Technology Jokes
139 technology jokes and hilarious technology puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about technology that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Get ready to laugh! This article contains a comprehensive collection of technology jokes designed just for work, students, speeches, seniors, and other tech fans. Have fun with jokes about wireless routers, tablets, and technicians.
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Funniest Technology Short Jokes
Short technology jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The technology humour may include short science jokes also.
- My grandpa said "your life revolves too much around technology. Then I said, "no, yours does." Then I unplugged his life support.
- I proudly showed my son, "Check this out! Bought a new shrub trimmer today!" He shrugged and replied, "That's great, dad." I continued... "It's cutting hedge technology!"
- I never knew how technologically advanced moses was... But today I learned he had the first tablet that could connect to the cloud.
- Modern technology has never matched the simplicity and grace of the traditional pen. In fact, you could say that there is still no e-quill.
- I used to work in restaurants before switching to information technology... ... The biggest difference is that the phrase "my server went down on me" is no longer a good thing.
- I'm beginning to worry about my obsession with technology. I told my doctor, "I think I'm addicted to Twitter."
He replied, "I don't follow you." - My Grandfather told me my generation is to reliant on technology. I told him, "no Grandpa, yours does." Then I unplugged his life support.
- There's a University called the National University of Science and Technology It's not called the National University of Technology and Science, because that would be NUTS.
- Whoever said technology would replace all paper obviously hasn't tried wiping their but with an IPad.
- New technology uses bacteria to power a laptop I guess you could say the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the dell
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Technology One Liners
Which technology one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with technology? I can suggest the ones about skills and industry.
- What do you call a robotic emo that likes dark humor. Cutting edge technology
- I bought a new set of Electric Garden Trimmers. They're cutting-hedge technology.
- Apple is releasing a new product called the iKnife. It's cutting edge technology.
- Knives are extremely advanced They are all cutting edge technology
- Next Battlefield map set in Nepal. It's made using groundbreaking technology.
- What do you call an innovation in scissors? Cutting-edge technology
- Sure, lightsabers are cutting edge technology but the Death Star is groundbreaking
- The Guillotine was supposed to be ahead of its time It had cutting edge technology
- The technology behind whiteboards is remarkable.
- What do you call a major advancement made by an emo? Cutting edge technology.
- Why don't we use swords anymore? Aren't they still cutting edge technology?
- Have you guys heard about the new jackhammer? It's ground breaking technology
- Are you fond of alternative sources for cooling technologies? I'm a huge fan.
- I own an innovative gardening supplies store. We sell cutting-hedge technology.
- Guys I designed my own knife It uses cutting edge technology
(Also blue cheese)
Technology Day Jokes
Here is a list of funny technology day jokes and even better technology day puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- People these days recoil at the idea of brain transplants becoming possible in the near future. Just wait until we develop the technology. They'll change their minds.
- It's a lot of rubbish when people talk about "how good" modern kids are these days with technology. My grandson is staying for the weekend, and he looks absolutely clueless with my VCR and VHS tapes.
- Never thought I'd see a day where technology is so advanced you can watch a movie at home with the same experience, But here VR
- Crikey, more sad news from the world of technology: Anti-virus developer John McAfee is appearing in court for manslaughter... They estimate the trial could last for 30 days.
- Technology is crazy these days We now have smartphones, wireless TVs, and tablets.
When I was a kid we had to blow everything. The Nintendo cartridge, the mouse with that ball inside, the priest. - Baby, if you were an iPhone 6, I would tap you all day!
- There was a computers and technology fair on the 10th of September... I arrived at the venue but they all looked at me confused. They told me the fair was 8 days ago. Ridiculous!
- I'm looking foward the day we can use technology to revive people! So Epstein will pay his debt to the society.
- Day after day we're getting more addicted to technology my uncle for example spends 6 our each day on a hemodialysis machine
- I got the best scissors the other day from Staples, it was... ...cutting-edge technology
Information Technology Jokes
Here is a list of funny information technology jokes and even better information technology puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Stephen King I still think it's weird his most popular book is about Information Technology.
- I'm really pleased to see a surge of interest in Information Technology. Some of the most popular videos on YouTube right now are about IT!
- I had just finished a book by Stephan King '' IT '' 1/10. There is not a word about information technology or information processing. . Would not recommend
- What is a geeks favorite horror novel? Information Technology by Stephen King
- Did you hear DMX started an information technology company? It has a pretty aggressive slogan... X gonna give IT to ya!
Cheerful Fun Technology Jokes to Brighten Your Day with Humor and Joy
What funny jokes about technology you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean theory jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make technology pranks.
President Obama visits the Pentagon...
President Obama visits the Pentagon to test out the latest in military technology.
A scientist says to him "We have two projects that we are very proud of. One is a powered exoskeleton and the other is an invisibility cloak. Which would you like to try first?"
Obama replies, "Uh, let me be clear."
I work for the world's largest nanotechnology company.
We're not very good.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I always assumed that China has extremely sophisticated spying technology that they use on their rivals.
Well, that balloon has burst.
A married couple is having a baby...
As she is going into labor, the doctor asks the man, "would you like to take part in this new technology that allows half the pain of the pregnancy to be put on to the father." The husband accepts, and they go on with the birth. Afterwards they ask him how he felt, he replied, "I didn't feel anything I don't understand what the big deal is about this. Later that day, they find the postman dead at their house.
Your generation relies too much on technology.
My Grandpa said, "Your generation relies too much on technology!" I replied, "No, your generation relies too much on technology!" Then I unplugged his life support.
Technology has ruined our kids
A group of young children were siting in a circle with their teacher. She was going around in turn asking them all questions.
"Davy, what noise does a cow make? "
"It goes moo. "
"Alice, what noise does a cat make? "
"It goes meow. "
"Jamie, what sound does a lamb make? "
"It goes baaa. "
"Jennifer, what sound does a mouse make? "
"Errr.., it goes.. click! "
A tourist was lost, wandering in the rainforest, when suddenly...
...he runs into some tribal warriors. In an attempt to scare them off, he decides to frighten them with his modern technology.
He whips out the bic lighter in his pocket and flicks it in.
"Wow!" Said one warrior to another. "I've never seen one of those light in the first try!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Computer diagnosis
One day, Pete complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts. I guess I should see a doctor."
His friend said, "Don't do that. There's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor.
Simply put in a sample of your u**..., and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about and it will only cost you $10.00."
Pete figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a u**... sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00.
The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause, out popped a small slip of paper which read:
1. You have tennis elbow.
2. Soak your arm in warm water, avoid heavy labor.
3. It will be better in two weeks.......
That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this computer could be fooled.
He decided to give it a try. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, and u**... samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he m**... into the concoction.
He went back to the drug store, located the computer, poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00. The machine again made the usual noises, flashed its alights, and printed out the following analysis:
1. Your tap water is too hard.
2. Get a water softener.
3. Your dog has ringworm.
4. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
5. Your daughter is using c**....
6. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic.
7. Your wife is pregnant ....... twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
8. And if you don't stop m**..., your elbow will never get better.
My friend's nanotechnology company is doing really well.
In fact, it's doing so well that he's considering moving to smaller premises.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two Aliens meet at a Bar in Deep Space
Two Aliens meet in a bar in deep space.
**First Alien:** On my way here I passed a beautiful blue world, 2/3 covered by water, The dominant race have discovered Satellite technology and Harnessed the power of nuclear weapons for defense.
**Second Alien:** Interesting, so it looks like we have an emerging intelligence in the Galaxy.
**First Alien:** That is what i thought but then I realized they pointed them at themselves.
It's really nice to see Churches embrace internet technology during this pandemic.
Our priest even bought my son his own Webcam.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
LG created a new proprietary Bluetooth technology and protestors are now rallying against the the IEEE 802.15.1 Bluetooth standard
Manufacturers have quickly adopted to LG's new protocol, as they are afraid of not supporting the LGBT.
Did you hear about the man who spent his whole life trying to perfect cloning technology?
When it finally happened, he was beside himself.
My girlfriend complained that there should be more women in technology
So I put her in my new smart fridge
My grandfather told me that teenagers have become so lazy because of technology.
"They're not the only ones," I said, looking at his mobility scooter.
It may seem hard to believe now, but there was a time where the shovel was considered innovative technology.
Truly ground-breaking.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I wish d**... were more like technology
So I could brag about how small mine is
Pardon me but I live in France and am writing this by Google Translate. Thank my God for modern day technology. I am speaking French into my phone this moment and I get the English translation. Father, if you are reading this, I need to tell you about my true sexuality and why I have no girlfriend.
I like ten.
Scissors are a beautifully simplistic piece of technology.
Their invention was nothing but shear genius.
A young grandson is talking to his grandfather.
"You know grandpa. Our generation is so much better then yours. We have video games, the internet, cell phones and so much cool technology. Your generation didn't have any of that!"
His grandfather replies;
"You're right, we didn't have any of those things around. That's why we had to invent them!"
Dune's House Atreides doesn't have any technology similar to voicemail
They don't need it, because there is no call they do not answer.
What's the difference between a car salesman and a technology salesman?
The car salesman knows he is lying.
Canada got it all wrong!
So Canada got it all wrong. I mean, they had the opportunity to have American technology, British culture and French cuisine, but went with American culture, British cuisine and French technology!
Heard this about 20 years ago and it still makes me chuckle. Can't beat a good stereotype!
I hear North Korea is coming out with some new cloning technology...
I can't wait to meet Kim Jong-deux.
Bill Gates is hanging out with GM's Chairman...
Gates is in a taunting mood. "If automotive technology had kept pace with computer technology over the past few decades," boasts Gates, "you would now be driving a V-32 instead of a V-8, and it would have a top speed of 10,000 miles per hour. Or, you could have an economy car that weighs 30 pounds and gets a thousand miles to a gallon of gas.
In either case, the sticker price of a new car would be less than $50."
"Sure," says the GM chairman. "But, Bill, would you really want to drive a car that crashes four times a day?"
Technology will never replace human beings!
Lab-grown meat just isn't the same.
I saw a man cutting a pizza with a smart phone
I know it's cutting edge technology but jeez
I hope Amazon's drone uses better technology than the military's.
Or kindergartens are going to get a lot of wrongly delivered packages
In the 1930s, the Italians developed an engine fuel technology that used household spices.
It's true. Mussolini made the trains run on thyme
I want to start a competitor website to Farmers Only...
I want to start a competitor website to Farmers Only. I wanted to call it eFarmony, but I realized that there's a way better name.
Attractor. Where technology and love combine. Meet someone on a tractor.
My Grandfather Says I should not be so Dependent upon technology...
...Yet he is the one hooked to life support.
Who was the first person that was used technology?
Moses. He had two tablets that where connected to the cloud.
Two older male dolphins notice their hairlines are starting to recede.
Dolphins go bald, too. Tough for humans to notice, but dolphins notice... Anyway...
Understandably, they start getting a little down in the dumps recognizing the loss of their youth and feeling a profound sense of their own mortality.
In a moment of clarity, one dolphin says to his buddy, Hey compadre, we don't have to just *accept* this as our new normal, ya know? What with modern fashion and technology these days… we can *do* something about this!
So they went out and bought matching hairpieces. They were toupees in a pod.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A guy lost his fingers in an accident at work.
He rushed to the hospital and made his way to the emergency ward.
When he arrived the doctor came in and said, "Not to fret, Mr. Roberts, with the technology of today and advances in medicine, we can easily reattach your fingers and you'll be able to return to work in a couple of days. Now... where are the fingers?"
"I haven't got 'em." The man replied.
"Why not!?" Asked the doctor.
The man says "I couldn't pick 'em up!"
Nvidia teams up with Oceana nonprofit to track manta rays' travelling habits
They're applying their latest ray tracing technology.
Which sound system technology do the Malfoys use?
Dobby Atmos
Seeking jokes for my grandmother who has dementia
My 90 year old grandma is in an assisted living home due to her dementia. She has been feeling isolated (no visits due to Covid).
I have decided to start calling her everyday with a "Joke Of The Day" but I need your help with grandma friendly jokes.
All submissions are greatly appreciated (and any tips for connecting remotely with someone who has dementia and is unable to work any technology). Thank you in advance!
Canada could have had the best of three worlds.
They could have had American technology, French cuisine, and British culture.
Instead they have French technology, British cuisine, and American culture.
In the past
Russian scientists dug 1000 mtr deep and found a copper wire.
They concluded:
1000 yrs back our ancestors were using copper cable technology ..
American scientists dug 2000 mtr deep and found optic fibre.
They concluded:
2000 yrs back our ancestors were using optic fibre technolgy ..
Indian scientist dug and found nothing. They concluded our ancestors were using Wireless Technology.!
What do you call a lawn mower that operates on its own?
Cutting-hedge technology
How is the United States and frozen food the same?
Kim Jong Un doesn't have the technology to nuke either of them.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The recent testing of anti-slip technology by toilet manufacturers did not go as planned
s**... went sideways
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Another Soviet joke
Nixon is visiting Brezhnev. Brezhnev shows off the newest Soviet technology: a payphone that can call h**.... So Nixon puts in a quarter and calls h**..., talks to the devil Then he returns to the US and is told that the US als has this technology but it costs $1000 per phone call. He gets angry and asks why does it only cost a quarter in the USSR.*sir, you see in the USSR it's a local call.*
How does grandma's chairlift work?
It has to do with nanatechnology.
Told this joke to my mom, and my dad overheard and laugh loudly, proud moment for me.
Even until now knives keep being...Cutting edge technology
What do you call a mechanical knife?
Cutting edge technology
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Playgrounds in the UK have been fitted with advanced p**... detection systems to help protect children
The company behind the technology has called it NonceSense™
Technology is dominated by two types of people:
Those who understand what they do not manage and those who manage what they do not understand.
Garden shears will never be outdated.
After all, it's cutting-hedge technology.
Did you hear about the robot who specializes in circumcisions
Real cutting-edge technology
In the future, if technology makes it possible to replace human limbs
And its common enough that you can buy them in stores, will midgets go to small arms dealers?
What do chefs research?
Cutting-edge technology
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Aliens visit, and their first question is: "what's changed in the last 3000 years?"
Aliens: "what's changed in the last 3000 years?"
Humans: "well, we were worshipping cats, drinking beer, and smoking w**...... and then we made it to developing technology that can destroy this entire planet, and pretty soon we'll have unlimited energy from that tech."
Aliens: "Impressive. Good thing you stopped worshipping cats, drinking beer, and smoking w**...."
Humans:
If you would like a list of all the ways technology has failed to improve our quality of life…
…please press 3.
The creation of the knife...
Was cutting edge technology at the time.
