Technology Jokes

141 technology jokes and hilarious technology puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about technology that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Get ready to laugh! This article contains a comprehensive collection of technology jokes designed just for work, students, speeches, seniors, and other tech fans. Have fun with jokes about wireless routers, tablets, and technicians.

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Funniest Technology Short Jokes

Short technology jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The technology humour may include short science jokes also.

  1. My grandpa said "your life revolves too much around technology. Then I said, "no, yours does." Then I unplugged his life support.
  2. I proudly showed my son, "Check this out! Bought a new shrub trimmer today!" He shrugged and replied, "That's great, dad." I continued... "It's cutting hedge technology!"
  3. I never knew how technologically advanced moses was... But today I learned he had the first tablet that could connect to the cloud.
  4. I was talking to my grandfather When he said
    "your generation relies too much on technology"
    I then said
    " no grandpa yours does"
    Then I unplugged his life support.
  5. Modern technology has never matched the simplicity and grace of the traditional pen. In fact, you could say that there is still no e-quill.
  6. I always assumed that China has extremely sophisticated spying technology that they use on their rivals. Well, that balloon has burst.
  7. I used to work in restaurants before switching to information technology... ... The biggest difference is that the phrase "my server went down on me" is no longer a good thing.
  8. I'm beginning to worry about my obsession with technology. I told my doctor, "I think I'm addicted to Twitter."
    He replied, "I don't follow you."
  9. My Grandfather told me my generation is to reliant on technology. I told him, "no Grandpa, yours does." Then I unplugged his life support.
  10. There's a University called the National University of Science and Technology It's not called the National University of Technology and Science, because that would be NUTS.

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Technology One Liners

Which technology one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with technology? I can suggest the ones about skills and tools.

  1. What do you call a robotic emo that likes dark humor. Cutting edge technology
  2. I bought a new set of Electric Garden Trimmers. They're cutting-hedge technology.
  3. Apple is releasing a new product called the iKnife. It's cutting edge technology.
  4. Knives are extremely advanced They are all cutting edge technology
  5. Next Battlefield map set in Nepal. It's made using groundbreaking technology.
  6. What do you call an innovation in scissors? Cutting-edge technology
  7. Sure, lightsabers are cutting edge technology but the Death Star is groundbreaking
  8. The Guillotine was supposed to be ahead of its time It had cutting edge technology
  9. The technology behind whiteboards is remarkable.
  10. What do you call a major advancement made by an emo? Cutting edge technology.
  11. Why don't we use swords anymore? Aren't they still cutting edge technology?
  12. Have you guys heard about the new jackhammer? It's ground breaking technology
  13. Are you fond of alternative sources for cooling technologies? I'm a huge fan.
  14. I own an innovative gardening supplies store. We sell cutting-hedge technology.
  15. Guys I designed my own knife It uses cutting edge technology
    (Also blue cheese)

Technology Day Jokes

Here is a list of funny technology day jokes and even better technology day puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • People these days recoil at the idea of brain transplants becoming possible in the near future. Just wait until we develop the technology. They'll change their minds.
  • It's a lot of rubbish when people talk about "how good" modern kids are these days with technology. My grandson is staying for the weekend, and he looks absolutely clueless with my VCR and VHS tapes.
  • Never thought I'd see a day where technology is so advanced you can watch a movie at home with the same experience, But here VR
  • Crikey, more sad news from the world of technology: Anti-virus developer John McAfee is appearing in court for manslaughter... They estimate the trial could last for 30 days.
  • My grandfather said youth can't live without technology these days I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support
  • Technology is crazy these days We now have smartphones, wireless TVs, and tablets.
    When I was a kid we had to blow everything. The Nintendo cartridge, the mouse with that ball inside, the priest.
  • My grandfather told me my generation is too dependant on technology now-a-days. I told the doctor to pull his plug.
  • Baby, if you were an iPhone 6, I would tap you all day!
  • There was a computers and technology fair on the 10th of September... I arrived at the venue but they all looked at me confused. They told me the fair was 8 days ago. Ridiculous!
  • I'm looking foward the day we can use technology to revive people! So Epstein will pay his debt to the society.

Institute Technology Jokes

Here is a list of funny institute technology jokes and even better institute technology puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Elon Musk wants to start a university called the 'Texas Institute of Technology & Science and an affiliate called Austin School of Science To be known as t**... and a**...
Technology joke, Elon Musk wants to start a university called the 'Texas Institute of Technology & Science and an aff

Information Technology Jokes

Here is a list of funny information technology jokes and even better information technology puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Stephen King I still think it's weird his most popular book is about Information Technology.
  • I'm really pleased to see a surge of interest in Information Technology. Some of the most popular videos on YouTube right now are about IT!
  • I had just finished a book by Stephan King '' IT '' 1/10. There is not a word about information technology or information processing. . Would not recommend
  • What is a geeks favorite horror novel? Information Technology by Stephen King
  • Did you hear DMX started an information technology company? It has a pretty aggressive slogan... X gonna give IT to ya!

Wireless Technology Jokes

Here is a list of funny wireless technology jokes and even better wireless technology puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Eventhough technology is advancing, there is still a dilemma between wired or wireless. There are many things in which wired is better.
    Example: hanging yourself.
Technology joke, Eventhough technology is advancing, there is still a dilemma between wired or wireless.

Cheerful Fun Technology Jokes to Brighten Your Day with Humor and Joy

What funny jokes about technology you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean industry jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make technology pranks.

President Obama visits the Pentagon...

President Obama visits the Pentagon to test out the latest in military technology.
A scientist says to him "We have two projects that we are very proud of. One is a powered exoskeleton and the other is an invisibility cloak. Which would you like to try first?"
Obama replies, "Uh, let me be clear."

I work for the world's largest nanotechnology company.

We're not very good.

Putin, Obama and Merkel stand at the sea

Putin presents a submarine, saying: "This best russian technology! Our submarines stay 1 month under water without ever need to go surface!"
Obama smiles and says:
"This is our submarine... It can stay up to 3 months under water, no need to emerge even one time!"
Merkel stands next to them saying nothing.
Suddenly the sea is rambling and a submarine emerges next to them.
The top hatch opens and out pops and old man, raising his arm and shouting

A married couple is having a baby...

As she is going into labor, the doctor asks the man, "would you like to take part in this new technology that allows half the pain of the pregnancy to be put on to the father." The husband accepts, and they go on with the birth. Afterwards they ask him how he felt, he replied, "I didn't feel anything I don't understand what the big deal is about this. Later that day, they find the postman dead at their house.

So aliens flew by our planet recently and one asked the other...

Alien 1 How advanced is that civilization?
Alien 2 They have discovered nuclear technology.
Alien 1 Oh boy... That's pretty intelligent. We better keep our distance then from their missles.
Alien 2 Nah, they're not that smart yet. They have em pointed at themselves.

Your generation relies too much on technology.

My Grandpa said, "Your generation relies too much on technology!" I replied, "No, your generation relies too much on technology!" Then I unplugged his life support.

"Your generation is too reliant on technology," my grandfather said to me.

"No, YOUR generation is too reliant on technology!" I said as I pulled the plug of his life support in order to further prove my point.

Technology has ruined our kids

A group of young children were siting in a circle with their teacher. She was going around in turn asking them all questions.
"Davy, what noise does a cow make? "
"It goes moo. "
"Alice, what noise does a cat make? "
"It goes meow. "
"Jamie, what sound does a lamb make? "
"It goes baaa. "
"Jennifer, what sound does a mouse make? "
"Errr.., it goes.. click! "

A tourist was lost, wandering in the rainforest, when suddenly...

...he runs into some tribal warriors. In an attempt to scare them off, he decides to frighten them with his modern technology.
He whips out the bic lighter in his pocket and flicks it in.
"Wow!" Said one warrior to another. "I've never seen one of those light in the first try!"

My Grandpa said, " Your generation relies too much on technology. I'm doing you a favor" as he tossed my phone into the toilet.

I laughed, and replied "No Grandpa, but yours does," as I unplugged his life support.

Whoever said technology would replace all paper obviously hasn't tried wiping their but with an IPad.

New technology uses bacteria to power a laptop

I guess you could say the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the dell

A mans wife was in labor when the doctor said...

You know, there is an experimental technology that can transfer your pain to the father, but he will feel the pain 10 times as much
The husband, seeing his wife in pain hurt him too much and said, Do it. I'm strong enough
The doctor then did it, and the man didn't feel a thing, which the doctor found odd.
Later, the couple came home, and found their mailman, on their driveway, dead.

Computer diagnosis

One day, Pete complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts. I guess I should see a doctor."
His friend said, "Don't do that. There's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor.
Simply put in a sample of your u**..., and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about and it will only cost you $10.00."
Pete figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a u**... sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00.
The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause, out popped a small slip of paper which read:
1. You have tennis elbow.
2. Soak your arm in warm water, avoid heavy labor.
3. It will be better in two weeks.......
That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this computer could be fooled.
He decided to give it a try. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, and u**... samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he m**... into the concoction.
He went back to the drug store, located the computer, poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00. The machine again made the usual noises, flashed its alights, and printed out the following analysis:
1. Your tap water is too hard.
2. Get a water softener.
3. Your dog has ringworm.
4. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
5. Your daughter is using c**....
6. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic.
7. Your wife is pregnant ....... twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
8. And if you don't stop m**..., your elbow will never get better.

My friend's nanotechnology company is doing really well.

In fact, it's doing so well that he's considering moving to smaller premises.

Two Aliens meet at a Bar in Deep Space

Two Aliens meet in a bar in deep space.
**First Alien:** On my way here I passed a beautiful blue world, 2/3 covered by water, The dominant race have discovered Satellite technology and Harnessed the power of nuclear weapons for defense.
**Second Alien:** Interesting, so it looks like we have an emerging intelligence in the Galaxy.
**First Alien:** That is what i thought but then I realized they pointed them at themselves.

It's really nice to see Churches embrace internet technology during this pandemic.

Our priest even bought my son his own Webcam.

LG created a new proprietary Bluetooth technology and protestors are now rallying against the the IEEE 802.15.1 Bluetooth standard

Manufacturers have quickly adopted to LG's new protocol, as they are afraid of not supporting the LGBT.

Did you hear about the man who spent his whole life trying to perfect cloning technology?

When it finally happened, he was beside himself.

My girlfriend complained that there should be more women in technology

So I put her in my new smart fridge

My grandfather told me that teenagers have become so lazy because of technology.

"They're not the only ones," I said, looking at his mobility scooter.

It may seem hard to believe now, but there was a time where the shovel was considered innovative technology.

Truly ground-breaking.

I wish d**... were more like technology

So I could brag about how small mine is

The chancellor of the university is complaining to the dean of physics...

"We need to cut costs!" He says. "All this complex technology you guys use! Why can't you be more like the Maths department? All they need is pencils, paper and wastebaskets!"
"Better still," says the dean of physics, "we could be like the philosophy department. All they need is the pencils and paper."

Pardon me but I live in France and am writing this by Google Translate. Thank my God for modern day technology. I am speaking French into my phone this moment and I get the English translation. Father, if you are reading this, I need to tell you about my true sexuality and why I have no girlfriend.

I like ten.

Whoever said technology will replace paper

..has obviously never tried to wipe their a**... with an iPad!

Scissors are a beautifully simplistic piece of technology.

Their invention was nothing but shear genius.

My grandpa told me, "You millennials are too dependent on technology...

.. so I plugged out his life support

A young grandson is talking to his grandfather.

"You know grandpa. Our generation is so much better then yours. We have video games, the internet, cell phones and so much cool technology. Your generation didn't have any of that!"
His grandfather replies;
"You're right, we didn't have any of those things around. That's why we had to invent them!"

Dune's House Atreides doesn't have any technology similar to voicemail

They don't need it, because there is no call they do not answer.

What's the difference between a car salesman and a technology salesman?

The car salesman knows he is lying.

My grandad said us teenagers rely to much on technology

So I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support

So I was visiting my elderly neighbor the other day and he told me something:

He said "Your generation is too dependant on technology."
I replied with "No your generation is." Then I unplugged his life support.

My grandparents think that I depend too much on technology.

They always talk about how much my generation depends on technology, and my grandfather always mentions it whenever I visit them, so then I replied, no, your generation depends too much on technology.
Then I unplugged his life support.

Canada got it all wrong!

So Canada got it all wrong. I mean, they had the opportunity to have American technology, British culture and French cuisine, but went with American culture, British cuisine and French technology!
Heard this about 20 years ago and it still makes me chuckle. Can't beat a good stereotype!

I hear North Korea is coming out with some new cloning technology...

I can't wait to meet Kim Jong-deux.

Bill Gates is hanging out with GM's Chairman...

Gates is in a taunting mood. "If automotive technology had kept pace with computer technology over the past few decades," boasts Gates, "you would now be driving a V-32 instead of a V-8, and it would have a top speed of 10,000 miles per hour. Or, you could have an economy car that weighs 30 pounds and gets a thousand miles to a gallon of gas.
In either case, the sticker price of a new car would be less than $50."
"Sure," says the GM chairman. "But, Bill, would you really want to drive a car that crashes four times a day?"

My grandfather once said that we're starting to rely way too much on technology; that it's important we remind ourselves to live without it. I honestly had to agree with him.

So, I unplugged his life support.

Technology will never replace human beings!

Lab-grown meat just isn't the same.

Two Aliens

2 aliens are talking in outer space, looking down on Earth.
"It seems the inhabitants of planet Earth have created nuclear technology and missiles" says one alien
"are they showing signs of intelligence?" asks the other
"I dont think so. They seem to be aiming at themselves"

I saw a man cutting a pizza with a smart phone

I know it's cutting edge technology but jeez

I hope Amazon's drone uses better technology than the military's.

Or kindergartens are going to get a lot of wrongly delivered packages

In the 1930s, the Italians developed an engine fuel technology that used household spices.

It's true. Mussolini made the trains run on thyme

I want to start a competitor website to Farmers Only...

I want to start a competitor website to Farmers Only. I wanted to call it eFarmony, but I realized that there's a way better name.
Attractor. Where technology and love combine. Meet someone on a tractor.

My Grandfather Says I should not be so Dependent upon technology...

...Yet he is the one hooked to life support.

Did you hear about that new state of the art jackhammer technology?


Who was the first person that was used technology?

Moses. He had two tablets that where connected to the cloud.

Two older male dolphins notice their hairlines are starting to recede.

Dolphins go bald, too. Tough for humans to notice, but dolphins notice... Anyway...
Understandably, they start getting a little down in the dumps recognizing the loss of their youth and feeling a profound sense of their own mortality.
In a moment of clarity, one dolphin says to his buddy, Hey compadre, we don't have to just *accept* this as our new normal, ya know? What with modern fashion and technology these days… we can *do* something about this!
So they went out and bought matching hairpieces. They were toupees in a pod.

A guy lost his fingers in an accident at work.

He rushed to the hospital and made his way to the emergency ward.
When he arrived the doctor came in and said, "Not to fret, Mr. Roberts, with the technology of today and advances in medicine, we can easily reattach your fingers and you'll be able to return to work in a couple of days. Now... where are the fingers?"
"I haven't got 'em." The man replied.
"Why not!?" Asked the doctor.
The man says "I couldn't pick 'em up!"

Nvidia teams up with Oceana nonprofit to track manta rays' travelling habits

They're applying their latest ray tracing technology.

My granddad always did say that we were too reliant on technology...

I replied, "No, you are grandpa." As I unplugged his life support

Which sound system technology do the Malfoys use?

Dobby Atmos

Seeking jokes for my grandmother who has dementia

My 90 year old grandma is in an assisted living home due to her dementia. She has been feeling isolated (no visits due to Covid).
I have decided to start calling her everyday with a "Joke Of The Day" but I need your help with grandma friendly jokes.
All submissions are greatly appreciated (and any tips for connecting remotely with someone who has dementia and is unable to work any technology). Thank you in advance!

My Grandfather told me "Your generation relies too much on technology."

Me: "No your generation relies too much on technology."
I then pulled out his life support.

Canada could have had the best of three worlds.

They could have had American technology, French cuisine, and British culture.
Instead they have French technology, British cuisine, and American culture.

Technology joke, Canada could have had the best of three worlds.

jokes about technology