Technology Day Jokes
39 technology day jokes and hilarious technology day puns to laugh out loud. Read holiday jokes about technology day that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Technology Day Short Jokes
Short technology day jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The technology day humour may include short computer tech jokes also.
- People these days recoil at the idea of brain transplants becoming possible in the near future. Just wait until we develop the technology. They'll change their minds.
- It's a lot of rubbish when people talk about "how good" modern kids are these days with technology. My grandson is staying for the weekend, and he looks absolutely clueless with my VCR and VHS tapes.
- Never thought I'd see a day where technology is so advanced you can watch a movie at home with the same experience, But here VR
- Crikey, more sad news from the world of technology: Anti-virus developer John McAfee is appearing in court for manslaughter... They estimate the trial could last for 30 days.
- My grandfather said youth can't live without technology these days I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support
- Technology is crazy these days We now have smartphones, wireless TVs, and tablets.
When I was a kid we had to blow everything. The Nintendo cartridge, the mouse with that ball inside, the priest. - My grandfather told me my generation is too dependant on technology now-a-days. I told the doctor to pull his plug.
- There was a computers and technology fair on the 10th of September... I arrived at the venue but they all looked at me confused. They told me the fair was 8 days ago. Ridiculous!
- I'm looking foward the day we can use technology to revive people! So Epstein will pay his debt to the society.
- Day after day we're getting more addicted to technology my uncle for example spends 6 our each day on a hemodialysis machine
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Technology Day One Liners
Which technology day one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with technology day? I can suggest the ones about technology and tech.
- Baby, if you were an iPhone 6, I would tap you all day!
- I got the best scissors the other day from Staples, it was... ...cutting-edge technology
- PlayStation network was never hacked.
Chuck Norris just decided to play one day.
Technology Day Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about technology day you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean teacher day jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make technology day pranks.
Anyone remember the good old days before Facebook, Instagram and Twitter?
When you had to take a photo of your dinner, then get the film developed, then go around to all your friends' houses to show them the picture of your dinner?
No?
Me neither.
A client calls to hotline of internet service provider:
"
I have a problem, internet stopped working two days ago, neither I nor my son nor anyone else can access it now..."
"I see, do you know what's the operating system on your PC?"
"Of course, I do - it's Facebook..."
Here is an actual list of aircraft problems reported by pilots at the end of the day for the mechanics to fix before takeoff the next day followed by the notes the mechanics left for the pilots to read the next morning.
(P) Left inside main tire almost needs replacement
(S) Almost replaced left inside main tire
(P) Something loose in cockpit
(S) Something tightened in cockpit
(P) Evidence of leak on right main landing gear
(S) Evidence removed
(P) DME volume unbelievably loud
(S) Volume set to more believable level
(P) Number three engine missing
(S) Engine found on right wing after brief search
Daddy, how was I born?
Ah, very well, one day you need to find out anyway!
Mom and Dad got together in a chat room on MSN.
Dad set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber cafe.
We snuck into a secluded room, and then your mother downloaded from your dad's memory stick.
As soon as dad was ready for an upload, it was discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall.
Since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later the blessed virus appeared. And that's the story.
Back in my day, we didn't watch TV while we ate dinner.
We actually talked to each other.
It was awful!
Yo Momma is so fat, she can sit on a t3 cable and make the internet traffic slow right down to 1 bit per day.
A girl started noticing a guy who stands in front of her home everyday in the evening.
She noticed the guy always comes mostly in the evenings and weekends.
The guy never tried to talk to her nor showed any gesture, he just moves here and there by looking into his mobile phone and occasionally stealing a stare at her.
It went on like that for a year and the girl understood the guy was in love with her but was too shy to express his feelings.
So, she told her parents.
They too saw him and liked him.
They discussed with her grandparents about a likely marriage.
But wanted her to make the first move.
The next day, she went to him and said, Hi. I'm Jada.
He said, Hi. I'm Smith.
Hearing this, the girl was very happy as the names were matching like Will Smith and Jada Pinkett.
The girl went on and said, I really appreciate your patience and decency.
You have been standing in front of my home everyday for about a year now.
So, I understand that you are in love with me but too shy to say it.
I think i really like you too and would love it if we get married.
The guy smiled and said, Forgive me sister! Actually your home's WIFI doesn't have a password. So, i come here every evening after work to use free wi-fi to chat with my girlfriend.
A Sailor sent an e-mail to his wife, informing her that his ship would be returning from deployment a day early.
Arriving home, he found his wife with another man.
Upset, he stormed off and got a room at the Navy Lodge to decide what to do next.
His thoughts were interrupted by a call from his mother-in-law.
"Bill" she said, "I checked with my daughter and, as I expected, there is a perfectly good explanation for this whole episode."
"This I've got to hear," the Sailor said.
"It was an honest mistake," the mother-in -law said. " She never got your e-mail!"
When I was young I had my first induction day in IT we were making an animation on scratch me and my friend decided to go on our phones.
The teacher came over and asked, "what we were doing on our phones."
I had to think fast so I said "we were researching something" she said that was alright.
Still, to this day I wonder why she didn't notice that we had computers in front of us that had the school wifi.
I just love to do special things for my wife on Valentine's day.
Like open the door for her when she puts all the laundry in the washing machine, or plug and unplug the vacuum as she moves from room to room cleaning.
Guys, it's these little thoughtful things you can do to have a marriage such as mine.
I provide technical support for the computer software published by my company.
One day, over the phone, I was helping a customer install a product on a Macintosh.
The procedure required him to delete an old file.
On the Mac, there is an icon of a trash can that is used to collect items to be permanently deleted.
I told the customer to click on the old file and drag it to the trash.
Then I had him perform a few other steps. As a reminder, I said, "Don't forget to empty the trash."
Obediently he replied, "Yes, dear."
When our air conditioner broke down, we called for a serviceman to come and take a look at it.
It turned out to be a high school classmate of my husband's named Love.
He said next time we needed any repairs to ask for him.
The next year when we needed service again, we requested Mr. Love.
I took the day off from work and waited for him to arrive.
After he had worked on our air conditioner, he left his work order behind.
It had my name and said: "Wants Love in afternoon."
A married couple is having a baby...
As she is going into labor, the doctor asks the man, "would you like to take part in this new technology that allows half the pain of the pregnancy to be put on to the father." The husband accepts, and they go on with the birth. Afterwards they ask him how he felt, he replied, "I didn't feel anything I don't understand what the big deal is about this. Later that day, they find the postman dead at their house.
An American, an Englishman, a German and a Japanese go golfing on their annual meetup...
As they are playing, they hear a ringing sound. The American rushes to his golf bag and pulls out a mobile phone. He answers the phone and when the conversation is done, he explains to his friends, "My company needs to be in touch with me all the time, so I carry this fancy phone around with me." The other golfers are mildlyinterested.
As they continue playing, another ringing sound is heard. The Englishman puts his thumb to his ear and his last finger on his mouth and also has a conversation. When he is done he says "My company also needs to be in touch with me, so they installed a speaker on my thumb and a microphone on my last finger. The antenna is in my hat. The other golfers nod in approval at his technology.
Later in the day, yet another ringing sound is heard. The German tilts his head and starts talking. When he is done he says to the others, "To keep in contact with my company, there's a speaker in my ear canal and a microphone in my tooth. The antenna is in my spine." The other golfers are impressed at such marvels of technology.
As they are playing the last hole, a beeping sound is heard and the Japanese runs into the bushes. After he hasn't shown up for a while, the other golfers look for him and eventually find him squatting on the ground, pants down. "Oh, I'm sorry for intruding." Says one of them. "Oh, it's okay. I'm just waiting for a fax."
Computer diagnosis
One day, Pete complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts. I guess I should see a doctor."
His friend said, "Don't do that. There's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor.
Simply put in a sample of your u**..., and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about and it will only cost you $10.00."
Pete figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a u**... sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00.
The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause, out popped a small slip of paper which read:
1. You have tennis elbow.
2. Soak your arm in warm water, avoid heavy labor.
3. It will be better in two weeks.......
That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this computer could be fooled.
He decided to give it a try. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, and u**... samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he m**... into the concoction.
He went back to the drug store, located the computer, poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00. The machine again made the usual noises, flashed its alights, and printed out the following analysis:
1. Your tap water is too hard.
2. Get a water softener.
3. Your dog has ringworm.
4. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
5. Your daughter is using c**....
6. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic.
7. Your wife is pregnant ....... twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
8. And if you don't stop m**..., your elbow will never get better.
Email Joke
It's wise to remember how easily this wonderful technology can be misused, sometimes unintentionally, with serious consequences.
Consider the case of the Illinois man who left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quicke-mail. Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her e-mail address, he did his best to type it in from memory.
Unfortunately, he missed one letter, and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher's wife, whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor in a dead faint.
At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:
Dearest Wife,
Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
PS. Sure is hot down here.
A french, an english and a german general are talking about submarine technology
The French general tells them their submarines can stay underwater for three days.
The British says theirs can stay submerged for 180 days
Suddenly a submarine comes up. A man comes out and shouts: "SIEG HEIL. Wir brauchen Sprit!"
So I was visiting my elderly neighbor the other day and he told me something:
He said "Your generation is too dependant on technology."
I replied with "No your generation is." Then I unplugged his life support.
Seeking jokes for my grandmother who has dementia
My 90 year old grandma is in an assisted living home due to her dementia. She has been feeling isolated (no visits due to Covid).
I have decided to start calling her everyday with a "Joke Of The Day" but I need your help with grandma friendly jokes.
All submissions are greatly appreciated (and any tips for connecting remotely with someone who has dementia and is unable to work any technology). Thank you in advance!
Two older male dolphins notice their hairlines are starting to recede.
Dolphins go bald, too. Tough for humans to notice, but dolphins notice... Anyway...
Understandably, they start getting a little down in the dumps recognizing the loss of their youth and feeling a profound sense of their own mortality.
In a moment of clarity, one dolphin says to his buddy, Hey compadre, we don't have to just *accept* this as our new normal, ya know? What with modern fashion and technology these days… we can *do* something about this!
So they went out and bought matching hairpieces. They were toupees in a pod.
A guy lost his fingers in an accident at work.
He rushed to the hospital and made his way to the emergency ward.
When he arrived the doctor came in and said, "Not to fret, Mr. Roberts, with the technology of today and advances in medicine, we can easily reattach your fingers and you'll be able to return to work in a couple of days. Now... where are the fingers?"
"I haven't got 'em." The man replied.
"Why not!?" Asked the doctor.
The man says "I couldn't pick 'em up!"
Pardon me but I live in France and am writing this by Google Translate. Thank my God for modern day technology. I am speaking French into my phone this moment and I get the English translation. Father, if you are reading this, I need to tell you about my true sexuality and why I have no girlfriend.
I like ten.
Bill Gates is hanging out with GM's Chairman...
Gates is in a taunting mood. "If automotive technology had kept pace with computer technology over the past few decades," boasts Gates, "you would now be driving a V-32 instead of a V-8, and it would have a top speed of 10,000 miles per hour. Or, you could have an economy car that weighs 30 pounds and gets a thousand miles to a gallon of gas.
In either case, the sticker price of a new car would be less than $50."
"Sure," says the GM chairman. "But, Bill, would you really want to drive a car that crashes four times a day?"
