Teachers Question Jokes
124 teachers question jokes and hilarious teachers question puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about teachers question that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Teachers Question Short Jokes
Short teachers question jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The teachers question humour may include short teacher grading jokes also.
- Student: I've been writing my exam for 2 hours but haven't answered a single question!!! Politics Teacher: Well done, that's an A.
- As the teacher marked my quiz answers, she said, "This is wrong." "Question 2 ?" I asked.
"No, the way your hand is resting between my thighs." - Teacher - how did our grandparents kill time without smartphones or internet ? Student- I've already asked this question to my mum, her 5 brothers and 7 sisters !!
- Boy and girl in class asked the teacher a question.
"Can kids of our age have kids?"
Teacher replied " NO Never!!"
Boy said to girl :
"See I told you not to worry!!!!" - The teacher says "If you answer my question, you can go home." One student throws a pen at him. The teacher asks "Who did that?"
"It was me, goodbye." - A teacher asks a student.. Teacher: I'm gonna ask you a question and I want you to answer fast. Got it?
Student: Yes teacher.
Teacher: What is 2+2?
Student: FAST! - My music teacher asked me a question. I said, "Miley Cyrus and Taylor Swift." "Excuse me?" he replied, hesitantly. "I was asking if you knew 'sheet' music."
- Teacher : Why did you only fill in all the odd questions in the exam? Blonde : Because i can't even
- Q & A Teacher: First one to answer the next question gets to leave early.
(Johnny immediately threw his bag out the window)
Teacher: Who threw that bag?
Johnny: I did! Bye guys! - A teacher asked the students a question about bombs, which left them stumped... So, the teacher asked a new clear question.
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Teachers Question One Liners
Which teachers question one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with teachers question? I can suggest the ones about students related and teacher pupil.
- Teacher: Question Everything. Me: Why?
- Student: Teacher, can I ask you a question? Teacher: You just did.
Comical & Quirky Teachers Question Jokes for a Roaring Good Time
What funny jokes about teachers question you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean school teacher jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make teachers question pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Sixth grade science teacher Mrs. Samson asks her class: "Who can tell me which o**... of the human body expands to 10 times its usual size when stimulated?"
Nobody raises a hand, so she calls on the first student to look her way. "Mary, can you tell me which o**... of the human body expands to 10 times its usual size when stimulated?"
Mary stands up, blushing furiously. "How dare you ask such a question?" she says. "I'm going to complain to my parents, who will complain to the principal, who will have you fired!"
Mrs. Sampson is shocked by Mary's reaction, but undaunted.
She asks the class the question again, and this time Sam raises his hand.
"Yes, Sam?" says Mrs. Sampson.
"Ma'am, the correct answer is the iris of the human eye."
"Very good, Sam. Thank you."
Mrs. Sampson then turns to Mary and says, "Mary, I have 3 things to tell you: first, it's clear that you have not done your homework. Second, you have a dirty mind. And third, I fear one day you are going to be sadly disappointed."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A little boy is in school working on his arithmetic.
The teacher says, “Imagine there are 5 black birds sitting on a fence. You pick up your BB gun and shoot one. How many blackbirds are left?”
The little boy thinks for a moment and says, “NONE!”
The teacher replies, “None, how do you figure that?”
The little boy says, “if I shoot one, all the other birds will fly away scared, leaving none on the fence.”
The teacher replies, “Hmm, not exactly, but I do like the way you think!”
The little boy then says, “Teacher, let me ask you a question. There are 3 women sitting on a park bench eating ice cream cones. One is l**... her cone, another is biting it and the third one is s**... it. How can you tell which one of the women is married?”
The teacher ponders the question uncomfortably and then finally replies, “Well, I guess the one s**... her cone.”
To which the little boy replies, “Actually, its the one with the wedding ring, but I do like the way YOU think!”
Teacher: "Don't forget to check the Internet if you have trouble with your homework questions."
Pupil: "It's not the questions I have trouble with, it's the answers."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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Little Tommy gets asked to stay after class...
so little boy tommy isnt very good at math so his teacher kindly asks him to stay after class so she can help him.He agrees and listens to the teacher as she gives an example.She starts off by saying that if there are 10 birds on a telephone pole and you shoot one off, how many are left? he quickly answers "none". she says "no tommy, there would be 9". he then looks at her and says "thats impossible, obviously if you shoot one off, they would all fly away". she tells him that she likes the way he thinks. he follows up by saying "can i ask you a question miss, if there are 3 ladies holding a lollipop, 1 s**... it, 1 l**... it, and 1 biting it...which one is married? the teacher quickly replies with "the one s**... it". he looks at her and says "no, the one with the ring on her finger, **but** i like the way you think
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Naughty Little Johnny
Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question.
"Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with
your gun, how many would be left?"
"None.", replied Johnny. "'cause the rest would fly away."
"Well, the answer is four," said the teacher. "But I like the way you are thinking."
Little Johnny said, "I have a question for you now. If there were three
women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one
l**... her cone, the second biting her cone, and the third one s**... her
cone, which one is married?
Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one s**... the cone?"
"No," said Little Johnny, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger. But
I like the way you are thinking".
The Teacher Fainted...
Philosophy final
in a class for philosophy, the teacher looks at his class, grabs his chair, places it on his desk and tells the entire classroom about his final.
"You have only one question: use your knowledge that I have taught you in this class and prove to me that this chair doesn't exist. You have until the end of class."
Now while everyone else in the class worked on long complicated answers to his problem, one student got up from his desk almost as soon as it begun. The student smiles and hands the teacher his paper and was off.
The teacher, almost sad that the student didn't even try, looked at the sheet of paper and gave the student an "A"
His answer: What chair?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Good Kid!
A father had a rather dim-witted son. One day, the son came home from school. His father asked him, "How was school, son?" His son replied, "Great dad! My teacher asked a question, and only I could answer!" His father was overjoyed. He probed, "Good kid! What was the question?"
His son replied, "She asked, 'Who f**...?' "
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A fun joke to tell your friends.
This joke is pretty fun to tell, but you need a friend to make it work.
You: A class went on a field trip to the zoo. The teacher stopped by the gorilla cage and said "Can anyone tell me what animal this is?" the r**... kid raised his hand and said "It's a gorilla." Everyone said "Yay for the little r**... kid!" They continue and the teacher stops by the flamingos and asks the same question. The r**... kid raised his hand and said "They're flamingos!" everyone said "Yay for the little r**... kid!" They stopped at another pen with white and striped horses in it. They're white, and they have black stripes... I can't remember what they are. (Act like you really don't know)
Your friend: Zebra.
You: *claps* Yay for the little r**... kid!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Another joke translated to English from my Uncle.
Little "peter" was in class when his teacher was talking about fruits, and she brought up the question, "Which fruits can be s**... on or smothered?"
A boy raised his hand and said, "An orange!" The teacher replied, "yes, correct!"
A girl raised her hand as-well and said, "A peach, teacher!" To which the teacher also agreed.
Finally, little Peter raised his hand and said, "A set of PJ's!"
The teacher, confused, said, "no, you cant s**... PJ's..."
Peter quickly replied, "Then why did the other night my Mom told my Dad, 'take off your pj's cause I'm going to s**... it."
It's better in Spanish = \
Need help finding a joke.
The question is ' What happens at the police station at closing time? ', And I believe the joke is physics related. Its a long story to explain why I need the punchline, but my physics teacher asked me to find it.
Technology has ruined our kids
A group of young children were siting in a circle with their teacher. She was going around in turn asking them all questions.
"Davy, what noise does a cow make? "
"It goes moo. "
"Alice, what noise does a cat make? "
"It goes meow. "
"Jamie, what sound does a lamb make? "
"It goes baaa. "
"Jennifer, what sound does a mouse make? "
"Errr.., it goes.. click! "
Proper Manners
During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question:
"Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?"
Michael said, "Just a minute I have to go pee." The teacher responded by saying, "That would be rude and impolite. What about you Sherman, how would you say it?"
Sherman said, "I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back."
"That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table. And you, little Edward, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?"
"I would say, 'Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, who I hope to introduce you to after dinner.'"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
little Johnny
Was sitting in class doing maths problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question.
"Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun how many would be left?"
"None," replied Johnny, "'Cause the rest would fly away."
"Well, the answer is four," said the teacher, "But I like the way you are thinking."
Little Johnny says, "I have a question for you now; If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop: one was l**... her cone, the second was biting the cone, and the third was s**... the cone, which one is married?"
"Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one s**... the cone?"
"No," said Little Johnny, "The one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you are thinking."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Finger l**... Good
Little Timmy was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question, "Timmy, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?" "None," replied Timmy, "cause the rest would fly away." "Well, the answer is four," said the teacher, "but I like the way you're thinking."
Little Timmy says, "I have a question for you. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one was l**... her cone, the second was biting her cone and the third was s**... her cone, which one is married?"
"Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one s**... the cone."
"No," said Little Timmy, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Smart-a**... Johnny
teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little Johnny.
"None, they all fly away with the first gunshot."
The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking."
Then Little Johnny says,
"I have a question for YOU.There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream. One is delicately l**... the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and s**... the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?"
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies,
"Well I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and s**... the cone."
"The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on...
.....but I like your thinking."
The Polite Way to Pee
a friend sent this to me on whatsapp today.
During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question:
"Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?"
Michael said: 'Just a minute I have to go pee.'
The teacher responded by saying: 'That would be rude and impolite'
What about you Sherman, how would you say it?'
Sherman said: 'I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back.' 😶
'That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table.
And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?
Johnny said: 'I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope to introduce to you after dinner.'
The teacher fainted...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The Answer Is Four (Teacher Joke)
Little Johnny was in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question…
Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?
None, replied Johnny. The rest would fly away.
Well, the answer is actually four, said the teacher. But I do like the way you're thinking.
Little Johnny quickly replies… Well, I have a question for you… Say you spot three women eating ice cream cones. One is l**... her cone, the second is biting her cone and the third is s**... her cone. Which one of these women is married?
Well, says the teacher nervously, I guess I'd say the one s**... the cone.
No, says Little Johnny. The one with the wedding ring on her finger is married. But I like the way you're thinking.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I like the way you think.
Teacher: "Four crows are on the fence. The farmer shoots one. How many are left?"
Little Johnny: "None."
Teacher: "Listen carefully; four crows are on the fence. The farmer shoots one. How many are left?"
Little Johnny: "None."
Teacher: "Can you explain that answer?"
Little Johnny: "One is shot. The others fly away. There are none left."
Teacher: "Well, that isn't the right answer. But I like the way you think."
Little Johnny: "Teacher, can I ask you a question?"
Teacher: "Sure."
Little Johnny: "There are three women in the ice cream shop. One is l**..., one is biting, and one is s**... her ice cream cone. Which one is married?"
Teacher: "The one s**... the cone."
Little Johnny: "No. The one with the wedding ring. But I like the way you think."
Jobs of our fathers
The principal of a school was to inspect one of the classes in her school. Before the inspection the head teacher goes to the class and tells the students that to every question from the principal, they need to give an illustrious answer even if it's not true.
The principal arrives. She goes over to little Jimmy and asks him:
"What does your dad do little boy?"
Now Jimmy's father was a poor shoemaker but Jimmy said:
"Oh, he's the owner of this large shoe factory."
She then goes to Timmy and asks him about his father's occupation.
Timmy was also relatively poor, his dad worked as a bricklayer.
"My pops owns a large construction company!" Timmy says smiling.
Finally she asks Ben. Now Ben was so poor, his father didn't have a job, but the local church out of charity let him ring the church's bells.
"Well my dad works as a DJ in the church."
The Tallest Boy
As the Principal made his rounds during the first day of school, he could hear a terrible commotion coming from one of the classrooms.
He quickly rushed in and spotted one boy, much taller than the others, who appeared to be making the most noise.
He seized the lad, dragged him to the hall, and told him to remain there until he was excused.
Returning to the classroom, the Principal restored order and lectured the students for quite some time on the importance of good behavior.
"Now," he said, "are there any questions?"
One girl stood up timidly and asked, "Yes, sir. May we please have our teacher back?"
Church
Molly and Charlie were at Sunday school at their local church, and Molly, being tired, began to fall asleep. The Sunday school teacher then proceeded to ask:
''Who came down from heaven to save our souls?''
Charlie sticks a pin in Molly's arm as she wakes up with a start:
''Jesus christ!''
''Well done Molly, thats correct''
Molly then goes back to sleep. The teacher asks her another question:
''Who lives up in heaven and created the earth?''
Charlie again sticks the pin in her arm as she again wakes up:
''God almighty!''
''Correct again Molly''
Molly then goes to sleep for a third time, as the teacher asks her another question:
''What did Eve say to Adam after their 23rd baby?''
Charlie again sticks the pin in her arm as Molly wakes up and shouts:
''If you stick that thing in me one more time, I'll snap it in two!''
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A little Johnny...
One day in math class little Johnny's teacher asked him to look out the window, where three birds were sitting on a fence. She then asks "Johnny, if I shoot one of those birds how many are left?" Johnny replies "None, they would all have flown away when they heard the gun shot." The teacher smiles and says "The correct answer was two, but I like the way you think."
Johnny looks at the teacher and says "I have a question for you." "There are three women in an ice cream shop and they all have an ice cream cone, one is l**... it, one is biting it, and one is s**... it, which one is married?" The teach thinks about it a bit and says "The one s**... it." Johnny looks at her and say "The right answer was the one wearing the wedding ring, but I like the way you think."
A young boy is sitting in class...
A young boy is sitting in class when the teacher asks the group a question: "Five birds are sitting on a branch. A hunter shoots two. How many birds are left?". The young boy raises his hand and answers: "None. The birds heard the gun shot and all flew away". The teacher explains to the young boy: "Well, that wasn't the answer I was looking for; but I like the way you think!"
The next day, the young boy comes into class with a question for the teacher: "Miss, three women are sitting on a park bench eating ice cream: One licks the ice cream. Another licks the ice cream and spits it out. The last one licks the ice cream and swallows. Which woman is married?" A little embarrassed by the question, the teacher answers: "The woman who swallows?" The young boy says: "No, the one with the wedding ring; but I like the way you think!"
The Kindergartener's Question
Johnny walked up to his kindergarten teacher with an inquisitive look in his eyes. "Do you know where the black—" Johnny asked, to the teacher's retort. "Johnny! Say African-American!"
"Do you know where the African-American construction paper is?"
A music teacher is facing the judge in court
After a few minutes, the judge recognises the man and asks him a question. "Hey, wasn't it you who taught my son to play the drums?"
"Uhh... yeah?" he replied.
"Life in prison for you!"
A 'Cold War' joke I tought up today...
It's early September, 1984. Children around the world are going back to school. Despite living on opposing sides of the Iron Curtain, two Mathematics teachers, one in the United States and the other in the Soviet Union, ask their respective classes the same question.
"OK class." Said the American teacher, "If I had three oranges, and I divided them fairly between four children, how many oranges would each child receive?"
Most of the children in his class answered with pretty much the same thing. "It's easy." Replied the class, "One child gets two oranges, the second gets a half, the third gets an eighth, the fourth gets nothing, and we keep the rest to throw at our enemies."
On the other side of the world, in Russia, the Soviet teacher asks the same to her own class.
"Students." She asked, "If I had three oranges, and had to distribute them fairly to four children, how many oranges will each child have?"
The Russian class asked their teacher "What are oranges?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I like the way you think.
Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question, "Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?" "None," replied Johnny, "cause the rest would fly away." "Well, the answer is four," said the teacher, "but I like the way you're thinking." Little Johnny says, "I have a question for you. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one was l**... her cone, the second was biting her cone and the third was s**... her cone, which one is married?" "Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one s**... the cone." "No," said Little Johnny, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking."
There was an International Job opening.
Two men applied, a Canadian man, and an American. After the test and the interview, they company decided to go with the Canadian man. The American with distraught asked why they decided to hire the Canadian and how he did in the interview and test. They said it was a very difficult decision because they both did equally well on the test and in the interview. The American was outraged. "THEN WHY DID YOU HIRE THE CANADIAN?!?." The manager then responded, "Well, you both did equally well in the interview, but the real problem was the test. You both got 9/10 on the test, but for question 10, the Canadian man put 'I don't know' and you put 'me neither.'"
Shout out to my Math Teacher for telling me this one.
While teaching a class,
A teacher trying to teach good manners asked her students the following question:
"Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?"
Michael said: "Just a minute I have to go pee."
The teacher responded by saying: "That would be rude and impolite. What about you Sherman, how would you say it?"
Sherman said: "I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back."
"That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table. And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?"
Johnny said: "I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, who I hope to introduce you to after dinner."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Little Jhonny and the teacher
Little Jhonny is in class doing a math problem when the teacher asks him :
-If there were 5 birds on that tree there and you shoot one, how many there would be left?
Little Jhonny thinks for a second and says "0!, because one would die and the others would fly away"
The teachers then replies "Thats not the answer I was looking for, but I like the way you think!"
Then little jhonny says to the teacher "Now i've got a question for you. There's 3 women on a bench having an ice cream. One is l**... it, another is s**... it and the third one is biting it. Which one is married?"
The teacher stops for a second and says "Well, I'm not sure but I think the one s**... it" and little Jhonny replies "Thats wrong, It would be the one with the ring on her finger, but I like the way you think"
Billy at school
The teacher asks Billy, the first grader, questions about animals:
T: Billy, what do we get from pigs?
B: Meat
T: That's right! And what do we get from sheep?
B: Wool
T: Correct! And what do we get from cows?
B: Homework
So, a middle school science class is learning about genetics
and the students are working with recessive and dominant eye colors in punnett squares. A few minutes into the activity one student beckons the teacher over. He has a very concerned look on his face.
The teacher is a little worried. This has happened before. Every once in a while a student realizes that he is adopted or his dad isn't who he thought.
The teacher hesitantly walks over to the concerned student, ready to have a difficult conversation.
"Do you have a question about the assignment?" the teacher asks.
"Well," the student replies, "I think I might be adopted, because I have blue eyes and both my moms have brown eyes!"
[According to a Special Ed teacher at my school, this really happened to her.]
What is the unit of power?
That's a statement not a question. My science teacher uses it quite a lot,so I thought I'd share
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Little Johnny, sitting in class...
...and the teacher asks him, "If you have 3 birds sitting on a power cable and you shoot one with your bb gun, how many do you have left?" "None" replies Johnny. "None?" the teacher inquires as Johnny explains that by shooting one bird, it scares the remaining away. "Well I was looking for the number, 'two birds left', but I like the way you think, Johnny". So Johnny asks the teacher if he can ask her a question and she agrees. "You have three women on a park bench, each eating ice-cream cones. One of them is biting it, one is l**... it, and one is s**... it. Which one of them is married?" Johnny asks. "Well..., I guess the one s**... it?" ponders the teacher. "It's the one with the wedding ring", says Johnny, "but I like the way YOU think".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A very innocent question
Son: Dad, I got punished in school today
Dad: Why?
Son: My teacher pointed the scale at me and said "At the end of the scale there is an idiot"....
I just asked "Which End?"
:o
A boy is taking an exam to complete his language class.
He arrives at the last question, only to realise he can't answer it. The teacher asks him what the matter is. He replies, "I can't Finnish."
Who answers my next question, can go home.
In class the teacher says:
- "Who answers my next question, can go home."
Little Johnny throws his bag out the window.
- "Who just threw that?"
- "Me and I'm going home now."
A mathematician, an engineer, and a statistician are all interviewed for the same job...(my statistics teacher in college told the class this joke)
Each of them are brought into the bosses office individually and asked only one question.
The mathematician comes in and is asked "what is 2 + 2?" To which he answers "obviously it's 4"
The engineer is asked the same question. "Well it's hard to say for sure, I'd have to make a few calculations, draw up some graphs. Let me get back to you in about a week."
Finally, the statistician is brought in.
"What's 2 + 2?"
The statistician then casually closes all the blinds in the room and slyly asks "what do you *want* it to be?"
How do people finish graduating from a Journalist school? They have to answer one last question. That question is "how do you do an excellent article?"
And the graduate answers "well, I think you press ctrl-c."
"Yes, go on," says the teacher.
"Then you press ctrl-v," says the graduate.
Five minutes later it's the graduation ceremony.
In class room . Russia , after the war .
Russia , 1951 . school teacher asked the children. Who were your fathers ? the first boy said, " driver " , the second "The Postman ." I ask a question about the third . He said, " electrician. He was wearing a helmet and helmet were two lightning . (P.s - sorry for my english :) )
A teacher asks a student a question.
Teacher: If I give you two cats, then two more cats, and then another two cats, how many cats do you have?
Student: Seven.
Teacher: Listen carefully. If I give you two cats, then two more cats, and then another two cats, how many cats do you have?
Student: Seven.
Teacher: Okay, how about I put it this way. If I give you two apples, then two more apples, and then another two apples, how many apples do you have?
Student: Six.
Teacher: Good, you get it! So if I give you two cats, then two more cats, and then another two cats, how many cats do you have??
Student: Seven.
Teacher: Why the heck seven??
Student: Because I already have a cat!
Asking a question
During the computer class, the teacher chastised one boy for talkingto the girl sitting behind him.
"I was just asking her a question, " the boy said.
"If you have a question, ask me," the teacher replied.
"OK," the boy answered. "Do you want to go out with me Friday night?"
teacher question
The teacher asked his student: Does the wild fox gives birth or lays egg ? The student said: the fox is a sly !! you should expect anything from him !!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Funny f**... Jokes (family friendly)...
A boy comes home proudly announces to his parents "Mom, dad, the teacher asked the class a question today and I was the only one who knew the right answer!"
The parents are very happy and ask, "That's amazing Lenny! And what was the question?"
Sticking out his chest, the boys says, "Who f**...?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Dad: Why did the Grammar teacher slap you today?
Dad: Why did the Grammar teacher slap you today?
Son: I just wanted to clear my doubt. I asked her a valid question for which she had no answer, so she took out her frustration by being violent.
Dad : What was the question?
Son: I asked her why 'bra' is singular when it covers two things & p**...' plural when it covers only one
Pirate joke
A teacher is giving a history lesson on pirates. He asks the students a question.
"What is a pirates favorite letter".
A student's excitedly shouts " R "!
Teacher replys "You would think it's R but it's the C they love".
Little Johnny is back
In the class the teacher said: "the first person to answer my question will go home early".
Little Johnny threw his bag outside.
Teacher asked: "Whose bag is that???"
Johnny answered: "It's mine....
bye bye!"
Discrimination
Three first-graders are flunking their class. The teacher calls them in and tells them: "I will ask you one question each, if you can answer it, you pass."
"Jim, how do you spell 'Cow'?"
"Jack, how do you spell 'Car'?"
"Muhammad, how do you spell 'Racial discrimination'?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I failed my biology test today. There was a question that asked, "What is commonly found in cells?"
I guess my teacher didn't think "black people" was a good answer.
When you die and you're in your casket and friends and family are mourning you...
Three friends are sitting in a bar drinking, when one turns to the others and asks, "When you die and you're in your casket and friends and family are mourning you, what would you like to hear them say about you?"
The first guy thinks and says, "I would like to hear them say that I was a great doctor, and a great family man."
The second guy says, "I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher which made a huge difference in our children of tomorrow." He turns back to his buddy, who asked the question, "What about you?"
The guy snorts, "I want them to say, 'MY GOD, HE'S STILL ALIVE!!'"
I took a geography test one time and my teacher asked us to restate every question.
I failed.
Just one word
With the new school year, teachers hand out those "we'd like to know more about you" forms for the students to fill out. One of the questions was "Use one word to describe yourself". My son's answer:
"Can't follow directions"
A teacher asks three of his students a question
"In your own words, what does capitalism mean?"
The American student asks "What does 'define' mean?"
The Russian student asks "What does 'capitalism' mean?"
The North Korean student asks "What does 'in your own words' mean?"
There is always a light at the end of the tunnel
The real question is whether or not a train is behind it.
(Told to me by my chem teacher)
A math teacher was lecturing his class
Suddenly, the professor popped a question,'What is ((353.44634×153×15)+799²-285)×69-0.2 equal to?'
The students were really confused, one who was extremely frustrated stands up and yells and slams on his table,'NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN!' The teacher was impressed and said,' Correct, now you can sit down, Adolf.'
Billy and Tommy are in a classroom
Billy gets up to go ask the teacher a question, when he runs into Tommy along the way.
Billy: What are you going up to ask?
Tommy: I wanted to know what the word coincidence means.
Billy: Wow that's funny, I was just about to go ask the same question.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
In school, we had an assembly on bullying
The teacher spoke about a young gay boy, being bullied because of his sexuality. She spoke in length about his life, and the verbal a**... he suffers. She then asked a question, 'How do you think he takes it?' Apparently, 'Up the a**...!' wasn't a suitable answer.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
"There are no s**... questions," all the teachers told us.
OK, but there are s**... people.
Biology Lesson
A little girl raised her hand during a biology lesson and asked the teacher if her grandmother could have a baby.
The teacher surprised by the question explains that her grandmother would be too old to have a baby.
The little girl followed that up by asking if her mother could have a baby.
The teacher explains that although it was possible her mother is a bit old now so it was unlikely she would have a baby.
The little girl then asked "can I have a baby?"
"Of course not, you're much too young to have a baby" replied the teacher.
"See!" Said a voice at the back of the classroom. "I told you that you didn't have anything to worry about!"
Google - Boy or Girl?
Teacher : Google is a girl or a boy..?
..
..
..
Student: Google is a Girl.....because it won't let you complete
the whole sentence and start guessing, suggesting.....and
you ask only one question.....
but get hundreds of irrelevant answers in seconds...
Student asks Teacher a question
Teacher: And that's the first alcohol was like
Student: Teacher, what was it like before wine?
Teacher: it wasn't grape
Little Johnny was learning about punctuation
The teacher was explaining all of the different punctuation marks.
She listed the comma, question mark and when she got to period; Little Johnny raised his hand.
He asked: Why are periods so important?
The teacher responded: Well, they are a fundamental part of the written language; why do you ask?
Little Johnny replied: Yesterday my sister said she missed a period and my Mom fainted, my Dad started yelling and the next door neighbor shot himself
A Latin student asks his teacher a question.
The student asks, "What's the Latin word for 'he wears'?"
The teacher shrugs and says, "Gessit."
An elementary school teacher is asking a student a Maths question
Teacher: "Ok, Jimmy. If I gave you two cats and another two cats, how many cats would you have?"
Jimmy: "Five!"
Teacher: "No, Jimmy. Let me ask you another way. If I give you two apples and I give you another two apples, how many apples would you have?"
Jimmy: "Four!"
Teacher: "Good, Jimmy! Now if I gave you two cats and another two cats, how many cats would you have?"
Jimmy: "Five!"
Teacher: "Jimmy! That is incorrect! Why are you answering with five?"
Jimmy: "Because I already have a cat!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
In s**... education, the teacher asked: "does anyone have any questions about the female human body?"
I said: "yes miss, do you know any good places to hide one?"
A teacher says to a boy: "Answer one question i'm gonna give you and you can go home."
Boy :"Ok."
Teacher:"What state is Las Vegas located in?"
Boy:"That state"
Teacher:"What state exactly?"
Boy:"Woah, that's already the second question."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Little Peter was on his classroom
his the teacher asks, if I have five birds on a branch and I throw a stone to one of them, how many I have left ...
None teacher ... ..
Why not Peter? ....
no teacher because the others fly away from the fright ....
That's wrong Peter but I like your way of thinking ......
The next day Peter goes to his teacher and ask her, now I am going to ask a question, if you see two women eating an ice cream and one of them is s**... and the other is biting, which one who is married ???? ....
After a little thought the teacher says a little confused, I guess the one who is s**... ...
No teacher, the one with the ring, but I like the way you think ...
A teacher says to her class "whoever answers my next question can go home."
One boy at the back of the class throws his bag out the window.
"Who just threw that? Demands the teacher.
"Me" replied the boy. "And I'm going home."
How to get to heaven
A Sunday school teacher asked her class the question how do we get to heaven?
She then asked, Can I be nice to my neighbors and go to church every Sunday and get into heaven?
The class replied, No.
She said, Okay, can I keep my house clean and help the poor then get into heaven?
The class again replied, No.
She asked, Then how do we get to heaven?
A boy stood up a said, You need to be dead!
One day, a teacher said "Whoever can answer my next question can get dismissed now".
Tom threw his bag outside the window.
The teacher asked angrily "Who threw the bag?"
Tom answered "It's me! "
Tom got dismissed early.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
"There are three crows sitting on a branch,
you shoot one, how many are left?" The teacher asks little Jack.
"None Mrs. Parker, because the others would've flown away after hearing the gunshot."
"The correct answer is two little Jack, but I like the way you think."
"Well Mrs. parker, I have a question for you too. There are three ladies sitting on a bench eating a lollipop. The first one licks the lollipop, the second one s**... on it, and the third one bites it. Which one of them is married?
The teacher starts blushing and answers: "The one that's s**... on it."
"The correct answer is the one wearing a wedding ring, but I like the way you think."
A teacher asked her class to use "definitely" in a sentence.
"The sky is definitely blue," said one girl.
"Nice try but the sky can be black or purple or even orange," replied the teacher.
"The grass is definitely green," said a little boy.
"Well... The grass can be brown too."
Little Johnny raised his hand.
"Yes Johnny?"
"Are farts solid?" asked little Johnny.
Finding this an odd question she was slightly shocked, but answered anyway, "No Johnny."
"Well I definitely pooped my pants."
As the teacher marked my quiz answers, she suddenly stopped, looked up at me and shook her head in utter disappointment. With cold, dead eyes, she muttered, "This is wrong." Mouth dry, I whispered, "Question 2?"
She snarled, "No, the way your hand is resting between my thighs."
