Following is our collection of funny Teachers jokes. There are some teachers pupil jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these teachers gym teacher puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
All I ask is that the librarians get silencers
Because they're private tooters!
On a Monday morning, a mother went in to wake up her son.
"Wake up son. It's time to got to school!"
"But mom, I don't want to go."
"Give me two reasons why."
"Well, the kids hate me, and the teachers hate me too!"
"That's no reason. Come now get ready."
"Give me two reasons why I should go?"
"Well for one you are 52 years old. And for another, you're the principal!".
Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son.
"Wake up, son. It's time to go to school!"
"But why, Mom? I don't want to go."
"Give me two reasons why you don't want to go."
"Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me also!"
"Oh, that's no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready."
"Give me two reasons why I should go to school."
"Well, for one, you're 52 years old. And for another, you're the PRINCIPAL!"
I haven't even handed it in yet!
"Father, I have a confession to make; I had a threesome with two hot teachers."
"Well my son, we all have our transgressions. I want to you say 10 Hail Mary's".
"Father I can't do that, I'm Jewish !"
"Then why are you telling me this ? "
"Father, I'm telling EVERYBODY"
Dear Dad,
Berlin is wonderful, people are nice and I really like it here,
but Dad, I am a bit ashamed to arrive at my college with my pure-gold Ferrari 599GTB when all my teachers and many fellow students travel by train.
Your son, Nasser.
The next day, Nasser gets a reply to his e-mail from his dad:
My dear loving son,
Twenty million US Dollar has just been transferred to your account. Please stop embarrassing us. Go and get yourself a train too.
Love,
your Dad
Because if you don't get it right the first time they make you do it again ;)
They prefer complete sentences.
The teachers said I ruined the trip to Auschwitz
Because everyone there hates integration.
You can explore teachers classmates reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean teachers tangents dad jokes. There are also teachers puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
- "But I don't wanna go, all the teachers and students hate me."
- "You have to go."
- "Give me one reason why I should go."
- "Your 35, and you're the principal."
... Donnie Corleone Jr. walks in, opens his violin case and unveils, to the shock of all, a tommy gun. The teachers are livid, panic nearly ensues, but Donnie just starts laughing uncontrollably.
"What's wrong with you? This is serious! Why are you laughing?"
"Because I just imagined dad holding up the bank with my violin."
My boss has yet to be impressed with this skill.
Because they have a lot of problems.
Sources say that the teachers were alarmed.
i have no shame.
...which explains why all my highschool teachers always said I never believed in myself.
Before closing the doors, the flight attendants told them that the plane had been built by their own students. Scared, all of the teachers ran out of the plane, except one. The pilot came to him and asked him why he was so relaxed. The proffesor said "I know my students very well. And I'm sure that if this plane is really built by them, the thing won't even start!"
Mother: "Come on, Victor, you have to get out of bed or you'll be late for school."
Victor: "Mom, do I have to? All the teachers hate me, and all the students hate me, too."
Mother: "Yes, you do."
Victor: "Give me one good reason."
Mother: "Because you're 34 years old, and you're the principal."
'Get up, son, you have to get to school!'
'But Mum, why do I have to go? I hate it!'
'Tell me two reasons why you think you shouldn't go.'
'Firstly: all the kids hate me. Secondly: the teachers hate me even more.'
'Hmph, excuses! C'mon, go get ready!'
'Tell me two reasons why you think I should go!'
'Firstly: you're 47. Secondly: you're the headmaster!'
A man was dying in the hospital and he needed a new brain or he wouldn't survive for long, the doctor told him there were 3 available brains but each with a price.
The first one was an professor's brain that costs 3000 dollar
The second brain was a teachers brain that costs 2500 dollar
The third brain was the brain of a blonde woman that costs a good 9000 dollar
The man asks why the blondes brain is so expensive
The doctor replies: because it's never used
As its the first day, the teachers want to gauge how smart each child is.
"who can sing the Alphabet" enquires the teacher
'Y'arrrr I can" says BB Junior
"Ok BB, go ahead" the teacher encourages
BB stands up full of confidence
"A B C C C C C C C D E F..."
"Stop" the teacher interrupts "thats not right BB there is only one C"
BB looks at her as if she's an idiot
"WRONG" he retorts "THERE ARE *SEVEN C's*"
I guess he became desenseitized
They don't like integration.
I have my first shift on Monday.
root beer
One of the teachers at my local school for obese children, was fired today. He was fired for doing cocaine before going to work. He was ratted out by his large pupils.
There were principles for that.
As it turns out, though, it was just a kid knapping.
As long as the librarians get silencers.
If teachers don't have arms, how are they supposed to write on the board?
None, it's not on the state standardized test and light bulbs aren't in the budget.
Then there wouldn't be any teachers left to give raises to.
In fact, once a student asked me this: "Can you give me an example of future progressive tense?"
I responded with "Certainly. I will be seeing you after class."
He must have wanted another example, as he was still standing in my classroom when I arrived the next day.
Librarians will be issued silencers.
They can't control their pupils!
To Times Square.
but will get mad when we fall asleep in their class.
I said, "What's that?"
He said, "A big building with teachers and kids in it, dad, but that's not important right now"
Because their pupils are small.
Librarians will be issued silencers.
But my teachers never let me sleep in class.
I suppose there's a lot less competition when you're homeschooled
... homework?
Apparently too many teachers were having sex with the students.
"But, mom, why do I have to go? I hate school!"
"Give me two reasons why you don't want to go."
"One: all children hate me, two: all teachers hate me even more!"
"These are just excuses, get up once and for all!"
"But then YOU give me two reasons to go."
"One: you are 41 years old, two: you are the school principal!"
In school, the teachers care about you mentally, at church, the priests care about you physically.
They both want you to tell them Y.
Being home schooled in Mississippi was rough.
A guy in my class asked out a girl and he got a girlfriend. So I asked out a girl and lost my teachers licence. -\_-
Aw mom, just a bit more sleep, please.
No, it's really high time, now get up.
But I don't want to. The children annoy me and the teachers are a complete pain!
Stop it, now. Get up and off to school with you!
Mom, give me two good reasons why I should go to the stupid school.
Paulie, first of all, you're **45**, and second, you're the **headmaster**.
*An Arab student emails his dad:*
Dear Dad,
Berlin is wonderful, people are nice and I really like it here,
but Dad, I am a bit ashamed to arrive at my college with my pure-gold Ferrari when all my teachers and many fellow students travel by train.
Your son, Nasser.
*The next day, Nasser gets a reply to his e-mail from his dad:*
My dear loving son,
Twenty million USD have just been transferred to your account. Please stop embarrassing us. Go and get yourself a train too.
Love,
your Dad
I told them, "Just you wait!"
They're always plotting something.
Because they don't want to drink and derive.
Too many students sleeping with their teachers.
Trump visits an elementary school to greet the students and teachers. He asks the students, what do you all want to be when you grow up?
A farmer, shouts one.
An astronaut, shouts another.
The President of the United States, confidently says a little girl.
Who said that, shouts Trump. The little girl raises her hand and he darts eyes at her. He begins to fume, are you joking? Are you brainless? Are you a complete moron? Are you stupid? Are you an idiot?
The little girl, taken aback, says, on second thought, nevermind! That sounds like too many requirements!
Do you know who I am? the girl asks her new classmate. I'm the daughter of the principal.
The boy is silent and then asks her, Do you know who I am?
She shakes her head no. Good, says the boy as he walks away.
One day I got picked and the letter of that day was N so I got asked, "Jeff, why don't you use the letter of the day, N, and tell us something that you're not very good at that starts with the letter N." I stood up next to my desk and said... Spelling
"But why, Mom? I don't want to go."Β
"Give me two reasons why you don't want to go."Β
"Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!"Β
"Oh, that's no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready."Β
"Give me two reasons why I should go to school."Β
"Well, for one, you're 52 years old. And for another, you're the Principal!"
They only care about the dead
Cuz it improves division
They just reduce to lowest terms
He's made 3 vases so far
What do plumbers and teachers have in common?
They both gotta deal with little shits all day
Now, I fully support anything they need to do to feel more like themselves, but I never imagined it would affect my social life like it has. The teachers won't see me, my friends act like I'm not there. Hell even the mailman hasn't made a delivery in weeks. I never realized how hard it was to be a transparent.
3 teachers, Science, Auto shop, and Mathematics, go hunting together over their winter vacation. They come across an enormous 6 point buck. The science teacher who saw it first takes aim. He fires and misses by 3 feet to left. The auto shop teacher shoulders him asside and says, " this is how you do it!". He fires and misses 3 feet to the right. The math teacher jumps up and Screams, "we got him!".
I don't know why though. She has done nothing.
"All my life, I've been afraid.
First I was afraid of my parents.
Then my teachers.
Then my Boss.
And finally of death."
Someone interrupted, " Why didn't you mention your wife?".
The man replied, " Because I am afraid, she is right here."
You can tell by them always asking you to find the X
Teachers: its a normal cough
Doctors: its a normal cough
Google: You have 3 minutes
A Student, every time he is absent from school, he tells his teachers that his father is in the hospital, then when this happened way too many times, one of his teachers goes to visit his father
He was surprised to find
his father is in fact a doctor
Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"
Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"
supply teachers
I don't want to wake up.
You have to go to school.
I don't want to go to the school. All the teachers hate me. The students all hate me too.
But you must go!
Why must I go?
You're the principal.
Synonym Rolls
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the teachers dumb teacher jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working teachers fat teacher piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.