Teams Jokes
94 teams jokes and hilarious teams puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about teams that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Make your next Teams meeting more fun and light with these hilarious jokes and pranks related to Teams, football squads, PSL teams, NFL teams, and more. From silly puns to light-hearted team pranks and activities, keep your squad laughing all April Fool's Day.
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- Short Teams Jokes
- Teams One Liners
- League Teams Jokes
- Teams Meeting Jokes
- Opposing Teams Jokes
- Microsoft Teams Jokes
- Football Teams Jokes
- More Teams Jokes
Funniest Teams Short Jokes
Short teams jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The teams humour may include short team work jokes also.
- Bill Gates and Elon Musk should team-up and make a medicine to treat erectile dysfunction, and name it ElonGates.
- What's the difference between a tea bag and the German football team? A tea bag stays in the cup for longer...
Bit of British humour right there ;) - Did you hear that the US bobsled team put Donald Trump's picture on the front of the sled? Apparently nobody else can make America go downhill faster.
- My son started dating a goalie for a women's soccer team and asked me what I thought of her. I said "Son, she's a keeper."
- Whenever I get a stack of resumes, I throw half of them in the trash I sure don't want unlucky people on my team.
- The Somalian Olympics team has just apologised The Somalian Olympics Team has just apologised to the Olympic Committee after realising that sailing and shooting were 2 separate events!!
- How many Broncos does it take to change a tire? One. Unless it's a blowout then the whole team shows up.
- What's the difference between a teabag and the German national team? The teabag stays in the cup longer
- England fans must be pretty happy right now. They've been waiting years for their team to play like Spain.
- I was clinging for dear life on the edge of the cliff... As the rescue team approached, one of the guys shouted, "Whatever you do, don't look down!"
So I started smiling...
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Teams One Liners
Which teams one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with teams? I can suggest the ones about league and clubs.
- China should have a cricket team. They can take out the whole world with one bat
- If Caitlyn Jenner were a super hero, what team would she be on? The Ex-Men.
- What would you call the Fantastic Four if snoop dogg joined the team? The High Five
- There's no 'I' in 'team,' But there are six in 'Dissociative Identity Disorder.'
- If ironman and Silver Surfer teamed up They would be alloys
- What do you call a bunch of employees caught sleeping on the job? A dream Team.
- Someone actually wished me Merry Christmas Merry Christmas to you too, Team Snapchat
- I used to run a pro-life debate team. No one could de-fetus.
- There's no I in team. There's no u either.
- There's no 'I' in team... ...but there's five in 'individual brilliance'.
- How many hearts can the Belgium football team break at once? About a brazilian...
- What's the Al-Qaeda's favourite sports team? The New York Jets ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
- I just found out the kool-aid man plays on a baseball team. He's the pitcher.
- You see comrade, there is no I in team But there is a U in gulag.
- My wife doesn't need makeup to look beautiful. She needs a team of surgeons.
League Teams Jokes
Here is a list of funny league teams jokes and even better league teams puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- The Pakistani cricket team walk into a bar... to watch the Indian Premier League
- What do you call an all kid superhero team....... Just Kids League
- Why can't there be a League of Legend's team of 5 Lucians? Because you can't have a team with only 3 champions.
- What do you call a person of Jewish decent who plays for the Washington major league team? A Hebrew National
- A Marksman on our League of Legends team is a bit paranoid. He tends to hide in random places so nobody could sabotage him before a game.
Does that make him a concealed carry? - Got a job offer to measure the players of a major league vs. prison team football game. I really had to weigh the pros and cons.
- A little league team needed jerseys...
- N F L THE NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE IS CONSIDERING EXPANDING NEXT YEAR BY ADDING A PRISON TEAM
Teams Meeting Jokes
Here is a list of funny teams meeting jokes and even better teams meeting puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Neymar is meeting up with the Thailand football team who were trapped in a cave... He's going to teach them how to dive
- BOSS: This team isn't performing, hire someone with a good track record... [2 wks later]
ME: I'd like you to meet our new employee, Usain Bolt - The Wizard of Oz, synopsis. Transported to a surreal landscape, a young girl kills the first person she meets and then teams up with three strangers to kill again.
- What did Dani Alves said in team strategy meeting when he got phone call ? I will be right back
Opposing Teams Jokes
Here is a list of funny opposing teams jokes and even better opposing teams puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Did you know that, during the first game of the 1936 baseball season, the Boston Braves managed to win while also badly injuring six players on the opposing team? They were truly ruthless.
- Our soccer team is not too good. In the game today, the opposing team hit the bar twice in the first half. They could have at least waited till the end of the game to celebrate.
- Did you hear about the basketball team catching an illness from the opposing team? Cross Court-amination
- Ladies, if your man stops the opposing team from scoring a goal... He's a keeper
Microsoft Teams Jokes
Here is a list of funny microsoft teams jokes and even better microsoft teams puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- If someone on the Windows team at Microsoft gets fired... would you say they've been defenestrated?
Football Teams Jokes
Here is a list of funny football teams jokes and even better football teams puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- The England Football Team visited an Orphanage in Russia yesterday.. "It's heart breaking to see their little faces with no hope", said Vladimir, aged 6.
- What's the difference between Maddie McCann and the England football team Only one of them is coming home
- Why was Cinderella kicked out of the football team? She ran away from the ball.
- Did you hear about the baby ghost who joined the football team? He heard the coach say they needed a little team spirit.
- What is 5 feet tall, has 22 legs and feigns death if you approach it up to two meters? The Italy national football team.
- what's al qaeda's favorite football team? The New York Jets
- Why aren't there many female football teams? Because you can't convince 11 women to wear the same clothes
- What is 1.60 m high, has 22 legs and feigns death if you touch it? The Italy national football team.
- The England Football team..... visited a Brazilian orphanage this morning. 'It's heartbreak to see their sad little faces with no hope' said Jose, age 6.
- Why doesn't Pakistan have its national football team? Whenever they get a corner, they will set up a shop.
Laughable Teams Jokes for Instant Grins & Giggles
What funny jokes about teams you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean tournament jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make teams pranks.
How many teamsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
19 . Got a problem with that?
Heard a dwarf-comedian tell this ( no offence t**... anybody) (quite long)
There is a bar that sponsors a soccer team for midgets, so after every game the team and their opposing team of that weak eat free at the second floor of that bar. So when the teams are eating a man comes in and starts drinking, big time. After a while the first team leaves and the man looks in surpise bus remains silent. After he's had another drink the second team leaves. The man then turns to the barkeeper and says dead serious: " I don't mean to alarm you but I think your foosball ( table football) table is leaving."
No offence to anyone. I just thought it was hilarious.
Did you hear about player safety in the super bowl?
Both teams suffered from blackouts
Gatorades competition.
Upon the inception of Gatorade at the University of Florida, and the strides the teams were making on the field, Florida State University *also* tried to make their own energy drink for student athletes.
Unfortunately no one wanted to drink the "*Seminole Fluid*"...
Why are even the best forensic teams unable to catch h**... criminals?
Because they all share the same DNA and there are no dental records.
If college football created a bowl game called the "Hyperbole," which two teams would be selected to play in it?
The two greatest teams in the history of the known universe.
What are your best Sports Team jokes?
With the NHL season getting started tonight. I am wondering what are you best jokes making fun off sports teams. All Sports (Baseball,hockey,football, soccer etc).
The CIA, The Mossad and The KGB.
A mummy was found in Egypt, and to determine its age and whatnot, three best forensic teams of the world decided to start a competition.
The CIA went first. They studied the mummy for a year, and then came up with a result: the person lived around 1000 years BC, plus or minus 200 years.
The Mossad goes next. They study the mummy for a month, and conclude: it was a pharaoh who ruled 1000 years BC, give or take 100 years.
The KGB team goes next. They hold the mummy for a week, and then come up with this: it was Pharaoh Ramenhotep the Second, born 1022 BC, became king after murdering his uncle, ruled for five years, on the third year of his reign the Nile flooded Luxor, on the fourth year the hittites attacked.
Everyone is perplexed: "How did you find all this out?"
"He confessed"
what are pee wee herman's favorite baseball teams?
yanks and the expos
Tour guide in the mountain
A guide was leading a group of people on a hike through some mountains. He pointed at a fairly majestic looking peak and said "This one is most popular with mountain climbers. Most days you have a few teams doing a climb. The ascent, depending on your skill level can take between two and five hours. The descent, again depending on your skill level, takes anywhere between 4 hours and 30 seconds."
How do you tell the teams apart in Amish women's basketball?
It's skirts versus shins.
Favourite football/soccer teams
What's an arthroplasty surgeon's favourite football team? Ipswich Town
What's a jockey's favourite football team? Derby
What's a detective's favourite football team? Leads United
What's a fossil's favourite football team? S'underland
What's a stale meat's favourite football team? Oldham
What's a fit, balding person's favourite football team? Wigan Athletic
What's a pirate's favourite football team? Loot-on (Luton) Town
What do you call a football team full of r**...?
Special teams.
There are now 3 undefeated cat teams in the NFL!
The Panthers, the Bengals and the Cheetahs.
I mean, NHL teams have father-son road trips all the time
I don't think they're as common in the NBA though...
How do alien sport teams get to the game?
In the sportsmanship.
What do baseball teams and muffins have in common?
They both rely on a good *batter*
Breaking news
This morning saw what will probably become the worst air disaster in the Midwest. An ultralight single-seater plane crashed into a cemetery in Stockholm, Wisconsin. So far, the search and rescue teams have recovered 1736 bodies and as the digging continues into the night, we can only expect that number to climb.
Why are there no teams named after a dog in the NFL?
They would get beaten by Michael Vick
Uber teams up with Lyft to fight ride-sharing restrictions in Germany
Deutschland Uber allies was probably a bad choice for the name of the coalition.
Why are there no Mexican teams in the olympics?
If a mexican can run, jump or swim, they're in the US.
Was part of a really bad dodgeball team named off in the woods....
Other other teams would rejoice saying "Last night we beat off in the woods".
Why did the kids get shot in the getto neighborhood?
Because they were playing tag with blue and red teams..
If two teams of football players hosted a game at a beach..
Would it be a Jersey Shore?
What should you serve for dinner when the guest of honor will be your father who "switched teams" and now is named Ella?
Paella.
"I'd like to welcome all the athletes to the Olympic Games"
"I'd also like to welcome the curling teams"
In the latest sequel, John McClain teams up with two elderly nuns to save the Vatican from terrorists.
It's called Old Habits Die Hard.
Do you know why an Asian teams can never win the soccer world cup?
...Every time a player gets a corner, he builds a shop
Germany brought 12 tons of supply for World Cup in Moscow, the most among 32 teams.
They paid the price for not bringing enough 75 years ago.
Had a tricky and emotional chat with my 9-year-old son this morning. There was a lot of "Boo hoo, nobody picks me for teams" and "I haven't got any friends".
Anyway, he was very nice about it and gave me some tips for being more sociable.
It's good to see Thailand hasn't changed since I was last there
With entire soccer teams in deep holes, and way too many traps.
Jungle animals started a softball league...
The teams are separated by species.
A colorful long beaked bird, not sure where to go, asked an old monkey umpire, where his team was playing.
He replied, "Mongoose vs snakes are on field 1, ants vs frogs play on field 2..."
"Quit monkeying around", the bird chuckled, "I just want to know which field I'm on."
"Species puns, huh?" he replied, "Well toucan play at that game."
Teams are interested in Kareem Hunt
I didn't know kickers where in such high demand.
The Grecian Gods vs the Greeks
Zeus and his human friend Spiro were watching a game of football, the gods versus the humans. Spiro looked around the pitch at all the players and then saw an absolute unit of a player, a half horse, half human professional. Spiro asked Zeus, Hey, who's that player over there? Zeus responded, That's our teams centaur-forward .
Superbowl LIII is the only superbowl I've seen where fans of both teams got along and agreed
That it was the worst superbowl ever
Why do painters prefer working in teams?
They don't want to dye alone.
What type of firearms does the Wonka chocolate factory security teams use
the UMP-A
There is a huge debate about letting NFL teams play against prison inmates as part of their rehabilitation program.
Understandable, it has a big list of pros and cons.
What do cakes and baseball teams have in common?
They both need a good batter.
Sports Teams should be named for what their city is famous for
For example: Dallas is known for cowboys, San Francisco was the place for the miners, 49ers, to bring their gold and claims, Islignton was famous as being home of the Artillery Regiment, thus "Arsenal," Milwauke HAD brewing.
Washington should change their name to "Senators," and Cleveland could become the "Steamers."
You hear about the quarterback who switched teams after being sacked 8 times??
The grass was greener on the other side of defense.
The CIA, KGB and MI6 decide to have a contest.
Each is given the task to find a rabbit
realeased in the woods.
The CIA uses spyplanes and satellites and finds the rabbit in 2 hours.
The MI6 deploys recon and search teams and finds it in 3 hours.
The KGB return after 1 hour with a badly beaten bear who cries out "I am the rabbit and I surrender".
Do you know why they don't allow prostitutes on crew teams?
Because h**... are hard to row.
Nvidia teams up with Oceana nonprofit to track manta rays' travelling habits
They're applying their latest ray tracing technology.
One Bill Gates' divorce
According to Melinda Gates, Bill just didn't Excel at his marriage. Apparently he had no Power Points while arguing, but he always had to have the last Word. And now that he no longer had Access to her heart, the Outlook was not looking good for them. They couldn't work together as Teams. On the Surface they were a perfect couple, but deep down there was hardly any Kinect. He kept everything hidden like an X-Box and she never found it re- Azuring Finally she realized there was no Window of opportunity to stay together.
Teamster jokes
Why is there a horse on the Teamster logo?
It's the only animal that sleeps standing up.
What do Teamster's kide do at the playground do?
Sit on folding chairs and watch other kids play.
What do you call a Teamster in a 3 piece suit?
Defendant
Two teamsters are standing around. Suddenly on of them crushes a snail under is his boot.
The other one asks "why did you do that"?
"that son of a b**... has been following me around all day"
A minister and his friend in the congregation were fans of rival sports teams.
When they were due to play each other, the two made a gentleman's agreement not to pray for their team.
The minister's team ended up losing quite badly, and he decided to tease his friend about it from the pulpit on Sunday.
"My friends, you know that Doug and I back different teams. We said we wouldn't pray for our team to win, but obviously, Doug cheated," he grinned at his friend and the congregation chuckled.
"Preacher, I didn't do that," Doug shot back. "I just asked God to let the best team win!"
What does George Lucas look for when rating a university's sports program?
He makes sure there are two D2 teams.
A man goes to see a psychologist...
The man tells the doctor that he has a recurring nightmare in which two teams of rats play football.
The doctor said: 'Take this pill, and tonight the nightmare is gone.'
'I can't do that.' The other one said.
'Why not?' The doctor asked, puzzled.
With a grin on his face, he said: 'The final game of the season is tonight.'
A man goes to see a psychologist..
'Doctor, I keep dreaming about two teams of rats dressed like humans that play football.'
'I see. Take this pill tonight, and the dream will be gone.'
'No, no. I can't do it tonight.'
'Why not?' Asked the puzzled doctor.
With a grin, the man said. 'Tonight's the final game of the season.'
