Teacher Jokes

Funniest Teacher Short Jokes

Short teacher jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The teacher humour may include short student jokes also.

1. When I was a kid, my parents would always say "Excuse my french" after a swear word... ...I'll never forget that first day at school when the teacher asked did we know any french.
2. Student: Are well and actually both single-syllable words? Teacher: Well yes , but actually no
3. Boy: What's a palindrome?
   Teacher: racecar
   {10 years later}
   Boy: [bursting out of bank in ski mask] where's the palindrome
   Getaway driver: [sitting in kayak]
4. My teacher didn't believe me when I said I had 36 pets so I showed her a picture of my fish tank. She freaked out when she saw how many dogs I could fit in there.
5. I asked my maths teacher, "Will we ever use any of this algebra?" She said, "You won't, but some of the smart kids might."
6. I just saw my math teacher lock himself in his office with a piece of graph paper. I think he must be plotting something.
7. Putin won the election with 76.6% of the vote Funnily enough the exact same percent I gave myself when my teacher told us we could mark our own tests and I didn't want to look suspicious
8. A teacher asks her class what their favourite letter is A student puts up his hand and says 'G'. The teacher walks over to him and says, "Why is that, Angus"
9. A dad joke my science teacher told me a long time ago: Why are bacteria so bad at math?
   Because they multiply by dividing.
   RIP Miss Henn. Miss her lots.
10. Every day, my teacher reads a joke from Reddit to start the class, but today she is absent. So instead, a subreddit.

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Teacher One Liners

Which teacher one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with teacher? I can suggest the ones about trainer and education.

1. If We're Going to Arm the Teachers All I ask is that the librarians get silencers
2. It turns out my high school chemistry teacher was right.... Alcohol IS a solution.
3. Teacher: What is 117 + 3? Johny: 5!
   Teacher: Correct..
4. My math teacher said I was average... How mean.
5. My physics teacher told me I had potential. Then he threw me off the roof.
6. Someone keyed the music teacher's car Fortunately, the damage seems to B minor
7. Teacher: what is 4+2? Johnny: 3!
   Teacher: Yes, you are right.
8. Why did the cross eyed teacher quit her job? Because she couldn't control her pupils.
9. My maths teacher never goes outside I can tell, cos there's no sin of his tan
10. What is the average maths teacher like? Mean
11. What is an english teacher's favorite drink? Tequila Mockingbird
12. What do you call a fantastic Japanese teacher? Sensei-tional
13. Why was the math teacher late for school? He took the rhombus
14. After a long and distinguished career, my French teacher finally retired. Adios, amigo.
15. My teacher told me to turn in my essay But I ain't no snitch

Teacher And Student Jokes

Here is a list of funny teacher and student jokes and even better teacher and student puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• A teacher is explaining the concept of statistics with an example: "Statistically, every time I breathe out, someone dies." Student: "Have you tried antiseptic mouthwash, sir?"
• Teacher - 'Use dandelion in a sentence' Jamaican student - 'De cheetah is faster dandelion'
• Student: I've been writing my exam for 2 hours but haven't answered a single question!!! Politics Teacher: Well done, that's an A.
• Today I gave a student detention for being tardy I was then fired from my job as a special ed. teacher
• Holding a gun to his teacher, the student demanded, "Tell me the square root of -2!" The teacher begged, "Please, let's be rational here."
• A man lost $100 bill Teacher: Why are you late?
  Student: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill.
  Teacher: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it?
  Student: No. I was standing on it.
• The student and the teacher. JACK: "Would you punish me for something I didn't do?"
  TEACHER:" Of course not. "
  JACK: "Good, because I haven't done my homework ...."
• Teacher - how did our grandparents kill time without smartphones or internet ? Student- I've already asked this question to my mum, her 5 brothers and 7 sisters !!
• Do special ed teachers mark late students as tardy? i have no shame.
• My sister is a theater teacher and asked her class, "What would the world be like without theater?" One of her students replied, "Well, Abraham Lincoln would've lived a bit longer."

Student Teacher Jokes

Here is a list of funny student teacher jokes and even better student teacher puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• A teacher asked a student," Tell me the 1st Law of Newton" "I don't remember the whole line, just the last part"
  "Ok tell the last part"
  "... and this is called the 1st Law of Newton
• The teacher says "If you answer my question, you can go home." One student throws a pen at him. The teacher asks "Who did that?"
  "It was me, goodbye."
• Why can a teacher donate her adult-sized kidney to save a student? Because it's a kidney, not an adultney.
• The Chemical Formula For Water Teacher: "What is the chemical formula for water?"
  Student: "HIJKLMNO."
  Teacher: "What are you talking about?"
  Student: "Yesterday you said it's H to O!"
• Harassment. So a teacher asks her students to use the word harassment in a sentence. A boy stood up and said, "Ok this is easy. I met a beautiful girl one day and harassment a lot to me"
• A teacher asks a student.. Teacher: I'm gonna ask you a question and I want you to answer fast. Got it?
  Student: Yes teacher.
  Teacher: What is 2+2?
  Student: FAST!
• Teacher: What is the tense of the phrase "I am beautiful" Student: Past
• The grammar teacher said "In English, two negatives make an affirmative, but two affirmatives never make a negative." A student replied... "Yeah, right!"
• Teacher: did your father help you with your homework? Student: no he did it all by himself
• Teacher: What is the formula for water? Student: H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O.
  Teacher: That's not what I taught you.
  Student: But you said the formula for water was...H to O.

School Teacher Jokes

Here is a list of funny school teacher jokes and even better school teacher puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Did you guys hear about the kid getting arrested for bringing a clock to school? Sources say that the teachers were alarmed.
• Is it ok for me to start drinking as soon as the kids are at school? Or does that make me a bad teacher?
• I was tucking my son in last night, and he tells me that his teacher is "an idiot" and she's "out to get him." Which is just the last thing you want to hear when your kid's home schooled.
• In my day, schooling was so severe. If we got answers wrong in class, teachers would hit us with unbreakable metal rulers.
  Tough measures.
• No one laughed at my joke I made in school so maybe you guys will like it What do you call an english teacher who knows how to code
  A pro-grammar
• My music teacher at school told me never to hit a drum again or I could get in serious trouble. I did, and he was right. There was serious re-percussions
• At my school there's a rapper named MC Squared The science teacher just calls him E
• My teacher said that we were going to have only half of a day of school this morning We all cheered, then she said that we'd have the other half this afternoon.
• Shoutout to my teachers from high school who said I would work at McDonalds I have my first shift on Monday.
• The school counsellor told me that alcohol was never a solution. I said that my chemistry teacher would disagree.

Teacher Day Jokes

Here is a list of funny teacher day jokes and even better teacher day puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• My dad would swear and then say, "Excuse my French" One day the teacher asked if anyone could speak a foreign language and I raised my hand.
• Happy Pi Day Me: I dreamed my teacher is making me read out endless values of π.
  Psychiatrist: Is it recurring?
  Me: Not as far as anyone can tell.
• The other day, my Physics teacher said I had so much potential... Then he pushed me out the window.
• My teacher used to tell me that I would never amount to anything by looking out of the window all day Man did I feel smug as I passed him his burger and fries at the drive-through last night
• My ceramics teacher was excellent. Day after day, she was always kiln it.
• Little Suzy wet herself in class one day.. The teacher asked "Why didn't you put your hand up?" She said "I did! but it ran out through my fingers!"
• Grandpa Me: My grandpa knew the exact time, day and year he was going to die!
  Teacher: What an evolved soul? How'd he know?
  Me: The judge told him.
• "Why are you late?" my teacher asked. "My dad's in the hospital," I replied. Seven days later I was still late. Teacher said, "Is your dad still in the hospital?"
  "Yes, he's a doctor."
• On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read…. "The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents."
• So it's the first day of shop class... The teacher asks, "What's the difference between a nail, a screw, and a bolt?" A girl raises her hand and says, "I don't know. I've never been bolted before."

Teacher Student Jokes

Here is a list of funny teacher student jokes and even better teacher student puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Biology Joke Biology teacher:
  Can anyone name a disease?
  Student:
  I can sir.
  Teacher:
  Well done. Whose next?
• A teacher asks her student Teacher: What does a Bee gives us?
  Student: Honey
  Teacher: What does a cow gives us?
  Student: Milk
  Teacher: What does a fat pig gives us?
  Student: Homework
• TIL that a class was taught by the wrong stand in teacher and the students knowingly went along with it. Whoops, wrong sub.
• Student: Can we postpone the test? It's on my birthday. Student: Can we postpone the test? It's on my birthday.
  Teacher: Well unlike your birthday, this test was planned ahead of time.
• An English teacher asked their students: "Of all the characters in the Old Testament, who do you think is the most developed?" A student responded, "Noah, because he has the largest story Ark."
• What did the guitar student say when his teacher gave him advice on how to sound more like Jimi Hendrix? "Thanks, I appreciate the feedback."
• Teacher : Do you know the reason Manchester United lost to Arsenal ? Student : Manchester United lost because their defenders were Young, Small and Blind
• Teacher and student Chemistry teacher: Did you know protons have mass?
  Student: 😳 I didn't even know they were catholics.
• Student: I'll never be good at geography. Geography teacher: Not with that latitude!
• A preschool teacher is teaching a student basic geography Teacher: "what state do you live in?"
  Student: "denial."

Share Hilarious Teacher Jokes and Enjoy Unforgettable Laughter

What funny jokes about teacher you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean private tutor jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make teacher pranks.