Teddy Jokes
72 teddy jokes and hilarious teddy puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about teddy that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Discover the funniest teddy jokes to make every day Teddy Day a hilarious one. From teddy bear picnics and Bearly Caine references to Bunny in the Fur jokes- these teddy jokes are sure to bring smiles and laughter to the whole family.
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Funniest Teddy Short Jokes
Short teddy jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The teddy humour may include short stuffed bear jokes also.
- A little girl is having a tea party with her teddy bear.... "Would you like anything to eat Mr. Bear?" The bear responds:"No, I'm stuffed."
- A constipated man robs a toy store. He steals everything but one teddy bear Because he is unable to take a pooh
- A teddy bear sits down at a restaurant The waiter asks, Would you like anything? The bear responds, No, I'm stuffed.
- So my son asked me why his teddy bear didn't need to eat. I said why, he said Because he's stuffed.
- Difference between Romantic and Horror Movie After watching a romantic one, you look for your teddy to hug.
After watching a horror one, your teddy starts looking at you - If Teddy Roosevelt was still alive today, what would he be most famous for? Being really, really old.
- The Kennedys Everyone says Teddy kennedy was the big alcoholic of the family. But when you think about it, it was John who was taking shots in the middle of his own parade!
- What did the teddy bear say after blowing out the birthday candles? No thanks I'm stuffed!
- A constipated man robs a toy store He proceeds to take everything from the store, accept for the teddy bears.
Why did he not take the bears?
He couldn't take a Pooh. - What would Theodore Roosevelt be called if he was a professional bodybuilder? Teddy Swolevelt.
Yes, I know it's awful, Just had to get it out of my head.
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Teddy One Liners
Which teddy one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with teddy? I can suggest the ones about bears and pooh bear.
- People often ask what I do at the teddy bear factory. Just stuff.
- Why are teddy bears never hungry? They're stuffed.
- Why was the teddy bear never hungry? Because he was always stuffed
- Why didn't my teddy bear get invited to Thanksgiving? He 's already stuffed!
- Why couldn't the teddy bear smell? Because his nose was stuffed
- Q. Why couldn't the teddy bear eat his dessert?
A. Cause he was stuffed. - Why couldn't the Teddy Bear eat? Because it was stuffed
- What did the teddy bear say after it finished eating dinner? I'm stuffed
- Why couldn't the teddy bear finish his brithday cake? He was already stuffed.
- What did the cannibalistic teddy eat for Christmas? Stuffing.
- What are teddy bear poops called? Fleeces
- What did the teddy bear have for dinner? Nothing he was stuffed
- I told my teddy bear it was cute. it plushed.
- What is a teddy bears favorite food... Stuffing.
- Why are teddy bears never hungry. They are always stuffed!
Teddy Bear Jokes
Here is a list of funny teddy bear jokes and even better teddy bear puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What's the difference between a beautiful night and a horror night? Beautiful night is when you hug your teddy bear and sleep.
Horror night is...
when your teddy bear hugs you BACK. - It's my cake day.. why couldn't the Teddy Bear finish his cake? He was already stuffed!!
Haha
Sorry it's so cheese. - My daughter was having a pretend dinner party with her teddy bear and she asked, Do you want anything to eat, Mr. Bear? In my best bear voice, I replied, No thanks, I'm stuffed!"
- What did the teddy bear say when it was offered some birthday cake? No thanks, I'm stuffed
- I recently purchased a teddy bear for £10 And named it Mohammed, then sold it for £20.
My question is.....have I made a Prophet? - What did the teddy bear say after he felt full? I'm stuffed
- Why don't teddy bears ever order dessert? Because they're always stuffed.
- Why wasn't the teddy bear hungry? He was already stuffed!
- Why don't teddy bears eat? They're already always stuffed
- What do an aggressive teddy bear and this joke have in common? The punch is pretty weak
Teddy Roosevelt Jokes
Here is a list of funny teddy roosevelt jokes and even better teddy roosevelt puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why was Teddy Roosevelt mean to horses?
He was a rough rider!
Comical & Quirky Teddy Jokes for a Roaring Good Time
What funny jokes about teddy you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bunny jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make teddy pranks.
Kid runs away from home
A man scolded his son for being so unruly and the child rebelled against his father. He got some of his clothes, his teddy bear and his piggy bank and proudly announced, 'I'm running away from home!'.
The father calmly decided to look at the matter logically. 'What if you get hungry?', he said.
'Then I'll come home and eat!', bravely declared the child. ' And what if you run out of money?'.
'I will come home and get some!', readily replied the child.
The man then made a final attempt, 'What if your clothes get dirty?'.
'Then I'll come home and let mommy wash them.', was the reply.
The man shook his head and exclaimed, 'This kid is not running away from home, he's going off to college!!'.
Teddy Bears
A man meets a gorgeous woman in a bar. They talk, they connect, they end up leaving together.
They get back to her place, and as she shows him around her apartment, he notices that her bedroom is completely packed with teddy bears.
Hundreds of small bears on a shelf all the way along the floor, medium sized ones on a shelf a little higher and huge bears on the top shelf along the wall.
The man is kind of surprised that this woman would have a collection of teddy bears, especially one that's so extensive, but he decides not to mention this to her.
After a night of passion, as they are lying together in the after glow the man rolls over and asks, smiling, "Well, how was it?"
The woman says, "You can have any prize from the BOTTOM shelf."
I recently bought a teddy bear named Muhammad...
for $10. And a week later, sold it for $20. The question is, did I make a Prophet?
s**... positions
My favourite s**... position is the Teddy Kennedy.
That's where she drowns in it and I quickly leave the scene.
Two guys from the 50's
Two guys from the 50's were talking out front of one's house.
The first neighbor says to the other, " what do you think of that new family, the Petrov's?"
The second neighbor looks at him and replies, " I don't know if they're commies Teddy, but they sure do raise a lot of red flags."
My girlfriend and I have our childhood teddy bears that we put into s**... positions. I told her we should try to do things that we make them do.
Today, she came back from the toy store with a bunch of black bears...
The son wanna date a neighbour
\- Dad, can I date Lisa next door?
\- No, she is your sister.
\- How about Anna in block 59?
\- No, she is your little sister.
\- Ok, this is weird. How about Karen the waitress? Can I date her or is she my sister too?
\- No, she is your brother.
The upset son goes tell his mother about what his dad said.
The mother gentlely comforts him:
\- You can date whoever you want, teddy bear. You are not his son.
How did the Space Teddy Bear cross the road?
Ewoked.
Our daughter wants us to set a place at our Thanksgiving dinner table, for her teddy bear, Theodore. She promises he won't eat very much.
She said he has been eating a lot lately, and is already stuffed
up on the oil rigs
so these two albertans, jordan and teddy, are working away up north, on a long stint. jordan says "hey teddy, whats the first thing you're gonna do when you get home" and teddy replies "I'm gonna go straight upstairs and tear off my wifes p**...!" and jordan says "oh yeah??" and teddy replies "yeah man they are really chafing me, right here".
Why didn't the teddy bear eat dessert?
**He was stuffed.**
When a man is poor and fat, he's a fat a**.... When a man is rich and fat, he's:
My cute chubby teddy bear
