Tears Jokes

160 tears jokes and hilarious tears puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about tears that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Tears Jokes - There's a strange kind of comedy in shedding tears for a joke, and this article analyzes the nature of weeping for a laugh. From tongue-in-cheek crocodile tears to a tear for fears kind of agony, this thought-provoking piece dives into the why and how of using crying to make someone laugh. Discover why and when the joke may be in tears and the anguish of being so distraught.

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Funniest Tears Short Jokes

Short tears jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The tears humour may include short tearing jokes also.

  1. As I handed my dad his 50th birthday card, he looked at me with tears in his eyes and said Y'know, one would have been enough.
  2. China has now banned any military personnel to use apple watches due to security reasons. One soldier says with tears in his eyes but but my daughter made it for me .
  3. Today, when my son asked, "Can I have a book mark?" I burst into tears... 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Dave...
  4. It was 11 years ago today that my pal Joey came running out of that room shouting it's a boy it's a boy with tears streaming down his face. We never went back to Thailand.
  5. "It's a boy", David shouted, "It's a BOY!" With tears rolling down his eyes, David came running out of the room. And never visited Bangkok again.
  6. Quick question... How much of this "No More tear" shampoo do I have to feed this baby to get it to stop crying?
  7. Watching my wedding video in reverse brought tears to my eyes I took off her wedding ring, returned her to her dad, and moonwalked my way out of the church.
  8. "It's a boy!" I shouted tears rolling down my face "I don't believe it. A boy!" Its at that moment I decided I'd never visit Thailand again.
  9. The Most Dad Joke of Puns! All the best Puns are written down on paper. That way, they're truly tear-able.
    Also it's my cake day!
  10. I asked my girlfriend if I could make her mine. "Yes! Oh, yes!" she shouted, eyes filled with tears. "Great!" I said. "Now take this pick and go find me some gold!"

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Tears One Liners

Which tears one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with tears? I can suggest the ones about crying and cries.

  1. What happens when you eat beans with onions? Tear gas!
    (Written by my 9 yr old son)
  2. When I get home im going to tear my wife's bra right off The straps are killing me
  3. LPT for College: Laminate your notes so your tears roll off of them.
  4. How many tears were shed today? A Brazillion.
  5. I had tears in my eyes when my dad chopped up Onions I loved Onions. He was a great dog.
  6. I put blood, sweat, and tears into my work, said the disgusting bartender.
  7. What do you get when you mix beans and onions? Tear gas
  8. What do you call frozen tears? Eyecicles
  9. what can u make with onions and baked beans? tear gas
  10. A man walks into a bar... And slowly alcoholism tears apart his family
  11. How do you make tear-free soap? Don't use child labor.
  12. What do you call a single tear on your face the day of your wedding? Eye dew.
  13. What do you call someone who rips up books? A tear-orist.
  14. What do you get if you eat onions and refried beans? Tear Gas
  15. What do you call a sailor who'll never let you see him cry? ... A private-tear.

Cry Tears Jokes

Here is a list of funny cry tears jokes and even better cry tears puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I was mugged at a bus station, and burst in to tears. A police officer came up to me and said 'I'm fining you £60'.
    I said, 'oh, for crying out loud'
    The police officer said 'yes'
  • I saw the saddest movie ever. A man ended up jacking off to his dead wife's photo and crying. It was absolutely tear jerking.
  • My girlfriend started crying because I called her fake So I wiped away her tears and accidentally her eyebrows too
  • I gifted trampoline to my son on his 7th birthday I think he was so happy he bust into tears. He cried so hard that he fell out of his wheelchair
  • A pirate comes across a skull just sitting there randomly in the sand crying. The pirate asks "Why are you crying?" The skull replies through its tears " I'm all alone, I have nobody!"
  • How do you make a protester cry? Tear gas
  • I've squirted an entire bottle of No More Tears in my baby's face... ...and she's still crying. Parenting is hard
  • I was washing the dishes when a drop of the dishwashing liquid I was using somehow got to my eye. It stung so bad I started crying. I guess this is what they call tears of Joy™.
  • Did you hear about the lady who was so crossed eyed that when she cries her tears go down her back? She got back-tear-ia.
  • After an hour long fight, my wife burst into tears when I grabbed her fancy new underwear from the dresser and threw it in the coffee grinder. There's no use crying over milled silk.

Wipe Tears Jokes

Here is a list of funny wipe tears jokes and even better wipe tears puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • They told him: your girlfriend is cheating on you.. He wiped away his tears & asked : Which one ?
  • 5yr old: Daddy I'm mad at you! Me : Why?
    5: You know why!
    Wife: [wipes tear] They grow up so fast.
  • Dad here: Why did the psychic get fired? Because she didn't see it coming.
    Hahahahahahahahahaha *pause* hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
    *wipes tears from eyes*
    Where'd everybody go?
  • Nobody is above the LaHAHAHAHAHAhahahaha! Oh god. I almost got through it without laughing. *wipes tear*
  • The Judge and the p**... The judge asked the p**..., "So, when did you realize you were r**...?"
    The p**... replied, wiping away her tears, "When the check bounced
  • Judge asks p**... when she realized she had been r**.... She wiped away the tears and said "when the check bounced".
Tears joke, Judge asks p**... when she realized she had been r**....

Tears Joy Jokes

Here is a list of funny tears joy jokes and even better tears joy puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My heart sank when i received a text from my gf " I can't take this anymore,let's break up " You can imagine the tears of joy I had when i received a follow up message
    "Sorry ,wrong number"
  • "Honey, I'm pregnant" "Hello Pregnant", he whispers, tears of joy in his eyes. "I'm Dad"
  • Asking for my wife's hand brought tears of joy to my mother-in-law. I should have thought about it.
  • My Father told me to marry this girl named Joy so that even if i disappoint her and end up making her cry, it would still be... tears of joy
  • What Is Tears Of Joy? Tears Of Joy Is When A Car Hits You And You
    See Bill Gate Coming Out From The Car.😃😃😃😂
  • My girlfriend starting crying tears of joy when I asked if she'd like to be in a f**....... All I asked was "Will, you, Mary, me?"

Tears Heaven Jokes

Here is a list of funny tears heaven jokes and even better tears heaven puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What did Eric Clapton do after he wrote Tears in Heaven? Threw his baby out the window.
Tears joke, What did Eric Clapton do after he wrote Tears in Heaven?

Comical Tears Jokes to Spread Joy and Laughter

What funny jokes about tears you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean weeping jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make tears pranks.

A boy and his dad are talking.

"Hey Dad."
"Yes son?"
"Did you ever get shot in the army?"
He looks at his son in silence. Tears start to form in the Dad's eyes, and he quietly replies;
"No, but I was shot in the leggy."

An old man is on his deathbed...

and his wife is sitting next to him in a chair, holding his hand. He seems to be fading fast, and with a great effort he grasps her hand. "My love, I must confess something..I've cheated on you with dozens...maybe thousands of women..."
She looks at him tearfully, wipes the tears from her eyes and says "shhh now my love..i hush and let the poison work"

An old man in tears

A young man taking a walk in a park comes across an elderly man sitting on a bench in tears. Touched by the poor man's sorrow, he kindly asks, "Please sir, why are you crying?"
The old man replies, "I have a beautiful 21 year old wife who makes love to me every night!"
Confused, the young man replies, "I still don't understand why you're crying."
The elderly man sobs, "I forgot where I live."

A woman stopped me in the street today and told me a joke.

After hearing it, I thought it had all the ingredients of a great joke: child a**...; incestual r**..., tears, poverty and suffering; but I didn't understand the punchline.
Something about $10 a month...

Rorschach's Joke

I heard a joke once: Man goes to doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life is harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world. Doctor says, "Treatment is simple. The great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go see him. That should pick you up." Man bursts into tears. Says, "But doctor... I am Pagliacci."

A farmer just burst into tears because nobody likes eating his apples anymore...

I told him to grow a pear.

For weeks, Tommy was telling his kindergarten teacher about the baby sister who was going to be coming to his house soon.

One day at home, Tommy's mother let him feel the baby k**.... Tommy didn't say anything, and he stopped talking about the baby at school. Finally the teacher sat Tommy down and said, "Whatever happened to your new baby sister?"
Tommy burst into tears and confessed, "I think my mummy ate her!"

It says......

Deep in the chambers of the monastery Father Seamus is transcribing scripture. As Father Ignatius walks by he sees Father Seamus sobbing uncontrollably. "Father Seamus! What ever could be troubling you so!!??!!" said Father Ignatius.
Father Seamus, wiping his tears, says: "It says CELEBRATE."

An Elderly Man Goes to the Doctor's.

Help, Doc. I just got married to this 21 year old woman.
She is hot and all she wants to do is have s**... all day long.
So what's the problem?
Breaking down in tears....
I can't remember where I live.

A husband comes home to find his beautiful blonde wife sitting at the kitchen table in tears.

"What's wrong, dear?" He asks
Through her tears she says, "well, I've been trying to put this puzzle together all day and I just can't seem to figure it out! It's supposed to be a tiger."
He looks at her and in his most sympathetic voice says, "sweetheart, put the frosted flakes back in the box."
Ba dum-tiss

Stand by your man

The woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "My dearest, you have been with me all through the bad times. When I was laid off, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. You know what?"
"What dear?," she gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.
"I think you're bad luck."

A wife texts her husband

A wife, being the romantic sort, sent her husband a text: "If you are
sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If
you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking send me a sip. If you
are crying, send me your tears. I love you!"
The husband, typically non-romantic, replied: "I am on the toilet. Please advise."

So this wealthy lawyer parks his Rolls-Royce on a busy street

and as he opens his door, a truck come screaming by and tears off the car door. The guy jumps out and yells, "My car! My beautiful car!" and a man standing nearby says, "you pig, you're so worried about your expensive car that you didn't even notice that your arm's missing too!" Hearing that, the lawyer yells, "Oh God, my Rolex!"

"Its a boy", he shouted. "It's a BOY! I still can't believe it!

Tears rolling down his eyes, swearing never to come back to Thailand again.

After 5 years of therapy, my therapist finally said something that brought tears to my eyes.

'No hablo ingles'

A father asked his 10-year old son if he knew about the birds and the bees...

"I don't want to know," the child said, bursting into tears. "Promise me you won't tell me."
Confused, the father asked what was wrong.
The boy sobbed, "When I was six, I got the 'There's no Easter Bunny' speech. At seven, I got the 'There's no Tooth Fairy' speech. When I was eight, you hit me with the 'There's no Santa' speech.
If you're going to tell me that grown-ups don't really get laid, I'll have nothing left to live for."

My girlfriend's sister invited me to have s**... with her today...

My girlfriend's sister invited me to have s**... with her today while we were waiting for my girlfriend to get home. I didn't say anything and started to walk to my car. As I opened the door, my girlfriend came out from the kitchen and hugged me with tears in her eyes as she told me that it was a test of loyalty and I had passed!
Moral of the story: keep your condoms in your car

The Unluckiest Guy in the world

A huge guy is drinking in a bar with his friend, when suddenly he sees a dude who looks really depressed. He looks at his friend and goes, 'You see the guy that seems to be having a really bad day? Well I'm gonna make his day even worse'. So he walks up to the dude and drinks the glass that was in front of him. The dude suddenly breaks into tears and starts crying hysterically. So the guy is surprised and tries to calm him down: ' Dude relax! I was just messing with you. I'll buy another drink'. The dude wipes off his tears and goes, 'I just had the worst day of my life. My car broke down on my way to work so I had to take a cab. I forgot my briefcase in the cab and cost my company millions of dollars. They fired me and I owe them their millions. When I got back from work, I found my wife in bed with my best friend. After all that I decided to end my life with a glass of poison, and you didn't even let me do that!'

Son told his dad he loves the girl next door

"Son, you can't love her. She's my secret daughter with another wife."
"But dad, what about the other girl next next door?"
"Sorry, son. She's also my secret daughter with the other wife."
Son walks away with tears in his eyes after knowing the truth. Mom heard it all and approaches to him
"Honey, you can love the girls next door if you want to. You're not your dad's son anyway."

so many poor jokes, where to begin?

A brunette, a blonde and a redhead, all heavily pregnant, are waiting for a scan; the brunette says 'I was on top, so I'm going to have a bay', the redhead responds with 'I was on the bottom, so I'm going to have a girl', at which point the blonde bursts into tears. The other two manage to calm her down, and ask what is wrong? 'I'm going to have puppies!'

Greatest situational joke I've ever told...

A girl I know was talking about how her white mum was an Indian chef, which my other friend couldn't quite grasp and said "How can your mum be an Indian chef if she's not Indian?"
I replied "You can be a pizza chef and not be a pizza".
Had a couple people in tears saying that so I thought I'd share it, might have been a 'you-had-to-be-there' moment.

My wife is kind of lazy

We were watching an item on the news yesterday, about a wheelchair-bound quadriplegic who could play the (specially adapted) flute beautifully.
"Oh my god." She said, tears welling in her eyes, "I'd love to be able to do that."
"What, play the flute?" I asked.
"No, sit down all day."

Three little old ladies are sitting at a bus stop...

...when suddenly a man in a trench coat runs up to them and tears open the coat, flashing them his manly parts.
Two of the little old ladies immediately have a s**....
The third couldn't quite reach.

A Londoner is walking his dog...

...When he passes a policeman. As he walks past, the dog leaps up and bites the copper's hat off, and tears it to pieces.
"Oi!" the policeman says, "You gonna let your dog get away with that?!"
"Ah, he's just a bleedin' dog! Leave it out!" the Londoner replies.
"I don't like your attitude!" the policeman says.
"It wasn't my 'at he chewed, it was YOUR 'at he chewed!"

Led Zeppelin obsession

My girlfriend came in with tears in her eyes, saying she prayed and prayed that I would end my obsession with Led Zeppelin.
I told her, "Crying won't help ya. Praying won't do you no good."

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead, all pregnant, are in the waiting room for the OB/GYN....

The brunette says "I was on top, so I'm gonna have a boy."
The redhead says "I was on the bottom, so I'm gonna have a girl."
The blonde bursts into tears and says, "I'm gonna have puppies!"

I can't believe I got fired from my job at the DNA testing facility.

After all the blood, sweat, and tears I put in.

"It's a boy!"

...he screamed, "it's a boy!".
Tears rolling down his face, and he vowed to never go back to Thailand.


And with tears streaming down my face, I swore I'd never visit another Thai Brothel...

My wife said she would leave me if I didn't stop making Pokémon references...

'You need to make a choice' she said 'It's either me or the s**... pokémon references!'
'I understand', I replied, holding back tears. 'Sandra, I choose you!!!'

My son came home from school in tears.

"My girlfriend slept with my best friend," he said.
I said, "That's very flattering, I never knew I was your best friend."

A Blond goes to work in tears.

A blonde goes to work in tears. Her boss asks, "What's wrong?"
She says, "My mom died."
He told her to go home, but she said, "No, I'll be fine."
Later that day, her boss finds her crying again. He says, "What's wrong?"
She replies, "I just talked to my sister, and her mom died, too!"

I used to be a telemarketer

I phone up one of my usual numbers and a little boy answers the phone.
"Are you parents home, young man?" I ask.
I hear him drop the phone and burst into tears. I wait a few seconds until someone pick up the phone. An elderly voice at the end of the line barks back at me:
"For the last time, this is an orphanage. PLEASE stop calling."

Little Johnny and the Birds and the Bees

Little Johnny's father asks him if he knows about the birds and the bees.
"I don't want to know!" Little Johnny says, bursting into tears.
Confused, his father asks what's wrong.
"Oh, Dad," Little Johnny sobs, "first, there was no Santa Claus, then no Easter Bunny, and finally, no Tooth Fairy. If you're about to tell me that grownups don't really have s**..., I've got nothing left to believe in."

A blonde walks in on her husband cheating on her

Sobbing uncontrollably, she pulls out the gun from the drawer and puts the barrel under her chin.
"No, honey! Don't! I'm sorry; don't leave me alone with the kids!"
Glaring through her tears, the blonde yells:
"Oh, don't worry. You're going to be next."

Nearly 200,000 Californians evacuated due to Oroville dam reaching a likely catastrophic failure. You may think this isn't the time to bring up politics however this is Trump's fault.

No man made structure was built to hold so many liberal tears.

Your cat died

A woman went on vacation, leaving her husband behind. Before she left, she told him to take extra special care of her cat.The next day she called her husband and asked if the cat was all right.
Her husband said: The cat just died.
She burst into tears and said: How could you be so blunt? Why couldn't you have broken the news gradually! Today, you could have said that it was playing on the roof; tomorrow, you could have said that it fell off and had broken its leg; then on the third day, you could have said that the poor thing had passed away in the night. You could have been more sensitive about the whole thing. By the way, how is my mom?
Husband: She is playing on the roof.

Billy's mom comes home to see him crying...

Billy, what's wrong son?
Dad hanged himself in the attic! replied Billy, "eyes in tears".
The mother rushes to the attic in a panic, quickly followed by her son.
As she gets up to the attic she notices that nothing is there and little Billy started giggling...
HaHaHa! April fool's mommy!!!
He hanged himself in the basement!

The wife & I have just been to the cinema to see that film, Suffragette.

Two hours of a woman's struggle... full of tears, aggression, sadness, anger and frustration.
Anyway, after she finally managed to park the car in the cinema car park, we rushed in and caught the credits.

Best son ever

5 year old son after reading a story of a king
Son : mom, I also want 3 wives, one will bathe , one will cook and one will sing
Mom : which one will put you to sleep?
Son: no mom, I will still sleep with you. Mom's eyes filled up with tears... God bless you son
Mom : who will the 3 wives sleep with?
Son : let them sleep with daddy
Daddy's eyes filled with tears... God bless you son

A blonde, a brunette, and a red head

Are all sitting in the waiting area of the ob/gyn. The brunette says, "I heard if he's on top you're going to have a boy." The red head says, "well I heard if she's on top you're going to have a girl."
The blonde bursts into tears. The other two rush to her asking what's wrong.
Through tears and sobs she says, "I'm going to have puppies".

A woman gets up in the morning

wakes up her husband and says:
- Honey, I had a wonderful dream. I dreamed you gave me a diamond necklace for my birthday. What does it mean?
The husband answers:
- You'll know it on your birthday.
The wife's birthday arrives and the husband enters the house with a package in his hand. The woman, excited, takes it from her hands, tears the paper nervously, quickly opens the box and finds a book titled: "The meaning of dreams."

A woman gets on a bus with her baby in Glasgow.

The bus driver turns to her and says Oi! That there's the ugliest baby I've ever seen, you should be ashamed of yourself, bringing a baby like that out in public. It's disgusting! She rushes to the back of the bus in tears, and a gentleman leans over to her and asks Lassie, why're you crying?
She says Well that bus driver up there just said the most horrible thing to me that anyone's ever said before.
In shock the gentleman exclaims Well you can't just let him get away with that! You've got to get up there and give him a piece of your mind! Here, I'll hold your monkey.

"Right, I've been thinking." I said to the oncologist. "I'm not keen on radiotherapy or chemotherapy. At this stage I think it would be best to just let the disease take its natural course."

My wife's eyes filled with tears, "We should've discussed this together."
"My minds made up." I insisted.
"I think your wife is right." Said the consultant. "After all, she is the one with cancer."

A blonde and her husband are watching the news...

News: A Brazilian man died while skydiving when his parachute didn't open.
The blonde bursts into tears
Husband (comforting her): I know it's sad, but people need to know that there's a risk while skydiving.
Blonde: But that's a lot of people. How many is a Brazilian?

A man died in an accident when working at the brewery.

When the police arrived at his home to inform his wife, she asked how it happened. "Well, madam, I'm sorry to say he fell into one of the beer cauldrons and drowned," said the officer. In tears, the wife asked the officer, "Please, at least tell me it was a quick death". "Unfortunately not," the officer explains, "witnesses say he climbed out at least twice to go to the bathroom".

"I need help with this crossword," yelled my girlfriend, almost in tears. "9 letters, another word for 'concentration'.

I think she's seeking attention.

Santa comes to the White House....

Santa arrives at the White House and hands Donald Trump his Christmas present. Trump excitedly tears open his gift then looks up at Santa in shock. "What?", Santa exclaims. "I thought you LOVED coal.

Blonde Joke

Three pregnant women were having brunch together, discussing pregnancy matter, and the subject of the baby's gender came up.
Brunette: My baby's going to be a boy because when my husband and I conceived, I was on top.
Redhead: My baby is going to be a girl because I was on the bottom.
Blonde (bursting into tears): "My baby's going to be a puppy."

A man goes to a f**... and asks the widow,

"Mind if I say a word?"
"Please do", she says.
Silence ensues...
The man clears his t**... and went on
Tears welled up in her eyes.
"Thank you, that means a lot"

Sir, your son was smoking m**... at school during the class!

Says the teacher to a student's parent at a school gathering.
-- Did he say where he got it?
-- Yes! His best friend gave it to him.
The father, cleaning his tears:
-- Did he really say that?

Happy father's day!

5 year old son after reading story of a king says to his mom:
Son: Mom, I also want 3 wives... one will cook, one will sing, one will bathe me
Mom: And which one will put you to sleep
Son: No mom, i will still sleep with you
Mom's eyes filled up with tears.
Mom: God bless you son. But who will sleep with your 3 wives?
Son: Let them sleep with daddy.
Daddy's eyes filled up with tears. God bless you son !
Happy Father's day!

Kim Jong Un and Vladimir Putin were having a meeting in a 20-story building.

During a break the two leaders made a bet about the loyalty of their guards.
First, Putin called his guard Ivan into the room, opened the window and said, "Ivan, jump down."
Ivan replied in tears, "Mr. President, how could you do this to me? I have a wife and a son."
Putin explained that he was only joking, and let Ivan out.
Then Kim Jong-Un called his guard Lee, and told him to jump. Lee started running toward the window.
Putin grabbed him and said, "Are you crazy? You will die if you jump!"
Struggling, Lee replied, "Let me go! I have a wife and a son!"

My daughter turned 18 today, so I bought her a locket and put her picture in it. As I gently placed it around her neck, chocking back the tears, I said, "Well, sweetheart, I guess you really are..."


An elderly woman is holding a f**... for her recently deceased husband

After the viewing, she discusses how kind and honest of a man her husband was, how she was so sad to see him go, and she bursts into tears.
Her nephew, after consoling his mourning aunt , asks May I say a word .
Through tears she says, Of course
He takes a moment and says Plethora .
His aunt, wiping her eyes, says Thank you, that means a lot.

A man was sobbing next to his ex-wife in the hospital who had just been hit by a bus..

He kept saying "It should have been me... it should have been me" over and over, with tears flowing out of his eyes.
The nurse tried to console him, telling him "Don't be too harsh on yourself. For all you know you couldn't have changed it, even had you been there"
To which he replied : "I guess you're right. After all, I don't even know how to drive a bus"

A husband died

A husband died.
A few years later, his wife died.
As she got to heaven she saw her husband and ran up to him with tears in her eyes.
"Darling, oh how I've missed you!"
The husband extends his arms, stopping her from embracing him and says,
"Woah there woman. The contract was until death."


I couldn't believe it.
I was in tears.
I could never trust her again.
I sent her away and told her to never return. It was over.
Still weeping, I sat on the bed next to my best friend.

I said, "bad dog".

Knock knock

Knock Knock!
Who's there?
It's Dave!
Dave who?
Dave bursts into tears, realizing that his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him.

A teacher asks her primary school students what their father do for a living

"So, Timothy, what does your father do ?"
"My dad is a firefighter !"
"Fantastic ! And you Samantha, what does your father do ?"
" He's an accountant !"
"Wonderful ! And yours, Jimmy ?"
Poor little Jimmy then breaks into tears and wails "my father is dead !"
"Oh, I'm so sorry Jimmy, I didn't know... But did he do before dying ?"
"Well, he was all like : ARGLALRGHALRLALGALHA !"

Minutes ago , my brother ran out of the room with tears in his eyes shouting : it is a boy , it is a boy !

Dont go to Thailand , my worst trip so far !

I called my son a b**... disappointment and my girlfriend burst out into tears

Appartently, she's sensitive about her miscarriage

Did you hear about that kid that got overwhelmed and burst into tears when his parents threw him a huge Thor themed 6th birthday party?

He wanted something a little more Loki.

A little girl runs up to her mother and says "mummy, daddy hanged himself in the basement!"

Upon hearing the news the mother breaks down in tears and, shakily, makes her way into the basement.
When they get there, the woman cannot see the father's corpse.
The little girl then exclaims "April fools! Daddy did it in the garage"

Money cant buy you happiness.

But I'd rather have my tears hit designer Bugatti leather than the composite foam in my car.

Exactly 10 years ago my pal Jon came running out shouting it's a boy with tears streaming down his face...

We never went back to Thailand

There is a husband and a wife that, over their marriage, have eight kids.

One day the husband notices that their sixth kid, Billy, looks very different from the other seven.
The husband goes to his wife and asks her, "Honey, I noticed that Billy looks different from the other children, did you have an affair?"
The wife starts to break down into tears and nods her head.
The husband, heartbroken, quietly asks his wife, "So who is Billy's father?"

Tears joke, There is a husband and a wife that, over their marriage, have eight kids.

jokes about tears