Teddy Bears Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Teddy Bears jokes. There are some teddy bears doll jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these teddy bears does a bear crap in the woods puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Silly & Ridiculous Teddy Bears Jokes to Spread Joy & Laughter

Q. Why couldn't the teddy bear eat his dessert?
A. Cause he was stuffed.

How do you start a teddy bear race?

Ready, teddy, go.

Kid runs away from home

A man scolded his son for being so unruly and the child rebelled against his father. He got some of his clothes, his teddy bear and his piggy bank and proudly announced, 'I'm running away from home!'.

The father calmly decided to look at the matter logically. 'What if you get hungry?', he said.

'Then I'll come home and eat!', bravely declared the child. ' And what if you run out of money?'.

'I will come home and get some!', readily replied the child.

The man then made a final attempt, 'What if your clothes get dirty?'.

'Then I'll come home and let mommy wash them.', was the reply.

The man shook his head and exclaimed, 'This kid is not running away from home, he's going off to college!!'.

Teddy Bears

A man meets a gorgeous woman in a bar. They talk, they connect, they end up leaving together.
They get back to her place, and as she shows him around her apartment, he notices that her bedroom is completely packed with teddy bears.
Hundreds of small bears on a shelf all the way along the floor, medium sized ones on a shelf a little higher and huge bears on the top shelf along the wall.
The man is kind of surprised that this woman would have a collection of teddy bears, especially one that's so extensive, but he decides not to mention this to her.
After a night of passion, as they are lying together in the after glow the man rolls over and asks, smiling, "Well, how was it?"
The woman says, "You can have any prize from the BOTTOM shelf."

jokes about teddy bears

One of my female friends said that she thinks of me like a teddy bear

because the only people who would want to have sex with me are mentally unstable.

I recently bought a teddy bear named Muhammad...

for $10. And a week later, sold it for $20. The question is, did I make a Prophet?

Why couldn't the teddy bear smell?

Because his nose was stuffed

Teddy Bears joke, Why couldn't the teddy bear smell?

I recently purchased a teddy bear for £10

And named it Mohammed, then sold it for £20.
My question is.....have I made a Prophet?

What do you call a teddy bear that cant eat any more?


A little girl is having a tea party with her teddy bear.... "Would you like anything to eat Mr. Bear?"

The bear responds:"No, I'm stuffed."

Why do you never see a Teddy bear ordering dessert?

Cus they are always stuffed.

You can explore teddy bears grizzly reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean teddy bears snuggle dad jokes. There are also teddy bears puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

What do an aggressive teddy bear and this joke have in common?

The punch is pretty weak

Why don't teddy bears eat?

They're already always stuffed

Why couldn't the Teddy Bear eat?

Because it was stuffed

Why didn't my teddy bear get invited to Thanksgiving?

He 's already stuffed!

What is a teddy bears favorite food...


Teddy Bears joke, What is a teddy bears favorite food...

People often ask what I do at the teddy bear factory.

Just stuff.

If a Teddy Bear Smokes Weed....

....Does He Get Cotton Mouth?

What did the teddy bear say when it was offered some birthday cake?

No thanks, I'm stuffed

What are teddy bear poops called?


Why don't teddy bears ever order dessert?

Because they're always stuffed.

My daughter was having a pretend dinner party with her teddy bear and she asked, Do you want anything to eat, Mr. Bear?

In my best bear voice, I replied, No thanks, I'm stuffed!"

Why did the teddy bear turn down a slice of cake

Because it was stuffed

Why don't you feed your teddy bear?

Because it's always stuffed.

What did the teddy bear say after he felt full?

I'm stuffed

Why are teddy bears never hungry.

They are always stuffed!

Teddy Bears joke, Why are teddy bears never hungry.

What did the teddy bear say after it finished eating dinner?

I'm stuffed

A constipated man robs a toy store. He steals everything but one teddy bear

Because he is unable to take a pooh

Why wasn't the teddy bear hungry?

He was already stuffed!

A constipated man robs a toy store

He proceeds to take everything from the store, accept for the teddy bears.

Why did he not take the bears?

He couldn't take a Pooh.

My girlfriend and I have our childhood teddy bears that we put into sexual positions. I told her we should try to do things that we make them do.

Today, she came back from the toy store with a bunch of black bears...

Why do Teddy bears never eat?

Because they are always stuffed.

The son wanna date a neighbour

\- Dad, can I date Lisa next door?

\- No, she is your sister.

\- How about Anna in block 59?

\- No, she is your little sister.

\- Ok, this is weird. How about Karen the waitress? Can I date her or is she my sister too?

\- No, she is your brother.

The upset son goes tell his mother about what his dad said.

The mother gentlely comforts him:

\- You can date whoever you want, teddy bear. You are not his son.

How did the Space Teddy Bear cross the road?


I told my teddy bear it was cute.

it plushed.

Our daughter wants us to set a place at our Thanksgiving dinner table, for her teddy bear, Theodore. She promises he won't eat very much.

She said he has been eating a lot lately, and is already stuffed

A teddy bear sits down at a restaurant

The waiter asks, Would you like anything? The bear responds, No, I'm stuffed.

Why couldn't the teddy bear finish his brithday cake?

He was already stuffed.

What's the difference between a beautiful night and a horror night?

Beautiful night is when you hug your teddy bear and sleep.

Horror night is...

when your teddy bear hugs you BACK.

So my son asked me why his teddy bear didn't need to eat. I said why, he said

Because he's stuffed.

Did you hear about the Hooters that's owned and operated by bears?

There are some big ole Teddies in there

It's my cake day.. why couldn't the Teddy Bear finish his cake?

He was already stuffed!!
Sorry it's so cheese.

Why didn't the teddy bear eat dessert?

**He was stuffed.**

Why was the teddy bear never hungry?

Because he was always stuffed

When a man is poor and fat, he's a fat ass. When a man is rich and fat, he's:

My cute chubby teddy bear

What did the teddy bear have for dinner?

Nothing he was stuffed

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the teddy bears chicago bear puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working teddy bears chicago bears piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes