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Tease Me Jokes

105 tease me jokes and hilarious tease me puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about tease me that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Tease Me Short Jokes

Short tease me jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The tease me humour may include short tease jokes also.

  1. I told my friends that I'm going for a date with a gorgeous girl, and they teased me that she's imaginary. Joke's on them, they are too.
  2. I got teased by my friends, because they thought my girlfriend was imaginary Jokes on them - they are too.
  3. My elderly relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying, "You'll be next!" They soon stopped though, once I started doing the same to them at funerals.
  4. What do you call a Greek philosopher who plays hard to get? A socra-tease
    Made this one up myself. I'll be here all week
  5. My wife told me to stop teasing our neighbor about his infertility after he threatened me with gun. But I'm not scared because he's shooting blanks.
  6. I tried to teach my son that it's normal to pee in your pants. But he still teases me about it.
  7. My elderly relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying, "You'll be next!" They stopped once I started doing the same to them at funerals.
  8. How to tease a girlfriend if she really wants it My girlfriend said she wanted me to tease her. I said, 'Alright, fatty.'
  9. The son told his mom: "I don't want to go to school today. The kids tease me, the teachers hate me." "But Michael, you must be in school. You're the principal!"
  10. What did one mushroom say to the other mushroom after being teased for losing a game of tennis? That's poor spore-tsmanship.

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Tease Me One Liners

Which tease me one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with tease me? I can suggest the ones about tickle me and make me blush.

  1. Why do you never tease a fat girl with lisp? Because she's thick and tired of it.
  2. What did the necrophiliac say to the opossum? You're such a tease.
  3. Why shouldn't you tease a fat girl with a lisp? She's probably thick and tired of it.
  4. Girlfriend My girlfriend said she wanted me to tease her. I said, 'Alright, fatty.'
  5. Who's a Weeb's favorite philosopher? Sakura Tease
  6. Spent all night being teased by Medusa. Now I'm hard as a rock.
  7. How did the lame person feel when he was teased by people? He couldn't stand it.
  8. Last night in bed, my girlfriend said 'Tease me.' I said 'Alright you fatty.'
  9. What do the British and strippers have in common? Tease
  10. What do you get when someone teases you with ice cream then takes it away? Blue Bells.
  11. You know what me, woman and an American Tail by Don Bluth have in common? We're a tease.
  12. Bully For You Q: Why did the bully go to beauty school?
    A: She wanted to tease hair
  13. If you're a tree that is sick of being teased for wearing armour... Yewknight!
  14. My Indian doctor teased me "You have die a bit. Tease!"
  15. "I called the sheriff!" Johnny said. "Depp, you tease!" Amber said.

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about tease me can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of tease me puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Tease Me Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about tease me you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean make me laugh jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make tease me prank.

A young boy comes home from school in a bad mood. His father asks him, "What's wrong, son?" The kid tells his dad that he's upset because another kid has been teasing him and calling him gay. The father says, "Punch him in the face next time he does that. I bet he'll stop." The kid replies, "Yeah, but he's so cute!"

A young boy comes home from school in a bad mood. His father asks him, "What's wrong, son?" The kid tells his dad that he's upset because another kid has been teasing him and calling him gay. The father says, "Punch him in the face next time he does that. I bet he'll stop." The kid replies, "Yeah, but he's so cute!"

There once was two people Lisa and Brian
They got married and had a child.
The only problem was that the child was only a head, he had no arms, legs or torso.
So all his life he was picked on and teased and he always wished he had a body.
So when he turned 21 his dad took him to a bar and let him have his first beer ever.
When he drank a whole bottle an arm popped out.
When he drank more bottles more body parts popped out.
After drinking many beers he finally had a whole body.
As they left the bar, he was very drunk and was hit by a bus and he died.
The moral of the story "Quit while you're a head."

Steve and his buddies were hanging out and planning an upcoming fishing trip.
Unfortunately, he had to tell them that he couldn't go this time because his wife wouldn't let him.
After a lot of teasing and name calling, Steve headed home frustrated.
The following week when Steve's buddies arrived at the lake to set up camp, they were shocked to see Steve.
He was already sitting at the campground with a cold beer, swag rolled out, fishing rod in hand, and a camp fire glowing.
"How did you talk your missus into letting you go Steve?"
"I didn't have to," Steve replied.
"Yesterday, when I left work, I went home and slumped down in my chair with a beer to drown my sorrows because I couldn't go fishing. Then the ol' lady Snuck up behind me and covered my eyes and said, 'Surprise'. When I peeled her hands back, she was standing there in a beautiful see through negligee and she said, 'Carry me into the bedroom, tie me to the bed and you can do whatever you want,' So, Here I am!"

Bertie comes sadly to his mommy and says, "Mom, the kids have been mean to me. They keep teasing me that my feet are too big. Please tell me honestly. Are my feet to big?"
"Of course not, Bertie. Now go put your shoes in the garage, the dinner is ready."

I always hated it when I would go to a wedding as a kid and some elderly family member would nudge me saying "You're next" with a teasing voice.

So when I went to f**..., I would nudge them and say "You're next"

Man & wife go to the Zoo.

In front of Gorilla cage
Man says :Excite him like u do to me!
Wife removes her top,Gorilla goes crazy.
Man:Tease him more,like u tease me
wife removed her jeans and gorilla goes wilder..
man opened d cage and pushed his wife in and says: NOW EXPLAIN TO HIM THAT U HAVE A HEADACHE AND U R NOT IN THE MOOD.

Phoning an ex

I phoned up a really gorgeous ex-girlfriend of mine the other day. We lost track of time, chatting about the wild nights we used to enjoy together.
I couldn't BELIEVE it when she asked if I'd like to meet up and maybe rekindle a little of that magic.
"Wow!" I said "I don't know if I could keep pace with you now! I'm a bit older and a bit balder than when you last saw me!"
She giggled and said she was sure I'd meet the challenge!
"Yeah," I said, Just so long as you don't mind a man with a waistband that's a few inches wider these days!"
She laughed and told me to stop being so silly! She teased me, saying she thought tubby bald men were cute!
"Anyway", she said, "I've put on a couple of pounds myself!"
So I hung up.

Lady teasing Gorilla at the Zoo...

A man and his wife are at the zoo. As they walk through the ape exhibit, they pass in front of a very large, hairy gorilla. Noticing her, the gorilla starts bouncing around his cage. He jumps up on the bars and, holding on with one hand, grunts and pounds his chest.
The husband, finding this funny, suggests that his wife tease the poor primate. The husband suggests she pucker her lips, wiggle her bottom at him, and play along. She does, and the gorilla gets even more excited, making extremely loud noises. Then, the husband suggests that she let one of the straps to her dress fall to show a bit more skin.
She does and the Gorilla nearly tears the bars down. Now, lift your dress up to your thighs and sort of fan it at him, says the husband. She does, driving the gorilla absolutely crazy to the point at which he starts doing flips.
Then, the husband grabs his wife, throws open the door to the cage, slings her in with the gorilla and slams the cage door shut.
Now tell HIM you have a headache.

Mr Snail was always being teased by the insects

for being so slow. Eventually, he just couldn't take it anymore and went to the nearest car dealership.
"I want the fastest sports car you have," he told the salesman, "and make sure to paint a huge 'S' on it, so everyone will know its Mr Snail's car!"
So now, every time Mr Snail drives past the insects, speeding like a maniac, all the insects look and say: "Wow, look at that 'S' car go!"

I don't want to get up, Papa.

An elderly gentleman knocks on his son's bedroom door. John, he says, wake up!
John answers, I don't want to get up, Papa.
The father shouts, Get up, you have to go to school.
John says, I don't want to go to school.
Why not? asks the father.
Three reasons, says John. First, because it's so dull; second, the kids tease me; and third, I hate school.
And the father says, Well, I am going to give you three reasons why you must go to school. First, because it is your duty; second, because you are forty-five years old, and third, because you are the headmaster.

A husband and wife celebrate their 30th anniversary

That night, the wife comes out of the bathroom n**... and starts playing with her n**....
"What did you think the first time you saw these 30 years ago?"
"I wanna to s**... them dry," he says.
She crawls onto the bed, "What did you think when you saw all this 30 years ago?"
"I wanted to screw your brains out, baby," he says with a smile.
She giggles, teasingly, "What are you thinking now?"
"I think I did a pretty good job at both."

What did Columbus actually see when he thought he saw mermaids?

Man-a-tease!

Cop: Is that a radar detector I see?

A cop pulled me over the other day for speeding.
After giving me the ticket, he teases me a bit about my out of state plate and the fact that I'm driving a car that's in my Dad's name.
He points to my dash and asks, "Is that a radar detector I see?"
Me: I don't know.
Cop: Is that a radar detector I see?
Me: I don't know it's my Dad's car. It's just always been there, but it does let me know every time I pass a Krispy Kreme.
He smirked, said, "Good one. Now slow down."

Can you tease, please and never squeeze Argentina?

Yes, but you Götze try a little tenderness.

A favorite joke of the Swiss (although any country combo will do)

A group of Austrians, embarrassed of the Swiss engineers, approach them with a request to build a bridge in the Sahara. "We want to build the most beautiful bridge, with perfect precision, workmanship, and quality to last a thousand years".
The Swiss Engineers, intrigued by the challenge, go to work. Six months later, they present the Austrians with their timeless bridge in all its glory!
"Hahaha, you dumb Swiss, there's no water in the Sahara, we made you build a useless bridge", teased the Austrians with great fervour. "Now tear it down"
Reply the Swiss engineers: "We would, but there's a group of Austrians fishing off it".

It s**... that waiters/waitresses only get the tip.

stop teasing them and give them the whole thing.

School Time

A father becomes aware that his son is oversleeping again and will be late for school. He raps repeatedly on his son's door.
"Wake up, wake up, you'll be late for school!" the father says loudly.
"I don't want to go to school," his son answers.
"Why not?" asks the father.
"Three reasons," responds the son. "First, because school is so boring; second, the kids tease me all the time; and third, I hate school!"
"I am going to give you 3 reasons why you MUST go to school," the father retorts. "First, because it is your duty; second, because you are forty-five years old; and third, because you are the headmaster!"

One day I teased my crush in class...

and told her, "s**... for you girls, you don't know what your last name will be ten years from now because it changes when you get married. I know my last name will be Smith my whole life." She replied, "Oh, but I do know. It will be Smith." She then turned pink and looked down. I gave her a wide smile.
Ten years later, she became my stepmother.
(This joke was translated from Chinese so sorry if parts don't make sense.)

Did you hear about the midget Scotsman who does avant garde s**... tease?

He's a little off kilter.

I teased Peyton Manning so he broke my phone.

Now it'll never go past one ring....

A kid has a pear-shaped head

The poor kid is feeling down because everyone at school teases him about his pear-shaped head. One day he can no longer take the teasing and says to the kids teasing him, "I can't help having a pear-shaped head, my mom ate a pear when she was pregnant with me."
"That's not how it works," one of the other kids said. "My mom ate a scratched disc when she was pregnant with me and nothing...nothing...nothing...nothing...nothing...nothing...nothing...happened."

Not a nice joke

After my elder brother's wedding, all old women in the family started teasing me by saying "You're next, You're next"
So, I started saying the same to them on funerals

What is the sexiest type of dolphin?

A striped tease dolphin.

What was the name of the most famous stripper in Ancient Greece?

Socra-tease

At a fabric store

At a fabric store, a pretty girl spots a nice material for a dress and asks the male clerk, "How much does it costs?"
Only one kiss per yard, replied the male clerk with a smirk.
That's fine, said the girl. I'll take ten yards. With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the clerk quickly measured out the cloth, wrapped it up, and then teasingly held it out.
The girl took the bag and pointed to the old man standing beside her, and smiled, Grandpa will pay the bill.

A girl told me she liked teasing

So we went into the bedroom and I told her that she had a weird, misshapen nose and she suddenly started crying.
Women and their mixed messages.

Two very hot girls try to tease an old man saying ..

" Hey grandpa, what would you do with hot and k**... girls like us ?"
He says :
" Well with only 2 nothing much, but if i had at least 5 i would open a w**.... "

Little Johnny was made fun of...

Little Johnny is always being teased by the other neighborhood boys for being s**.... Their favorite joke is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime Little Johnny always takes the nickel. One day, after Johnny takes the nickel, a neighbor takes him aside and says, "Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. Don't you know that a dime is worth more than a nickel, even though the nickel's bigger?" Johnny grins and says, "Well, if I took the dime, they'd stop doing it, and so far I've made $20!"

Life's been a bit weird lately.

A while back I showed up late to a dinner at my hot lesbian neighbours. They forgave me, and eventually we got chatting about my birthday. They asked me what I wanted for it. Answer was pretty obvious, I told them I wanted a watch. They giggled a bit, and eventually agreed.
I think they were just teasing me though, its been a week since my birthday and I still can't tell the time.
Seen two girls have s**... though.

How do you tease a Jewish midget?

Heil h**... so they can't high five you.

In high school I got sent to the principal for making fun of the paraplegic kid.

He asked if I would like to explain why I would do such a thing. I replied "It was just some armless teasing."

When I was kid, everytime we attend a wedding...

My grandparents always tease me that I will be next. They were not happy when I said the same thing when we saw a f**... procession.

Told my gf my f**... is being teased.

She gets up and leaves.

Until the last day of channukah menorahs are a tease to potheads and alcoholics.

They are only partially lit.

My mom: You know, I love you very much. I'll fight with anyone who messes with you.

Me: You must have a lot of internal conflict
Sister: *gasp*
Mom: ....
Note: mom teased teased us a lot when we were kids

A dwarf ant was complaining her mother about how her friends tease her for being short.

Her mom said, "Be tolerant."

I like my s**... life like I like my Jake Paul videos

A little tease in the beginning and 10 minutes of whole nothing.

My friend is really sensitive about his lack of height.

It's best not to tease him about though, or he'll punch you in the knee.

My s**... life is like a Jake Paul video.

A small tease and 10 mins of nothing.

s**... is like a Jake Paul video

It starts with a tease and then 10 minutes of nothing

I like to tease my friend Luke

One time I gave him 2 forks when he asked for a spoon to have his cereal with. He said "Can I have a spoon?" I said "Luke, use the forks".

Saw a 'Free Eve Teasing' board in India today

Turns out, it was 'Free Eye Testing'. Entered the correct place anyways.

I went on a date with a small carp once. Bit of a tease, kept acting shy.

She was a little koi.

I like my s**... to be like a Jake Paul video.

A quick tease at the start then absolutely nothing for 10 minutes

The Difference

During an anti-s**... harassment seminar at work, I asked, "What's the difference between s**... harassment and good-natured teasing?" A women shouted, "A million dollars." 

Two eggs boiling in a pan. One says, I've got a huge ........

Two eggs boiling in a pan. One says, I've got a huge crack. The other replies, Stop teasing me I'm not F*cking hard yet .

Why is it wrong to tease homosexual mongoliod people?

because they are already down and out

I told my son that wetting your pants is nothing to be ashamed of.

It didn't work; he's still teasing me for it.

Yesterday was a really big day for Monsters.

Godzilla King of Monsters, Monster Hunter World dlc and the new Sonic poster were all teased.

My wife asked me why I think she nags people about things that don't even bother her.

I told her was because she is a test-tease
She said no that's not it, I don't mean to test-tickle

I provoked my therapist but she didn't seem to approve.

I can't help it though, she just makes me feel a tease.

Eggs

​Two eggs boiling in a pan.
One says,"I've got a huge crack."
The other replies,"Stop teasing me, I'm not hard yet."​

My girlfriend: Oh baby I want you to tease me.

Me: Plays three seconds of the SpongeBob Sweet Victory clip.
My Girlfriend: Oooh you dirty tease!

A little boy called Harry hangs out at the local shop.

The shop owner doesnt know why, but the other boys tease him. They say hes slow and to prove it they always give him the choice between a 5$ note and a 1$ note. He always takes the 1$ note because he likes the look more. The owner asks him one day why he always takes the 1$ to which he simply responds: If i took the 5$ one they would stop doing it.

My old aunts would come and tease me at weddings

My old aunts would come and tease me at weddings, Well Shashank? Do you think you'll be next?
.
.

We've settled this quickly once I've started doing the same to them at funerals.

My wife accidentally ordered way too many chicken strips for lunch

She was quite upset about, as she hates wasting food. My daughter I were quite happy to have some tasty junk food for dinner though. I said to my wife "We could do this again, I don't mind eating KFC. I hope this wasn't just a s**... tease!"

A boy's wishes started coming true

There was a boy who was scolded by his teacher everyday and one day he said to himself, "I wish the s**... man gets run over" and sure enough the next day, news come of the death of his former teacher. The next day he was teased by his older sister so he said again, "I wish she breaks her arm" and sure enough her sister falls from the stairs and breaks her arm. One day his dad tells him off for something and he says, "I wish my dad would die." When he wakes up the next day, his dad was still there however his mum was nowhere to be seen. So he asked his dad where was his mother gone and his dad replies, "she has gone to attend the neighbor's f**...."

The story behind Carl's Jr and Hardee's

You know how Carl's Jr and Hardee's are essentially the same restaurant? That's because Carl and Hardee are brothers. But Hardee is an awful name for a person -- and his brother teased him relentlessly for it -- so they started out with only Carl's Jr chains. Eventually, Hardee wanted to open his own chain of restaurants, but Carl wasn't having it, so they set a court date.
In the court, the judge turned to Carl and said "please stand and state your name for the record".
"I'm Carl Harhar".
The judge turned to the other brother and said "And yours?"
"Hardee Harhar".

My wife teases me with ice cream bc she knows I'm lactose intolerant.

She really milks it too.

I have a bunch of elderly relatives that used to love to tease me at weddings by saying stuff like: "Oh, you'll be next, you'll be next!"

They soon stopped though, once I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these tease me jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.