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Teaching Job Jokes

25 teaching job jokes and hilarious teaching job puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about teaching job that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Teaching Job Short Jokes

Short teaching job jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The teaching job humour may include short teaching english jokes also.

  1. Recently I've started teaching a poetry class in a maximum security prison. It's a tough job but I enjoy it. It really has it's prose and cons.
  2. I got fired from my job as a math teacher I was supposed to teach the kids what sine divided by cosine was, but I kept going off on a tangent.
  3. In a job swapping exercise , a politician was assigned the job Of a math teacher .
    Guess what did he teach the kids in the class.
    Division
  4. If you give a man a fish he will eat for a day but... if you teach a kid how to make pop tarts your job as a parent is pretty much done
  5. Give a robot a fish, feed him for a day. Teach a robot to fish, feed him for a lifetime.

    Teach a robot to teach other robots to fish, you're out of a job.
  6. I started a new job I started a new job ready to teach dealers black jack and Texas hold'em, but all i saw was diapers and detergent. I guess i went to the wrong Procter and Gamble.
  7. Had to pick my son up from school today He got caught being wanked off under the desk by someone in his class for the 3rd time this week! I said "son, maybe teaching isn't the job for you!"
  8. I had to have talk with the principal over my policy of giving no A's on my tests. "Mr. Smith, if you want to keep your job as the grammar teacher, you need to start teaching the ENTIRE alphabet."

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Teaching Job One Liners

Which teaching job one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with teaching job? I can suggest the ones about school teacher and teach.

  1. I was voted Least likely to succeed by my High School class. I hate my teaching job.
  2. I just got a job teaching in America! Yeah. Geography as a foreign language.
  3. What is the #1 book that teaches you all about business The Book of Job

Teaching Job Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about teaching job you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean high school teacher jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make teaching job pranks.

A professor, a CEO, and a janitor are in a forest when they discover a magic fairy.

The fairy says "I will give you what you most desire if you do someone else's job for a day."
The professor says "I'll be an elementary school teacher. What can be so hard about teaching a bunch of 6-year-olds how to read?" so he is teleported into a classroom. After a few minutes, all the kids' screaming gets to his nerves, so he throws all his supplies and gives up.
The C.E.O says "I'll be a waiter. All you do is carry food back and forth. This'll be a breeze" so he is teleported to a restaurant. After about an hour, all the annoying customers drive him insane, so he smashes his plates on the ground and gives up.
The janitor says "I'll be an artist" so he is transported to an art facility. He glues all the classroom supplies and shattered plates to a canvas, then sells it for a billion dollars. The fairy asks the janitor how he was so clever.
The janitor says "I got a masters degree in art."

Today my son was sent home from school for receiving a hand-job from a girl in his class for the third time this year. Each time this has happened he has been given a stern talking to from the principal and had to change schools.

Tired of constantly moving around, I said to him "Son if this keeps happening
they are going to ban you from teaching altogether."

My teaching career.

I used to teach history, but thats all in the past.
I started teaching biology but my heart wasn't in it.
I tried teaching chemistry, but there were elements i didnt understand.
I was offered a job teaching maths, but something didn't add up.
I was sent to Germany to do food science, that was the wurst.
I've started teaching physics, its got potential.

A string gets t**...

A string walks into a classroom. The teacher sees the string, then ties it between two posts tightly. Did the teacher do a good job teaching?


Yes, because the string was taut.

Does this Turkish joke translate well?

A brand new professor is starting his first day teaching at a university. To do a better job of helping his students, he wants to know who is struggling most in class so he asks his students:
"If there is anyone in this class that feels like they're not smart enough and are struggling, please stand up."
The whole class went silent, then all of the sudden a student stands up.
"You don't think you're smart enough for this class son?" the teacher asks.
The students responds, "No sir, I just felt bad that you were standing up alone"

Dad's job

(German here)
The teacher asks the children what their dad's are doing for a job. All very exited shouted all different professions;
"Police Office, Fireman, banker, accountant, ..." ... only Hans remained quiet.
So, the teach asks "Hans, what is you dad doing as a job?"
"Oh, he's dancing n**... at a gay club and sometimes man pay him more money and they go to a motel together".
"Is that true, Hans?" The teacher asks shocked.
"No, he's playing football (soccer) for the German national team but that would have been too embarrassing.

In 1860, a man was given the job of teaching English to Indians (as they were called at the time).

He takes one of the Indian tribesmen out to the woods and is pointing things out and saying the word for it. "Tree. Stream. Rocks."
They go around a bend and right there in the trail there's another Indian h**... a s**...'s brains out. The English speaking man turns red and says "uhhhh... man riding bike."
The Indian pulls out his bow and fires two arrows, killing the couple. The English speaking man jumps back in horror and screams, "what did you do that for?!"
The Indian looks at him calmly and says, "man riding my bike."

A schoolteacher quits his job to become a pirate...

In 18th century America, a schoolteacher decides that he's sick and tired of teaching spelling and grammar to children all day. So he quits his job, sells his house, and plans to become a pirate. He goes down the harbor to buy a boat and hire a crew. Once his crew is ready, they head out onto the high seas, with the captain/former teacher at the helm.
As they sail, they spy a merchant ship on the horizon and start chasing it. As they catch up, the captain tells the first mate to command the crew to start priming the cannons. The first mate sends the message down and the crew readies the cannonballs, prepares the gunpowder, and takes aim at the merchant ship. The first mate runs back up to the helm and says "captain, the cannons be ready!"
The captain turns to the first mate and says "are!"

A professor, a CEO, and a janitor are in a forest when they discover a magic fairy.

The fairy says I will give you what you most desire if you do someone else's job for a day.
The professor says I'll be an elementary school teacher. What can be so hard about teaching a bunch of 6-year-olds how to read? so he is teleported into a classroom. After a few minutes, all the kids' screaming gets to his nerves, so he throws all his supplies and gives up.
The C.E.O says I'll be a waiter. All you do is carry food back and forth. This'll be a breeze so he is teleported to a restaurant. After about an hour, all the annoying customers drive him insane, so he smashes his plates on the ground and gives up.
The janitor says I'll be an artist so he is transported to an art facility. He glues all the classroom supplies and shattered plates to a canvas, then sells it for a billion dollars. The fairy asks the janitor how he was so clever.
The janitor says I got a masters degree in art.

A professor, a CEO, and a janitor are in a forest when they discover a magic fairy.

The fairy says "I will give you what you most desire if you do someone else's job for a day."
The professor says "I'll be an elementary school teacher. What can be so hard about teaching a bunch of 6-year-olds how to read?" so he is teleported into a classroom. After a few minutes, all the kids' screaming gets to his nerves, so he throws all his supplies and gives up.
The C.E.O says "I'll be a waiter. All you do is carry food back and forth. This'll be a breeze" so he is teleported to a restaurant. After about an hour, all the annoying customers drive him insane, so he smashes his plates on the ground and gives up.
The janitor says "I'll be an artist" so he is transported to an art facility. He glues all the classroom supplies and shattered plates to a canvas, then sells it for a billion dollars. The fairy asks the janitor how he was so clever.
The janitor says "I got a masters degree in art."

A lady goes to her parish priest one day and tells him, "Father, I have a problem.

I have two female parrots but they only know how to say one thing."
"What do they say?" the priest inquired.
"They say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?'" the woman said e**....
"That's obscene!" the priest exclaimed, "I can see why you are embarrassed."
He thought a minute and then said, "You know, I may have a solution to this problem. I have two male parrots whom I have taught to pray and read the Bible. Bring your two parrots over to my house and we will put them in the cage with Francis and Job. My parrots can teach your parrots to praise and worship. I'm sure your parrots will stop saying that...that phrase in no time."
"Thank you," the lady responded, "this may very well be the solution."
The next day, she brought her female parrots to the priest's house.
As he ushered her in, she saw his two male parrots were inside their cage, holding their rosary beads and praying.
Impressed, she walked over and placed her parrots in with them.
After just a couple of seconds, the female parrots exclaimed out in unison, "Hi, we're prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?"
There was a stunned silence.
Finally, one male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and said, "Put the beads away, Francis, our prayers have been answered!"