The Best 70 Tattoo Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Tattoo jokes. There are some tattoo ink jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these tattoo tat puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Tattoo Jokes and Puns
People always ask where I got my incredibly detailed tattoo done, but they never believe me when I tell them Spain.
Nobody expects the Spanish ink precision.
So I dragged off this girl from the bar the other night...
She had this cool tattoo of a seashell on her inner thigh. Damnedest thing, though! When I put my ear to it, I could smell the ocean.
Tatoos of Elvis
A woman goes into a tattoo parlor and asks for a picture of Elvis be tattooed high up on her left thigh.
The tattoo guy complies, but when he's done, the woman looks at the result and says "That doesn't look like Elvis at all!"
The guy says, "I can't do anything to remove it, but I could try again on the other thigh".
The woman agrees, but when all is done, she thinks that the new tattoo looks nothing like Elvis, either and refuses to pay.
The tattoo artist makes a proposal, "Ma'am, I'll ask a customer in the waiting room to come in and have a look at the tattoos. If he can identify Elvis, you pay me. Otherwise, you owe me nothing."
The woman agrees. A customer is called in and the woman, dropping her pants and spreading her legs, says "Do you recognize these famous musicians?"
The guy looks, thinks for a minute, then says "I don't know about the twins, but the one in the middle with the beard and bad breath is definitely Willie Nelson."
A woman walks into a tattoo parlor.
Asking the man in charge to put a picture of a turkey saying "Happy Thanksgiving!" on one thigh and a picture of Santa saying "Merry Christmas!" on the other. The man looked confused by her odd request, so he asked her why. She calmly looked at him and replied without even a stutter. "My husband always complains that there's nothing good to eat between Christmas and Thanksgiving."
An albino guy walks into a tattoo parlor...
...the tattooist looks him over, and asks "So... what do you want?"
The albino guy replies, "BEIGE. EVERYWHERE."
I'm getting a tattoo of an elephant on my ear...
The only reason I'm doing this is so when people ask me "Why do you have a tattoo of an elephant on your ear?" I can say "Don't worry about it. It's ear elephant."
My girlfriend got a tattoo of a seashell on the inside of her thigh.
If I put my ear on it I can smell the sea.
Last month, I asked my dad if I could get a tattoo.
He told me to get it somewhere that didn't matter, so I got it done in Oklahoma.
So my girlfriend got a new tattoo......
Of a seashell located on her inner thigh, and the best part is if you place your ear next to it you can smell the ocean.
Patriotism
A nurse was taking care of a soldier in the Army Hospital.
"How I wish I could kiss the American flag before I die," the soldier said.
The nurse was extremely touched by the soldier's patriotism and said, "I have a tattoo of the American flag on my bottom. You may kiss it if you don't mind."
"Of course I wouldn't mind. Thank you for fulfilling my last wish," the soldier said.
The nurse took off her panties and the dying soldier kissed the flag.
"Thank you, nurse," he said "Now would you be so kind as to turn around so that I could kiss Bush too?"
What do you call a pretty lady on the arm of a drummer?
A Tattoo.
You can explore tattoo seashell reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean tattoo holiday tattoo dad jokes. There are also tattoo puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
My friend decided to get a tattoo of Pi on his face.
It was an irrational decision.
My ex-girlfriend has a tattoo of a seashell on her inner thigh.
and if you hold your ear against it, you can smell the sea.
My son just got a tattoo of a heart, a spade, a club, and a diamond, all without my permission.
I guess I'll deal with him later.
Yesterday I went to a temporary tattoo parlour to get a tattoo.
After it wouldn't wash off this morning I went back to complain, but the tattoo parlour wasn't there.
What do you call a beautiful woman on the arm of a banjo player?
A tattoo.
A blond chick gets a new tattoo...
So later at the bar with her friends she hikes up her skirt to show off a conch shell tattooed high on her inner thigh, near her snootch.
One of her friends asks, "Why did you get it so on your thigh?"
"So that when you put your ear against it, you can smell the ocean."
A guy asks for a tattoo on his........
A guy asks for a tattoo of a $100 bill on his private parts. Curious, the tattoo artist asks him why he would possibly want that.
He replies, "Three reasons: I like to play with my money, I like to watch my money grow, and $100 seems to be the only thing my wife will blow these days."
First I got a tattoo on my cervical that said "5".
Next, I got one on my thoracic that said "4"
Then, I got one on my lumbar that said "3"
After that, I got one on my Sacrum that said 2"
And now, I'm getting one on my Coccyx that says "1"
It's the spinal countdown.
I got a prison tattoo of mitochondria
Now I truly am the powerhouse of the cell
If you get a tattoo of a thermos,
Is it now a thermostat?
Did you hear the one about the girl with a seashell tattoo on her inner thigh?
If you put your ear up next to it, you can smell the ocean.
My girlfriend got a tattoo of a shell on her thigh
Every time I lay my ear on it I can smell the sea.
The kind of woman that ya make your wife.
I always look for a woman who has a tattoo. I see a woman with a tattoo, and I'm thinking, okay, here's a gal who's capable of making a decision she'll regret in the future.
I always look for a woman who has a tattoo.
Because then I would know she is capable of making decisions she will regret in the future.
I got a tattoo of a gong
Because I heard it's cool to get a tattoo of a Chinese cymbal
My buddy went to get a tattoo of an Indian on his back...
Half way through he said "Don't forget to put a big tomahawk in his hand."
The tattooist said "Hang on pal, I've only just finished his turban."
My wife has a tattoo of a shell on the inside of her thigh...
It's a really weird thing, when you lay your ear on it you smell the sea.
- I hope it came off right, thats an old joke they tell in my country
Got a tattoo of a digital watch on my wrist.
I regretted it literally one minute later.
When I'm at a bar
I always look for a girl who has a tattoo. I see a tattoo, and I think, here's a girl who's capable of making a decision she'll regret in the future.
My girlfriend said she was going to get a massive tattoo of a snake on her back.
"Do it," I said. "But it might hurt you."
"I know," she replied. "But it's only a needle."
"No," I said. "I mean being single."
My girlfriend got a tattoo of a conch shell on her inner thigh...
Every time I lay my ear on it I can smell the ocean.
If I lie there long enough, I get crabs on my forehead.
A friend asked me what my tattoo says.
I told him, "It doesn't really talk much."
My daughter is considering getting a tattoo...
She asked me what she should get. I told her to get a 4, so people would say what's that for.
What do hookers and tattoo artists have in common?
The minimum is $60, unless you're willing to risk catching a disease.
A blonde gets a tattoo...
...On her inner thigh of a conch shell.
Friend: Why did you get a conch shell tattoo on your inner thigh?
Blonde: So that when you put your ear against it you can smell the ocean.
What does one tat say to the other tat?
I am a tattoo
My girlfriend has a tattoo of a sea shell on her inner thigh.
When you put your ear on it, you can smell the ocean.
A friend of mine got a seashell tattoo on her thigh...
If you put your ear up to it, you can smell the ocean
I recently got a tattoo of the numbers 1 through 9 on my back...
so that way if you have my back you can always count on me
This guy at a party tried pressuring me into getting a tattoo...
..but I reminded him I have the right to bare arms.
You have to appreciate how badass those Chinese are...
They made a language totally out of tattoo symbols.
I once met a girl with a tattoo of a conch on her inner thigh
When I put my ear to it I could smell the sea
A man went to a tattooist and requested a tally mark on his back
Every couple of weeks, the same customer came in, always requesting the same tattoo: an additional tally mark on an ever-growing cluster of tally marks. One day, the tattooist decides to ask: "What are you counting?"
The man says: "The number of tattoos i've gotten"
A soccer mom walked into a tattoo parlor and asked for a Christmas tree on her left thigh and a turkey on the right thigh.
When they were done the artist asked why she wanted these tattoos.
She replied, "My husband always complains that there's nothing to eat between Thanksgiving and Christmas."
When people ask me where I got my well drawn tattoo, their always suprised when I say i got it in Spain.
Nobody expects the Spanish ink precision.
Many people who go to Spain to get tattoos are surprised at how skilled the tattoo artists are.
Nobody expects the Spanish ink precision.
Tattoos
People are amazed at how good the tattoo artists are in Spain........
They weren't expecting the Spanish ink precision
People are always amazed at the skilled tattoo artists in Spain.
No one expects the Spanish ink precision
I got a tattoo of a dictionary on my bisep...
I wanted to add definition to my arm
I'm going to tattoo a pack of cigarettes on my arm.
That way my father will actually want me.
I met this girl with a tattoo of a sea shell on her inner thigh
She told that if I put my ear to it, I can smell the ocean.
My mum told me if I get a tattoo I will have to move out.
My father could not lose the opportunity and got a tattoo himself.
My wife got a new tattoo on her inner thigh.
It's a seashell. When you put your ear on it, you can smell the ocean.
The tattoo parlour in my town is offering a free tattoo if you go in and flash your boobs.
It's a Tit for Tat special.
This girl I met on Tinder had a tattoo of a seashell on her innerthigh
If you put your ear against it and listened closely, you could smell the sea.
A lady walked into a tattoo parlor and said, "Can you do a tattoo of a turkey on my right inner thigh and one of a Christmas tree on my left inner thigh?"
"Sure,* the tattoo artist said. "But if you
don't mind me asking, why did you choose
those two designs?"
The lady smiled. "My husband' she explained. "He says there's never anything to eat
between Thanksgiving and Christmas!"
In New York there are many tattoo artists from all over the world, but for some reason the artists from Spain have trouble getting business.
Why? Because nobody expects the Spanish ink precision!
I met a girl with a tattoo of a seashell on her inner thigh.
If you held your ear to it, you could smell the ocean.
My wife said I could only get a tattoo, if she gets a boob job.
Seems only fair. Tit for tat.
The tattoo parlour in my town is offering free tattoos to anyone who would flash their boobs.
It's a tit for tat special.
Dad Joke of the year!
# To prove I'm not some boring house dad I went and got a tattoo!
Her: Oh, cool! It's.. uh?
Me: (proudly) It's my thermos! From work!
Her: (reaching towards me) Well, uh, the line work is certainly..
Me: (slaps hand away) Don't touch the thermos tat.
I have a lower back tattoo, and in the delivery room they absolutely refused to give me an epidural...
I have a lower back tattoo, and in the delivery room they absolutely refused to give me an epidural (or any pain meds at all).
I asked if the tattoo was the reason, and the anesthesiologist said no, it's because your wife is the one giving birth, not you, sir.
Against my wishes my son has gone and had a tattoo of a heart, a spade, a club and a diamond.
I'll deal with him later.
A woman gets a free tattoo after showing the artist one of her breasts.
It was a tit-for-tat situation.
After seeing my new tattoo, my angered wife retaliated by getting a breast reduction...
tit for tat.
Where do tattoo artists connect?
InkedIn
Why did Rudolph run away from Santa, get a tattoo and dye his tail purple?
He was a rebel without a Claus
We did our company Christmas party online this year and my coworkers were surprised at my incredibly detailed tattoo. They refused to believe me when I told them it was done in Madrid, before the pandemic...
Nobody expected the Spanish ink precision...
I went for a tattoo.
I told the tattooist that I wanted a tattoo of an Indian on my back.
Half way through I said "put a tomahawk in his right hand."
"Tomahawk.?" "I have just finished his turban."
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the tattoo thigh jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working tattoo shorty piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.