Tax Accountant Jokes
25 tax accountant jokes and hilarious tax accountant puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about tax accountant that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Tax Accountant Short Jokes
Short tax accountant jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The tax accountant humour may include short tax man jokes also.
- I got fired for not accepting a raise at my job this week because I didn't want to lose money paying higher taxes in the next bracket. I sure feel bad for the accountant they hire to replace me.
- Why did Trump invite George W Bush to the white house? His accountant said he needed a W2 for taxes
- Instead of an accountant, hire a philosopher to do your taxes. It's the thought that counts.
- There are a lot of cons about Switzerland... ...Their pretentiousness, their tax-evading bank accounts, their neutrality
But on the other hand, their flag is a big plus. - Yo momma so dumb she tried to avoid taxes by setting up an offshore bank account on Hawaii!
- Q: Who makes the best detective - Sherlock Holmes or a tax accountant?
A: The tax accountant - she make's more deductions.
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Tax Accountant One Liners
Which tax accountant one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with tax accountant? I can suggest the ones about income tax and retiring accountant.
- I'm thinking of quitting my job as an accountant The work is just too taxing.
- My accountant is tired from doing too many taxes. He developed H&R block.
- Accounting is hard I guess you could say its mentally taxing
- What do call an ant that helps you with your taxes? An account-ant.
- Where do homeless accountants live? In a tax shelter.
Blame GROCO PCA - So my accountant told me I should open an aquarium.... He said it was for tax porpoises.
- I quit my job as an accountant It was just too taxing
- How do you know you have a great CPA?
He has a tax loophole named after him. - Why did an emo become an accountant? There's no cuts like tax cuts.
- Why do accountants hate pre-tax income? It's g**....
Silly Tax Accountant Jokes for a Good Time with Friends
What funny jokes about tax accountant you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean retired accountant jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make tax accountant pranks.
A man was walking along the beach with his mother-in-law...
She was complaining about how much of a good-for-nothing husband he was to her daughter, when he saw a bottle on the ground. He picked it up, wondering what it was, when a genie popped out. The genie told the man he could make 3 wishes, but when he saw the mother-in-law, said whatever the man got, the mother-in-law would get double. The man thought for a while and agreed. "I would like 1 million dollars," the man said. "Your wish is granted," said the genie. 1 million dollars was added to the man's banking account, and 2 million to the mother-in-law's. She starts complaining, "Thanks a lot, now I'll have to manage all this money, why do you have to be so selfish?!" The next wish was for a large house, and that wish was granted. This meant the mother-in-law would have a house twice as big, and started complaining about how she would have to clean such a large house, and the taxes would be expensive.
For the man's final wish, he wished to be beaten half to death.
Six months
A woman is told by her doctor that she has six months to live.
"Is there anything I can do?" she asks.
"Yes, there is," the doctor replies. "You could marry a tax accountant."
"How will that help my illness?" the woman asks.
"Oh, it won't help your illness," says the doctor, "but it will make that six months seem like an eternity!"
A businessman interviews a mathematician, an accountant, and an economist for a job
A businessman interviews a mathematician, an accountant, and an economist for a job. He asks them, What is 2 + 2?
The mathematician answers, Exactly 4.
The accountant replies, Depending on what your interest, depreciation, and taxes are, approximately 2.
The economist walks over to the door, shuts and locks it, closes the blinds on the window, and leans over and softly asks, What do you want it to be?
The German tax evader in Switzerland
A German wants to bring his untaxed savings to a number account in Switzerland.
He sneaks into the bank, looks around and whispers to the bank assistant:
"Psst! I've got 2 million euros in my suitcase!"
The bank assistant replies in a normal voice:
"Why do you try to be so unsuspicious? Poverty is not a shame in Switzerland."
A man goes to see his accountant
A man goes to see his accountant about some help filing his taxes.
The accountant: okay I'll just need some information. What do you do for a living?
The man: I'm a dentist.
A: okay, and are you married?
M: yes, i am!
A: okay, and what does your wife do for a living?
M: well, it's sorta hard to say...
A: okay, but i need this information to proceed. What does she do?
M: She sells seashells down by the seashore!!
