Technically Jokes
112 technically jokes and hilarious technically puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about technically that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Discover the wit and humor in life's technicality with this collection of jokes that are practically, inherently true. Laugh along to these technically correct jokes which are sure to bring a smile to your face.
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Funniest Technically Short Jokes
Short technically jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The technically humour may include short legally jokes also.
- The new Call of Duty just got released in Iraq They call it the Sims
Note: this technically a repost - got arrested for smuggling books into kentucky got off on a technicality, no one there could *prove* they were books
- My Kids Got p**... at Me for Cooking pancake this Morning Seems he was their favorite rabbit
- The asteroid event that ended dinosaurs was technically the highest ratio of killing birds to one stone
- Girl told me she had a dream that I made love to her I mean, technically, she didn't say "dream," she said "nightmare," but close enough.
- Did you hear about the guy who was arrested for mastubating in a courtroom? He got off on a technicality.
- I let my boss know I wouldn't be in because I had a case of Corona. Technically I wasn't lying because I did drink like 10 of the 12.
- I have the reflexes of a cat Before you comment, please remember, a dead cat is still technically a cat!
- When you think about it, technically all Australian submarines are down under. .............I'll let that sink in.
- Why did the restaurant staff deem the waiters absence due to depression to be a technical issue? Because their servers were down.
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Technically One Liners
Which technically one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with technically? I can suggest the ones about literally and technicality.
- Iron Man is technically a FEmale. I will downvote myself on the way out....
- Which mythical creature casts no reflection? All of them, technically.
- why don't robot chickens play basketball? too many technical fowls
- technically speaking being gay used to make me happy
- If you put on cowboy clothes, are you technically, ranch dressing?
- Did you hear about the law court fetishist? He got off on a technicality.
- The thing about good music is.. ...its technically sound.
- If the tomato is technically a fruit Does that mean ketchup is a smoothie?
- My girlfriend says I have commitment issues! Well, technically she's my wife.
- I had a classmate who slept with our professor for an "A" She technically still got a "D"
- Technics, Pioneer, Sony, Panasonic Sorry - I shouldn't make jokes about stereotypes
- Did you know Pinot Noir is actually spelled Pinot Noi? There's technically Noir.
- My girlfriend said I'm deluded. Well, technically she's my physiotherapist.
- A Lawyer walks into a bar Well, technically, he wasn't a lawyer yet...
- I beat cancer once! Technically, I beat up a guy born between June 22 and July 22.
Technically Correct Jokes
Here is a list of funny technically correct jokes and even better technically correct puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Technically, people in the 1980s were correct when they said we would have flying cars in the future. They're just currently not very safe and one-use only.
- Data Today, a CS professor asked us what data is.
Apparently, even though technically correct, the plural form of datum was not the answer he had in mind...
Technically The Truth Jokes
Here is a list of funny technically the truth jokes and even better technically the truth puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I drink regularly every two weeks... ...but every week too.
\[technically the truth, practically too\]\[OC\]
The Funniest Technically Jokes for a Bone-Shaking Laugh
What funny jokes about technically you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean basically jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make technically pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you know that a group of crows is called a m**...?
Well, technically it's only a m**... if there's probable caws.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So i bought my girlfriend some new s**... l**... for our anniversary. She said, 'I think this is more a gift for you than it is for me'
I said, "Well, if you want to get technical, it was a gift for my last girlfriend"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Good Polish Joke
A man walks into a bar and orders a glass of Polish v**.... As the bartender slides the drink to the patron, a man sitting next to him remarks, "That's a coincidence, I, too, am enjoying a Polish v**.... Since
I arrived from the old country, this is the only bar in which I have found it."
To which the first replies, "Old country, I'm from the old country. Let me buy you another!"
As the drinks are being poured, one of the men asks, "What part of the old country are you from?"
"Krakow," replies the other. "This is weird," says the first, "I, too, am from Krakow! Let's get another shot."
After the new round arrives, the first asks, "So, pal, what did you do back in Krakow?'
"Not much, really, I came here right out of high school. I graduated from l**... Walesa Technical Academy in '81."
"This is eerie," replies the other, "I'm Welesa Tech, '81. Let's get another shot." But the bartender says, "Slow down fellas, I gotta make a call."
The bartender calls his wife and tells her that he'll be late getting home. When she inquires as to the cause, he replies, "Oh, the friggin' Liszjewski twins are here again."
man in a hot air balloon
A man flying in a hot air balloon realizes he's lost. He lowers the balloon, spots a man down below and shouts, "Can you help me? I promised a friend I'd meet him half an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."
The man below says, "Yes, you're in a hot air balloon hovering 30 feet above this field, which is at 42 degrees N. latitude and 60 degrees W. longitude."
"You must be an engineer," says the balloonist.
"I am," replies the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct but your information is useless and the fact is I am still lost."
The man below says, "You must be a manager"
"I am," replies the balloonist, "but how did you know?"
"Well," says the man below, "you don't know where you are or where you're going. You made a promise which you have no idea how to keep and you expect me to solve your problem. And the fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met but now it's somehow my fault."
A helicopter was flying around above Seattle...
A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment.
Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, and held up a handwritten sign that said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters. People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER."
The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely. After they were on the ground, the copilot asked the pilot how he had done it.
"I knew it had to be the Microsoft Building, because they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the technical term for a female to male s**... change?
A strapadictome
I got arrested for reading a book in Alabama
I got off on a technicality though. Nobody could prove it was a book.
Did you hear about the guy who was arrested for indecent jurisprudence?
He got off on a technicality.
An architect, a lawyer, and a hunter were sitting at a bar.
The three men were having a debate about whose job was the oldest.
"Obviously it's my job," bragged the hunter. "Cavemen got their food by hunting, which makes my job older than civilization."
"Yes," the architect replied, "but if you read the Bible, it says God created the universe out of darkness and chaos. This technically makes God the architect of the universe."
The lawyer simply smirked. "True, but who do you think invented darkness and chaos?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
"Whoever smelt it, dealt it..."
"...so technically officer, this is YOUR m**..."
My niece told me this one, she technically messed up the joke, but I thought it was a hilarious and unexpected take on the original
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Orange."
"Orange who?"
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Orange."
"Orange who?"
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Orange."
"Orange who?"
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Banana."
"Banana who?"
"Banana you glad I didn't say orange?"
"What is inflation?" asked the CA's wife
"Initially you were 36-24-36, and now you're 48-40-48. So technically, you have more than you had earlier, but your value is less than earlier. THIS IS INFLATION"
Economics is not so difficult if we have the right examples.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you hear the one about the woman who climaxed upon learning that her conviction was overturned?
She got off on a technicality.
I've only had one car accident in the last month.
It was a hit and run, so technically it doesn't even count.
A family of hunter-gatherers sits down to dinner
The daughter, the youngest member of the family, complains, "There's a hair in my soup!"
"Well," replies her father, the hunter of the household, "technically, it's a rabbit."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
TIL that regardless of the technical definition...
your girlfriend will not appreciate being called a t**....
She's technically not wrong...
This actually happened last night with my girlfriend...
Me: So did you read 1984?
She: Yeah, I did...utopian society right?
Me:No it is the total opposite...do you know the opposite of utopian?
She: yeah..Ethiopia right?
and yes she was being totally serious.
Somebody told me I need to give my new Smart Car a name.
So I called it 'Octomom' because even though I can technically fit 8 people in there, it doesn't mean it's a good idea.
..so in a technical sense, they're only relatively bad.
My jokes are so bad, they sometimes appear to violate causality..
When she found out he worked in technical support, it really turned her on.
Then he turned her off. Then he turned her on again.
Sister Mary Francis won the contest but I was runner-up...
Technically, I'm second to nun.
My friend was arrested for his inappropriate attraction to details.
He got off on a technicality
In "Captain Sully", technically speaking, Tom Hanks did not fly a plane on to the Hudson River
That was falling with style
An Engineer was asked: "What is the Technical Difference between Welding and Wedding"
He replied: "Not much; both are joints, in a way.
In Welding there are sparks first and bonding forever, whereas in Wedding there is bonding first and sparks forever "
What would happen, if IT technic became a doctor?
Patient: I can't bend my knee.
Doctor: [*bends his knee*] Weird, works fine for me.
You can get a degree in Women's studies, but you can't get a degree in Men's studies.
Well, technically you can: history.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
When a deaf girl jacks you off
It's technically o**...
A blonde calls a 24/7 support call center
The blonde asks what hours they are open for. The technical support person says we are available 24 hours a day, seven days a week. The blonde stops for a moment a thinks. After a while she asks is that Eastern or Pacific time?
Joseph decides it's time to tell Jesus the truth....
Since Jesus is a teenager, Joseph thinks he can handle it. He tells Jesus that he's not really his father, in a technical sense.
Jesus is incredulous. He can't believe it. He asks who his father really is.
Joseph explains to Jesus that he's the son of god. Jesus can't even comprehend this. He can only manage to stammer out "No way"
Joseph looks at him and says "Yahweh..."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My court case was thrown out when the judge caught me m**...
I guess you can say I got off on a technicality
If you overthrow the government in exactly seventeen syllables...
... is it a Hai-coup?
Technically a bilingual pun, hope that's not violating rule 8...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'm going to start a business in India,
but have technical support staff in Boston. See how those b**... like it.
Working for IT is terrible.
You get into a very technical mindset. So much so that everytime you're on a computer you end up with that mindset, therefore saying things differently to the point of other people not understanding.
"Yes" ends up as "Y"
"No" ends up as "N"
"Disease" ends up as "iPhones"
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How many German engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one. They are really good at technical things, and have no sense of humor.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Since Eve was created from Adam's ribs...
That technically makes her Adam's side chick.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was sacked today for having s**... with a customer in the back of my bus.
Well I say bus... technically it's a hearse.
This Unicode technical specification is extremely dull reading
But it does have many interesting characters.
America is like a box of chocolates.
The white ones *technically* shouldn't be there, yet they're apparently everyone's favorite.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was caught m**... in the library over the small print of laws and local regulations....
.....I got off on a technicality
To anyone who works at McDonalds who is feeling bad about their life choices just remember...
You can technically put White House Catering staff on your CV now
I matched with a midget on Tinder. She said what's up. I said...
Well technically everything is, from your perspective!
the cardiologist
if a cardiologist robs a bank, and the police catch him, you are technically allowed to call it cardiac arrest
God gave a wish to a man
God gave a wish to a man.
The man asked, " I want the whole world to be connected by a road".
"Sorry son, it's technically impossible to engineer such a road. Ask something else" , he replied.
"Well then, I want Trump to think before he speaks something", he asked.
"You want that road 8 lanes wide or 10 lanes?
Let's discuss details", god replied.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Ironman is technically a woman
Because he's Fe-male
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I don't have any tattoos and don't I think I'll ever get one. But if I do, I might get a Kirkland Signature logo t**... stamp and I'd get it at Costco.
If I'm not completely satisfied, I'm sure their return policy would cover it. Which would technically be an even bigger tattoo saying RETURN POLICY.
How does a robot identify?
It doesnt its non-binary...well technically it is but...nevermind
Uzbekistan is double-landlocked, being surrounded by Kazickstan, Afganistan, Turkmenistan, Kygenistan, and Tajikistan, all landlocked! So technically, Uzbeckistan is...
STANlocked.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If you smoke w**... before an eating contest
You're technically on performance enhancing drugs
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The other day I was playing 2 truths and a lie.
Well, technically I was testifying in a m**... trial.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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I can't believe I got a life sentence for a little insider trading
Technically it's called o**... harvesting, but that's just semantics
So I was in my room and I saw a group of ten ants just running around frantically. I felt badly for them so I made a small house for them. out of a cardboard box.
This technically makes me their landlord and they are my.....
Tenants
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I only lasted two minutes with my girl last night
Technically it was 14 minutes because we did it d**....
A student is late for a zoom class...
"What took you so long?" the teacher asks.
"Technical difficulties" the student answers.
"I've heard that excuse a hundred times, let me guess, your wifi didn't work?"
"My clock"
What did God say to Saint Peter, when giving him control of the weather?
You have free rain!
(had this idea in the shower, so it's technically a shower thought?)
Did you know?
Did you know: A squirrel's brain actually increases in size during winter to remember where they buried their nuts.
...
The technical term for it is post-nut clarity
Two redditors walk into a bar.
"Well technically," the first argues, "it is a Pub since it serves food."
"Actually," the second says, "it is a Saloon since it is a part of a hotel."
Neither remembers the point of this post.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How do you get a h**... crypto technical analyst off your front porch?
Pay him for the pizza
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did the professor say when the Urology student did not know the technical name for pee?
u**... idiot.
I had a student named Miles in my 5th grade class who moved to JAPAN. Had to change his name to Kilometers.
Slight adjustment to an originally hilarious joke that was shunned on a technicality. #IwasOnlyJoking
Why can't a bicycle stand on its own?
The short answer is technically speaking it can stand on its own but it is very unstable. In order to keep something standing you need the center of gravity of the object to be within its points of contact with the ground. With only 2 points of contact with the ground, that space is a very small plane. You would need it perfectly positioned with no other forces acting on it. The tiniest disturbance could knock it over (and will).
Not because it was two tired
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Tomorrow I'm having skin grafted from my b**... onto my hand and I cope with humor. Make me laugh.
I'm going to have to ask my girlfriend if she wants to try b**... stuff just so we can hold hands.
The surgeon's going to hand my a**... to me.
If I high five someone did they technically s**... my a**...?
