Technology Jokes

funny jokes about technology and hilarious stories

BEST TECHNOLOGY JOKES

Technology jokes and pranks to have fun with friends and family. Top 10 jokes about Technology of all time along with the funniest technology gags ever told.

Difference between I.T and management
A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he's lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, Excuse me, can you tell me where I am? The man below says: Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field. You must work in Information Technology, says the balloonist. I do replies the man. How did you know? Well, says the balloonist, everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone. The man below replies, You must work in management. I do, replies the balloonist, But how'd you know? Well , says the man, you don't know where you are or where you're going, but you expect me to be able to help. You're in the same position you were before we met, but now it's my fault.

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President Obama visits the Pentagon...
President Obama visits the Pentagon to test out the latest in military technology.

A scientist says to him "We have two projects that we are very proud of. One is a powered exoskeleton and the other is an invisibility cloak. Which would you like to try first?"

Obama replies, "Uh, let me be clear."

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My grandpa said "your life revolves too much around technology.
Then I said, "no, yours does." Then I unplugged his life support.

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iPhone vs Samsung
iPhone user: The new iPhone is coming out

Samsung user: What's new?

iPhone user: We're getting facial recognition

Samsung user: Had that 4 year's ago next

iPhone user: We're getting wireless charging

Samsung user: Had that 2 year's ago next

iPhone user: We're getting water resistance

Samsung user: Had that 3 year's ago next

iPhone user: Nothing is better that an iPhone

Samsung user: Your screen is from Samsung you know, it's our technology

iPhone user: What am i paying for then?

Samsung user: A galaxy s6

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I was talking to my grandfather
When he said
"your generation relies too much on technology"
I then said
" no grandpa yours does"
Then I unplugged his life support.

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Modern technology has never matched the simplicity and grace of the traditional pen.
In fact, you could say that there is still no e-quill.

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My Grandpa said to me the other day, "Your generation relies too much on technology"
I replied, " no your generation relies too much on technology" then I unplugged his life support. Stupid asshole

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Bigger Boobs
A woman goes to the doctor and asks about options to augment her breasts.

She doesn't want surgery, so that rules out implants. The doctor suggests a new technology for her bra that uses the inflatable pump mechanism that was made popular with basketball sneakers. If she helps trial the product, she'll get them for free. She tries them out and gets fitted properly. It has little sacs in her bra that are inflated when she flaps her arms like a chicken, giving her a larger bust. She decides to go out to the bar to see if men will notice. She sees a handsome man across the room and starts walking up to him, seductively smiling, flapping her arms and says "Haven't I seen you here before?". "No, but I think we go to the same doctor" he answers, furiously opening and closing his legs.

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A married couple is having a baby...
As she is going into labor, the doctor asks the man, "would you like to take part in this new technology that allows half the pain of the pregnancy to be put on to the father." The husband accepts, and they go on with the birth. Afterwards they ask him how he felt, he replied, "I didn't feel anything I don't understand what the big deal is about this. Later that day, they find the postman dead at their house.

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So aliens flew by our planet recently and one asked the other...
Alien 1 How advanced is that civilization?

Alien 2 They have discovered nuclear technology.

Alien 1 Oh boy... That's pretty intelligent. We better keep our distance then from their missles.

Alien 2 Nah, they're not that smart yet. They have em pointed at themselves.

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LATEST TECHNOLOGY JOKES

Why didn't the liberal go to Ben Shapiro's lecture about technology?
Because he taught them Fax

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Eventhough technology is advancing, there is still a dilemma between wired or wireless.
There are many things in which wired is better.

Example: hanging yourself.

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Whoever said technology would replace paper....
has clearly never tried wiping their butt with an iPad.

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Day after day we're getting more addicted to technology
my uncle for example spends 6 our each day on a hemodialysis machine

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I have to say that scissors really impress me.
Absolutely cutting-edge technology.

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Did you hear the Russians have began funding and creating technology to compromise and undermine the USA's recent Central American initiatives?
They have created the ladder

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The Russians have began funding and creating technology to compromise and undermine the US's recent Central American initiatives
They have created the ladder

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I introduced science and technology to the frogs in my neighborhood in an attempt to uplift their species.
All of my neighbors are mad at me now because now the frogs only say rivet .

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My friends grandpa
My friends grandpa said he hated technology and wanted to be as far away from it as possible and he wants nothing to do with it, then my friend unplugged his life support

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Did you hear DMX started an information technology company? It has a pretty aggressive slogan...
X gonna give IT to ya!

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A man told me to invest in his impact shovel.
Apparently it's groundbreaking technology.

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Did you hear about that airline where they installed technology to shoot nerds out of the plane?
They call it the social rejector seat.

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I've just seen a robot ejaculate 100 meters
Technology has come so far

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A big internet company now renders donkeys with open-source technology
It's called "Google GL ass"

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There was a huge success made in camera technology.
Now there is a camera shutter that can catch a womans mouth close.

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I got the best scissors the other day from Staples, it was...
...cutting-edge technology

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Modern Technology
Guys and gals. Think about it. While walking on a treadmill you could play Super Smash Bros Ultimate. Don't you love modern technology.

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Technology really sucks.
And I'm grateful for that. Without my vacuum cleaning would be much more time consuming.

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It's amazing how technology seems to get better and betterโ€ฆ
โ€ฆall the while, people are getting dumber and dumber.

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Most people don't realize that LED ZEPPELIN was originally called...
...CRT ZEPPELIN, but changed their name to stay with advances in technology.

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TECHNOLOGY JOKES THAT ARE...

Technology jokes can be funny or dirty, insulting of disgusting. Most of them are suitable for kids and family.

BEST SHORT JOKES

Short jokes about technology, one liners, thoughts and captions that are funny and will make you laugh.

My grandpa said "your life revolves too much around technology.
Then I said, "no, yours does." Then I unplugged his life support.

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Modern technology has never matched the simplicity and grace of the traditional pen.
In fact, you could say that there is still no e-quill.

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My grandpa says my generation relies too much on technology.
I said "No grandpa. Yours does" and then I unplugged his life support.

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My Grandfather told me my generation is to reliant on technology.
I told him, "no Grandpa, yours does." Then I unplugged his life support.

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I'm beginning to worry about my obsession with technology.
I told my doctor, "I think I'm addicted to Twitter."
He replied, "I don't follow you."

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My Grandpa said, " Your generation relies too much on technology. I'm doing you a favor" as he tossed my phone into the toilet.
I laughed, and replied "No Grandpa, but yours does," as I unplugged his life support.

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Whoever said technology would replace all paper obviously hasn't tried wiping their but with an IPad.

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I bought a new set of Electric Garden Trimmers.
They're cutting-hedge technology.

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New technology uses bacteria to power a laptop
I guess you could say the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the dell

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Knives are extremely advanced
They are all cutting edge technology

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BEST RACIST JOKES

Some technology jokes that are also racist.

What do you do if you see your TV floating?
Say " DROP IT NIGGA".


What do you do if you see you refridgerator floating?
Run because that is one hell of a big black guy!

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What do u do when your sitting in the dark and your TV starts to float?
You turn on the lights and shoot the black guy stealing it.

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Black man says to siri: "Take me home"
Siri replies: "Taking you the quickest route to jail."

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Technology
Do not be racist; be like Mario. He's an Italian plumber, who was made by the Japanese, speaks English, looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew!

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I just saw a mexjcan guy walking down the street with a tv and I thought " wow, that looks just like mine."
But I knew mine was at home shining my shoes.

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BEST INSULTING JOKES

Insults about the lack of technology skills. Mostly jokes about Yo mama.

Yo momma so FAT, she can't save files bigger than 4 GB.

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Yo momma so stupid she sits on the TV, and watches the couch!

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Yo mama so stupid when I said I was going to the big apple she said bring me back one.

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Yo mama so fat when she fell on my iPod it became an iPad.

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Black man says to siri: "Take me home"
Siri replies: "Taking you the quickest route to jail."

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Your Momma is so fat, she takes her picture with Google Earth.

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Yo mama so stupid that when she turned on airplane mode...
She thought she could fly.

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Yo' Mama is so fat, when she walked past the TV, I missed a two-hour special of "Lost."

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Yo mama is so stupid, she was looking for bluetooth at the orthodontist.

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Yo' Mama is so stupid, she taped toilet paper to her TV set for free paper view.

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BEST STUPID JOKES

Jokes about people that are too stupid to use technology properly.

My Grandpa said to me the other day, "Your generation relies too much on technology"
I replied, " no your generation relies too much on technology" then I unplugged his life support. Stupid asshole

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Yesterday, I had a problem with my computer so I called Eric...
Yesterday, I had a problem with my computer so I called Eric, a friend of mine who is very skilled with technology.

He solved the problem quickly and easily. As he was leaving, I asked him what the problem was. He replied that the issue was an "ID ten T" error.

I didn't want to appear stupid, but I enquired "What is an 'ID ten T' error?"
He replied "Write it down, I think you'll figure it out."

I wrote it down: ID10T

I used to like Eric.

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Yo momma so stupid she sits on the TV, and watches the couch!

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Yo mama so stupid when I said I was going to the big apple she said bring me back one.

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Me using the Siri app on my iPhone:
Me: "

Siri, call my wife."
Siri: "Samantha McLaughlin is not in your contacts."
Me: "Samantha Gibbs is my wife."
Siri: "I've added Samantha Gibbs as your wife."
Me: "Call my wife."
Siri: "Which wife?"

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Yo mamma so stupid she puts a piece of paper on the TV and says, "I'm watching paper-view."

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Phones are getting thinner and smarter.
People, not so much.

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I use the internet to tell me what the weather's like.


How do you do that?
I carry my laptop outside and if it gets wet, I know it's raining!

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Q: How did the blonde kill her toy poodle?
A: Trying to put batteries in it.

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Q: Does your mum like shopping on the Internet?
A: No, the trolley keeps rolling off the top of the computer.

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WHAT ARE TECHNOLOGY JOKES ABOUT?

Technology is if great topic to laugh at. Some of the funniest jokes ever are about technology.

Are Technology jokes funny? For sure! There is no such thing as boring technology joke here. All jokes are funny in their own way. You can also read technology jokes images on Pinterest or watch videos with technology jokes on YouTube.

TOP IT JOKES THAT ARE TECHNOLOGY

Funny jokes and facts about tech life of IT geeks, programmers and computer users.

Baby, if you were an iPhone 6, I would tap you all day!

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Q: How do you fix a broken website?
A: With stick e-tape.

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Q: What has a key but no lock and has space but no room?
A: A computer?

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Before Instagram, I used to waste so much time sitting around having to imagine what my friends' food looked like.

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Yo momma so FAT, she can't save files bigger than 4 GB.

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Q: What will my computer printer warranty cover?
A: Your mouse pad.

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What was Forrest Gump's email password?
1forrest1

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According to Apple what is the leading cause of iphone 6 overheating?
Downloading images of Candice Swanepoel.

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A guy tells his friends:
The girl I was dating broke my heart, so I broke her Apple iPhone 5.

You all know who cried more

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Steve Jobs was an amazing man.
He will live in my hard drive forever!

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Q: How many Apple Iphone 6 early adopters does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 3001.

1 to do the work and 3000 to go online and bitch about the lack of obscure features!

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Q: What does an SEO and part-time chiropractor work on?
A: Your bad backlinks.

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What do you call a bent iPhone 6 plus?
A dead wringer.

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A failure in a device will never appear until it has passed final inspection.

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I put so much more effort into naming my first Wi-Fi than my first child.

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How can you tell which one of your friends has the new iPhone 6 plus?
Don't worry, they'll let you know.

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Why use Linux: No Windows, no Gates, no Bill to pay.

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On Unix, I always hide all of my personal files in the /bin/laden directory.

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Your Momma is so fat, she takes her picture with Google Earth.

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Chuck Norris can open PDF files with Microsoft Excel.

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It was reported this week that Google would soon launch its own cellphone as a challenge to the iPhone.
Also a challenge to the iPhone?
Making phone calls.

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Q: What is 001011010110101010100101010010101015 in binary?
A: A major glitch!

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If the box says:
"This software requires Windows XP or better"
Does that mean it'LL run on Linux?

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What do you call an iPhone that isn't kidding around?
Dead Siri-ous.

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How many Microsoft programmers does it take to start the November 5th bonfire?
Zero Microsoft declares darkness to be a new standard.

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Q: What do you call an accountant without a spreadsheet?
A: Lost.

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Warning!
User Error.
Kindly replace user and press a key to continue.

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"Have you got the address of the butter website?"
"Yes, but don't spread it around."

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I never thought that the Internet was very useful, but now I've changed my mind.


Let's hope your new one works better than the one you had before.

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Much like Apple products, I also, am only compatible with myself.

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Funny facts about Google users:
50% of people use Google well as a search engine.


The rest 50% of them use it to check if their internet is connected

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What do the latest Iphone 6 applications do?
Whiten teeth and perform laser eye surgery!

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A wife send her husband an sms on a cold winter evening: "

Windows frozen".
The husband send answer back: "Pour some warm water over them".
Some time later husband receives answer from his wife: "The computer is completely fucked now".

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Only Chuck Norris can dislike on Facebook.

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Q: What deodorant do SEO consultants wear?
A: Lynx

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E-mail returned to sender, insufficient voltage.

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Q: How many Microsoft engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None, they just declare darkness the standard!

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You know, I have Google+, Facebook, Twitter, Skype accounts.

..
Man, and do you have life?
OMG, No! Could you send me a link?

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I think Chuck Norris is fake cuz if he were real he'd come right now and smash my face into my keyboaraoebdbfjvjdblgoirugsvdkf

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There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.


When asked to define "Great" he said,
"I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!"
He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.

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The 21st century: Deleting history is more important than making it.

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The biggest SEO problem with trampoline websites is the high user bounce rate!

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Chuck Norris gave Black Ops a thumbs up and people at Microsoft a roundhouse kick in the face.

Suck it Microsoft.

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Chuck Norris can install a 64 bit OS on 32 bit machines.

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Programmers: See one warning, fixes warning.

Compiles...
See two errors, fixes errors. Compiles...
See 83 errors, pitches computer.

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90% of programmer errors come from data from other programmers.

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A girl started noticing a guy whoย stands in front of her home everydayย in the evening.


She noticed the guy always comesย mostly in the evenings andย weekends.
The guy never tried to talk to her norย showed any gesture, he justย moves here and there by looking intoย his mobile phone and occasionallyย stealing a stare at her.
It went on like that for a year and theย girl understood the guy was in loveย with her but was too shy to expressย his feelings.
So, sheย told her parents.
They too saw himย and liked him.
They discussed withย her grandparents about aย likely marriage.
But wanted her toย make the first move.
The next day, she went to him andย said, Hi. I'm Jada.
He said, Hi. I'm Smith.
Hearing this, the girl was very happyย as the names were matching like Willย Smith andย Jada Pinkett.
The girl went on and said, I reallyย appreciate your patience andย decency.
You have been standing inย front of my home everyday for about aย year now.
So, I understand that youย are in loveย with me but too shy to say it.
I think iย really like you too and would love it ifย we get married.
The guy smiled and said, Forgive meย sister! Actually your home's WIFIย doesn't have a password. So, i comeย here every eveningย after work to use free wi-fi to chatย with my girlfriend.

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If I wanted a warm fuzzy feeling, I'd antialias my graphics!

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I provide technical support for the computer software published by my company.


One day, over the phone, I was helping a customer install a product on a Macintosh.
The procedure required him to delete an old file.
On the Mac, there is an icon of a trash can that is used to collect items to be permanently deleted.
I told the customer to click on the old file and drag it to the trash.
Then I had him perform a few other steps. As a reminder, I said, "Don't forget to empty the trash."
Obediently he replied, "Yes, dear."

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A client calls to hotline of internet service provider:
"

I have a problem, internet stopped working two days ago, neither I nor my son nor anyone else can access it now..."
"I see, do you know what's the operating system on your PC?"
"Of course, I do - it's Facebook..."

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Daddy, how was I born?
Ah, very well, one day you need to find out anyway!
Mom and Dad got together in a chat room on MSN.
Dad set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber cafe.
We snuck into a secluded room, and then your mother downloaded from your dad's memory stick.
As soon as dad was ready for an upload, it was discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall.
Since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later the blessed virus appeared. And that's the story.

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Q: How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?
A: We can see no need for uninstallation and have therefore made no provision for light bulbs to be removed.

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What do you get if you cross a Kindle with an Apple iPhone 4S?
4Skin.

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Chuck Norris can access the DB from the UI.

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Chuck Norris' Internet connection is faster upstream than downstream because even data has more incentive to run from him than to him.

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Did you hear about the music app that is preloaded on every iPhone 6 plus?
GarageBend.

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Chuck Norris can access private methods.

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TOP COMPUTER JOKES THAT ARE TECHNOLOGY

Funny jokes about computers in technology and how people use it.

Yesterday, I had a problem with my computer so I called Eric...
Yesterday, I had a problem with my computer so I called Eric, a friend of mine who is very skilled with technology.

He solved the problem quickly and easily. As he was leaving, I asked him what the problem was. He replied that the issue was an "ID ten T" error.

I didn't want to appear stupid, but I enquired "What is an 'ID ten T' error?"
He replied "Write it down, I think you'll figure it out."

I wrote it down: ID10T

I used to like Eric.

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When you turn your computer on it says press any key to continue
My dad learning (and clearly frustrated) with technology says "WHERE THE FUCKS THE ANY KEY"

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Limits Of Technology
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.

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Chuck Norris can send an e-mail with a pencil.

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Q: What has a key but no lock and has space but no room?
A: A computer?

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There was a computers and technology fair on the 10th of September...
I arrived at the venue but they all looked at me confused. They told me the fair was 8 days ago. Ridiculous!

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Yo momma so FAT, she can't save files bigger than 4 GB.

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Q: What will my computer printer warranty cover?
A: Your mouse pad.

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Steve Jobs was an amazing man.
He will live in my hard drive forever!

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Q: Does your mum like shopping on the Internet?
A: No, the trolley keeps rolling off the top of the computer.

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What was Forrest Gump's email password?
1forrest1

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With just two toothpicks, a lightbulb, and his RoundHouse Kick, Chuck Norris can override the Pentagon's computer system.

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Chuck Norris can open PDF files with Microsoft Excel.

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There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer.
Chuck Norris is always in control.

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If the box says:
"This software requires Windows XP or better"
Does that mean it'LL run on Linux?

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"Why do you keep going back to that fishing website?"
"I can't help it, I'm hooked."

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Why use Linux: No Windows, no Gates, no Bill to pay.

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Yo mama's so technologically unsavvy, she leaves out pieces of cheese next to the computer!

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Yo mama is so stupid that when the computer said "

Press any key to continue", she couldn't find the 'Any' key.

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Yo mama so stupid that when you told her the mouse on her computer was broken she took it to the vet.

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On Unix, I always hide all of my personal files in the /bin/laden directory.

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What did the schools technology direction say to get a girlfriend
He said "Restart your computer"

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My daughter made a giant pair of shears from outdated computer parts in art class at school
She called it Cutting hedge technology

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Programmers: See one warning, fixes warning.

Compiles...
See two errors, fixes errors. Compiles...
See 83 errors, pitches computer.

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Chuck Norris sent a e-mail through the postal service.

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The biggest SEO problem with trampoline websites is the high user bounce rate!

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Q: How many Microsoft engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None, they just declare darkness the standard!

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Chuck Norris can send you a roundhouse kick by E-Mail.

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Chuck Norris can make music in Adobe Photoshop.

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A man works in the operations department of a large bank.


Employees call him from the field when they have problems with their computers.
One night a blonde woman from a branch bank called him and said, "I've got smoke coming from the back of my computer terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"

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Chuck Norris can access the DB from the UI.

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Funny facts about Google users:
50% of people use Google well as a search engine.


The rest 50% of them use it to check if their internet is connected

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There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.


When asked to define "Great" he said,
"I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!"
He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.

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The 21st century: Deleting history is more important than making it.

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Chuck Norris gave Black Ops a thumbs up and people at Microsoft a roundhouse kick in the face.

Suck it Microsoft.

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Chuck Norris doesn't use web standards as the web will conform to him.

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Chuck Norris can install a 64 bit OS on 32 bit machines.

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Doctor, doctor, should I surf the Internet on an empty stomach?
No, you should do it on a computer.

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If I wanted a warm fuzzy feeling, I'd antialias my graphics!

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The email server is unable to verify your server connection.


Your message has not been delivered.
Please restart your computer and try sending again.

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90% of programmer errors come from data from other programmers.

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Daddy, how was I born?
Ah, very well, one day you need to find out anyway!
Mom and Dad got together in a chat room on MSN.
Dad set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber cafe.
We snuck into a secluded room, and then your mother downloaded from your dad's memory stick.
As soon as dad was ready for an upload, it was discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall.
Since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later the blessed virus appeared. And that's the story.

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Chuck Norris's keyboard doesn't have a Ctrl key because nothing controls Chuck Norris.

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A wife send her husband an sms on a cold winter evening: "

Windows frozen".
The husband send answer back: "Pour some warm water over them".
Some time later husband receives answer from his wife: "The computer is completely fucked now".

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TOP PHONE JOKES THAT ARE TECHNOLOGY

Funny jokes about general phone usage, more specifically iPhone, Android, Smartphones.

My Grandpa said, " Your generation relies too much on technology. I'm doing you a favor" as he tossed my phone into the toilet.
I laughed, and replied "No Grandpa, but yours does," as I unplugged his life support.

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My Grandpa said, your generation relies way too much on technology and then unplugged my phone.
I said no, your generation relies too much on technology and unplugged his life support.

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I was hanging out with my grandfather.
I was on my phone when he knocks it out of my hands and said " You rely to much on technology " red in the face with rage I scream " No YOU rely to much on technology" as I pull the plug on his life support.

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Recent mobile phone technology has linked up with micro chip brain implant technology so that when your phone rings it can immediately connect without making a ringing sound.
It just won the Nobel peace prize.

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My iPhone fell from the 20th floor.
Good thing it was in airplane mode.

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Baby, if you were an iPhone 6, I would tap you all day!

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If you drop your phone in water, put it in a bowl of rice.


Overnight an Asian will come to your house, fix the phone, eat the rice and then run away.

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Me using the Siri app on my iPhone:
Me: "

Siri, call my wife."
Siri: "Samantha McLaughlin is not in your contacts."
Me: "Samantha Gibbs is my wife."
Siri: "I've added Samantha Gibbs as your wife."
Me: "Call my wife."
Siri: "Which wife?"

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A guy tells his friends:
The girl I was dating broke my heart, so I broke her Apple iPhone 5.

You all know who cried more

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Phones are getting thinner and smarter.
People, not so much.

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According to Apple what is the leading cause of iphone 6 overheating?
Downloading images of Candice Swanepoel.

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Q: How many Apple Iphone 6 early adopters does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 3001.

1 to do the work and 3000 to go online and bitch about the lack of obscure features!

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What do you call an iPhone that isn't kidding around?
Dead Siri-ous.

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It was reported this week that Google would soon launch its own cellphone as a challenge to the iPhone.
Also a challenge to the iPhone?
Making phone calls.

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How can you tell which one of your friends has the new iPhone 6 plus?
Don't worry, they'll let you know.

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Three men are sitting naked in the sauna.


Suddenly there is a beeping sound.
The first man presses his forearm and the beeping stops.
The others look at him questioningly.
"That's my pager," he says.
"I have a microchip under the skin of my arm."
A few minutes later a phone rings.
The second man lifts his palm to his ear.
When he finishes he explains, "That's my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand."
The third man, feeling decidedly low-tech, steps out of the sauna.
In a few minutes he returns with a piece of toilet paper extending from his rear.
The others raise their eyebrows.
"I'm getting a fax," he explains.

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What do the latest Iphone 6 applications do?
Whiten teeth and perform laser eye surgery!

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Chuck Norris does not have to answer the phone.


His beard picks up the incoming electrical impulses and translates them into audible sound.

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What do you get if you cross a Kindle with an Apple iPhone 4S?
4Skin.

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Jimmy is calling Sergey, who he met at an international conference.


Jimmy: "Hi, I've hear there is minus 54 degrees Celsius."
Sergey: "Nonsense, not even minus 15!"
Jimmy: "But on CNN, they've just shown a thermometer..."
Sergey: "Ohh, ok, maybe outside."

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When I was young I had my first induction day in IT we were making an animation on scratch me and my friend decided to go on our phones.
The teacher came over and asked, "what we were doing on our phones."
I had to think fast so I said "we were researching something" she said that was alright.
Still, to this day I wonder why she didn't notice that we had computers in front of us that had the school wifi.

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A blonde is on holiday and she wallks into an internet cafe to send an e-mail to her mum in America.


She doesn't know how to work the computers so she goes up to the guy on the desk and says: "Excuse me could you help me send an e-mail to my mum?"
The guy says "Yeh, but it will cost ya"
And the blonde says "Sure i'll do anything for my mum"
The guy says: "In that case follow me"
So she follows him into the back room and he pushes her down onto her knees, he unzips his trousers and pulls down his boxers and says: "Well go on then you said you'd do anything!"
So she picks up his dick, holds it to her mouth and says: "Hello.........mum are you there?"

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Did you hear about the music app that is preloaded on every iPhone 6 plus?
GarageBend.

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A girl started noticing a guy whoย stands in front of her home everydayย in the evening.


She noticed the guy always comesย mostly in the evenings andย weekends.
The guy never tried to talk to her norย showed any gesture, he justย moves here and there by looking intoย his mobile phone and occasionallyย stealing a stare at her.
It went on like that for a year and theย girl understood the guy was in loveย with her but was too shy to expressย his feelings.
So, sheย told her parents.
They too saw himย and liked him.
They discussed withย her grandparents about aย likely marriage.
But wanted her toย make the first move.
The next day, she went to him andย said, Hi. I'm Jada.
He said, Hi. I'm Smith.
Hearing this, the girl was very happyย as the names were matching like Willย Smith andย Jada Pinkett.
The girl went on and said, I reallyย appreciate your patience andย decency.
You have been standing inย front of my home everyday for about aย year now.
So, I understand that youย are in loveย with me but too shy to say it.
I think iย really like you too and would love it ifย we get married.
The guy smiled and said, Forgive meย sister! Actually your home's WIFIย doesn't have a password. So, i comeย here every eveningย after work to use free wi-fi to chatย with my girlfriend.

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At recent trade talks the American representative offered to sell sophisticated American telephone technology to the Russians.
American : "In the United States, anyone can pick up any phone and dial 9-1-1.
This will record the call and connect them with the police."
Russian : "In Russia we don't require that you dial anything."

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TOP FACEBOOK JOKES THAT ARE TECHNOLOGY

Funny jokes about the social network Facebook and its impact on technology.

Roses are red,
violets are blue.
Pornhub is Down,
your mums Facebook will do.

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Someone figured out my password.
Now I have to rename my dog.

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Anyone remember the good old days before Facebook, Instagram and Twitter?
When you had to take a photo of your dinner, then get the film developed, then go around to all your friends' houses to show them the picture of your dinner?
No?
Me neither.

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Whoever said technology will replace paper has obviously never tried to wipe their butt with an iPad.

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Only Chuck Norris can dislike on Facebook.

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You know, I have Google+, Facebook, Twitter, Skype accounts.

..
Man, and do you have life?
OMG, No! Could you send me a link?

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Facebook had a dislike button, then Chuck Norris joined.
Nobody dislikes Chuck Norris.

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A client calls to hotline of internet service provider:
"

I have a problem, internet stopped working two days ago, neither I nor my son nor anyone else can access it now..."
"I see, do you know what's the operating system on your PC?"
"Of course, I do - it's Facebook..."

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Chuck Norris can comment on Facebook posts, before you publish them.

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TOP INTERNET JOKES THAT ARE TECHNOLOGY

Funny jokes about internet technology and how it affects our everyday lives.

A young grandson is talking to his grandfather.
"You know grandpa. Our generation is so much better then yours. We have video games, the internet, cell phones and so much cool technology. Your generation didn't have any of that!"

His grandfather replies;
"You're right, we didn't have any of those things around. That's why we had to invent them!"

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The newspaper
So, I and my friend were in the cafeteria at lunch time, when...

Me: hey - pass me over that paper, will you, please?

My friend: What? Paper? Bah, you country duffer - here, use my iPhone 4S. It's the latest meanest and baddest piece of technology in your hands, and it's got 3G man - blazing fast internet, man! What more do you need?

----

That fly didn't have a single fucking clue what hit it!

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Q: How do you fix a broken website?
A: With stick e-tape.

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I'm watching that movie IT, and I'm not even clowning around...
IT has nothing to do with Internet Technology.

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Before Instagram, I used to waste so much time sitting around having to imagine what my friends' food looked like.

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Q: Where's Spiderman's home page?
A: On the world wide web.

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I use the internet to tell me what the weather's like.


How do you do that?
I carry my laptop outside and if it gets wet, I know it's raining!

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I put so much more effort into naming my first Wi-Fi than my first child.

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Q: Does your mum like shopping on the Internet?
A: No, the trolley keeps rolling off the top of the computer.

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Q: What's O. J. Simpson's Internet address?
A: Slash, slash, backslash, slash, slash, escape.

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Q: What does an SEO and part-time chiropractor work on?
A: Your bad backlinks.

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"Why do you keep going back to that fishing website?"
"I can't help it, I'm hooked."

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How do barmen surf the web?
On the Gin-ternet.

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"Have you got the address of the butter website?"
"Yes, but don't spread it around."

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Facebook had a dislike button, then Chuck Norris joined.
Nobody dislikes Chuck Norris.

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The biggest SEO problem with trampoline websites is the high user bounce rate!

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Chuck Norris doesn't use web standards as the web will conform to him.

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Doctor, doctor, should I surf the Internet on an empty stomach?
No, you should do it on a computer.

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A client calls to hotline of internet service provider:
"

I have a problem, internet stopped working two days ago, neither I nor my son nor anyone else can access it now..."
"I see, do you know what's the operating system on your PC?"
"Of course, I do - it's Facebook..."

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Q: What deodorant do SEO consultants wear?
A: Lynx

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I never thought that the Internet was very useful, but now I've changed my mind.


Let's hope your new one works better than the one you had before.

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A big internet company now renders donkeys with open-source technology
It's called "Google GL ass"

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Q: What do builders use to make websites?
A: Com.crete.

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Chuck Norris' Internet connection is faster upstream than downstream because even data has more incentive to run from him than to him.

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"I spent the whole evening knotsurfing!"
"Don't you mean netsurfing?"
"No, everyone was complaining because I tied the computer up for ages!"

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CONCLUSION

Best of 211 Geekiest Technology Jokes. Top technology jokes that can be about Apple, Microsoft, Facebook, Amazon, Google and their products like iPhone, FAT, App Store, Windows. Jokes for regular people and Chuck Norris using smartphone, console, internet or computer technologies.

You've read some of the best technology jokes of all time. Most of the stories are suitable for kids with good sense of humor, children or teens boys and girls, of course dads. You must supervise kids not to read pranks for adults. Note that some jokes are disgusting, filled with black humor so don't tell dirty technology gags to your kids. These jokes are updated with new ones in January 2020.

How do I make my girlfriend or boyfriend laughs? Well, this list of funny stories will make you cry in laughter. Some of these technology jokes are funny and some are hilarious.

Can I save Technology jokes? You can do this from the Joko Jokes iPhone app. It is available for free download from the Apple App Store. Like your favorite jokes so we can rank them by their likes count. Every thumb matters for Joko Jokes' rankings.

How to share a Technology joke? You are free to share every Technology joke found on JokoJokes.com, share it on Facebook, Twitter or by email and have fun with friends and family.

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