Tech Jokes
141 tech jokes and hilarious tech puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about tech that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This tech jokes article is full of laughs! Get ready to enjoy some clever and geeky humor that poking fun at the tech world.
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Funniest Tech Short Jokes
Short tech jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The tech humour may include short science jokes also.
- Now that Facebook changed their name to Meta, FAANG is not longer a valid abbreviation of the biggest 5 tech companies. I'd like to suggest MANGA
- I made a Tech Joke Q: What did one device say to the other?
A: Are you syncing what I"m syncing? - I named my first dog "What". Only now did I just realize why the guy on tech support was getting so angry when he repeatedly asked "What is the name of your first pet?" and I kept answering "Yes."
- I'm furious! racist tech support just called me asian All I said was my drivers keep crashing
- That's the difference between tech support and a mass shooter? One is a troubleshooter, while the other is a troubled shooter.
- I've got a high tech toilet that's connected to the Wi-Fi and I just received a notification. There was an unexpected log in...
- A woman is calling her cell provider... Woman: I don't get my text messages
Tech support: Have you tried reading them again? - An unhinged neurosurgeon, a tech CEO, and a Southern baptist preacher walk into a bar... they all ask for your vote
- In tech support, we get asked questions that seem like common sense. Today I told a guy "CTRL-P"... ...but he didn't make it to the bathroom.
- Bomb diffusal tech on being asked how he deals with the stress of the job It's not stressful, I'm either right or it's suddenly not my problem.
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Tech One Liners
Which tech one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with tech? I can suggest the ones about toolbox and skills.
- Do you know how to make $20B in the Tech business? Start with $44B
- Where is a tech support's bathroom located? At their I Pee address!
- Machetes are extremely tech savvy They can hack anything.
- Did you hear about the baby that was born in a high tech. hospital? It came out cordless!
- My proctologist is so high tech... He said my exam would be digital.
- Why did the crematorium tech quit? Not enough urnings.
- What do you call Mark Zuckerberg getting therapy? Tech support
- What did they call Tech Support before gun powder? Trouble stabbing.
- Where did Montezuma go to college? Az Tech
- Who provides tech support for Israel? RabbIT
- Nasa techs put some humorous messages on the Space Shuttle Transporter attach points
- Hello, Tech Support? How do I set a laser printer to stun?
- Who was the most high-tech prophet? Moses. He used a tablet.
- How to DoS someone without any tech knowledge Steal all their shirts and shoes
- I told my son I was an early adopter. He asked, what tech?
Then it got weird.
Tech Support Jokes
Here is a list of funny tech support jokes and even better tech support puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I had to call tech support for my computer the other day. Tech Support: It seems as though your operating system was installed backwards.
Me: So? - I broke up with my tech-support girlfriend the other day She kept turning me off and on again
- Tech support said to turn it off and on again... ... should have mentioned it was a ventilator.
- I work in tech support and one of my co-workers drowned last week... we buried him in rice and he came back a day later!
- My kids are playing cowboys and Indians. One is pretending to ride a horse and shoot stuff, the other is providing tech support.
- A one-legged man walks into a tech-support store... ...and tells the man "I can't get past this 2-step authentication!"
- Why should Sean Connery not work in Tech support? Because instead of using red ink, he would be shredding
- I work in a call center and i'm a white dude and had an Indian customer who can't understand tech support... Oh the irony..
- I failed my Cultural Studies exam. The question was "Describe the role that India plays in the modern world". Apparently "Tech Support" is not the correct answer.
- Cults are like tech support... They tell you all your problems will be solved if you just delete your cash.
Computer Tech Jokes
Here is a list of funny computer tech jokes and even better computer tech puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I never wanted to believe the rumors about my company's tech department being abusive until I had to have them come fix an issue with my office computer. And then IT hit me.
- A joke for those who are not exactly tech savvy. Your computer and/or phone is now infected with a dangerous virus. Comment your personal info to receive instructions on how to remove.
- If my last name were Plate, I'd open a computer repair shop... and call it Plate Tech Tonics.
Tech Companies Jokes
Here is a list of funny tech companies jokes and even better tech companies puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- The YouTube shooter yesterday was a woman It's good to finally see a tech company embrace gender diversity.
- The world's largest info tech company has merged with a mobile accessories company, but refuses to share a name with them. And they're not even sorry about it. Nope, they're not Apple-Logitech.
- I just got fired from a tech company in Nassau, but I'm not too upset. It was all a bunch of .bs anyway.
- Why are tech companies afraid of 9? Because 9 8 7
Tech Savvy Jokes
Here is a list of funny tech savvy jokes and even better tech savvy puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why do tech-savvy Mexicans and Filipinos insist on using Firefox? They had a terrible experience with Internet *Explorers*.
- My mom is the most hip and tech savvy person I know! She needs every possible search toolbar conceivable so the internet can keep up with her!
Experience Instant Grins & Giggles with Playful Tech Jokes
What funny jokes about tech you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean theory jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make tech pranks.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Mother: "Sweetie, make a Christmas wish.
"
Girl: "I wish that Santa will send some clothes to those n**... girls in papa's computer."
All US prison wardens got together and brainstormed to put a stop to prison rapes.
They finally decided on a high tech solution- an anti-slip soap bar with an internal combustion engine equipped with state of the art artificial engine that would fly the soap back to the prisoner's hand even if it somehow falls down.
The Russian wardens too found a solution- shower gel.
technically speaking
being gay used to make me happy
Computer joke of the day!
>Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer: "Ok."
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"
Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote click'."
Technology has ruined our kids
A group of young children were siting in a circle with their teacher. She was going around in turn asking them all questions.
"Davy, what noise does a cow make? "
"It goes moo. "
"Alice, what noise does a cat make? "
"It goes meow. "
"Jamie, what sound does a lamb make? "
"It goes baaa. "
"Jennifer, what sound does a mouse make? "
"Errr.., it goes.. click! "
Tech Support
USER: I can't get on the Internet.
SUPPORT: Are you sure you used the right password?
USER: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
SUPPORT: Can you tell me what the password was?
USER: Five dots.
What technique does a prisoner use when coloring a picture?
Cell shading.
When I worked as Tech Support for an ISP I had a woman call outraged that we allowed "filth" on her computer...
After she calmed down slightly she explained that her 10 year old Granddaughter was sleeping over and they were having a "Spa Night" and did a web search on "Facials". . . .I was able to hit the mute button in time to avoid making matters far worse... True Story!
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the technical term for a female to male s**... change?
A strapadictome
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If you poke a Virginia Tech fan...
Are you doing the Hokie Pokey?
As technology gets lighter, thinner, and faster...
People get heavier, thicker, and slower.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
my old man had a joke from his days in the Air Force
Background: my dad was a biomed tech and did work for all branches throughout many areas.
One day, he's at a Navy submarine repair station. as him and his buddy are walking in, 2 Navy guys see em and say 'Air Force? what are you guys doing here? where are they going to put the landing s**...?'
the other Navy guys says, 'fuck that, where are they going to put the golf course?'
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So a tech support has a house call...
When he gets there a little old lady answers the door. She let's him in and tell him to sit on the couch while she gets her laptop. She steps away and the tech notices a bowl of peanuts on the coffee table and helps himself to some while he waits. When she comes back the tech says "I hope you don't mind I ate some of your nuts." The little lady says "Help yourself! I just s**... the chocolate off them anyways."
What do you name an African tech startup?
Double Click!
(Okay, Khoisan only.)
Why do technicolor pigs have great breath?
Because the have a lot of pigments.
Whoever said technology would replace all paper obviously hasn't tried wiping their but with an IPad.
The technology behind whiteboards is remarkable.
We have technology which allows people to see through walls.
We call them windows.
My German colleague had been trying to reach E.T. for a while now
but it actually turns out he just wanted tech support.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A blonde called tech support and was asked for her password
She replies, "Snoopy Snow White Cinderella d**... Pinocchio Harry Potter Ariel 8." The tech support guy ask, "Why such a long password?" "I was told it needs to have 7 characters and one number." She replies.
She's technically not wrong...
This actually happened last night with my girlfriend...
Me: So did you read 1984?
She: Yeah, I did...utopian society right?
Me:No it is the total opposite...do you know the opposite of utopian?
She: yeah..Ethiopia right?
and yes she was being totally serious.
..so in a technical sense, they're only relatively bad.
My jokes are so bad, they sometimes appear to violate causality..
Eh?
This was originally a tech support tale but I thought it was funny enough to turn into a joke.
>Speaking to a Canadian: "Hit Ctrl+A."
>Canadian: "Okay, I hit Ctrl, eh? And nothing happened, eh?"
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a computer smoking w**... ?
High tech.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Tech support in the military
Troubleshoot to kill.
Technology.( Based on true events)
My apple watch reminded me to take a minute to breathe right after my grandfather let one rip.
A Saudi prince has come forward saying that they should end the ban placed on women driving in the kingdom.
Interesting, just in time when all global tech giants are in the final stage of trials of their self-driving cars.
What do you want to be when you grow up?
A teacher is asking her students, what they want to be when they grow up.
Teacher: "How about you, Johnny... what do you want to be when you grow up"?
Johnny: "I wanna be the CEO of a multi-billion tech company... just like my father".
Teacher: "Woww.. that's wonderful. I didn't know your father was the CEO of a tech company".
Johnny: "He's not. But he also wants to be one".
The tech manager said that none of the programmers will be allowed to work from home.
Because she'd have no way of checking if they were following the dress code.
NOTE: This is actually what she said and not as a joke. All I'll say is it's a hospital in northern Ohio.
Why is Amazon a rainforest?
Because it has all the clouds.
Lame tech joke, sorry!!
Why do spiders usually get jobs in tech?
Most of them are already competent web developers.
How many tech support reps does it take to change a light bulb?
I'm sorry, this isn't the right department to give you the answer to that question. Let me transfer you to another sub, hold please....
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Why are all the personal assistants on smartphones female?
because they have to get women in tech somehow....
People complain about a lack of women in tech jobs
That's nonsense - what about Siri, Alexa and Cortana?
Technology...
Two guys... Hey do you think that someday technology will replace paper?... Well I think it will be quite hard to wipe with a tablet...
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How does a tech savvy cannibal count his calories?
In kill-o-bites.
New technology uses bacteria to power a laptop
I guess you could say the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the dell
When you think about it, technically all Australian submarines are down under.
.............I'll let that sink in.
Why did the tech CEO's wife leave him?
She wasn't satisfied when his performance dipped by 5-30%.
A technician is called to inspect q gas leak at an anesthesiologist's office
Upon arrival, he said: "Huh, this smells like chlorofor".
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Aliens visit, and their first question is: "what's changed in the last 3000 years?"
Aliens: "what's changed in the last 3000 years?"
Humans: "well, we were worshipping cats, drinking beer, and smoking w**...... and then we made it to developing technology that can destroy this entire planet, and pretty soon we'll have unlimited energy from that tech."
Aliens: "Impressive. Good thing you stopped worshipping cats, drinking beer, and smoking w**...."
Humans:
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Why did the apple Tech get fired?
He f**... and then to get rid of the smell he tried opening windows..
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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A tech developer walks into the doctor's office...
The doctor says, "I'm sorry I have to tell you this, but you have a micropenis."
The developer replies, "no no no, it's a **Microsoft**."
What do you call a tech geek you joins the wrong group of friends
A miss-clique
My sound tech walked in to hook up my microphones
We got to talking and I let him know I have a few friends who are also sound techs.
Really. Fascinating with feigned excitement.
Yeah. One of them is German.
Ok....
I have a Czech one, too. A Czech one, too.
Technologically slow dad
Asks his son
"Son, can you show me how to remove a picture I posted on Facebook?
Son, busy, replies
"Why do you ask me every time? Why don't you ask someone else to teach you?"
Dad replies
"Well, a man always learns from his mistakes!"
I really hate posting in forums when trying to troubleshoot a tech problem
person 1: Having the same problem please fix
person 2: same pls halp
person 3: same someone please find solution
person 4: doesnt work for me either
person 5: yeah please solve
There's a lot of people who enjoy Tech N9ne's music
But personally, I think he has Strange Music.
Why did the tech destruction channels get demonetized?
Because they didn't make PC-friendly content.
Indians Robbing a Bank
An Indian man tries to rob a bank. He walks out of the bank with no money. The getaway driver asks him Where's the money? And why do you have so many computers? The bank robber replies They thougth I was tech support.
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What's the first thing a Texas Tech graduate does after having s**...?
Washes out the pepper spray.
A man calls tech support.
Customer: I keep getting inappropriate pop-ups on my computer and don't want my wife to think that it's me.'
Advisor: 'I will remove them for you.'
Customer: 'How do I get them back when she is not in?'
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The official list of emojis for 2019 has been updated to include a drop of blood, which is meant to symbolize m**.... Although, if tech companies really wanted to accurately portray the suffering caused by periods...
...they should use an emoji of a husband quietly m**... in the bathroom.
Technology is crazy these days
We now have smartphones, wireless TVs, and tablets.
When I was a kid we had to blow everything. The Nintendo cartridge, the mouse with that ball inside, the priest.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How many Forbes writers does it take to make a good, solid tech article?
You're in for a n**... surprise -
No one knows yet. But we're keeping count.
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What do you call a person who falls for a tech support scam?
An Indian giver.
One from my metal tech teacher years ago - That weld is going to fold....
Like Superman on Laundry Day!
