Following is our collection of funny Taxes jokes. There are some taxes loans jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these taxes color of taxes puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Taxes
That man would do just about anything to avoid paying the taxes.
...at least death doesn't get worse every time congress meets.
There once was a man named Barack
Whose re-election came as a shock
He raised taxes I pay
And turned marriage gay
And now he's coming after your Glock
Republicans are against them and democrats want more for schools.
A man walked into a restaurant with his young son. He gave the young boy 3 nickels to play with to keep him occupied.
Suddenly, the boy started choking, going blue in the face. The father realized the boy had swallowed the nickels and started slapping him on the back. The boy coughed up 2 of the nickels, but kept choking.
Looking at his son, the father panicked and shouted for help.
A well-dressed, attractive, and serious looking woman in a blue business suit was sitting at the coffee bar reading a
newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee. At the sound of the commotion, she looked up, put her coffee cup down, neatly folded the newspaper and placed it on the counter, got up from her seat and made her way, unhurried, across the restaurant.
Reaching the boy, the woman carefully dropped his pants, took hold of the boy's testicles and started to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly.
After a few seconds the boy convulsed violently and coughed up the last nickel, which the woman deftly caught in her free hand.
Releasing the boy's testicles, the woman handed the nickel to the father and walked back to her seat at the coffee bar without saying a word.
As soon as he was sure that his son had suffered no ill effects, the father rushed over to the woman and started thanking her saying, "I've never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor? "
No," the woman replied, "I'm with the Internal Revenue Service."
What are the three certainties in life? ( Thank you for spellcheck on google chrome ) 1. death 2. taxes. 3. you'll hear this joke sooner or later
...they tell him he owes more taxes. He says, "Why?" They say, "Because we appreciated your humor."
death, taxes, and people who can't count.
He's great at making deductions.
You can explore taxes income reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean taxes money dad jokes. There are also taxes puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
I tried, but the IRS still wanted cash.
But she really wasn't Intuit.
Cause they keep *Dublin* the taxes.
you drive hard to get to the green and end up in the hole.
Because I'm smart.
Tony and his friend John die in a car accident and go to judgment. God tells Tony that because he cheated on his income taxes, the only way he can enter Heaven is to sleep with a stupid, ugly woman for the next five years.
A few days later, as Tony's walking in the park with his stupid, hideous new girlfriend, he spots his friend John with an absolutely drop dead gorgeous woman. "John, what happened?" Tony asks.
"I have no idea," John replies. "I was told I have five years of amazing sex to look forward to. The only thing I don't understand is why she always yells 'Damn income taxes!' whenever we have sex."
Take away 30% of their Halloween candy and promise them you'll give part of it back in 70 years!
And the population of Canada.
Declare that the US has a $900 million loss so we all don't have to pay taxes!
Two men are stranded on a deserted island. One despairs, but the other one claps him assuredly on the back and says, Don't worry, they will definitely find us, and soon.
Really? Why do you think so?
I owe the IRS five years' worth of taxes.
He's a master of deduction.
...and the fact that the object in front of you causes cancer in the state of California.
99c+tax AriZona Iced Tea
Darth Evader
Me: What are taxes and how do I pay them?
School: Worry not
School: Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell
His name was Sir Charge
They really suck every time you get a pay check
Politicians prefer to bend a page over.
Which is weird. I thought American politicians were rather fond of minors.
I tried, but they wanted cash.
I already told her I'm not intuit.
US President says: we tax our people at roughly 30%, and what they do with the rest, is not of my business
UK prime minister says: we tax our people at 50%, and what they do with the rest is none of my business.
Ukrainian president says: we tax our people at 130%, and where they get the rest, is none of my business
This is a joke from the 1990s.
A man goes to see his accountant about some help filing his taxes.
The accountant: okay I'll just need some information. What do you do for a living?
The man: I'm a dentist.
A: okay, and are you married?
M: yes, i am!
A: okay, and what does your wife do for a living?
M: well, it's sorta hard to say...
A: okay, but i need this information to proceed. What does she do?
M: She sells seashells down by the seashore!!
Death, taxes, and my inability to count
Backwards, the sintax is.
May the 4th be with you!
Taxes.
6yr: What game are you playing?
Me: Paying the taxes.
6yr: Are you winning?
Me: No, In fact I lost 6 Years ago.
Because I want to pay taxes instead of living off of it.
Employee: "that's gross"
He owed too much in back taxes.
I'm just not Intuit.
It's hard to believe that 95% of us can't do simple math.
Now that trapezoid season is coming, I'll be prepared.
This is not the world I want to raise my 23 dependents in..
... Do your taxes 2 months early!
H&Rrrrrr block (pirate voice)
I thought of this the other day, not sure if it's an actual joke or not, made me laugh at myself though.
But women have sex with me because it can be deducted on the taxes as charity
That's because naan-prophets are tax-exempt.
They are not for prophets
Lorde.
Because they belong to a non-prophet organization.
The guy working at McDonald's has to pay income taxes.
Try not paying your taxes.
Death, taxes, and Halloween candy assortments will always include one candy that ruins the bag.
.....other countries and politicians are depending on you.
He owed back taxes.
Taxes can keep your electrical grid operational.
At no point have my taxes ever been frozen.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the taxes tariff jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working taxes debt piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.