The Best 77 Teachers Question Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Teachers Question jokes. There are some teachers question instructor jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these teachers question maths puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Teachers Question Jokes and Puns
An international school teacher asks a question: "What's your own opinion on food scarcity in other countries?"
**An African student:** What's food?
**A European student:** What's scarcity?
**An American student:** What are 'other countries'?
**A Chinese student:** What's 'my own opinion'?
Little Tommy gets asked to stay after class...
so little boy tommy isnt very good at math so his teacher kindly asks him to stay after class so she can help him.He agrees and listens to the teacher as she gives an example.She starts off by saying that if there are 10 birds on a telephone pole and you shoot one off, how many are left? he quickly answers "none". she says "no tommy, there would be 9". he then looks at her and says "thats impossible, obviously if you shoot one off, they would all fly away". she tells him that she likes the way he thinks. he follows up by saying "can i ask you a question miss, if there are 3 ladies holding a lollipop, 1 sucking it, 1 licking it, and 1 biting it...which one is married? the teacher quickly replies with "the one sucking it". he looks at her and says "no, the one with the ring on her finger, **but** i like the way you think
So a teacher asks his class the question...
"What's your opinion on donating food to foreign countries?" The African student says, "What's food?" The Indian student says, "What's donating?" The American student says, " What's foreign countries?" And the Chinese student says, "What's my opinion?"
Philosophy final
in a class for philosophy, the teacher looks at his class, grabs his chair, places it on his desk and tells the entire classroom about his final.
"You have only one question: use your knowledge that I have taught you in this class and prove to me that this chair doesn't exist. You have until the end of class."
Now while everyone else in the class worked on long complicated answers to his problem, one student got up from his desk almost as soon as it begun. The student smiles and hands the teacher his paper and was off.
The teacher, almost sad that the student didn't even try, looked at the sheet of paper and gave the student an "A"
His answer: What chair?
Little kid in sunday school
the teacher is asking the 5 year olds questions, and asks one specific question to little Suzie; "And why is it important for us to be quiet when we're listening to the sermon, Suzie?" To which she replied, "because the old people are sleeping."
Good Kid!
A father had a rather dim-witted son. One day, the son came home from school. His father asked him, "How was school, son?" His son replied, "Great dad! My teacher asked a question, and only I could answer!" His father was overjoyed. He probed, "Good kid! What was the question?"
His son replied, "She asked, 'Who farted?' "
Boy and girl in class asked the teacher a question.
"Can kids of our age have kids?"
Teacher replied " NO Never!!"
Boy said to girl :
"See I told you not to worry!!!!"
Need help finding a joke.
The question is ' What happens at the police station at closing time? ', And I believe the joke is physics related. Its a long story to explain why I need the punchline, but my physics teacher asked me to find it.
Technology has ruined our kids
A group of young children were siting in a circle with their teacher. She was going around in turn asking them all questions.
"Davy, what noise does a cow make? "
"It goes moo. "
"Alice, what noise does a cat make? "
"It goes meow. "
"Jamie, what sound does a lamb make? "
"It goes baaa. "
"Jennifer, what sound does a mouse make? "
"Errr.., it goes.. click! "
little Johnny
Was sitting in class doing maths problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question.
"Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun how many would be left?"
"None," replied Johnny, "'Cause the rest would fly away."
"Well, the answer is four," said the teacher, "But I like the way you are thinking."
Little Johnny says, "I have a question for you now; If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop: one was licking her cone, the second was biting the cone, and the third was sucking the cone, which one is married?"
"Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one sucking the cone?"
"No," said Little Johnny, "The one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you are thinking."
Finger Licking Good
Little Timmy was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question, "Timmy, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?" "None," replied Timmy, "cause the rest would fly away." "Well, the answer is four," said the teacher, "but I like the way you're thinking."
Little Timmy says, "I have a question for you. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one was licking her cone, the second was biting her cone and the third was sucking her cone, which one is married?"
"Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one sucking the cone."
"No," said Little Timmy, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking."
You can explore teachers question student reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean teachers question classmates dad jokes. There are also teachers question puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
The Polite Way to Pee ξ±
a friend sent this to me on whatsapp today.
During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question:
"Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?" ξ
Michael said: 'Just a minute I have to go pee.' ξ
The teacher responded by saying: 'That would be rude and impolite'
What about you Sherman, how would you say it?'
Sherman said: 'I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back.' πΆ
'That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table. ξ
And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners? ξ
Johnny said: 'I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope to introduce to you after dinner.' ξξ
The teacher fainted...ξξξ
The Answer Is Four (Teacher Joke)
Little Johnny was in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a questionβ¦
Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?
None, replied Johnny. The rest would fly away.
Well, the answer is actually four, said the teacher. But I do like the way you're thinking.
Little Johnny quickly replies⦠Well, I have a question for you⦠Say you spot three women eating ice cream cones. One is licking her cone, the second is biting her cone and the third is sucking her cone. Which one of these women is married?
Well, says the teacher nervously, I guess I'd say the one sucking the cone.
No, says Little Johnny. The one with the wedding ring on her finger is married. But I like the way you're thinking.
A little Johnny...
One day in math class little Johnny's teacher asked him to look out the window, where three birds were sitting on a fence. She then asks "Johnny, if I shoot one of those birds how many are left?" Johnny replies "None, they would all have flown away when they heard the gun shot." The teacher smiles and says "The correct answer was two, but I like the way you think."
Johnny looks at the teacher and says "I have a question for you." "There are three women in an ice cream shop and they all have an ice cream cone, one is licking it, one is biting it, and one is sucking it, which one is married?" The teach thinks about it a bit and says "The one sucking it." Johnny looks at her and say "The right answer was the one wearing the wedding ring, but I like the way you think."
The Kindergartener's Question
Johnny walked up to his kindergarten teacher with an inquisitive look in his eyes. "Do you know where the blackβ" Johnny asked, to the teacher's retort. "Johnny! Say African-American!"
"Do you know where the African-American construction paper is?"
A music teacher is facing the judge in court
After a few minutes, the judge recognises the man and asks him a question. "Hey, wasn't it you who taught my son to play the drums?"
"Uhh... yeah?" he replied.
"Life in prison for you!"
There was an International Job opening.
Two men applied, a Canadian man, and an American. After the test and the interview, they company decided to go with the Canadian man. The American with distraught asked why they decided to hire the Canadian and how he did in the interview and test. They said it was a very difficult decision because they both did equally well on the test and in the interview. The American was outraged. "THEN WHY DID YOU HIRE THE CANADIAN?!?." The manager then responded, "Well, you both did equally well in the interview, but the real problem was the test. You both got 9/10 on the test, but for question 10, the Canadian man put 'I don't know' and you put 'me neither.'"
Shout out to my Math Teacher for telling me this one.
School joke
Teacher: Whoever answers my next question, can go home.
One boy throws his bag out the window.
Teacher: Who just threw that?!
Boy: Me! I'm going home now.
Billy at school
The teacher asks Billy, the first grader, questions about animals:
T: Billy, what do we get from pigs?
B: Meat
T: That's right! And what do we get from sheep?
B: Wool
T: Correct! And what do we get from cows?
B: Homework
Teacher said "Whoever answers my next question, can go home."
Teacher said "Whoever answers my next question, can go home."
I threw my bag out the window.
The teacher shouted at me. "Who just threw that?!"
I replied "Me! And I'm going home now."
Who answers my next question, can go home.
In class the teacher says:
- "Who answers my next question, can go home."
Little Johnny throws his bag out the window.
- "Who just threw that?"
- "Me and I'm going home now."
How do people finish graduating from a Journalist school? They have to answer one last question. That question is "how do you do an excellent article?"
And the graduate answers "well, I think you press ctrl-c."
"Yes, go on," says the teacher.
"Then you press ctrl-v," says the graduate.
Five minutes later it's the graduation ceremony.
In class room . Russia , after the war .
Russia , 1951 . school teacher asked the children. Who were your fathers ? the first boy said, " driver " , the second "The Postman ." I ask a question about the third . He said, " electrician. He was wearing a helmet and helmet were two lightning . (P.s - sorry for my english :) )
Teacher - how did our grandparents kill time without smartphones or internet ?
Student- I've already asked this question to my mum, her 5 brothers and 7 sisters !!
Asking a question
During the computer class, the teacher chastised one boy for talkingto the girl sitting behind him.
"I was just asking her a question, " the boy said.
"If you have a question, ask me," the teacher replied.
"OK," the boy answered. "Do you want to go out with me Friday night?"
Funny Fart Jokes (family friendly)...
A boy comes home proudly announces to his parents "Mom, dad, the teacher asked the class a question today and I was the only one who knew the right answer!"
The parents are very happy and ask, "That's amazing Lenny! And what was the question?"
Sticking out his chest, the boys says, "Who farted?"
Dad: Why did the Grammar teacher slap you today?
Dad: Why did the Grammar teacher slap you today?
Son: I just wanted to clear my doubt. I asked her a valid question for which she had no answer, so she took out her frustration by being violent.
Dad : What was the question?
Son: I asked her why 'bra' is singular when it covers two things & 'panties' plural when it covers only one
Pirate joke
A teacher is giving a history lesson on pirates. He asks the students a question.
"What is a pirates favorite letter".
A student's excitedly shouts " R "!
Teacher replys "You would think it's R but it's the C they love".
Little Johnny is back
In the class the teacher said: "the first person to answer my question will go home early".
Little Johnny threw his bag outside.
Teacher asked: "Whose bag is that???"
Johnny answered: "It's mine....
bye bye!"
Discrimination
Three first-graders are flunking their class. The teacher calls them in and tells them: "I will ask you one question each, if you can answer it, you pass."
"Jim, how do you spell 'Cow'?"
"Jack, how do you spell 'Car'?"
"Muhammad, how do you spell 'Racial discrimination'?"
I failed my biology test today. There was a question that asked, "What is commonly found in cells?"
I guess my teacher didn't think "black people" was a good answer.
A teacher asks a student..
Teacher: I'm gonna ask you a question and I want you to answer fast. Got it?
Student: Yes teacher.
Teacher: What is 2+2?
Student: FAST!
Just one word
With the new school year, teachers hand out those "we'd like to know more about you" forms for the students to fill out. One of the questions was "Use one word to describe yourself". My son's answer:
"Can't follow directions"
A teacher asks three of his students a question
"In your own words, what does capitalism mean?"
The American student asks "What does 'define' mean?"
The Russian student asks "What does 'capitalism' mean?"
The North Korean student asks "What does 'in your own words' mean?"
A math teacher was lecturing his class
Suddenly, the professor popped a question,'What is ((353.44634Γ153Γ15)+799Β²-285)Γ69-0.2 equal to?'
The students were really confused, one who was extremely frustrated stands up and yells and slams on his table,'NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN!' The teacher was impressed and said,' Correct, now you can sit down, Adolf.'
Billy and Tommy are in a classroom
Billy gets up to go ask the teacher a question, when he runs into Tommy along the way.
Billy: What are you going up to ask?
Tommy: I wanted to know what the word coincidence means.
Billy: Wow that's funny, I was just about to go ask the same question.
In school, we had an assembly on bullying
The teacher spoke about a young gay boy, being bullied because of his sexuality. She spoke in length about his life, and the verbal abuse he suffers. She then asked a question, 'How do you think he takes it?' Apparently, 'Up the arse!' wasn't a suitable answer.
A first grade teacher was trying to teach her students about animals
She said "What does the fat Cow give us?"
Her students shouted out "Milk!" Unanimously.
She then said "Well done! Now, what does the fluffy chicken give us?"
Her students responded with "Eggs!"
She then said "Good work! Now for the last question. What does the big pig give us?"
Her students paused for a moment and they all shouted "Homework!"
Google - Boy or Girl?
Teacher : Google is a girl or a boy..?
..
..
..
Student: Google is a Girl.....because it won't let you complete
the whole sentence and start guessing, suggesting.....and
you ask only one question.....
but get hundreds of irrelevant answers in seconds...
Dad, my Geography teacher Adolf will give me a quiz tomorrow.
Sure Hans. Let me ask you some questions.
Capital of Germany? Berlin
Capital of France? Berlin
Capital of Russia? Berlin
Capital of Poland? Berlin
Capital of USA? Tokyo
Capital of China? Tokyo
Hotel? Trivago
That's my boy.
As the teacher marked my quiz answers, she said, "This is wrong."
"Question 2 ?" I asked.
"No, the way your hand is resting between my thighs."
Little Johnny was learning about punctuation
The teacher was explaining all of the different punctuation marks.
She listed the comma, question mark and when she got to period; Little Johnny raised his hand.
He asked: Why are periods so important?
The teacher responded: Well, they are a fundamental part of the written language; why do you ask?
Little Johnny replied: Yesterday my sister said she missed a period and my Mom fainted, my Dad started yelling and the next door neighbor shot himself
Q & A
Teacher: First one to answer the next question gets to leave early.
(Johnny immediately threw his bag out the window)
Teacher: Who threw that bag?
Johnny: I did! Bye guys!
I used to smoke weed and go to class...
Sneak in ten minutes late with a bullshit excuse. Slink down low at my desk. Pray to God nobody asked me any questions.
I was the best teacher ever.
German dream
A teacher in germany was teaching the students about the american dream. At the end of the class the teacher asks if there were any questions. A kid raised his hand and asks if there is a german dream too. The teacher replies "there was, but our neighbours didnt like it that much"
Teacher : Why did you only fill in all the odd questions in the exam?
Blonde : Because i can't even
In sex education, the teacher asked: "does anyone have any questions about the female human body?"
I said: "yes miss, do you know any good places to hide one?"
A teacher says to a boy: "Answer one question i'm gonna give you and you can go home."
Boy :"Ok."
Teacher:"What state is Las Vegas located in?"
Boy:"That state"
Teacher:"What state exactly?"
Boy:"Woah, that's already the second question."
A teacher says to her class "whoever answers my next question can go home."
One boy at the back of the class throws his bag out the window.
"Who just threw that? Demands the teacher.
"Me" replied the boy. "And I'm going home."
How to get to heaven
A Sunday school teacher asked her class the question how do we get to heaven?
She then asked, Can I be nice to my neighbors and go to church every Sunday and get into heaven?
The class replied, No.
She said, Okay, can I keep my house clean and help the poor then get into heaven?
The class again replied, No.
She asked, Then how do we get to heaven?
A boy stood up a said, You need to be dead!
My music teacher asked me a question. I said, "Miley Cyrus and Taylor Swift."
"Excuse me?" he replied, hesitantly. "I was asking if you knew 'sheet' music."
One day, a teacher said "Whoever can answer my next question can get dismissed now".
Tom threw his bag outside the window.
The teacher asked angrily "Who threw the bag?"
Tom answered "It's me! "
Tom got dismissed early.
Teacher asks Little Johnny A Question..
Teacher: "OK class, who will give me the chemical formula for water?"
Johnny: "HIJKLMNO."
Teacher: "What on earth are you on about?"
Johnny: "Well you said yourself yesterday it was H to O!"
A teacher asked her class to use "definitely" in a sentence.
"The sky is definitely blue," said one girl.
"Nice try but the sky can be black or purple or even orange," replied the teacher.
"The grass is definitely green," said a little boy.
"Well... The grass can be brown too."
Little Johnny raised his hand.
"Yes Johnny?"
"Are farts solid?" asked little Johnny.
Finding this an odd question she was slightly shocked, but answered anyway, "No Johnny."
"Well I definitely pooped my pants."
As the teacher marked my quiz answers, she suddenly stopped, looked up at me and shook her head in utter disappointment. With cold, dead eyes, she muttered, "This is wrong." Mouth dry, I whispered, "Question 2?"
She snarled, "No, the way your hand is resting between my thighs."
Four high school kids who carpooled together decided to skip school and spend the day fishing.
The next day they told the teacher that they had had a flat tire, and couldn't make it to class.
Much to their relief, she smiled and said, "Well, you missed a pop quiz yesterday, so take seats apart from one another and take out a piece of paper." Still smiling, she waited for them to sit down.
Once they were seated and ready, she said: "First Question: Which tire was flat?"Β
A teacher asked her students a question
"Stand up if you think you're stupid."
The room was quiet for a bit, then one boy stood up.
"Do you think your stupid, James?", asked the teacher.
"No," replied James.
"Why did you stand up then?" asked the teacher.
"I didn't want you to be standing alone."
The teacher says "If you answer my question, you can go home."
One student throws a pen at him. The teacher asks "Who did that?"
"It was me, goodbye."
A student receives a bad grade on his exam
And he goes to talk to the teacher, convinced that he's been graded unfairly.
He says to the teacher "I think I deserve some points on these questions, even if my answers weren't entirely correct!"
The teacher sighs and says "ok, I'll take another look at your exam".
The student comes home, and his mother asks him "so how did the exam go?". He replies: "the teacher thought it was remarkable!'
Quick Thinking
Teacher says, "Whoever can answer my next question, is free to leave class."
One little boy chucks his backpack out the window.
Teacher asks, "Who threw that bag?"
Little boy, "Me! I'll see you tomorrow!"
A seventh grader asked his English teacher a question in class
"Why do we ignore some letters in pronunciation eg. the letter H .......in Hour, Honour. .....etc. She replied, "We are not ignoring them; they're considered silent."
During lunch break that day, the teacher gave the student her packed lunch and asked him to heat it in the Cafeteria. He ate all the food and returned her the empty container.
Shocked, she asked: "What happened? The boy replied: "Madam, I thought 'H' was silent.
My high school English teacher was so mean!
She would walk around the classroom and stop to ask students random grammar questions. I remember this one time she was walking by my desk and she stopped, pointed at me and said "Quick, name 2 pronouns!"
Startled, I looked at her and replied "who, me?"
My chemistry teacher asked me a question in class.
She told to me to rank all the bonds.
So I did.
1) Connery
2) Craig
3) Brosnan
4) Dalton
5) Lazenby
She sent me outside the class. I still wonder if there were any Moore?
The teacher asks, "Flora, what part of the human body increases ten times when excited?"
Flora blushes and says, "That's disgusting, I won't even answer that question." The teacher calls on Johnny: "What part of the human body increases ten times when excited?" "That's easy," says Johnny. "It's the pupil of the eye." "Very good, Johnny," responds the teacher. "That's correct." She then turns to Flora and says, "First, you didn't do your homework. Second, you have a dirty mind. And third, you're in for a BIG disappointment."
One day in class, the math teacher Mrs. Brown noticed that Little Johnny was not paying attention to what she was saying...
So she called Little Johnny to recite in class.
"Little Johnny, answer this math question," she said. "If you have 500 dollars and you gave 100 dollars to Susie and gave 100 dollars to Jeannie and gave 100 dollars to Mary Ann, what do you have ?"
"An orgy," answered Little Johnny.
Bad at Titles
Teacher: Whoever answers the next question correctly, can go home early!
Student: \*raises hand\*
Teacher: What is it?
Student: It's me raising my hand, and now I can go home. Thanks!
Security question: What was the last name of your first grade teacher?
My first grade teacher hacking my bank account: I'm in
A teacher told the students, "The person who answers my next question correctly gets to leave class early."
A teacher told the students, "The person who answers my next question correctly gets to leave class early."
Suddenly, a pen came flying across to room, practically hitting the teacher in the face.
"Who threw that?!" the teacher shouted angrily.
"Me!" piped up a voice from the back of the classroom. "Can I leave now?"
One day a teacher says...
One day a teacher says "whoever answers my next question can go home."
So little Timmy throws his school bag out the window.
"Who threw that?" the teacher asks.
"Me. Can I go home now?"
Who is the laziest person in class?
Father: Well, Tom, I asked to your teacher today, and now I want to ask you a question. Who is the laziest person in your class?γ
Tom: I don't know, father.
Father: Oh, yes, you do! Think! When other boys and girls are doing and writing, who sits in the class and only watches how other people work?
Tom: Our teacher, father.
Little Johnny is in class...
and his teacher says; 'Whoever answers my question right, can go home'. Johnny takes a brick from his bag and throws it through the window. 'Who did that?!?!' the teacher yelled. 'I did sir, can I go home now?'
The Teacher asked Little Johnny if he could use Definitely in a sentece
Little Johnny: Yes, but can I ask a question first......
Teacher: What is your question.......
Little Johnny: Do farts have lumps in them?......
Teacher: No, Little Johnny, farts do not have lumps in them...
Little Johnny: Then I definitely just shit my pants
Two students, James and John were given a grammar test by their teacher. The question was,"is it better to use 'had' or 'had had' in this example sentence?"
The teacher collected the tests and looked over their answers.
James, while John had had 'had',had had 'had had'. 'Had had' had had a better effect on the teacher.
Michael takes an exam
Michael is taking an exam at his school. All questions are True or False questions. He hasn't studied so he decides to answer all his questions by flipping a coin.
Once the time is up, The teacher collects everyones exams but notices that Michael is still working. The teacher asks why he's still flipping the coin. Michael replies by saying I was just checking my answers.
"The person who answers this last question gets to leave early" said the teacher
"Now what is the sum of three and two, multiplied by the square root of 6 " the teacher asked.
The class began scribbling furiously. All except for Bobby. Bobby raised his hand and the teacher called on him.
"5" answered Bobby confidently. He began to pack up his things and walk to the door.
"Not quite correct Bobby" the teacher said "so you don't get to leave early"
"You didn't say it had to be correct...Just that someone had to answer"
A teacher asks little Johnny a question...
-If there are five birds in a powerline and someone shoots one, how many birds are left?
-None because they will get scared away from the gunshot"
-Four but I like the way you think
-I have a question for you then. There's three women eating ice cream, one's sucking, one's licking and one's biting. Which one is married?
-The one licking.
-No, the one with the wedding ring but I like the way you think.
Joke of the day
Teacher: "Billy ifΒ there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot 1, how many birds are left?"
Billy: "none the others flew away"
Teacher: "the awanser is 4 but I like the way you think"
Billy: "i have a question for you miss. There are 3 women eating ice cream.Β 1 licking, 1 biting and 1 sucking. Which one is married?"
Teacher nervously awansers: the one sucking
Billy: the awanser is the one with the wedding ring, but I like the way you think
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the teachers question answer jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working teachers question class piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.