three, five, seven or nine?
Because they can't even.
I just can't stop ogling at hot 18 year olds dressed in nothing but p**....
I could say I've a knicker teen addiction.
Why do teenage girls walk in groups of 3, 5 and 7?
Because they literally can't even
A ragged looking teen is begging for food on the street
A guy comes along and buys him a sandwich. He asks the kid, are you an orphan?
The kid replies, yes I am. What gave me away?
The guy says, obviously, your parents
A teenage girl brought her new boyfriend home to meet her parents.
They were appalled at his spiky hair, pierced nose, tattoos and a bad attitude. Later, the parents pulled their daughter aside and confessed their concern. "Honey," the mother said, "he doesn't seem very nice."
"Of course he is," the daughter replied. "If he wasn't nice, why would he be doing 500 hours of community service?"
